Before the Darkness (Refuge Inc.) (7 page)

"Even after they abandoned me, I still

waited, hoping the next time I would get an

invitation. Later, when Sammy was helping me

and Jeff pack our stuff to move to Phoenix, I

found out there were other parties."

"That's—"

"Fucked. I know. And yet, I wish I never

would've left." Elliot turned his head and met

Adam's gaze. "I wonder if they missed me as

much as I missed them."

Adam didn't know what to say. He

dropped his gaze. How upsetting that must have

been to have a family that excluded him and

made him feel like he didn't matter, like he

wasn't important to them, to betray him, as Elliot

put it. Somewhere inside, his heartache for Elliot

was brie ly eclipsed by the awe he had for him

to stand up for himself. Even if Elliot felt his

brother was the favored son, Elliot had spoken

up about the unfairness between them

regardless of the consequences. If only Adam

was brave enough to confront his own demons.

He sighed as an invisible vise clenched and

churned his innards. The least he could do was

share
something
about himself. But he wouldn't

go too deep. He wasn't ready to go too deep.

"I don't have any brothers or sisters."

Adam said. "My father died at ifty when I was

still a kid, lung cancer. My mom was young, her

early thirties when he died. Still young and

stupid she got into drugs and ran off with a

boyfriend a few years later. I ended up living

alone until I inally graduated high school. Then

later, at twenty-one, I took a job at The Rodeo as

a bartender." There, that should do it. He

inhaled and tasted dust, exhaled and felt relief.

That wasn't too bad. He didn't go deep at all.

"You were a bartender too? Where did

you learn to tend bar?"

"Learned on the job. They only hired me

'cause the club manager wanted some 'hunky

guys' out front to bring in the ladies and the

bucks. They hired me only because I promised

to be a dancer for them when I learned a thing

or two. I met Jena there the year I started

bartending. She and her girlfriend were

regulars. Less than a couple weeks later we

were dating and about a year after that I started

dancing."

"Did you like dancing?" An innocent smile

curled Elliot's bruised lip.

The thought of helping Elliot's bruise heal

with a soft, wet kiss made Adam lick his own dry

lips. Then he looked away, tearing the image

from his mind. "It was okay."

Over the next few minutes of silence,

Adam's mind wandered, remembering the feel

of Elliot's hard body on his wet skin. The way

they moved in unison, rubbing their hard, slick

cocks together. Allowing the power of their

orgasm to pull them from their harsh realities

and transport them into heavenly bliss. If only

for a brief moment, it felt so . . . good.

"Do you hear that?" Elliot paused. "I

heard footsteps."

Adam paused and listened, looking in the

direction of the flashlight beam.

A shadow ran by. Elliot swept the light

across the dusty trail, following the shadow and

lighting up a fallen concrete wall that used to

serve as a divider between homes. Then the

bark gave it away.

"Damn dog is back," Adam whispered.

"Hand me the light." If the damned thing decided

to attack he would use the long, heavy, metal

lashlight as a weapon. Elliot gave him the

flashlight and the dog growled, peeking out from

behind the collapsed concrete divider. Adam

braced himself. "Get somewhere safe," he said,

while keeping the light glued to the dog.

"Where am I supposed to go?" Elliot said

quietly.

But before Adam could answer, the dog

came rushing forward. He lifted the lashlight,

ready to strike, but the dog stopped a few feet

ahead of him. Adam shined the light on it again.

"Get!" he yelled but the bleeding dog didn't

budge. He stepped forward and the dog moved

backward. "Go on. Get going!" The dog

whimpered, turned as if it was gonna leave but

made a full circle and cocked his head and

stared at Elliot. Then he sat down and licked at

the wound on its hind leg.

"It's scared." Adam said, relaxing. "It

doesn't want to hurt us, it's just being

defensive." He looked to Elliot, seeing a half-

eaten granola bar in his hand. "Try giving it a

piece of that."

Elliot raised his hand, staring at the bar.

"I forgot I even had this." He broke off a piece

and threw it in the dog's direction where it

landed on the ground near it. The dog stood,

sniffed at the granola bar and devoured it.

"Knew it. He's harmless," Adam said.

Elliot broke the rest of his bar into bite

sized pieces and tossed them beside the dog.

"Let's go."

They continued walking along the

isolated path, carefully making their way over

and through rubble, abandoned vehicles and

fallen trees guided by the lashlight. Adam

glanced over his shoulder at the rustling behind

them. The dog followed them closely. Its head

hung low and its dark eyes looked up at them

like a hopeless, begging child in need. It was

pathetic how much the mutt tugged at his

heartstrings. He was pathetic to allow it. "The

damn thing's following us."

Elliot turned to look behind him and then

swiveled to look ahead again. "It probably wants

some more food."

"Too bad." Adam pivoted, lashing the

light on the dog and lighting up its dirty brown

coat of fur. "Get, dog." He stomped his foot. "Get

the hell outta here." It whined and scurried

away behind what was left of someone's home.

They barely had enough food for themselves,

they had to ration it the best they could. He sure

didn't have enough granola bars to feed three

mouths let alone his and Elliot's.

He sighed at the realization. "We're

gonna need more food and water."

Elliot pointed toward the south. "Food

Plus is that way."

Adam could only make out the

silhouettes of buildings far in the distance. They

were nothing more than dark, odd shaped

remnants of structures that used to be twice

their size, and lit up with streetlights and

glowing signs.

"Do you remember if there's one that

way?" He didn't want to stray from the plan,

walking west. He wasn't sure where he was

going but it seemed to be the logical thing to do.

If angry, menacing darkness was approaching

from the east, escape them by traveling west. It

made sense.

"There's a gas station up here." Elliot

nodded excitedly, and then shook his head. "No

wait, that's on Roosevelt and Main. Damn it."

Adam paused, thinking. "If we head to

Food Plus it'll take us another thirty minutes or

so to get there."

"We could do it. Don’t worry about my

bum leg."

"It's not your leg I'm worried about. We'd

have to climb over and through all this junk and

who knows how long that'll take. It'll take

forever to get back on track." Adam looked

around, pointing the light as far as it would go to

the west.

"Let's go to Food Plus and stock up on

food and water. Who knows, maybe we can take

shelter there too."

"I wanna stay on track. We walk west

until we run into…something."

"Something?" Elliot dipped his brows.

"You mean someone. You really don't think

everyone's dead, huh?" The way Elliot looked at

him, scrutinizing with his eyes, doubting, and

judging made Adam a bit defensive. An uneasy

energy surged between them. Elliot was onto

him, he knew he was playing a role; the role of a

macho man that everyone, including his iancée

expected him to be.

Instead of answering, Adam ignored the

question. "Let's just keep walking."

"No, answer me." Elliot tugged his

shoulder, forcing Adam to turn and stare at him.

Challenging him to come clean. "You don't really

believe everyone's dead, do you?"

"What does it matter what I think?" His

voice raised an octave, stunning Elliot and

making him take a step back.

"I'm using both of our heads to make the

best decisions. You're the one who saw a news

report about this stuff. I trusted you. If you think

there are people still alive maybe we should ind

them."

Of course, everyone always counted on

Adam to know what's best, and when he failed

they blamed him. "
I'm
the one using both of our

heads. You asked me what the plan was and I

told you. I didn't ask you to trust me. I'm looking

out for myself and you should do the same."

Elliot backed down, voice lowering. "I

thought we were in this together. Two heads are

better than one."

"Look, I'm doing the best I can. I told you,

I'm not the hero you think I am." Adam had to

stop there. He couldn't go too deep. He

shrugged, looking into Elliot's hurt brown eyes.

His stomach ached. He wished he had the balls

to cradle Elliot's face in his palms and brush

apologetic kisses from one corner of his lips to

the other, but he had to think about his survival

and consider his iancée. Lusting after Elliot was

doing him no good. It was making him take a

step back, back to a place he didn't want to be.

"Look, I—"

"What was that?" Elliot stood still, looking

around with his big brown eyes.

"Huh?"

"Did you feel that?"

At that exact moment the earth beneath

Adam's feet began to shake. "An earthquake."

"Another one? Shit."

The vacant vehicles on the littered road

began to sway as the rocking got stronger.

Chunks of concrete and brick fell from what was

left of some of the buildings, and far in the

distance the screeching sound of heavy, hot

steel twisting and bending cut through the air.

Then like a bomb detonating, the sound of a

building collapsing tore through the night

behind them. Then unexpectedly, like a thief

caught red-handed, the trembling stopped.

"What was that?" Elliot asked. "You think

it was an aftershock."

"Maybe, let's keep moving."

A pained yelp cut through the silence,

sending a cold chill down Adam's spine. He

turned around facing where the sound was

coming from. Again, an agonizing howl tore

through the silence.

Elliot brought his hand up to his wide

mouth. "Oh, no. Something's happened to that

dog."

They stood silently, listening for proof

that the dog was in trouble. When the squealing

cry sounded again, Adam hastily made his way

to the crying where whining and whimpering

noises came from under a pile of wood and

rubble. "It's trapped in there." He sat his pack

and the lashlight down, angling the light to

illuminate the massive heap of concrete ruins,

and then he began lifting and throwing huge

blocks off of the pile. Elliot joined him, picking

up and clearing away as much debris as they

could.

They cleared as much as they could

manage. The only thing left standing in their way

was a big, solid slab of concrete. When Adam

lifted one end of the heavy slab it teetered. The

back end lowered allowing him to lift his end

only about a foot high.

"Crawl in there and tell me if you see it,"

he said through clenched teeth as he bore the

immense weight of the slab.

Elliot grabbed the lashlight and shined it

in the space under the debris. "I don't see

anything. Hold on."

Adam heard the heavy clunking as Elliot

moved away some more blocks. "This is really

heavy," he warned, hoping Elliot would hurry.

He couldn't hold it for long.

Elliot crawled nearly halfway inside. "Oh,

I see it!"

"Grab it."

"I can't. I think it's stuck."