Before I Let You Go (13 page)

“I can’t,” she began, and was cut off as his mouth closed over hers again, forcing her lips apart. Tongues intertwined while his hands slid down the curve of her hips, thrusting her against him so that she could feel the evidence of his arousal.

“You know what you do to me,” he muttered.

“Yes, I feel it.” She tightened her arms around his
neck and curved herself closer. She loved the way she felt, being in his arms with his weight against her.

A car door slamming brought her back to her senses. Gasping, she turned her head and pushed at him gently. “Look, I’ve got to go.”

Diamere grabbed her arm to keep her from leaving. “Why are you running away from us?”

Breathing heavily, she kept her eyes averted from his masculine presence. “Because I’ve been down this path before and am not the least bit interested in traveling that route again.”

Diamere placed a hand to her chin and tilted her face so she had no choice but to look at him as he spoke. “You can’t base our relationship on your past experiences. That’s unfair.”

She saw the look of hurt on his face and wanted so desperately to leap into his arms. Instead she stepped back, putting a little distance between them. “Life isn’t fair. Unfortunately, I have other things going on in my life right now that have to take priority.”

“So what now?”

She could tell he put his pride on the line in asking that question. Kelly shook her head and decided to be honest. “I don’t know.”

He reached out for her but she stepped back before he could touch her. If she felt the heat of his skin against hers, there was no way she would be able to resist him a second longer.

“I’ll call you,” she said, then climbed in her car and pulled away without looking back.

D
iamere leaned forward in the chair behind his desk. From the way Carlos was having a hard time standing up on his own, he knew it would be one of those nights.

“Carlos, what can I do for you?”

The man crossed his arms and had the nerve to glare at him and say, “I want my job back.”

Diamere stood to his full height, feeling every bit of his thirty-five years as he came from behind the desk to stare at the man he’d once considered a friend. “I can’t do that.”

“Why?”

He met his intense glare head-on. “Because you’re an alcoholic, and unless you’re willing to get help, the answer is no.”

Carlos swayed to the side, lost his footing and stumbled. “I can’t pay my rent.”

Diamere stared down at the sad man. “I’ll tell you
what,” he began. “You check yourself into rehab and I’ll take care of your bills for you.”

Carlos gave him a look of skepticism. “You would do that for me?”

He had to take a step back. Carlos’s breath reeked of alcohol. “Yes, that’s what friends do.”

His ex-employee paused, then nodded his head. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Good. Go get some rest. Tony, I need you to take him home.”

The large club manager shifted his weight and nodded. “Sure thing, boss.”

Diamere watched them leave. He wouldn’t wish that kind of ill fortune on anyone. Carlos once had had the world at this fingertips and a beautiful woman on his arm. Unfortunately, he’d let his popularity with the other ladies break up his engagement. He’d ended up losing his woman and later regretted his choices. Now he tried to hide behind alcohol.

Regret
.

Crossing his arms against his chest, Diamere paced the length of his office. Regret was one thing he never wanted to feel. Yet he was already there. He regretted letting Kelly walk out of his club tonight. He regretted leaving her seven years ago. The last thing he wanted was to look back on his life and regret letting her walk out of his life for good.

Hours after arriving home, Kelly lay in bed still waiting for her heart to slow down. She loved Diamere. There was no thinking about it. She knew what she felt in her heart, and being with him tonight proved she
couldn’t keep going on like this. Something had to give. The question was what?

There was a knock at her door and it startled her. She rose from the bed and moved down the hall to the front door. “Who is it?”

“Kelly, it’s me. Open the door.”

Her heart started pounding. Hand shaking, she reached for the lock and opened it. As soon as she met the whites of Diamere’s eyes, she took a deep breath and fought the instinct to jump into his arms. “Why are you here?” she asked as she searched his eyes for answers.

“You know why I’m here.”

He covered the distance between them, pulled her into his arms and captured her lips. Her arms came around him as she gave in to everything she was feeling. She could regret her decision later.

Diamere brought his mouth to hers and for an instant she was simply too stunned to speak. His intentions were clear. Kelly could feel the hard evidence of his arousal pressed against her abdomen. She wanted to take it out, to feel it in her hand. He deepened the kiss and she tasted the virility that was all male. When his tongue slid between her lips, the fire between them sparked to life, and whatever he wanted was all that mattered.

Kelly slipped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss. His hands found her breasts and he began to caress them, cupping them through the soft nylon gown, teasing her nipples until they hardened. Unconsciously, she arched toward him, pressing the fullness of her breasts into his hands.

“You like this?” he asked.

“Yes,” she moaned as a sliver of heat ran through her.

“Since you left the club, I couldn’t stop thinking about you,” he said. “I couldn’t stay away a minute longer.”

Diamere kissed her cheek, her neck, and found her lips again. She felt his hands sliding over her bottom, cupping her and pulling her against his hardness. He was clearly aroused, and so was she. No matter what happened tomorrow or the day after, she wanted this, wanted him.

He reached toward her, loosening the buttons on her gown, and eased the material off her shoulders and down over her hips, into a pool at her feet.

“Put your arms around my neck,” he instructed, his fingers circling her waist, easing her toward him. Kelly followed his command and looked up at him, tall and handsome, his eyes so very dark, and there was something about being completely naked while he was still clothed that turned her on.

“You are so beautiful,” he said. His gaze held hers as his hands caressed her bottom. “Open your legs.”

Her body pulsed, tightened. The look in his eyes promised a pleasure she knew he was capable of giving her.

“Diamere, I—”

“Open your legs,” he commanded.

Her heartbeat raced at the deep tone of authority. Heat settled between her thighs, and desire flowed through her blood. She did as he commanded, and felt his hands running over her bottom, slipping between her legs, and then he began to stroke her as he unbuckled his pants.

Shyness and eagerness overcame her. Diamere stopped caressing her long enough to reach inside his wallet for protection. When he put the condom in her hand, Kelly glanced up at him with uncertainty. She
didn’t have the slightest idea what to do, yet found herself ripping the package open and sliding the latex over his length.

“Wrap your legs around me.”

Diamere lifted her off the floor of the living room. She twined her legs tightly around his body and used the cool wall as support. Immediately, she felt his hardened length probing for entrance. When he slid deep into her, she arched her back and closed her eyes.

Diamere gripped her hips, holding her in place to receive his deep thrusts. Her own need heightened and her body tightened around him. She sighed with pleasure as release shook her. Diamere pounded into her until he took his own release, a low groan slipping from his throat.

They spiraled down together, Diamere still standing with her pressed against the wall. He lowered his mouth and captured hers in a powerful kiss, then swept her up into his arms.

“I’m taking you to bed.”

Her pulse raced as he carried her down the hall to her room and set her gently on the bed. While her eyes were on him, he removed his clothes, then slid his body on top of hers. The second time they made love was even more powerful, and after they both cried out in pleasure, they stayed there in each other’s arms and drifted off to sleep.

Hours later, Kelly woke to find Diamere staring down at her, his eyes intense with thought.

“We need to talk,” he said.

She turned her head and glanced over at the alarm clock on the nightstand. It was after seven. Had she really slept that late? She had expected to be on the
highway by six in hopes of missing some of the beach traffic. But now a wave of desire swept through her, reminding her how comfortable she had felt with her body snuggled up against his. “What would you like to talk about?” she asked in a groggy voice.

“Us,” Diamere replied, as if her question was ridiculous. It took her a second to realize the seriousness of his expression.

Wiping her eyes, Kelly sat up in bed. “Last I checked, there was no us.”

“Yes, but things have changed.”

Then tell me you love me
. She yearned to hear those three words. “What has changed?”

Diamere dragged a frustrated hand across his face, then met her intense stare. “I’m not ready for our relationship to end.”

Kelly pursed her lips with disappointment. It wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear, but at least it was a start. “Why is that?”

“Why do you think?” Diamere said as he looked up and down her naked body with a soft laugh.

Kelly gave a weak smile. Her shoulders sagged in response. All he wanted was for the sex to continue, without any commitment. Just like a man. “That’s not good enough,” she replied with a proud tilt of her chin.

“And why the hell not?” he barked.

Because I love you
. Kelly swallowed the lump in her throat. “I already told you. Because I don’t have time for a relationship right now. I’ve got too much going on in my life and it would be selfish of me.”

“And what if I want to be selfish?”

Kelly snorted. “It doesn’t matter what you want.”
She swung the covers away, then rose from the bed and padded across the room for her robe, which was draped across a chaise in the corner. “This is not up for discussion.” She slipped into the pink flannel garment and tied the belt before turning around.

Diamere gave a frustrated sigh, then rose from the bed, as well. He stood there in all his naked glory. He was hard and ready for action. The mere sight of him made Kelly feel dizzy with lust.

“I like having you in my life. What’s so wrong with that?” he asked.

Everything. There was no way she could continue to be with him and not fall deeper in love with him. Her heart was on the line and it prevented her from thinking coherently.

“Listen, Diamere, I really enjoyed being with you, but it’s time for me to get back to my life.” She cleared her throat uncomfortably. “I guess I’d better get ready. I planned to leave for the lake hours ago. A few days out in the country is just what I need right now.”

She waited, hoping he would say or do something. Instead he stood there for the longest time before he finally reached down for his clothes. “I don’t know what to say to get you to change your mind.”

Just tell me you love me
. “Diamere, nothing will change my mind. We both made it clear that we weren’t looking for anything serious. Nothing has changed. At least not for me. But school is starting in a week and I really need to get back on track or I’ll never get my thesis done.”

He slipped into his pants, then moved to where she was standing. It took everything she had not to wrap her arms around him and ask him to hold her.

“We could find a way to work around each other’s schedules,” Diamere suggested. “I like what you and I have.”

She swallowed. If only he would tell her he loved her, she would feel more comfortable in making time for him in her life. “I’m sorry. I didn’t expect things to be this…”

“Intense? This powerful?” Diamere asked. “Well, neither did I, but it’s not going away. We have some sort of connection that has survived and ignited after all these years. And if anything, it just seems to get stronger each time I see you.”

Kelly backed away, needing to put a little distance between them. She loved him so much and was hurting inside. “I know what you mean, but I just can’t do this. I’m sorry, Diamere, but this relationship is over.”

With nothing else to say, she went in search of her slippers. Her knees were wobbling as she moved down the hall and found them in the living room. Seconds later, Diamere followed. He moved to the door and paused. She held her breath, heart pounding, and waited. Diamere stood in place for so long she thought he was about to say something, before he finally reached for the door and opened it.

“Have a safe trip, okay?”

She nodded as she swallowed back a sob and watched him walk out of her life.

“D
iamere, your mind is definitely not with us.”

Hearing his name, he whipped his head around to look up at the three J’s—Jabarie, Jace and Jaden. All of them were staring at him.

“How are we going to bowl if you’re a million miles away?” Shaking his shoulder-length locks, Jaden reached for his bowling ball and within seconds sent it flying down the lane.

Trying to push his thoughts aside, Diamere grabbed his beer and took a drink. “I’ve just got a lot on my mind.”

“Anything you care to share?” Jabarie asked.

“Nope,” he replied. It was his turn to bowl. He rose, picked up his ball and sent it flying in turn, knocking down every pin that was bold enough to stand in its way.

Jabarie whistled. “Damn! You got some serious issues, huh?”

“Yeah, I think you bowl better when you’re distracted,” Jace said with a laugh.

Diamere glared over at his cousins before returning to his seat.

“That sexy little female wouldn’t have anything to do with your mood, would she?” Jace asked with a raised eyebrow. “What was her name?”

“Kelly,” Jabarie chimed in as he prepared to bowl.

At the mention of her name, Diamere lowered his gaze to his plastic cup. She had everything to do with what he was feeling. How could a woman have become so important to him?

“Now I think we’re getting somewhere,” Jaden stated as he slid over on the bench.

After bowling a seven, Jabarie returned to his seat. “Man, take it from me. If you want her, then don’t let anything stand in the way.”

Diamere met Jabarie’s intense look and knew that he was talking from personal experience. He had lost Brenna when his meddling parents tried to intervene. Their interference cost the couple five years of misery before they finally found each other again.

“I agree,” Jaden added. “You know I almost lost Danica because of something that was said. Take it from me, it’s not worth it.”

Diamere dragged a hand across his face. He had been in denial for the past few weeks but couldn’t lie to himself any longer. He hadn’t seen Kelly in three days and he had a deep pain inside that only she could mend. He had to come to terms with what had happened. And
he was now ready to admit that he loved her. There was no way he could keep playing this game. His cousins were right—it was time for him to go get his woman.