Before You Leave: A Romance Novel (6 page)

“Pablo, this beautiful lady is looking for a drink.” The nearest gentleman calls over the counter.

“Gracias,” I say speaking about the only Spanish I know.

Giving my order for another lemonade the man with the receding hair turns on his stool to face me.

“You waiting for your love?”

“No just for my friends, they’ve gone shopping.”

“And pretty lady like you not want to shop?”

“I...well no, I prefer to stay in the cool and read.”

“You must go and buy lace and jewels. All ladies love jewels.”

“Not this lady, only books.”

“Oh I see.”

“Leave her be,” Pablo places the tall glass on the counter as I pass him the money.

“Thank you, I’m just going to have this and wait. I am sure they won’t be much longer.”

“No stay here with us. You sit.”

The man hobbles off his stall and offers it to me. Not wanting to be rude again I sit and take a sip letting the cold cool my throat.

“Thank you kindly.”

“You on holiday?” the first man asks me and I nod. “Where you staying?”

“The apartments overlooking the sea, I think it is called Los Amantes.” I reply.

The three men look at each other at the same time and Pablo raises his eyebrows.

“Is there something wrong with staying there?” I ask not sure if the girls have landed me in an unsavoury place.

“No, no you will be fine there. Lovely place.” Pablo answers.

“It is a sad story, a family that died before it began.” The nearest man lowers his head as he speaks. “It was bought out of the loss of one’s youth.”

“Oh, that is sad. I hope the owner finds a happy ending.”

“We will see. He is a good man.”

Behind me the bell rings on the door and we all turn to see who has walked in.

“There you are, we have been in every cafe along this row looking for you.”

With arms full of bags Sarah’s face is a glow of colour.

“Do you want a drink? I’m just finishing off mine.” I ask Sarah as she looks parched with her hair damp on her face.

“No, no I’m unable to. Abi is outside waiting, she said don’t be long or she will go ahead without us.”

“Oh ok, I’ll just finish this and be right outside.”

Sarah turns and waddles out of the door squeezing through sideward.

I tip back the glass to empty the last drop. Over the brim I can see the men watch with empathy written all over their faces. A look that didn’t go unnoticed, a look I had seen a hundred times before.

Our walk back to the apartment consisted of Abigail complaining about her new wedged shoes she brought with her, making her feet sore. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her to shut up about them, who takes new shoes on holiday anyway? But I don’t. Feeling tired from my first day out and having to be sociable, I spend the journey back yawning and trailing far behind them both. Sarah keeps looking behind at me, rolling her eyes every time Abigail lets out another moan. I smile my usual strained smile but still keep my distance, glad to be this far back from her whining.

By the time I reach the apartment Abigail has her shoes well and truly kicked off, leaving them where she discarded them on the way in. I trip over one as I enter, left by the door. The only thing to stop me from falling is the wall. Abigail watches from the sofa, not offering any help at all. I don’t have the energy to say anything to her and just kick the shoe to the side of the room. I have no idea what I have done to upset her; I hope this isn’t about the shower this morning still.

Sarah walks out from the kitchen with a glass of water, the ice bopping on the surface.

“I don’t know about you two but I am seriously tired. Do you mind if I disappear into my bedroom for a quick shut-eye?” She asks, stretching her torso and one arm up as far as she can reach.

“No, no go. It’s been a busy morning and all that shopping would tire anyone.” I say to her, keeping my fingers crossed that Abigail will do the same.

“You’re a gem, Jules. Hope you didn’t mind us taking off shopping today?”

“Not at all, I took a book with me and spent my time reading. The morning went very fast. I hope you both had a good day shopping.”

“We did, didn’t we Sarah?” Abigail cuts in.

Sarah mumbles something under her breath towards Abigail but Abigail shrugs her shoulders back to her, probably too far away to hear what she is saying clearly. I watch while the two have silent communication with their eyes. Any other time I would have found it amusing but right now I don’t really care what they are trying to hide from me and walk pass Sarah towards the kitchen. Sarah follows behind me, “It wasn’t that much fun without you.” She tells me in her hushed tones.

“It’s okay Sarah, I really don’t mind you enjoying your time shopping.”

“I’m glad you managed to read your book, I promise not to leave you that long again on your own. I wanted to come back sooner but Abigail insisted on visiting more shops. I never realised how many this area had. I really thought we would only be an hour or two.”

“Sarah please stop worrying. I was fine by myself.”

“Okay, I really hope so. I’ll see you in a few hours after I catch up on my beauty sleep.”

“Sleep well Sarah” I say as I give her a reassuring hug. Waving at me from behind her back, she leaves the kitchen taking her glass of water with her.

I stay in the kitchen and pour a drink from the cold water bottle, out of the fridge, into a glass. Leaning against the worktop I can see Abigail curled up on the sofa with her phone in her hand, gazing sorrowfully at it. Slowly she strokes her finger down the screen, closing her eyes as she does so. I feel like I am watching a sweet moment she is having with whoever’s picture is there. Maybe that is why she is off with me, maybe she is missing the person that is on the other side of her phone and I am just getting the edge of her annoyance.

I wonder what kind of man Abigail would be seeing. I don’t recall Ryan ever telling me she was dating anyone but then again I never asked either. Abigail’s life was something we rarely spoke about. When we wrote out our wedding invitations, Ryan said it was best to leave it
and guest
, rather than nothing. That way, he said, if she wanted to bring someone then she could. But he was very much doubtful. Thinking about it now, we never did get an acceptance card in the pre-stamped envelope from her unless she gave it to Ryan and he forgot to pass it to me. 

I let out a small cough to indicate to her I was coming back into the room. Abigail rushes to put her phone back into her bag on the floor while wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

“Are you ok?” I ask.

“I’m fine. I think I will go for a lie down too.” Abigail announces as she gets up and storms past me. “It has been a busy morning,” she says before leaving me standing on my own in the room.

I shouldn’t be feeling jealous of Abigail having someone she is missing waiting for her while mine has gone forever but the thought makes my stomach turn. A wave of wanting to escape overcomes me again as I stand in the middle of the room. I need space, far, far away from Abigail’s moods and even Sarah’s pitiful looks. I know she means well but the need to escape is far more than the want to stay. Grabbing my bag I head out of the sliding door as quietly as I can, closing it quietly behind me for it to lock.

*****

Taking a breath in to reach deep inside my lungs I slowly let it out again. Feeling much calmer sitting on a rock overlooking the clear blue ocean. The surface is like glass, so still and yet underneath the little fish dart back and forth at speed. The path I took here was over grown and I only found it by taking the wrong route to the harbour, but I am glad I did. The fish’s movements reflect the way I have been feeling, calm on the exterior but my mind never still.

Pulling my knees up towards my chest, I hug them while staring at my new tiny friends. How amazing it is when they follow each other in their swirls and swim in unison. With the sun starting to set they move fast before a rock from behind me falls in with a splash, dispersing them in a flash.

I look back to see if any more small rocks are loose and I am met with a pair of grey sneakers. I get up a little startled, brush down my shorts from the dust from the stones and start to walk away.

“Hey don’t leave. I didn’t mean to scare you off.” Kieran calls out to me but I keep walking. I am in no mood to make small conversation, annoyed that he has disturbed me.

“Wait up, I’ll walk you back.” He says with a touch of his city accent.

“I can walk back myself, thank you.” I shout back over my shoulder without stopping.

“No seriously, I’ll walk with you. You could get lost on this track.”

“I’m fine Kieran. I found my way here, I’ll find my way back.” I lie hoping to find the path I took earlier.

Catching up to me, Kieran holds onto my arm to stop me from walking any further, turning me to face him at the same time.

“I’m not trying to be smart and I have no idea how you found this place but the way back can be a little tricky. You will need help.”

“Is this like a sacred place or something?” I ask a little bit snarky.

“It is mine.” Kieran looks down at me, easily towering me by six inches. His eyes are darker than the sea that I feel like I am drowning in them.

A depth of many oceans.

Quickly he blinks away like I can see something I shouldn’t.

“Come, I know a short cut but it means a bit of a climb. Is that ok with you?”

I nod and let him take the lead across the rocks not wanting to get lost. Letting him take my hand when the climb becomes uneven or slippery from the tide starting to come in. By the time we reach the path that I recognise, the sun has started to go down behind the horizon. Sounding a little out of breath I feel refreshed from the strenuous task.

“I did say you needed help getting out from there.” Kieran says looking very much smug with himself.

“That you did, thank you.”

“Now I think you need a drink. There is a little bar just across the road.”

“I should get back.” I tell him although I don’t really know what I want to do.

“You should but you also need to have a cold drink after that bit of a climb. Look we can sit outside so you can enjoy the sun setting.”

“One quick drink and then I had better go.”

“Deal.” Smiling Kieran takes my hand and crosses the road. I follow his lead and I don’t know why, but I don’t take my hand away until we are seated.

Kieran orders in Spanish to the young dark haired waitress and I listen to the way his tongue rolls off the words like he is a native. It is beautiful to my ears.

We sit in silence and take in the view while we wait for the young girls return. This small pub is beautiful and there is enough room on the path for two sets of small tables, both housing two chairs each. The wall behind me is decorated with patterned tiles that I have seen in other places on my walk into town earlier. Sitting in my seat I watch the harbour and the yachts not far from us and think how lovely it would to escape life and disappear in one of them right now.

It is when the drinks are placed in front of us that I get the delightful smell of fish wafting through the air and my stomach makes a sound.

“When was the last time you ate?” Kieran asks me and I place my arm across my stomach to dull the noise.

“Earlier, in the cafe.” I confess.

“That was hours ago. Hold on I’ll be back in a second.” Kieran scrapes back his chair and manoeuvres his long muscly legs from the small table, disappearing in the darkness of the bar. I take a sip of my iced cool drink and a feeling of not belonging consumes me. I shouldn’t be enjoying the sound of the water coming in to the marina and sloshing up the sides of the boats making them rock. But my legs feel heavy and tired of running away. Sitting here I’m at peace, dreaming of boarding one of those yachts, sailing away from the noise and loneliness that consumes me.

“Here we are.” The large ceramic dish is placed on the table, practically taking over the whole space. Following behind Kieran is the server, the young woman who served us our drinks and barely out of her teens with the most beautiful smiles and thick long black hair. She places two empty plates with forks on the table, balancing them on so they don’t fall. Kieran speaks in a language I know little about to the young girl and she giggles. I feel a pain in my chest, awkward that I am interrupting something; I look away back out to the sea of dreams.

“I’ll be the server tonight, pass me your plate please madam.” Not yet taking his seat, I hold my plate up to him. Using the two large serving spoons he scoops up a portion that would be far too much for me.

“Whoo stop it will over fill.” I tell him, holding my free hand up to indicate to halt.

“Nonsense, you need every bit of that in you.”

“Seriously Kieran, I don’t want to waste it.”

“Hush, eat up, I can guarantee you will love the taste of this recipe. I am told this is the best place for paella.” He informs me with a wink.

“Ok but I might not like it. I haven’t had fish for a long time.”

“What! Do you not like fish?”

“Oh I loved it,” I explain as he sits back down, watching me with curiosity. “I just chose not to eat it.”

“Really? Would you like to tell me more?”

“It’s a long story and I don’t want to bore you.” Taking my fork, I stab the prawn from the top and put it in my mouth so I didn’t have to explain any further. Closing my eyes I savour the delicious taste that is melting on my tongue and prickling my senses. I hold the prawn captured in my mouth and suck down to devour the juices escaping from its body. When no more can be drawn from it, I chew and swallow. Opening my eyes I’m startled to see Kieran with his mouth opened staring at me.

“I have never heard anyone moan while eating a prawn.”

“Excuse me?” I ask him, not sure what he is referring to.

“You closed your eyes and moaned while eating that.”

“Did I? Oh god I am sorry. It just tasted so good.”

“Oh don’t apologise, I enjoyed watching you eat. When was the last time you ate fish, did you say?”

I could feel the rush of blood on my cheeks and take a drink to cool me down.

“I didn’t but it has been far too long.”

“You’re not going to tell me are you?” He lets out a sigh and turns his attention to his food falling silent again.

I lick my plate clean, well as clean as a fork and the spoon I asked for could make it and my stomach is happy that I did too. The dish tasted amazing and Kieran was right, I did need every bit of it. But the sun is now long gone and guilty feeling returns. The painful truth that I shouldn’t be sitting with a stranger, enjoying food that Ryan could never eat and relaxed in the company of a good-looking man. This is wrong, so wrong on every level. I’ve got to leave.