Before Sunrise (19 page)

“
Liam! Don’t say that to
me!” she rushed to the door and stopped when Liam stepped through
it.

Vasquez put his arms around her. Kennedy
closed her eyes and willed Liam to return and take those words
back. He might as well have struck her, it hurt so badly. Of course
he didn’t. How could she be happy and destroyed all in the same
moment? How could two opposite emotions exist in one heart? She
felt like she was dying.

Vasquez hugged her tighter. “Listen to me.
He’s hurt and confused. But you know he loves you.”

“
He won’t forgive me, I know
him.”

“
Hey?” Vasquez took her
shoulders and made her look him in the eye. “He loves you. And you
love him. He’ll stay with me and Angie, and you work this out with
Phil. Okay?”

Kennedy nodded. But the urge to run
upstairs, grab her child, and flee with Liam burned in her gut.
Without even a look back to Phil, she climbed the stairs in a daze
and returned to her room. As though on autopilot, she went to the
window, wanting to see him. She pulled back the drapes. Liam waited
near the passenger side of the SUV. Vasquez arrived and released
the security system. When Liam opened the door, his eyes went up to
lock with hers. Kennedy stared down at him with regret. He gave her
a weak smile and her heart skipped a beat. Kennedy put two fingers
to her lips and then pressed her kiss for him to the glass. Liam
stared at her for a moment, and at first she believed he saw and
felt nothing. Then he winked and got in the car. Kennedy watched
until they drove off.

“
Kennedy?” Phil
said.

“
Not now. Can you just go
check on Mackenzie? Give me a moment.”

“
We’ll figure this out,
sweetheart.”

Kennedy closed her eyes and didn’t turn to
acknowledge him. She didn’t know much, but if she and Liam could
get past all this hurt, she’d return to him in a heartbeat and
never let him slip from her again.

***

Liam fit his back against the curved seat.
“I fucked up, didn’t I, man?”

“
I told you to play it
cool.”

Liam gave a bitter chuckle. “I swear, man, I
wanted to grab her and throw her over my shoulder. I should have
dragged her out of there.”

“
And played into his hands.
Yeah, that would have been smart,” Vasquez mumbled.

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose. “You
can’t begin to understand how much restraint I used.”

“
I’m about to tell you
something you don’t want to hear, bro, but I got to say
it.”

Liam remembered Alexa’s warning in that
instant. He was so caught up in his own emotions he didn’t even
consider the safety of his family. “Fuck. I forgot! Turn
around.”

“
Huh?”

“
Take me back. I heard you
and Alexa last night. I need to make sure they’re okay.”

“
We’re protecting them,
Liam.”

“
You have no idea what
Sarkhir is capable of.”

“
We got it under control.
The house is under protective order. Trust me.”

Liam sucked in a tight breath.

“
Besides, that’s not what I
was going to say,” sighed Vasquez.

“
Okay.”

“
What I wanted to say is
that…well, I think you need to see someone.”

“
I don’t need a fucking
shrink. I need my wife.”

“
You’ll have her. Did you
see the way she responded to you? She’s just confused. She thinks
she betrayed you. The thing is, you went for her jugular first. You
wasted your reunion on screaming accusations. Hurting her. Now I
know we can be jackasses, it’s part of our training, but the Liam I
knew would have never done to Kennedy what I saw you do in there.
You used her guilt against her, and I gotta say it, man, it looks
like you did it on purpose. Like you planned it that
way.”

Liam cut his eyes to the window. What could
he say? That he resented Kennedy, blamed her in some way? The trust
they shared had gone. Once, she’d made him believe in them. Now he
believed in nothing. He shook his head. He was right back to where
he started, before she ever bounced up to him on a beach and gave
him her heart.

“
I don’t get it. How she
could possibly be with another man, and if it is possible, why that
man? Maybe I wanted to hurt her, but I swear, if she had corrected
that shit and just come with me, I’d forgive anything. I swear it.
For me, there is no confusion. Either she loves me or she doesn’t.
How could she stay under the same roof with him knowing I’m alive?
How?”

“
It’s not him, Liam. She has
Mac to think about. You gave her no warning. She needs a minute for
it to sink in. If we had done it the way I suggested and had her
come to you instead of this, it might have worked out
differently.”

“
I need you to take me to
the Marriott. I’ll get the clothes we brought for me and then I
want to check in.”

Vasquez looked over at him, confused. “What?
Why? You can stay with us.”

“
I need to have a place for
me. I want to get to know my kid. That’s what I’ll focus on. I need
a place to bring her until I get my life back on track. Does that
make sense?”

“
Yeah, bro, it makes sense.
Perfect sense, but I have a better idea. I’ll get a house issued to
you. We have a couple on base that are empty.”

“
That’ll take time. I need a
place now. Drop me off at the Marriott.”

***

Phil returned. Kennedy could sense his
approach. In the dark, silent room she sat on the bed with her face
in her hands. She couldn’t even bring herself to check on her
daughter. The moment Tony had pulled out of the driveway, she’d
longed to see Liam’s face, to hear his voice again, even if it was
only anger between them. For five years, she’d dreamed of their
reunion, thought it would only happen in Heaven, and now, she’d
sent him away?

“
Here, sweetheart. Drink
this.”

Kennedy accepted the wine gratefully. Her
throat was soothed by the cool liquid. She looked up at Phil, who
stared at her expectantly.

“
Thank you.” She passed him
the glass.

He nodded. “Are you okay?”

“
I have a question.” She
rose awkwardly.

“
Anything, love.”

“
Did you know?” Kennedy
turned and faced him. “Did you know he was alive?”

“
Of course not.”

“
Don’t lie to me on this,
Phil. Don’t.”

“
I swear it on our baby’s
life I didn’t know.”

Kennedy cut her eyes away. The mention of a
baby rendered her speechless. She didn’t know if he meant
Mackenzie, or…it wasn’t possible.

“
I don’t know where he’s
been, but it wasn’t reported to any of us. I was just as surprised
as you. I know this must be confusing.”

“
He’s my
husband.”

“
Not legally. According to
the law, he’s dead.”

Kennedy gave a bitter laugh. “Well, he can
easily disprove that.”

“
What I’m saying is that we
can contest this. That we have options.”

“
I don’t want to contest
it.” She walked away, keeping distance between them.

“
Kennedy, hear me out. I
know you loved him and it’s not a love you can easily
forget.”

Kennedy hugged herself, keeping her gaze
trained on her bare feet. “Do you think he’s okay?”

“
I know you are
confused—”

“
Maybe I should call him to
make sure?”

“
You did the right thing in
sending him away.”

“
I’ll call him and talk it
over. Maybe he can listen to me now—”

“
Kennedy?”

She lifted her head and when she looked at
the man she’d called husband for almost a year, she felt nothing.
It was horrible, but Angelina had been right. Her sister Harper had
been right. Phil was no more than a placeholder in her heart. She
had used him. What kind of terrible person did that make her?

“
I still love him,” she
confessed.

“
Of course you do. That
doesn’t mean that our love is a lie. That what we built is a
lie.”

“
Yes it does,” she said
sadly.

“
No. It does not. You and I
fell in love. This thing between us didn’t come from nowhere. It
came from friendship, from respect. We fell in love.”

“
You were there for me,” she
admitted.

“
I was. For it all. From the
first day until today. I was. I was here through your depression
and I held Mackenzie while you cried yourself to sleep for the
first year of her life. Remember? I listened when you mourned him
the second year. I helped you fight against your anger over your
loss the third year and then you healed. Remember honey? Remember
the night you told me that you loved me too?” he asked, walking to
her.

Kennedy began to cry again. “Don’t push me.
Don’t do this.”

“
I’m not pushing. I’m
pleading my case. You have to work out what’s best for you and Mac.
He’s been gone and tortured for years, and of course you feel
guilty. I understand that. But you saw his reaction. You saw him.
The man has anger issues, Kay. Do you trust him with
Mac?”

“
What? He would never hurt
her. Don’t go there.” She went around him, again to put distance
between them. She felt such guilt when he stood near her. But Phil
would not be denied. He grabbed her arm.

“
Promise me this. Promise me
you will give our marriage and commitment serious consideration
before you make any decisions.”

“
I love him. Phil, you know
me, look at us. It’s Liam. Let’s not pretend that he hasn’t been
between us from the beginning. I’m in love with him. I have been
since I was barely seventeen. I should have never brought you into
this. You were a kind, generous man, and I took advantage of your
feelings for me.”

“
That’s bullshit. This
wasn’t some pity arrangement. This was a marriage in every way. I
don’t feel slighted. The problem is you feel guilt and you’re
confusing it with some puppy love. People change. They outgrow each
other—”

“
No.”

“
Yes! You can’t see past
what he’s been through. I’m sorry for what happened to him. I’m
sorry that things worked out this way. But that doesn’t invalidate
our feelings. What we share.”

“
I think it
does.”

“
And if you’re carrying my
baby? Then I guess my kid is a mistake, too?”

His words were sharp slap across her face.
God couldn’t be this cruel. She and Liam didn’t deserve this kind
of cruelty. If she were carrying Phil’s child she would lose Liam
all over again. He’d never take her back. Silently, she prayed for
one more miracle. Phil read meaning into her silence. The look of
pain on his face cut her to her core. “I’m not pregnant.”

“
You don’t know that. How
will Liam react?”

“
This is a mess. I’ve made
such a mess of things.”

“
No you didn’t. You loved
him, and now you love me,” Phil said with forced
confidence.

Kennedy lifted her eyes to his. Aside from
her father, she’d only ever loved one man: the man she’d let walk
out of the door.

***

Despite the curtains in the front room, both
Vasquez and Liam could see Angelina’s shadow pace back and forth in
the front window to the Vasquez home. When Liam stepped through the
door, she stopped, eyes wide and expectant.

“
How is she?”

“
She’s with him, that’s how
she is,” Liam said bitterly. He headed for the stairs. He had one
goal. Solitude, to round out the night.

Angelina looked after him and then to her
husband. “What are you saying? She chose Phil?”

Vasquez shook his head. “No, it just got
ugly and Liam pushed too hard, too fast. When it settles and the
tears dry, she will come to him.”

“
I’m going to call her.”
Angelina turned in search for her phone.

“
Angie, don’t. Kennedy’s in
shock. She’s punishing herself. Don’t call over there now. Give her
some room.”

“
Nonsense. I’m her best
friend. If I was dumb enough to not be with you after you returned
as a POW for five years I would expect her to call me and talk some
sense into my head. I can reach her. Hell, I know her. She doesn’t
love Phil, she barely wants to—” Angelina froze. Her husband
narrowed his eyes on her and she tried to cover the slip. It hit
her hard. The past two months, Kennedy had been trying to get
pregnant. What if she had succeeded?

“
She barely wants to what?”
Vasquez asked.

“
I don’t know. Um, the baby
kicked.”

He walked over and put his hand on her
belly. Angelina pressed on her left side to make the baby kick. The
action distracted her husband while she processed everything.
Vasquez leaned over and began to whisper to her belly in Spanish.
She stroked his head and stared up at the ceiling, as though she
could see Liam through the floorboards.

“
What is Phil doing? Is he
there with her?” she asked her husband.

Vasquez pulled her into his arms and kissed
her long and passionately. Angelina was swept away. She blinked up
at him, dazed. “What was that for?”