Beginnings - SF2 (42 page)

"I thought we were going to sleep," she replied innocently. "Would you like me to put some more clothes on?"

"No," she muttered, "you're a total hottie no matter what you're wearing."

"Um...I'm sorry?" Ryan teased.

Jamie looked at her seriously and finally asked, "Can you help me figure out what I want?"

"I think I can," she replied confidently. "Let's go back to when you decided you wanted to wait until our vacation. Why did you want to wait?"

Jamie looked a little embarrassed, but she gamely replied, "I know it's kind of silly. But I've built this up in my mind, and I really want it to be special. Does that make any sense to you?" she asked timidly.

"Of course it does," Ryan said reassuringly. "This means a lot to me too, Jamie. I want to look back and remember our first time together for the rest of my life."

"So you don't think I'm just being silly about this?"

"Not at all," she said vehemently. "I want this to be an experience that will be burned into your memory."

"But what do you want, Ryan? I feel that all of our discussions about sex focus on my needs."

"To be honest, when you first told me of your feelings I was worried that it would be too hard for me to wait. I mean, I had been with Tracy for three months by then, and I was really getting twitchy," she gave a little embarrassed chuckle. "But I think waiting has really been good for me. With Tracy I wasn't sure of my feelings, so I was pulled in both directions. But with you, I'm absolutely certain that you're the woman for me." She sat up to better organize her thoughts. "This might sound weird, but it's been a little like Lent for me." Jamie gave her a quizzical grin, encouraging her to go on. "During Lent you deny yourself some things that you like, and you really try to focus on the important lessons of the season. With you, I've had to deny myself some things I really, really like." Here she laughed a bit. "But that self-denial has made me focus on my feelings for you outside of the sexual arena. I know that I'm more in love with you than I was in March. And I really think that keeping our relationship less sexual has helped those feelings blossom." Now she leaned in and wrapped her arms around Jamie again as she whispered right into her ear. "Even though I want you with a passion that I've never felt for another human soul, I'm glad we waited."

"So, you agree that making love in a tiny tent in the middle of three thousand people isn't the most memorable setting?"

"It might be memorable," she grinned. "But I want the memories to be ours alone. I don't want our neighbors to remember our first time as well as I do."

"Well, you do have a point there," Jamie said as she listened to the people come and go in the surrounding tents. "Besides," she teased, "I'm kind of proud of being your first tentmate on the AIDS Ride to resist your charms."

"Okay, you've got me there," she agreed happily. "Now can we take that nap?"

As they snuggled up together, Jamie abruptly sat up and asked, "You had sex with every other tentmate on the ride. Didn't people hear you?"

"Oh yeah," she said with a chuckle. "I always tried to wait until it was quiet, but I'll admit that I got a lot of knowing looks from my tent neighbors."

"But you don't want to do that with me?" she asked.

"No, definitely not," Ryan said firmly. "It was just sex with those women, and having people hear us was no big thing. Actually," she said with a rakish grin, "since my neighbors were usually guys, it was kind of a competition. I was just doing my part to show that lesbians like sex too!"

"That might be fun next year after we need a little spice," she said with a chuckle. "But right now I agree that some nice quiet romance is in order."

"Romance it is," she said with a few delicate nibbles of Jamie's tender neck. "But until then how about a nice quiet orgasm?"

"Not a bad idea," Jamie said, after a moment's thought. "Give me fifteen," she demanded, jerking her thumb in the direction of the tent opening.

After her forced exile, Ryan crawled back in and snuggled up behind her physically satiated lover. When they awoke an hour later, Jamie was half sprawled across Ryan, with her thigh wedged between the long, muscular legs. Her right hand had strayed up under the white tank top, resting on her rib cage, just below a tempting breast. They laughed a bit at their position as Jamie said, "My subconscious has a mind of its own."

"I think I'm gonna like your subconscious," Ryan whispered in a sultry tone as she leaned in for a kiss.

They were already waiting in line when dinner was served. Ryan was jiggling her foot and generally looking anxious for some minutes when the line began to move.

"Hey, are you okay?" Jamie asked.

"Yeah, I'm just really hungry. I normally eat a bigger lunch than we get here, and it's starting to catch up with me, I guess."

"Why don't you go back for seconds at lunch?"

"It's kind of a delicate balance. I need to get enough fuel, but if I eat what I normally do, I'd feel too heavy. So I just try to make sure I'm getting enough calories, even if I still feel hungry."

"You look like you've lost a couple of pounds," Jamie said as she ran her hand up Ryan's tummy. "Try to make sure you get enough tonight, okay? It's early enough so you'll have digested it before we go to sleep."

"I'll do my best," she happily agreed.

After Ryan had tucked away more chicken burritos, rice, beans and salad than Jamie thought possible, they went for another stroll around the campgrounds. They stopped by a group of UPS drivers who were still handing out gear bags to riders who had come in late. Jamie asked, "Are they volunteers, too?"

"Yep. Not only are all of the drivers volunteers, they take their personal vacation to do this. UPS donates the trucks, which is no small thing, but the drivers really make this ride happen. They cart all of the food and water to all the pit stops, and they transport all of the gear from site to site. It's really a remarkable contribution."

They continued on their little stroll, meeting a few of Ryan's old friends in the process. When they were at the farthest point of the campground, they found a quiet spot and grabbed a picnic table. "I really like how you introduce me as your 'partner'," Jamie said as she cuddled up against her partner's warm side.

"Well, since you're my first real significant other, I had to think about your title," she admitted. "Lover is way too one dimensional. Girlfriend doesn't sound serious or permanent enough. That left me with partner, mate, wife and spouse." She pursed her lips and cocked her head a little as she continued. "I kind of like spouse, and I really like mate. But they both seem more appropriate if we had a public commitment to each other. So partner seemed the best term for us right now. What do you think?" she asked.

"I think it is so sweet that you spend time thinking about things like this so carefully," Jamie replied as she wrapped her arms around Ryan's neck and kissed her soundly.

"I looked them all up in the dictionary," the grinning woman added with a hopeful little eyebrow wiggle.

"Then you clearly deserve more kisses," Jamie replied solemnly. When she was finished bestowing the reward, she asked, "Would you like to have a public commitment ceremony?"

"Absolutely," Ryan said decisively, clearly having given the issue some thought. "I'd like to tell every person I've ever known how much you mean to me." She placed a few sweet kisses upon her partner's lips as she added, "When we get back I'm going to write a long letter to my very traditional grandparents to tell them the good news."

"Do they know you're gay?" Jamie asked, realizing that Ryan rarely spoke of her Irish relatives.

"We've never formally discussed it, but I think my Aunt Moira may have indicated that I was. Neither of them has ever asked me a question about who I'm dating or if I'm going to get married, so they must know something, since my granny is always on the boys about it."

"How old are they?"

"My grandmother is 80 this year, and my grandfather is 85. They still live in the little town where my great-great-great grandfather was born. They're not very wise to the ways of the world, but my grandmother knows people. So I don't think they'll be overjoyed, but I think they'll come to accept it. My Aunt is very cool about it and all of my cousins know, so my grandparents can vent to them if it really bothers them."

"When did you see them last?"

"My Aunt and my cousin Aisling were here just last summer—about a month before you and I met. But my grandparents won't leave County Mayo for love nor money, so I last saw them two summers ago. I try to save up to go at least that often since they're getting up in years."

"So you should go this summer, huh?"

"Yeah, ideally I would, but I think I'm going to be terribly busy with a little blonde I know."

"Likewise, I'm sure," she said with a grin. "Did you go to Ireland often when you were young?"

"Yeah, I did. After my mother died, Da had a heck of a time keeping track of me during summer vacation. He enrolled me in every kind of sport, and gave me every kind of lesson to keep me busy, but summers were always hard for him. I always had too much time on my little hands, and I was always in some sort of trouble. So he would send me to my grandmother for anywhere from one to three months. I think he did it partly to give Brendan a break, actually," she laughed at the memory of her brother tracking her down all over the city.

"Wasn't it hard for you to leave your father for that long?" remembering how hard it was for her partner to say goodbye to Rory.

"Yeah," she reflected. "The first time I went was the summer after my mother died. That was tough, but Brendan went with me, which helped a lot."

"Wasn't there any other option?" she asked timidly, hating the thought of her tiny partner being sent away so soon after such trauma.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, Jamie, I wanted to go," she said quickly. "It was my idea. My Aunt Moira was here a lot during my mother's last year, and I grew very close to her. And my cousin Aisling is my age, and it was cool to be around my only female cousin for a whole summer. Plus I think there was a bit of me that craved to be in my mother's country, in her childhood home, with her family. It made me feel closer to her somehow," she said with a small voice.

"I'm glad you could go," Jamie said softly as she draped an arm around her back. "But what did you do all summer?"

"Oh, lots of stuff. That first summer, both Brendan and I were pretty depressed. We spent a lot of time going through our mother's things that my grandmother had saved. It was sad in a way, but it let Brendan and me get closer. My mother was buried in the small church cemetery, and I made Brendan walk me down there every day, just to talk to her. My grandmother didn't like it, and she tried to dissuade us, but you know how determined I get," she said with a wry chuckle.

"That I do," she said fondly as she patted Ryan's back. "So what about subsequent years?"

"Well, Brendan was in high school the next summer, and he didn't want to go. Rory didn't want to miss a summer of music lessons, and Conor never had much interest in the small town life, so I went alone."

"God, you were only eight!"

"Yep. The plane ride was kinda scary, especially since I had to change planes in New York," she said with wide eyes.

"I thought they had rules about little kids flying alone!"

"Oh they do, but I looked twelve when I was eight and they didn't require I.D.," she said lightly. "The flight attendants kind of took to me, and they made sure I was okay. I had an escort to the connecting flight, so it was safe and everything."

"Jeez, that still must have been freaky!"

"Yeah, it was, but it taught me that you had to make some sacrifices to get what you want. I wanted to go, and I had to put up with some scary things to get there. I really have to hand it to Da for letting me go. It must have been hard for him, but I really wanted it, and he let me."

"So did you just play with your cousins all summer?"

"Ha! I wish! No such luck when my grandmother's in charge. I had to take Irish lessons every morning at the National school. Aisling took them with me, so it wasn't too bad, but those masters would not put up with any nonsense! The schoolmasters in Killala closely follow the 'children should be seen and not heard' dictum. Then we had to take Irish dance lessons three afternoons a week until we were in high school!"

"Irish dance?"

"Yep. Aisling would never have done that on her own, but Granny forcefed me Irish culture the whole time I was there. She always said she had to make sure I didn't turn into a heathen, which in her view, is anyone from outside County Mayo!"

"God, school every day! Did you have any fun?"

"Yeah, I got to play lots of sports. The competition was much better in soccer than I got here, so it really helped me as a player. Plus I got to play Irish football, which is kinda like soccer but you can use your hands. And when I was a little older, Aisling and I joined a hurling team, and that helped me with a lot of skills. I'd say that most of my skills as an athlete came from my time in Ireland," she reflected. "But it took months to get rid of my accent every year. I sounded like an immigrant until Christmas!"