Before Ryan Was Mine (The Remembrance Trilogy - Prequel) (17 page)

The week of spring break came and though Aaron took Jen to Chicago, I didn’t feel like making the trip. Needless to say, my parents were bummed, but I told them I was using the time to study, and that seemed to placate them well enough.

I used my thumb and first two fingers to rub both of my tired eyes at once. Aside from homework, which was tedious, the weekend had been boring. My mom called on Saturday morning and Julia came over to make dinner. I’d been surprised and slightly annoyed when two other guys from one of her marketing classes showed up just minutes after she had. She didn’t have time to tell me once I’d gotten home, and I was chagrined she hadn’t texted to ask if I minded or to at least let me know in advance. Not that it would have changed anything, and after a few minutes in, I relaxed; making small talk with them and taking turns playing games on the Xbox while Julia prepared the food.

I realized, as I sat in the other room with the two dudes, the one she’d introduced as Ted Watson was following her around with his eyes. He stared at her as if she was the rising sun, his mouth gaping open like a panting dog.

Poor schmuck,
I thought, grunting and grabbing the game control. I let myself get immersed in the game and tried to ignore his obvious obsession. The reason I was pissed off wasn’t because she’d invited them to my place without telling me; it was because they were guys and it wasn’t just going to be her and I. Ted was a total dweeb, and the other, Barry something-or-other, was gay. Julia wouldn’t be interested in the nerdy one, and the other wasn’t interested in her. In fact, it became a private joke between us during dinner. She’d put the baked chicken and mashed potatoes on the table and the two of them were in the living room watching TV while I helped her with the rest of the meal.

I nudged her a little too hard with my shoulder. “Ted wants to be
fed
,” I said, amusement thick in my tone. I could barely keep from laughing my ass off. I didn’t need to elaborate further. Julia knew me well enough to know what I meant.

“Quiet, jackass.” Julia shot me an exasperated look and pushed past me to place the rolls, fresh from the oven, and butter on the table. Her eyebrow shot up as she met my eyes on her way back in my direction.

“What?” I asked incredulously with a small laugh. “He
does
. I bet he’s
never
had a meal. He was shaking and drooling like he had rabies.”

“Be nice. They didn’t have anywhere to go. Both of them were alone for break.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that he’s hot for you, Jules.”

“That works out, then, because Barry about came in his pants when I told him I was making dinner at your place tonight.”

The thought made me wince and I did when Julia poked me in the ribs. “He’s not my type.”

“So what? You’re
his
type,” she almost whispered, a smirk lingering on her face. “He wants your ass. Literally.” She chuckled as she got the salad out of the refrigerator.

“Ha ha,” I retorted and poked her back in a spot I knew was particularly ticklish. She squealed and the lettuce in the bowl she was holding went flying. We both burst out laughing, though trying to keep it quiet so the two in the other room didn’t hear us.

“Stop, Ryan!” Julia squealed, and I had this unnerving urge to hug her.

For the remainder of the evening, every time Ted or Barry would be obvious in their adoration, we’d nudge each other or give each other teasing looks. It was a lot of fun, if I was honest, and later in the evening we made some excuse that we had to be somewhere so both of them would split, and we could hang out and just watch a movie together. It was almost three in the morning when I’d taken her back to her dorm.

When I’d asked her what she was doing tonight, she’d mentioned a party but didn’t ask me to come along. It didn’t feel right. She was going with people I didn’t know. Logically, I argued with myself I didn’t need to be with her constantly, and I shouldn’t expect to be included in everything she did. In fact, I was making an effort to create a little distance between us, so I had no right to get all bent out of shape if she had other things going on. But it felt weird and I didn’t have to like it.

I didn’t want to think about her as much as I did. I’d admitted to myself that I had to hang out with Julia some of the time. To try not to, when it made us both miserable was just asinine, but I struggled to find the balance. What she did when we weren’t together shouldn’t matter to me. I kept hammering it into my brain, again and again. Julia and I were just friends.
Friends. Friends. Friends.
“Ugh!” I huffed.

I inhaled deeply as I pushed my laptop away and slid it back on the desk. I went to the refrigerator and took out the leftover plate Julia had made for me, removed the foil and popped it in the microwave. I didn’t know what the hell to do with myself, so I went back and got a beer, opened it, and took a long pull, leaning up against the counter, waiting for the food to finish heating. It smelled good, and my stomach rumbled, but I found myself wishing that I wasn’t eating all by myself.

Maybe I was more bored than bothered. I stood there plucking my lip as I the thought rambled around in my head. If it was bothering me: I sure as shit didn’t want it to.

I took my plate to the table, pulled some silverware out of the drawer, sat down and pushed the plastic cover off the Tupperware plate filled with leftovers.

My phone screamed at me from its position across the table. I forked up a bite of food and ate it. I managed to hold off grabbing the phone until I’d finished eating, rinsing the plate and silverware and stacking them in the dish drain.

My phone finally in hand, I headed down the short hall to my room. I decided to shower then find something to do and someone to do it with. If nothing else, I could hit a movie. Glancing down the screen was conspicuously lacking a text from Julia.

After I’d showered and dressed in clean jeans and a light blue button-down, my hair still damp but combed, my phone finally jingled and I reached for it. It was from her.

“Did you eat?”

I couldn’t help the small rush I got when I knew she was thinking about me.

“Yes.”

Are you studying hard?

I’m done. Bored.

Oh. Sorry, I’m trying not to distract you.

Is that why you didn’t ask me to go out with you tonight? Being supportive?

That was a reason, at least, and despite all of my debating with myself, I still needed one.

Yes and No. It’s a party at the Sigma Nu house. The only men allowed are the brothers.

Nice way to make the women exclusive, I thought derisively. My fingers flew as I typed out a response. That was Aaron’s frat, and I’d feel a hell of a lot better if he was going to be there. All I could think was that the odds were David Kessler would be there.

Greedy bastards.

Do you wish you’d rushed?

Fuck, no.

I grunted as I typed.

They ban the rest of the male population by not allowing them at their parties, and the women have no choice but to talk to them. That’s weak ass shit.

I wondered what she was thinking.

Are you going out?

Probably.

I knew I’d regret it, but I was going to ask even though I hated myself for it.

Is Kessler there?

Not sure. Ellie and I just got here. Have fun.

Disappointment and frustration filled me.

You, too.

I scrolled through my contacts. Shawn Williams, one of my friends from Organic Chemistry was staying in town over the break, too. Maybe he’d want to meet at Oasis for a beer and some pool. After a quick call, I was on my way out.

*****

The fraternity house was crowded, and music was blasting so loud the walls shook. Students were milling up and down the stairs, most of them carrying one of those plastic bar cups filled with beer; some of them were already falling-down drunk, but most were just having a good time. There was a keg in the backyard, in the basement, and on the main floor.

“Do you want beer?” Ellie was almost yelling so I could hear her above the din. Beer wasn’t my bag but I nodded. If nothing else, I’d just carry it around. My eyes skirted the crowd and I saw David Kessler talking to a few people. They were all around him, gazing at him in rapt attention. His eyes lifted and met mine. He was attractive, no question. His hair was almost black as night and his skin was a warm bronze; he was tall and built, but not overly large. His build reminded me of Ryan.

Quit it!
I chastised myself. “Okay,” I said absently. Dave was disengaging from the group and moving toward me.

Ellie took note and nudged me. “I’ll be right back.”

“Sure,” I managed, just before Dave approached. He was smiling brilliantly, and it reached all the way to his eyes.

“Finally! I’m so happy to see you!” He slid a hand down my back and let it rest on the back of my waist.

“Hey. Looks like the party’s hopping!” I felt awkward. I knew he was interested in me and I wanted to be interested in him, but another set of blue eyes nagged at the back of my mind.

He shrugged. “Not as much as usual. Tons of people are gone for break.”

“Wow! I can’t imagine how it is normally!” I tried hard to make small talk. His light blue eyes roamed over me. I’d worn jeans and a burgundy cashmere sweater, and Ellie and I left our coats in her car.

“Yeah!” he said loudly. “Want a beer?”

“Ellie just went to get us one. She’s my roommate,” I explained, awkwardly.

Dave nodded and shoved the hand not holding his glass in the front pocket of his jeans. He was wearing a Sigma Nu sweatshirt.

“You look great! I’ve been pestering Aaron to give me your number.”

“He didn’t?” I smiled up at him.

“Not yet.”

Ellie came back with two cups of beer and handed one to me. I took a drink and nodded to David. “Thanks, El. Do you know Dave?”

“Yes, we had accounting together. Hi,” she said, and nodded to Dave.

“Hey.”

“Dave!” A skinny guy was calling to him from the stairs. “The beer out back is empty. Help me put the last keg out?”

“Yeah!” He reached out and took my hand. “I’m sorry, duty calls for a minute. I’ll be back later?” His eyebrows shot up. He seemed sincere, and a contradiction from everything Ryan had said.

“Sure.”

“Okay, see you later. Nice to see you, Ellie.”

“Bye!” Ellie said happily. When Dave was on his way up the stairs Ellie, who had been watching him go, turned toward me. “He’s fine, Julia.”

I took another drink of the bitter liquid. They charged a five-dollar cover charge to pay for the kegs, though the beer itself was not the best. I grimaced at the mouthful of beer before I swallowed it. “Yeah. He is.”

“He
is
!” She gave me an incredulous look at my obvious lack of enthusiasm.

I gave a small shrug. “I know.”

“Did you see all those girls sizing you up when he was talking to you? They looked like they wanted to scratch your eyes out.”

I shrugged again. I was used to venomous looks from women. It happened a lot when I was with Ryan. I sighed, inwardly kicking myself again. “Sure. Whatever.”

Ellie rolled her eyes. “What am I going to do with you, Julia?”

“What?”

“The guy is obviously interested and I remember you telling me about him last semester. So, what’s the problem?”

I shook my head and took another sip from my glass. “Nothing. No problem!”

Her eyes shot to the heavens and she shook her head in disbelief. “Okay. It’s stuffy in here. Wanna go out back?”

She’d told me about a guy from her statistics class who was a member of the frat, and I knew she was on the hunt for him. “Sure.”

“Unless you want to wait here for Dave to come back? Which is what you should do, in my opinion.” Her look said I was an idiot if I didn’t jump on the chance to get to know Dave Kessler in a much more thorough way. I should. I knew it, but it didn’t feel right.

“I’m good. Let’s go.” I nodded toward the stairs.

Ellie sighed. “Julia!” Obviously she was disgusted by my lack of enthusiasm, and I could only hope she wouldn’t press me for more of an explanation. She might already know, but I wasn’t going to deny or confirm her suspicions. “Ryan isn’t sitting home tonight, you know.”

Yep, she knew, but I wasn’t going to feed into it. “I know.”

It was a little chilly outside but not horrible with all the bodies crammed together as they were. I could smell marijuana in the air outside, and the music was blaring from a speaker mounted in one of the upstairs bedroom windows.

“Excuse me,” I murmured as I squeezed between two groups of people. I brushed up against a guy to my right, my shoulder brushing his arm. “Sorry,” I glanced up with an apologetic smile. He looked vaguely familiar.

“Hey.” His hand reached out to stop me with a brief touch to my arm. “Julia, right?”

I looked at him, trying to place his face. Ellie stopped next to me. “Yes?”

“I’m Nate. We met that time at Ryan and Aaron’s apartment?”