Before I Let You Go (4 page)

Diamere walked around to the driver’s side of his car, turned to face her, then leaned against the car and waited.

Kelly gazed over at him and nervously moistened her lips. She felt it was safe to assume, after a kiss like that, that Diamere was now out of her system. But it would be a long time before she could ever forget Diamere Redmond.

“Kelly, unless you don’t want me to leave, I’d advise you to go inside.”

Under the streetlight, she didn’t miss the lust burning in his eyes, not to mention the seductive warning in his voice. Obediently, she turned the knob and stepped inside her condo. It wasn’t until she shut the door and switched off the porch light that she heard Diamere pull away from the curb.

Kelly crossed the plush, mocha-colored carpet to her bedroom with visions of the evening flashing before her eyes. She had allowed Diamere to hold her in his arms and to kiss her not once but twice. With a moan, she pressed a hand to her temple. What in the world was she thinking? That was the problem. She wasn’t thinking. She was going to regret everything, especially the alcohol, in the morning.

Lowering herself onto her peach satin comforter, she kicked off her shoes and lay back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling fan above. She could still feel the firmness of his mouth against hers. Unconsciously she pressed her fingertips to her tingling lips and exhaled. Diamere was back in Philadelphia and he was now single. The knowledge of both these things made her heart pound so hard she had to gasp for air. A relationship was the last thing she needed. There were too many other things that were way too important. Besides, the last time she’d decided to put her heart on the line for a man, she got burned.

Diamere and Devin are two different men
.

That was true. Diamere had qualities to which Devin couldn’t even begin to compare. Kelly knew Diamere, and if she had to, she could trust him with her life. But her heart? No way. She wouldn’t be a fool again.

Realizing she was being ridiculous, she rose from the bed and moved into the adjoining bathroom for a quick shower. Diamere had made it clear he wasn’t looking for anything serious, and neither was she. A year ago she had learned a hard lesson—love, the happily-ever-after kind, existed only in romance novels.

I have twenty-two children
.

Looking down at the roster, Kelly couldn’t help the smile on her face. In four weeks she would be starting her teaching career at Baer Elementary School for the second time. Staring at the names, she shook her head. Six months ago she never would have guessed she would be back in Delaware.

She rose from her chair and moved down the aisle between small metal desks and chairs as she tried to push the painful memories aside. If things had gone along as planned, a week from Friday would have been her wedding day. Kelly released a heavy sigh of despair. Two years ago, she’d decided she needed a change, and had relocated to San Antonio, Texas, hoping to begin a new life. It wasn’t long before she had started dating Devin Black, a fifth-grade science teacher. She thought he was everything she had wanted, and was willing to
give him just about everything she had to offer, except for one thing she held dear to her heart. Her virginity.

With the values her mother had instilled in her, Kelly believed that love and sex came hand in hand, and refused to take any relationship to the next level until she was certain she loved the man she was with and they had a future together. After six months of dating, to her delight, Devin had confessed his love and dropped down on one knee in the teacher’s lounge in front of half the staff and proposed. Tears flooded her eyes as Kelly nodded her head and happily accepted. It was barely two weeks later when she decided that maybe it was time to move their relationship to the next level. She loved Devin enough to give him the greatest gift of all.

She had stayed late grading papers, and knew Devin was still somewhere in the building. Eager to share her news, Kelly had gone in search of him to invite him away for a weekend of passion. Not finding him in his classroom, she’d walked down to the teacher’s lounge and found him in a compromising position with the art instructor.

Devastated, Kelly had finished out the end of the school year, then handed in her resignation and returned home. She vowed that never again would she give her heart to a man for him to stomp on. Devin had been the second man she had ever loved and the second to break her heart. She had been a fool one time too many.

Diamere didn’t mean to break your heart
.

Shaking her head, Kelly tried to free her mind of memories of the weekend. But no matter how much she tried, Diamere always found a way to invade her thoughts. She wasn’t interested in another relationship. However, ever since she’d looked up to see him staring at
her with those intense chocolate-brown eyes, she’d been reminded that she was a woman. It had been four days since Diamere had kissed her, yet her lips tingled each and every time she was foolish enough to remember.

“It’s lunchtime.”

Kelly glanced over at the door as Essence walked into her classroom. She would be teaching a class of fourth-graders, two doors down.

“I guess you’re right,” Kelly replied as she looked up at the clock on the wall. “What do you have a taste for today?”

“How about we go to Clarence’s?”

She nodded eagerly at the suggestion. “That definitely sounds like a winner.” Clarence’s Infamous Chicken and Fish House was a reputable soul food chain known all across the state of Delaware. Rising from her chair, she reached for a small briefcase and started stuffing in papers from her desk. She still had quite a bit to do before the school season began, and had no problem taking work home.

“Have you heard from Diamere?” Essence asked as she waited for her.

Kelly paused long enough to meet Essence’s curious eyes before dropping her gaze again. “No, but I don’t expect to. I told you we’re just friends.”

Her sister-in-law frowned, arms folded across her chest. “Kelly, who are you trying to fool? I hope not me. I was there. I know how crazy you were about Diamere and how devastated you were when he decided to marry Ryan.” Her gaze narrowed. “I thought you wanted him more than anything in the world? Yeah, yeah, I know. Well, guess what? He’s single now and this is your chance.”

Kelly groaned at the reminder. She had once confided in Essence that she had been in love with him since eighth grade, and would do anything for him to notice her as a woman. A lump formed in her throat as she recalled that painful night seven years ago. Diamere had come to her and told her his ex-girlfriend was pregnant, and that he was going to marry her because he didn’t want his child to grow up without a father. Back then Kelly had felt as if the world had come crashing down on her. Even now she could feel the pain as if it had been just yesterday.

She cleared her throat. “That was before Ryan got pregnant and had the twins.” Hearing Essence snort rudely and mumble something under her breath, she looked up. “What?”

Essence pursed her lips. “Those weren’t his kids.”

“What?” she gasped, head spinning with confusion. “Okay, first you tell me Diamere is no longer married. Now you’re saying the twins weren’t his?” When Essence nodded, Kelly paused long enough to shake her head. “Okay, you need to back up and start from the beginning.” Kelly came around and leaned on the edge of her desk. While her friend explained the chain of events, she stood there with her mouth opened, stunned by everything she heard. “Oh, no! How can someone do something like that?” she cried, shaking her head.

“She is someone who only cares about herself.”

Kelly shook her head again, trying to digest what she had just heard. “I can only imagine how he is feeling.”

Shifting her weight, Essence added, “He was devastated about losing the girls. They meant everything to him. Every time he called the house he had something new to tell us. As a matter of fact…” she allowed her
voice to trail off as she reached inside her purse and removed her wallet “…here’s a picture he sent us in a Christmas card last year.”

Kelly took the small photo and a smile curled her lips as she stared down at the precious little identical faces. The back read “Tanisha and Nichole, age five.” With such large brown eyes, naturally long lashes and deep dimples, they were going to be heartbreakers.
Just like their mother
, Kelly thought. Because that was exactly what Ryan had done—broken Diamere’s heart. As she handed the photo back, Kelly pressed her lips together bitterly. She got angry just thinking about what that woman had done to him.

“Now that that mess is over, I would love to see the two of you finally get together.”

Kelly gave a dismissive wave. “That’s the past. We’re different people now.”

“Not that different,” Essence insisted. “He’s a good man.”

Kelly had no doubt that he was. But if she were to get involved with Diamere, there would be hard feelings, or even worse, regret. And there was her own issue of not being able to separate her body from her heart, which was why she had managed to stay a virgin all these years.

“He’s a family man.”

Kelly shook her head in objection. “He’s not looking for anything serious.”

Essence tapped her foot impatiently on the tile floor. “No, but then neither are you. So why not enjoy each other’s company?”

With a heavy sigh, Kelly pulled herself up, then moved back behind her desk and finished gathering
her papers. Maybe Essence was right. Maybe it wasn’t too late for them. Maybe the two of them could enjoy each other. This way she could finally close that chapter in her life. But the mere thought of allowing herself to fall under another man’s spell frightened her. She’d made that mistake with Devin and knew where that had gotten her. On the other hand, the thought of giving in to her feelings and sharing her bed with Diamere was tempting, to say the least. Her stomach quivered at the thought of finally making love. Quickly, Kelly dismissed that idea. It was too much. She was probably the oldest living virgin around. Unfortunately, there was no way she could separate her body from her heart. Not when Diamere was involved. Her feelings for him ran too deep. Nevertheless, the thought of never knowing what it could be like between them was enough to drive her insane.

“Maybe,” she heard herself say.

“Maybe?” Essence tossed her hands in the air. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you!”

Kelly chuckled. “He didn’t even ask me for my phone number.”

“Do you really think it’s that hard? All Diamere has to do is pick up the phone and call my house.”

“And is that supposed to make me feel better?” she said with a strangled laugh. “Diamere could reach me if he wanted. And apparently he doesn’t. It’s been four days since he brought me home and he hasn’t tried to call me once.” Unconsciously, each and every time the phone rang, Kelly had half expected it to be him, and was disappointed when it wasn’t. “If he’s interested he would’ve called by now.”

“And what if he doesn’t?”

Their eyes connected before Kelly shrugged. “Then it wasn’t meant to be.”

“So you’re just going to sit back and let some hoochie get her claws in him?” At Kelly’s silence, Essence continued. “I don’t know if you know this or not, but a woman can ask a man out. Come on,” she coaxed.

Immediately, Kelly shook her head. “Not me. I’m old-fashioned.” There was no way she was setting herself up for failure. “If he’s interested in seeing me again, he will call.” Tired of talking about him, she added, “Enough of this, anyway. I’m hungry. Let me grab my purse.” She pulled open her desk drawer and removed a small white designer bag she had been delighted to find on sale last month.

Kelly swung the strap over her shoulder and reached for her briefcase. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I’ll be glad when the summer is over and the school year starts. Four more weeks.”

Essence met her smile and gave a knowing look. “Neither can I.” It was going to be her first year back at Baer Elementary School, as well. When the principal had found out that both of them wanted to return, he didn’t hesitate in giving them positions. As far as Principal Combs was concerned, both women had reputations for being fabulous educators who cared about their students. And their school strived for excellence.

Together they exited the rear of the building, the quickest route out to the parking lot. As she neared her car, Kelly stopped in her tracks when she spied a man leaning against the bumper of her Saturn. Diamere! Her pulse raced at the sight of him. When he spotted them, he straightened and started heading their way, while Kelly felt all kinds of flutters in her stomach.

He waved and Essence returned the gesture. “Hey, Diamere!” she cried, with a little too much emphasis, making Kelly wonder if maybe this was another setup.

“Hello, ladies.” He offered them a warm smile.

Kelly cleared the lump from her throat. “Diamere, what are you doing here?”

He slowed his stride and gave her that warm dimpled grin she had loved for years. “I thought I’d drop by and see if I could possibly take my favorite schoolteacher to lunch.”

Stunned beyond words, Kelly looked to Essence for help. When she finally realized she wasn’t getting any, she found the words to say, “Essence and I were just about to go and eat.”

As if on cue, her sister-in-law reached for her cell phone. “Actually, Mark just texted me and said he’s home early. So I’ll go and have lunch with him. But you two have fun. I’ll call you later.” She waved as she strolled to her car before Kelly had a chance to get a word in.

Great. Just great
.

“You look good,” Diamere told her appreciatively.

“Thanks.” Kelly had no choice but to look at him, and when she did she swayed slightly. Diamere was wearing a pair of jeans shorts that hugged his toned thighs, and an orange polo-style shirt that emphasized his broad chest. She loved a man in orange. On his feet were expensive brown leather sandals.

“So? How about sharing lunch with me?”

Kelly stared into his mesmerizing eyes while contemplating her answer.
You know you want to go
! Of course, that didn’t necessarily mean it was the right decision. So
why in the world wasn’t her body listening? she thought as she felt her traitorous head nodding.

“Good,” he replied, looking more than pleased by her answer. Kelly made no attempt to move, and after a long, awkward moment, Diamere cleared his throat and reached for her briefcase. “I don’t know about you, but it’s hot out here. Come on. Your chariot awaits.”

Diamere loaded Kelly’s briefcase in the trunk of her Saturn, then escorted her over to his SUV. He opened the door and watched while she slipped onto the leather seat and reached for the seat belt. His admiring gaze lingered provocatively. A man who appreciated a good-looking woman, he had no choice but to glance down to her long, shapely legs. They were as toned as the legs of any professional female athlete. Kelly had always been a physically active woman, but he couldn’t help but notice how shapely her thighs and calves were. When she had first stepped out through the double doors of the school, Diamere had sucked in his breath at the sight of her in a peach seersucker dress that stopped well above her knees. With legs like that she could put any girl ten years younger to shame.

Seeing Kelly again was doing a number on him. He couldn’t recall ever wanting a woman so badly. Short. Petite. She was supersexy, but that was only a fraction of her appeal. He was drawn to her energy and her enthusiasm. Kelly had once been the biggest spark in his otherwise gloomy life. And after seeing her on Friday, he’d realized that quality was just as strong as ever. The last few days he had found himself thinking more and more about her, and it always managed to bring a smile to his lips.

Diamere took a long, deep breath, forcing himself to breathe normally and get his emotions under control. He realized what was happening between them and wondered if Kelly realized it, as well. He had a feeling she did when she noticed him staring at her and broke eye contact quickly, looking down at her lap. Luckily for him, she wasn’t quick enough. He saw the contemplative look in her eyes.

Confidently, Diamere took another deep breath. Life had taught him that if you wanted something, then you needed to do everything in your power to get it. If you waited around for it to come to you, you’d never have it. He was a man who believed in getting what he wanted, which was why he had come to take Kelly to lunch.