Before Sunrise (59 page)

“
When he comes back you keep
your mouth shut.” She walked out.

She decided to call Phil and tell him to not
come for dinner. It was best he wait to join them Christmas day.
She was doing her very best to manage the drama, and so far she was
failing.

***

“
Where we going, man?” Eric
dropped the seat back further and pulled his cap down over his
brow. Liam eased his foot off the gas. The roads were slick with
black ice. He could feel Maxine’s wheels lock and the car glide
every few miles. They passed empty parking lots of grocery stores
and mini-marts.

“
Nowhere. This was a bad
idea. Everything’s closed. You could’ve hung back. I just needed
air.” He cut his eyes over.
Was Eric lying
to him about ending things with Harper?
He
and his friend didn’t deal in lies, but he couldn’t help but
wonder. He told many lies in order to have Kennedy.

“
Roadhouse is open. We can
grab a beer there.” Eric shrugged.

“
You cool with
that?”

“
I don’t care. I’m just glad
my ass isn’t stuck somewhere with a hotel menu.”

“
Yeah, I can understand
that.” Liam made the next turn. The Roadhouse wasn’t far. A few
lights ahead. He knew servicemen without families to go home to
would pile inside and commiserate through the holidays. It was
almost blasphemous for him to do the same. Leaving Kay and his
little girl patiently waiting for him to step up and be the father
and husband they deserved. He wasn’t ungrateful, or unappreciative.
He really did love the idea of spending Christmas with Mackenzie.
But he hated hurting her, losing his cool. He couldn’t trust
himself. The thought occurred once again that he should man up and
turn the car around. Liam blew out a deep breath. “I’m driving her
crazy, Eric. She pretends it’s okay, but I keep letting her
down.”

“
You aren’t letting her
down, bro. You’re adjusting.”

“
Yeah well, so is she. I
came back and turned her life inside out. I need to do something
for her, something to let her know I appreciate her. She deserves a
break from all my bullshit.”

“
It’s Christmas. You buy her
something?”

“
Yeah, I did.” Liam smiled.
He parked next to a line of motorcycles. “Wait, who is this? The
Devil’s Angels? The Bobcats?”

Eric scoffed. “Nah, probably the Dark
Riders. They’ve moved in from Virginia. Been stirring up trouble
since they arrived. Fuck it. When was the last time we mixed it
up?”

Liam shook his head. “I can’t get into a bar
fight, man. I’m not a hundred percent, remember? Besides, you’re up
for an appointment.”

Eric shrugged. “Won’t be any trouble. We can
just get some beers, shoot some pool, then leave. You game?”

Liam thought of Kennedy at home, waiting for
him. The right thing to do would be to turn around and go back to
Phil’s damned house and suffer through it. If he had any balls, he
would. He stared at the front of the bar. A biker came crashing
through the door, laughing, talking on his cell phone. Why was it
Roadhouse felt more welcoming than his wife’s home?

“
You in?” Eric
asked.

“
Yeah. Let’s do
it.”

***

“
So where is he?” Gail
asked.

“
Not now, mama.” Kennedy
spread the thick cream cheese frosting over the top layer of the
cake. She’d stashed the carved candy Disney princess in the fridge,
ready to go on the top. Angie called and said she’d found the
perfect candles to put around it. “Where’s Mackenzie?”

“
Sally has her, but who
knows for how long.”

“
I’m almost done,” Kennedy
muttered.

“
It’s Christmas Eve. Where
is he?” Her mother pressed on.

She sighed. “Will you ever cut him some
slack?”

“
I beg your
pardon?”

“
You heard me, mama. You
barely said two words to him during breakfast. You keep needling me
every chance you get about Phil being excluded, and now Liam’s gone
and you want to complain about that, too?”

“
I just, I only
meant—”

“
Stop it, okay. Stop it now
or pack up and just go.” Kennedy tossed the knife in the
sink.

Her mother blinked away her hurt. She opened
her mouth to say something else and Kennedy was ready for it. Gail
removed her apron, dropped it on the countertop and promptly walked
out. Alone, Kennedy exhaled a sad sigh. Dinner would be ready in an
hour. Where could Liam and Eric have gone? When the phone rang, her
head was so clouded with her own fears and doubts she didn’t think
she had the strength to answer. Eventually she reached for it.
“Hello?”

“
I got your message,” Phil
said dryly.

“
Oh, hi. Thanks for calling
me back.”

“
Why didn’t you return my
call?” Phil snapped.

“
What?”

“
Don’t tell me, your
precious Liam didn’t bother to tell you I’ve been trying to reach
you? Why am I not surprised?”

“
Phil—”

“
We need to talk, Kennedy.
I’ve had it. I swear I was going to try it your way. Not because I
agreed with you, but because I love you. I’d do anything for you.
But you don’t care, you never cared, and now my kid is at risk. No
more games.”

“
Where is this coming from?
Kid? What games am I playing?” Kennedy walked away from the front
of the kitchen, closer to the fridge. She lowered her voice. “Today
isn’t the day for this, damn it. I think you should come tomorrow
afternoon for Christmas dinner, to wish Mac a happy birthday. I
won’t have you over here acting like this.”

“
You won’t have me?
It’s
my
fucking
house!”

“
Fine! Would you like us out
of it?”

The phone went silent. Kennedy shook her
head. “Can we put all of our problems aside for Christmas? Whatever
it is that has you this angry, can it wait another day? If not for
me, for your daughter?”

“
So she’s mine
now?”

“
You know what I mean. She’s
your step-daughter, and she loves you. Mac needs us to be grown-ups
and work this out.”

“
I’m bringing a date to
Christmas dinner.”

“
A date?” Kennedy
frowned.

“
You have a problem with
that?”

She closed her eyes. “Maybe you shouldn’t
come. I don’t want any drama.”

“
There won’t be. I figure if
you can move on so quickly, so should I.” He hung up on
her.

Kennedy rolled her eyes.
When did things between her and Phil take a turn for the worse?
There was no baby, they’d talked, they’d agreed to be civil. She
thought at the very least they understood each other. Now he was
angry because Liam didn’t tell her about a phone call. And he
was
dating
? It
made no sense.

“
Everything okay,
sweetheart?” Andrew asked.

Kennedy turned and looked to her father. “I
think I’m losing my mind, daddy.”

Andrew chuckled. “Nonsense.”

“
I don’t know what I’m doing
half the time. She turned and looked at her daughter’s cake. One
minute I’m so happy I can’t take it and the next minute I’m so damn
angry I want to scream. And Liam? I want to tell him to snap out of
it. That it’s time to get over his insecurities and be my husband
again. Not doubt me or run away when things get uncomfortable. But
that’s wrong and selfish, right? So I try to make it better by
being nice, sweet, loving, and holding my tongue. When it’s not
fair to either of us. I lost him, daddy. I was in hell, too. Not
like what he went through, of course, but still. I couldn’t get out
of bed without medicating myself. I couldn’t hold my baby for a
year without crying. I need him here, dammit, because I’m so
scared…I can’t lose him again. I won’t survive it.” Kennedy choked
down her tears. “But if I say that then I’m putting too much
pressure on him. I can’t keep this up.”

Andrew touched his daughter’s back. She hung
her head and shook it sadly. “He should be here. I don’t care if it
makes him uncomfortable. It’s our Christmas Eve and he walked out.
I’m mad at him.”

“
Tell him. Be honest with
him.”

“
I can’t.”

“
Kennedy, look at
me.”

She turned and looked at her father. She
always loved his eyes. They were so kind and understanding. Even
when she hurt him, she could see forgiveness, not judgment in their
depths. There was no one as loving as her daddy.

“
You can’t fix Liam. You
can’t erase what he’s been through, but you can’t treat him any
different than you did before he left. You have to be honest with
him. Okay?”

“
I don’t want to fight with
him. I just want to love him.”

Andrew nodded. “Liam’s a tough guy. I think
he can handle some honesty. Especially from you.”

“
Maybe he could, but my need
to protect him, even from my feelings, is so strong. It’s
instinctive, daddy.”

“
Honesty is the only way,
kiddo. Try it.”

She smiled. “Thanks for listening.”

“
No problem. Now what about
this cake? What can I do?”

Kennedy laughed, remembering how much of a
disaster her father was in the kitchen. He and Liam were the same
on that score. “Nothing. Go keep mama busy. I’ll finish in
here.”

Andrew kissed her forehead and left. Kennedy
stared at the cake. She lifted her eyes to the kitchen clock. Liam
should be back soon. After dinner they would talk. She would
try.

***

“
Scratch!” Eric
called.

“
To hell with that. I made
that shot.”

Eric shook his head. Liam smirked. He pulled
out his wallet and tossed another twenty on the table. “At this
rate I’ll have to take out a second mortgage on your place to break
even.”

“
Just pay up.”

Liam was on his fourth beer. He had that
numb, careless feeling all through his bones. The game of pool had
begun less than an hour ago. They’d spent most of their time at the
bar drinking and laughing with enlisted men from the base. Time
just crept away from them. He knew they should end things and head
back. Dinner would be served soon.

“
Need to ask you a
question,” Liam said.

“
Go ’head.”

“
Harper.”

Eric stood erect. He met Liam’s gaze dead
on. “What about her?”

“
You still seeing her,
aren’t you?”

“
I’m working it out. Trying
not to hurt her. We’re close man, really good friends.”

Liam gave a bitter smile. He threw his pool
stick on the felt. “Bullshit. Who do you think you’re dealing with?
Trust me, I know what it is between you two, why you can’t back
off. I just thought you’d have a little more self-control.”

Eric leaned in on his pool stick. He cast
his gaze to the balls instead of Liam when he spoke. “I’m a prick.
But I got to be honest, man. It’s not sex. I really do…care for
her.” He returned to his gaze to Liam. “You of all people should
feel what I’m saying.”

“
This will kill her folks.
They can barely get over Kay and me. You’re my friend, hell, my
only friend besides Vasquez. Do you know what they will think? Kay
and I got enough to deal with. Just leave her alone. Let her grow
up and find her own way. Trust me, you’ll end up hurting
her.”

“
We talking about me or
you?”

“
Tell me the difference,”
Liam shot back.

Eric nodded. “I’ll end it. I swear. I’ll do
it. But you got to hear me on this, man. I care for her, a lot.
Fucked up or not, my feelings are in it. I never meant for it to go
down like this. Aww hell, I’ll just screw it up. You’re right.”

Liam tried to gauge if Eric was being
truthful. He knew his friend would never use Harper or hurt her
intentionally. But he also knew his friend lacked the desire to
make something meaningful last with a woman, any woman. It was how
he was wired, and during their roughneck days in the field it was
okay. The lack of attachment to another person had made him
fearless. Now they were men in a different time and Eric very well
may want to have what he has with Kay. Liam could respect that,
welcomed it for his buddy. But why did it have to be Harper? Liam
held out little hope that Harper would make it easy for him. Not if
she was anything like Kay. That meant eventually Andrew would see
another one of his daughters corrupted too soon.

“
Thanks, man,” Liam extended
his hand. Eric smirked. He slapped it away and gave him a brotherly
hug.

“
How long you two fags
gonna’ fucking stand there and hold each other’s dicks?”

A roar of laughter escaped a rambunctious
crowd of inebriated bikers. Liam zeroed in on the men. One in
particular sneered back. His face was covered in reddish-brown hair
from his bushy eyebrows to his matted beard.

“
I said it, motherfucker,”
the biker snarled.

Eric stepped forward. He stood between Liam
and a table of six. “Since you asked so nicely, friend, you can sit
through another one. Rack ’em, Liam.”

The bearded biker stood. So did his crew.
Liam groaned. “Let it go, Eric.” He pulled on Eric’s sleeve. “I’m
done. Need to get back to Kay and Mac. Screw this.”