Beginnings - SF2 (9 page)

"Hmmm, I guess the only thing that makes sense is to kiss less and make sure it doesn't get too hot. But that is kinda counterproductive for me," Jamie mused.

"Counterproductive? How?"

The smaller woman pursed her lips together briefly before she said, "This is really different for me, Ryan. It's a good difference but a difference nonetheless. Kissing you and touching you gets me really, really turned on and that's something that didn't happen much with men. I guess I'm allowing myself to get used to that feeling."

"And not having sex with you allows me to experience what it's like to be turned on and not be satisfied immediately," Ryan informed her. "And as frustrating as that is, I think it's good for me."

"Really?" Jamie asked shyly. "You really think you're learning something from this?"

Ryan grasped her hand and brought it to her lips. She kissed it gently on the palm and held it to her cheek for a moment. "I am, Jamie. I'm learning what it is that I want from sex."

"Tell me, Ryan," she begged.

"I've learned that sex becomes lovemaking when we touch each other not just with out bodies but with our souls. It's lovemaking when I welcome you to touch me in ways no one else ever has or ever will. It's lovemaking when I show you the essence of myself, stripped of pretense and façade. Lovemaking is sharing souls, Jamie. It's profound and poetic, intimate and intense. Nothing less will do when we're together." She trailed her fingers through Jamie's soft blonde hair and smiled as her partner snuggled close. "I've been with many, many, women, Jamie, but I swear I've never made love before," she pledged. "When we share that experience it's going to be a first for both of us."

"That was so beautiful," Jamie whispered as she lifted her head for several achingly tender kisses. "God, you take my breath away." She dropped her head onto Ryan's chest and nuzzled contentedly for a few minutes. "It's gonna be wonderful between us." Lifting her head she gazed right into Ryan's eyes. "I love you, Ryan."

"And I love you, Jamie." They cuddled together on the loveseat for a few minutes, nuzzling their faces into each other's necks, until Jamie sat up and sneezed.

"I'm at a disadvantage here," she complained as she grasped a handful of Ryan's long hair.

"Hand me a scissors," Ryan ordered as she attempted to get up.

"You goof! Sit right back down here and tell me how we're going to control ourselves."

"Okay," she nodded decisively. "I've got a plan. Now, I don't like it, but it's a plan."

"What is it, Ryan?" Jamie asked, concerned about the sour look on her friend's face.

"I volunteer to keep us on the straight and narrow," she said firmly, even though she looked slightly ill.

"Oh, Honey, I can't ask you to do that!"

"You didn't ask," Ryan reminded her. "It's hazardous duty but I think it's only fair that I volunteer."

"Fair? How so?" Jamie asked.

Ryan shifted a little bit and traced her thumb down the baby-soft cheek as she cradled her partner's face in her hand. "This is brand-spanking new for you, Jamie. Even ignoring the same-sex aspect you haven't had much experience in playing with your libido. I want to give you that gift. I promise to do my very best to keep a lid on while you feel free to explore."

The smaller woman sat immobile for a moment, stunned by the overly generous offer. "I…I don't think I can accept, Ryan," she said softly.

"Why?" Ryan asked. "I really think this is the best way."

"It's too unequal," Jamie complained. "I don't want you to be responsible for both of us."

"Jamie," she said as she leaned forward and brushed her forehead with her lips. "I've been unleashing my rabid libido on innocent young women for 6 years," she said with just a touch of hyperbole. "I think it will be good for me to learn a little restraint. Please let me give you this gift."

The fair-haired woman sat quietly for a moment, considering the offer carefully. "Are you really certain that you won't resent me?" she asked.

"I'm positive. This gift is freely given. I'll do my best to let you explore, but if it gets too hard I'll let you know. You just have to promise to pull back if I tell you to."

"Hmm, that might be tough," Jamie laughed. "But if you can offer nearly a mile I can go the last few feet."

"Deal," Ryan said happily. She got up and walked over to the bed, flopping down on the surface as she spread her arms and legs wide. "Whenever you're ready," she offered, pulling her head up to make eye contact.

"Get back over here, Goofball," Jamie laughed. "We're not done."

"Boy, you sure do know how to take the fun out of an offer," Ryan joked. As she got up and settled herself on the loveseat once again she asked, "What else?"

"I'm sure this isn't an open ended offer," Jamie said as she wiggled her eyebrows. "I mean, you wouldn't want to do this for a year would you?"

"Aaaah, no," Ryan agreed immediately. "I'd be ready for the asylum."

"So we need to make some progress on our end-date."

"You mean our beginning date," Ryan corrected gently.

"Precisely," Jamie agreed. "Tell me your thoughts."

"I think I could muster some enthusiasm for just about any date you might pick," Ryan said thoughtfully, blue eyes twinkling. "How about you?"

"Okay," Jamie said as she considered the request. "I guess I'm pretty close right now. I'm still nervous and all but I think you could help me through that. But I want to wait until we can make it special. I've promised myself that, Ryan, and I don't want to go back on that promise."

"Tell me about that," Ryan urged as she draped her arm around her partner and pulled her close. "Tell me about your dreams."

"Well, I have this…um…fantasy…about the first time we really make love," she blushed. "We're in a special place and we spend hours just touching and kissing and touching some more. I want to touch and kiss every little part of you, one inch at a time. That's what lovemaking feels like to me."

"That's what it feels like to me too, Jamie. That's exactly it! And I agree that we need to wait until we have that special place."

"It's more than just the place," she reminded her. "I need time too. Unstructured time, with no interruptions. I want you and your beautiful body to be the only thing on my mind," she insisted.

"We can do this, Hon, I swear we will. But I think we've got to wait until finals are over, no matter what. If we don't I'm gonna see chemical formulas imprinted on your beautiful little body!"

"Okay," Jamie chuckled. "We'll revisit the issue after finals."

"Deal," Ryan said, extending her hand.

Jamie shook it firmly, pronouncing, "We make a good team, Ms. O'Flaherty."

"The best, Ms. Evans."

"Bed?" Jamie asked with a smile as she got up she extended a hand to her partner. "I left a new toothbrush out for you."

"Excellent. Be back in a minute."

After Ryan spent her normal five minutes brushing and flossing every surface of her enamel she went back into the room, pleased to see Jamie in bed already. "Boy, you look good in a horizontal position," she said with a cute little grin. "What a wonderful sight to look forward to for the rest of my life."

"I bet you say that to all the girls," she teased, blushing a little at the compliment.

"Uh-uh, Jamie," Ryan said with a completely serious expression. "I've never told anyone that I wanted to see them every night for the rest of the month, much less my life. I don't tease about the commitment I'm making to you."

"Oh, Honey, I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "I was just teasing but I'll be more careful in the future. I know you're sensitive about this."

"It's okay," she said quickly. "I know you didn't mean anything by it."

"Come here and let me apologize more convincingly," Jamie beckoned, jerking her head towards Ryan's side of the bed.

Ryan hopped in and they fidgeted around for a minute trying to lay the ground rules for sleep. "How do you like to sleep?" Ryan inquired. "Side, back, tummy?"

"I'm very versatile," she replied. "I can sleep just about any way I fall. But I tend to wake up most often on my side. How about you?"

"When I sleep alone I curl up in the fetal position," she said with a laugh. "I take up about a quarter of my bed at home. But when I sleep with someone I'm usually on my back or side. I think the only time I've slept on my tummy was when you gave me that great massage on St. Patrick's Day."

"Why do you sleep differently with people?"

"I'm usually the larger person and people tend to cuddle up to me. It's apparently one of the perks of having a big girlfriend. And it's pretty comfortable to have someone curled up against my side with their head on my shoulder or chest."

"Like this?" Jamie asked as she snuggled up tight against her side.

"Exactly. Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," she said softly.

Ryan remembered one major item as she said, "We didn't discuss which side of the bed you want. Any preference?"

"I don't think so. You?"

"No, not really. Which side did Jack sleep on?"

"My left," she said immediately. "Always my left."

"Excellent," Ryan declared, already in the correct position. "New administration. New side."

"As long as we're trying new things why don't I lie on my back and you can put your head on me?"

"Okey dokey," Ryan replied, knowing this experiment would be short-lived. She snuggled up against her smaller partner's right side and gently laid her head just above her breast.

"Ohhh, this feels nice," Jamie said, happy that she had suggested the arrangement. She could run her fingers through the dark hair, and Ryan's fresh clean smell wafted up to fill her senses. "You've been hogging the good position," she gently chided.

"Well I like it down here, too," Ryan happily agreed. "I feel all safe and warm, just like I'm in a snug little cocoon. I've been missing a lot up there."

They were quiet for a few moments and Ryan was nearly asleep when she heard the soft voice say, "Um…my arm's falling asleep."

"Okay, I'll move a little farther in." Now her head was nearly on Jamie's sternum, but that obviously wasn't going to work as she heard her labored breathing. Finally she rolled onto her back and held her arm open, smiling to herself as her grateful partner climbed into her embrace.

"Remind me to start following your advice to start with," she said sleepily as she tossed both an arm and a leg across Ryan's body.

"Mmmm, trapped like a rat," Ryan mused. "Just like I like it."

The next week generally followed the pattern of the previous one. Ryan still arrived by seven, parking her motorcycle a block away. They had breakfast together and usually could manage an hour or so during the middle of the day, but with finals so close that was getting a little harder to pull off.

Ryan had never fallen behind in her schoolwork and it made her uncomfortable to do so now, so they decided to try to learn how to study together. Every night after a quick dinner they headed over to the Biosciences Library for a couple of hours of concentrated effort.

Each night started out promising enough but within twenty minutes or so Jamie would look up to find her companion just staring at her with a vacant, lovesick expression on her beautiful face. Jamie would give her a playful scowl and point firmly at her books. Another twenty or thirty minutes later, however, found the same goofy look coming her way and she would indulgently nod and follow Ryan to their secret spot.

The Biosciences Library was a very large building, five stories tall and usually jammed with people. But since Ryan spent so much time in the place she knew where the quietest nook was. So she would lead Jamie to the most distant part of the stacks and pounce on her with abandon. It was certainly not an ideal solution—the dusty, old, little-used books in this section could have brought on an allergy attack and there was no place to sit. But it was quiet and that was all that they cared about at that point. They would spend five minutes or so gently kissing and hugging, with Jamie putting every bit of effort into making sure that the kisses were loving enough to satisfy her partner but innocent enough to allow Ryan to go back and study.

But even with these little intimacy breaks, by nine o'clock each night Ryan's gaze locked onto her and she refused to be dissuaded. They would pack up their books and walk back to the bike where they would jump on for a quick trip to friendly territory. They both decided that the sexual energy at the bar was a little too dangerous so they spent their evenings at Mama Bears. They had to endure a little teasing from Babs that became worse every night until Ryan revealed that they had no place else to go. Quickly taking pity on her friend, Babs turned off the lamps flanking a low velvet loveseat and guided the women over. "It's nice and dark now girls, have fun!"

They dropped down into the sofa and spent a nice half hour languidly exploring each other's mouths. That night and each night thereafter Jamie made it a point to buy coffee or cocoa and some little snacks, telling Ryan, "If we're gonna take up this much space we've gotta eat something!"

By Friday night they were both much more comfortable with the way things were working out. Ryan was comfortable being turned on most of the night since Jamie seemed to be relaxing quite a bit. And she was fully able to release her pent up desire as soon as she got home.

Early Saturday morning Ryan answered the phone to hear a very chipper-sounding girlfriend. "I had a scathingly brilliant idea," she said excitedly.

"Do tell," Ryan urged.

"Remember my father's city apartment?"

"Yeah, you've mentioned it."

"I've got keys," she stated rather dramatically.

"But doesn't he use it sometimes?"

"Yeah, but usually just on a weekday, like if he has a real late meeting in the city. It saves him having to drive home and then come right back the next morning."

"So your plan involves what? Sleeping over?"

"Umm, that's a little adventurous," she mused. "But a nice long afternoon of studying in bed and smooching sounds pretty good to me. How about you?"

A deep winsome sigh was sufficient response.

Ryan was sitting on the deck--anxiously awaiting her date when Jamie pulled up at two o'clock. She was grinning like a two-year-old as she ran down the stairs and Jamie just had to spend a moment taking her in when she hopped into the car. "You are so incredibly beautiful today," she enthused as her eyes ran up and down Ryan's long body.

The day was clear and warm and Ryan had taken advantage of the temperature. She wore a v-necked red knit short-sleeved shirt with small horizontal lines in shades of blue. It was quite tight, hugging her voluptuous form firmly, and it ended a good two inches above her navel. Her long legs were covered by dark blue stretch chinos. The pants did not have pockets, but if they had, Jamie would have been able to call heads or tails on the change she carried. Jamie hungrily observed that her girlfriend looked like she was about to burst forth from her tight clothes and she hoped fervently that a poor quality thread had been used on the seams.

Ryan laughed at her dumbstruck expression and removed the band from her wrist to pull her hair back in a ponytail for the windy ride. "Yet another generous compliment," she said lightly as she patted Jamie on the thigh.

"Wow!" she mumbled as she leaned over and kissed her roughly, right in plain view of the neighbors.

Ryan had to struggle just to focus after that scorcher and she privately mused that she would need to be on her guard all day.

The drive to Telegraph Hill was quick and pleasant on this lovely Saturday. They pulled into the subterranean garage and left the Porsche in the tandem space marked 'Evans'.

Never having been in a building with personalized parking spots, as they waited for the garage elevator, Ryan mused, "Nice place."

"Thanks," Jamie replied, even though she had no real connection to the place.

Moments after entering the brass-toned elevator they were deposited on the first floor of the lavishly decorated building. Jamie immediately steered Ryan towards the uniformed man sitting at a large circular workstation. Ryan held back, letting her partner do her thing.

Jamie's habitual need to engage every member of the service industry in a private conversation had become a little joke between them and when the smaller woman returned she smiled at Ryan and reminded her, "Doormen need love too."

As they walked across the polished granite floor Jamie cast a narrow eyed glance at her partner's squeaky running shoes but as expected Ryan just had to scuff her feet a tiny bit more in response. The little pink tongue that stuck out of those luscious mauve lips was a surprise but most definitely a welcome one.

The generous lift whisked them to the top floor in seconds as Ryan fought with her ears to keep them open against the pressure. "They should supply gum in the lobby," she grumbled as she followed her partner along the sumptuous beige and maroon paisley carpet. The key slid into the lock and opened with a click, allowing Ryan to follow Jamie into the apartment that just screamed 'MAN'.

"Wow," Ryan mused as she looked around the obviously expensive but equally obviously masculine apartment. "My father would die to live in a place like this."

"Wanna take a look around?" Jamie asked.

"Sure. I love to see how people who have taste furnish their homes," she said with a cute little smile.

"Mother furnished the place of course," Jamie said as she pointed out the two generous bedrooms, each with its own bath. Next was the sunny dining room with the very modern brushed aluminum glass-topped table and deep maroon Ultrasuede covered chairs with frames that matched the table base. Modern impressionistic art lined the walls and Ryan noted that every print had been signed by the artist and numbered. Tiny slatted aluminum mini-blinds covered the generous windows and with a smirk Ryan slid her finger across one of the slats to illustrate that they were dust-free.

"Does your father have a staff just for the blinds?" she asked.

"No, but he's a neat freak so I'd guess he has them cleaned every week," Jamie admitted.

Next she led her to the living room and its matching black leather sofas that sat on the edge of the cranberry and slate gray tweed area rug. Small modern chairs in a shiny gray material filled out the living room perfectly. Ryan turned to her partner and mused, "There's more sitting space in here than we have in our whole house." But her tone was matter-of-fact so Jamie merely agreed rather than trying to discern if that fact bothered her.

The kitchen was last on the tour but Ryan decided she like it the best of the whole place. It was even more modern than the rest of the apartment but there was a lot more color in the small, windowless room. Bright, wild modern art filled the stark white walls, making the room look bigger and more interesting. The cabinets and the appliances were uniformly stainless steel, but the counters were black granite. The floor was a dark gray stone of some sort and Ryan found that she liked the hard surface even though she mused it would be hard to stand on for long periods of time. But she needn't have worried about that fact. The kitchen actually looked as though it had never been used. Opening the Sub-Zero refrigerator Ryan nodded to herself, commenting, "Wine, beer, sparkling water, Pepsi, orange juice, oh…there it is," she declared, emerging with a jar of salsa in her hand. "Food!"

"Hey, he's a guy," Jamie shrugged as she went back into the living room.

"Is this just your dad's place?" Ryan asked as she joined her on the black sofa.

"Yeah, I'd say so. They stay here together occasionally, but I don't think mother has ever been here alone. He uses it as a quick place to shower or take a nap if he has an important meeting in the evening. A lot of his time is spent wooing international clients so he sometimes has a teleconference at midnight or even three or four a.m. When he has those it just makes sense to stay here rather than drive down to Hillsborough."

"Yeah, that makes sense," Ryan agreed. "So both of our fathers have to sleep away for work sometimes, huh?"

"After a fashion," Jamie agreed as she snuggled up to her partner. They nuzzled against each other for a few minutes trying to keep things light. But the mere thought of all of those luscious curves in those skintight clothes compelled Jamie to begin running her hands all over Ryan's body. "You are so delectable looking in this outfit," she whispered.

"Glad you like it," Ryan's deep voice rumbled back. "You don't think this shirt is too tight do you?" she asked in an innocent tone.

Jamie blew out a laugh as she sat up and smirked at her partner. "I'd like you in Caitlin's clothes, you silly goose!"

"Hmm," Ryan mused. "She has a hot little yellow terry cloth number I might borrow. Would I look good with little embroidered ducks dancing across my chest?"

"I don't know about ducks," Jamie whispered, "but I'd like to take a turn across that dance floor."

"My, my, Ms. Evans, you are the little minx today," Ryan teased as she tried to lighten the mood again. "Hey, is it just me, or is it hot in here? I'm dying of thirst."

"Oh-oh, my bad," Jamie replied as she hopped up and headed for the kitchen. On the way she made a stop at the thermostat to turn on the air in the seldom-used unit, joining her partner moments later with a sheepish grin and two large bottles of mineral water. "Sorry about that," she chuckled as she handed one over to her sweating lover.

"To tell you the truth I didn't notice until about two minutes ago," Ryan laughed. They managed to gulp down most of the liter bottles without pause, trying to hydrate themselves.

"Wanna go to bed and cuddle while we do a little studying?" Jamie asked when they had finished their drinks.

"Sure. Although I doubt we'll get much done," she warned as she picked up her book bag. They chose the guest room and together removed the bedspread and blanket before they kicked off their shoes and made themselves comfortable.

Several minutes later they were busy studying—but not their books. Jamie was terribly intent on trying to examine Ryan's skin through her clothes and, even though she wasn't very successful, neither was complaining. Ryan was surprisingly in control since she had been expecting a full frontal attack. She was just about to call a halt to the proceedings when they both froze in wild-eyed shock.

"Jamie?" boomed a voice from the entryway.

"MY FATHER!!!" she mouthed as she scrambled to her feet. "Get in the closet!!" she demanded. Before Ryan could utter a sound her partner was dashing out the door and running down the hallway to meet her father.

GET IN THE CLOSET!!! Not for you or any other woman on earth!!
Ryan fumed in outrage. But her love for the gentle woman she had held in her arms just moments earlier got the better of her and she silently put her shoes back on and climbed under the king-sized bed.
Never the closet!
she righteously declared.

The minutes ticked away and with each sweep of the second hand Ryan felt her temper rise. She wasn't angry that Jamie was unwilling to reveal the nature of their relationship to her parents. Her years of experience with friends and kids on the Teen Talk Line had given her ample evidence of how difficult that step was. But she was still nearly speechless that Jamie had denied her very existence! There were at least one hundred ways to handle this situation and she honestly thought that her partner had chosen the worst one. And as each scenario flashed through her mind she grew more and more agitated.

"Daddy!" Jamie nearly shouted when she reached the living room. She had managed to straighten her hair into a reasonable facsimile of its usual order and she offered up a silent prayer of thanks that she was not dating a lipstick lesbian.

"You're the last person I'd expect to find here, Jamie," he said happily. "But it's a very nice surprise."