Behind a Lady's Smile (20 page)

Mr. Paulings grimaced as Tillie retched. “I had an inkling that would happen,” he said, rubbing Tillie’s back.

“Come on, Miss Campbell. I think Tillie will be fine, and you have to get back to your cabin.” Mitch led Genny out of the saloon and toward her stateroom, but instead of walking directly there, as a sensible girl would do, she stopped and looked out over the rail at the quarter moon.

Reluctantly, Mitch stopped and stood next to her, far enough away that even if he were tempted, he couldn’t touch her. He stared at the moon as if it were far more interesting than gazing at how beautiful she looked in the moonlight.

“I owe you an apology.”

Mitch whipped his head around. “Apology?”

Even though there was scant light on the deck of the ship, he could see her nod. “Remember when you kissed me on the train? And again at the restaurant?”

Heat flooded Mitch’s body. “Vaguely.”

“Those were the only times anyone has ever kissed me,” she confessed in a rush. “I think I put more meaning into those kisses than there was. And I made you feel awkward. So I apologize.” She paused and took a breath and Mitch couldn’t stop staring at her, wondering how a woman could so completely misread a situation. “I know now that those kisses really meant nothing and I feel rather foolish for thinking about them the way I did.”

Mitch swallowed. “You thought about them, did you?”

“Constantly.” Genny let out a small laugh. “Tillie said girls tend to misinterpret a man’s intention and I expect that’s precisely what I did. And then to go to you and . . .” She stopped, mortification in every syllable. “I suppose that in a year or two, when I’ve been out in society, I will be used to such kisses.”

His entire body rebelled at the idea and it suddenly became too much for Mitch. Genny kiss other men? Make love to some toff who didn’t even know who she really was? By God, he wouldn’t let it happen. “I don’t want you to get used to being kissed,” he said, before he could even think about how she would respond to such a statement.

Her breath caught, and he heard it, as clearly as if she’d shouted to the world that she wanted him to kiss her again and be damned with the consequences.

“I embarrassed you,” she said, persisting in the lie she was building.

Oh, to hell with it
. He was done fighting it, done pretending he didn’t care, didn’t love her, didn’t want her. “No, you didn’t. You tempted me. You made my heart hurt.” He stopped, knowing that what he said next would seal his fate, but, by God, he just couldn’t help himself. He crossed the distance between them and made her face him, made her look at him as he laid his heart at her feet. “Genny, I can’t let you go. I can’t. I thought I could. A better man might have let you go, let you live the life you were meant to live. But I’m not that man. I thought I could deliver you to your grandparents’ doorstep and go on my way and let you live your life, but I can’t. I’ll die if I have to.”

She looked up at him, and even in the moonlight he could see her eyes filled with tears, giving him crazy hope. “What?”

He swore and she smiled. “I love you, damn it. I love you and it’ll be a cold day in hell when I get back on a ship to America without you next to me.” He looked down and shook his head, as if shaking off the demon that had possessed him. “I’m asking you to marry me. I’m begging you.” He didn’t even care that his voice broke, not when his heart had been breaking for weeks at the thought of losing her forever.

Genny placed two soft hands on either side of his head. “Goodness, Mitch, you don’t have to
beg
. All you had to do was smile at me and I would have said yes.”

He let out a sharp laugh and she joined him, tugging at his head as if she were trying to shake some sense into him.

“Does that mean I can kiss you without feeling like a . . . masher?” he asked. He’d never in his life felt such utter relief, such airless happiness. For weeks, he’d been trying to do the right thing, only to realize the right thing was standing right in front of him.

Genny got up on her tiptoes and planted a soft kiss on his lips. “You can do more than that,” she said, giving him a look he didn’t even realize was in her repertoire.

G
enny pulled back and searched Mitch’s face, wondering if she had imagined the conversation they’d just had. He loved her, wanted to marry her. Had loved her for some time, apparently. Men were such strange creatures. Every time he’d looked at her with a scowl took on a completely different meaning now.

“How much more do you think, darlin’? ’Cause I got to tell you, saying that to a man gets him pondering all sorts of things.” He chuckled and kissed her again, this time longer and more deeply. “God, you taste good.”

Just then the ship took a steep dive between growing swells, throwing the two of them off balance. Genny clutched Mitch, laughing as they tried to right themselves.

“Not the best place to kiss a girl,” Mitch said over the sound of the growing wind. “Looks like we might be in for a storm. We should get you back to your stateroom.”

Genny clung to him, her arms wrapped around him as he leaned back against the bulkhead to wait for the ship to level a bit more before setting out to her stateroom. “Come on,” he shouted, and pulled her toward the nearest door, the wind nearly whipping it from his hand. When he closed the door, it seemed as if everything had gone quiet.

“I don’t think I would have made much of a sailor,” Mitch said, leaning back against the door, clearly relieved to be off the deck.

“Are you sick?”

“No. I’m scared out of my mind,” Mitch said, but he smiled when he said it.

“I didn’t think anything scared you,” Genny said, holding him close, liking the way his clothes, damp from the sea, smelled.

“I’m scared of lots of things, but I think this”—he stopped as the ship made another dive into a trench—“may be nearly as bad as a battlefield.”

Genny leaned up and gave his beard-roughened jaw a kiss. “I spoke with the captain earlier today. He told me this is the safest ship ever built so I don’t think we have to worry. Please don’t worry.”

Outside, the howling wind seemed to calm a bit, but the seas were still rough. “Just a squall,” Mitch said, sounding relieved. “It’s too early for a hurricane. Come on, I’ll take you to your room.”

He began leading the way, but Genny stopped him. “Can you stay?”

He studied her a long moment and Genny held her breath. “You’re sure?”

She nodded. “We’ll be married soon enough.”

A slow smile appeared on his face and his eyes grew so heated, she nearly moaned. Her entire body flushed in a delicious way.

When they got inside, he whipped her around and kissed her again, one hand going to the back of her head, the other to the small of her back.

“I have some rules,” he said after he’d made her all drowsy with desire.

“Rules?”

He nodded solemnly, then kissed her again, slow and deep, the entire length of him pressed against her. “Everyone is different. What pleases you may not please someone else. So this time, this first time with you, I’m going to find out what pleases you. Next time, you find out what pleases me.”

Genny furrowed her brow, and he chuckled.

“For example,” he said, moving his mouth to her earlobe and sucking gently. Her knees nearly buckled. “You like that. I can tell because your breath hitched. But I don’t want to guess. You need to tell me.”

“So far I like everything you do to me.”

She smiled up at him and he tightened his jaw and swallowed. “When you smile like that, you do something to me. Did you know that?”

“What do I do?”

“I’ll tell you later. After.” He eyed the door worriedly. “You think Tillie will be coming back to the room?”

Genny turned and set the lock. “There. If she knocks, we’ll just stop whatever we’re doing and answer the door.”

“Pray God I don’t have to stop.” He took a step back from her and muttered something beneath his breath. “Now, this making love stuff, it requires you to be, um, naked.” The most charming blush stained his cheeks.

“It does? What about you? Are you also required to be unclothed?”

“I’ll be naked soon enough, don’t you worry. But for now, this is your turn, remember?” He put a hand on each shoulder and gently turned her around, and Genny realized he was going to unbutton her dress. She stood, her breath getting more and more jagged as he revealed first her corset cover, then her bustle and petticoats.

“You sure do have a lot of stuff under here.”

Genny turned her head. “Haven’t you ever undressed a lady before?”

“No. At least not one wearing such a complicated get-up.” He pressed a kiss to her neck and brought his hands around her waist, pulling her backside up against him. She felt his arousal and closed her eyes, aware of everything he was doing to her, the way he sounded. When he brought one hand up and skimmed one breast, she arched against him and let out a low moan.

“I like that,” she said, shocked by how breathless she sounded. His index finger circled one nipple, sending bolts of pleasure from her breast to between her legs, even through layers of cloth. “Oh, and that.”

He chuckled, taking her now-erect nipple between his thumb and forefinger and twisting gently, creating even more sensation. It was almost unbearable, and he hadn’t even touched her skin yet.

“All right, darlin’, turn around.”

When she did and looked up into his eyes, his expression nearly seared her skin. She’d never in her life seen Mitch look at her with such a heated gaze, and another flood of desire washed over her. “I like the way you’re looking at me now.”

He smiled, his eyes crinkling and losing that heat in an instant, but she liked this Mitch too. He brought one hand up to her jaw and brought her close, kissing her at first gently, and then with a groan, deepening the kiss, pushing his tongue into her mouth. This kiss was unlike the others she’d shared with Mitch. Those were out of control, filled with passion and urgency. This kiss was slow and all consuming, as if he had all the time in the world to explore her, and she found herself kissing back, with just as much passion, not thinking, just feeling, as if she couldn’t control her own body. His other hand captured one breast, and Genny found herself holding onto him, her hands clutching his sea-dampened shoulders or surely she would melt like wax to his feet. When he moved a thumb across her nipple, she actually sagged. She could hardly breathe, but she wanted more, even though she wasn’t quite certain what more was.

Mitch pulled back and that heated gaze returned. “I want to go slow, and I will, at least I’ll try,” he said with a chuckle. “But if I don’t see what’s under all these layers pretty soon, I think I’m going to go a little crazy.” He began undoing the tiny ribbons that held her corset cover together, slipping it off her shoulders when the last was untied. “Turn around.”

Genny laughed. “I’m going to get dizzy with all this turning.”

“It’s not my fault you’re wearing all these damn clothes.”

“Language, Mitch,” she said, though she secretly liked the way he cursed. “I must say, I sometimes miss just wearing a pair of pants and shirt. It certainly made getting ready for bed far easier.”

Behind her, Mitch groaned. “Are you trying to torture me? Just the thought of having such easy access . . .” He groaned again, pulling her against his erection, putting his hot mouth against the nape of her neck, before starting on her laces, cursing beneath his breath. “My hands are shaking,” he said in disbelief. “If I had my knife, I swear I’d slice right through these strings.”

“You wouldn’t dare. This is my favorite corset. It’s so pretty. Did you see the little florets around the top?”

Mitch grunted something that sounded like a negative response. Genny gradually felt the corset loosen, so apparently Mitch was having some success. “When we’re married,” he said, “your maid is going to do all this and when I come in, you’ll already be naked.”

“I can’t walk around naked,” Genny said, laughing. “I’ll have on my nightdress.”

“One that’s easy to take off,” he muttered, just as he completed the task.

“The rest is simple,” Genny said. She undid her petticoat, letting it drop unceremoniously into the growing pile at her feet. Tillie would be horrified by her treatment of her clothes, but at the moment, Genny didn’t much care. Right now, she was watching as Mitch made quick work of his own clothing. He wore only shoes and socks, a jacket, a collarless shirt, pants, and underclothes. In a flash, he was naked and Genny found herself staring at what had to be male perfection. Heavy slabs of muscle covered his chest and stomach, which were lightly covered with hair, just enough to run her fingers through if she had the inclination—which she did. She flattened one hand against his chest, marveling at the strength of him, the heat emanating from his body. His stomach was taut and ridged, a dark line of intriguing hair trailing downward. She followed the line, fascinated by how different his body was from hers, and he laid a hand on hers, stopping her exploration.

“Darlin’, if you keep that up, I’m afraid all my good intentions of taking it slow are going to go flying right out that porthole.”

She dropped her hand and continued her visual exploration, skipping past the middle part rather quickly, to note that his legs were long and muscular. Slowly, she made her way back up, allowing her curiosity to overrule her shyness, and finally looked at his man parts.

“What shall I call that?” she asked, staring at the hard length of him. It twitched and she let out a small, “Oh.”

“It’s a penis,” Mitch said, clearly suppressing a laugh, “but I figured you knew that already.”

Genny felt the warm rush of a blush stain her cheeks because she
hadn’t
known what it was called. If she thought about it at all, which was rare, she didn’t have a proper name for it. Why would she? She didn’t have a brother, and her father had certainly never enlightened her.

“I just call it my johnson.”

“Your johnson.”

“That’s when I’m being polite. When I’m not polite, I call it other things.”

Genny knew what making love entailed. Mitch was going to put his johnson, his large, long, thick johnson, inside her. And that’s about all she knew about making love, for whatever she did know she’d learned only from watching nature.

Mitch was naked, standing unabashedly in front of her, hands on his lean hips, and Genny had on only her chemise and bloomers. Not long ago, the thought of another person seeing her naked had seemed so strange. Madame Brunelle and Tillie, with their cavalier attitudes, had done away with any modesty she’d had. But Mitch was a different story altogether. Biting her bottom lip, she shimmied out of her bloomers, then pulled her chemise over her head. Naked. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, feeling the cool air wash over her body.

“My God, Genny. My God.”

The ship rolled a bit, and Genny stumbled toward Mitch, hitting him square in the chest. Immediately, his hands went around her and he held her against him. “The ocean is finally cooperating,” he said against her hair.

Oh, skin on skin was the most exquisite sensation. She might get used to this naked thing for it felt rather wondrous. Mitch let out a low sound, then kissed her, wrapping his arms fully around her, pulling her up and against him so that her feet no longer touched the floor. Within seconds, she was on the bed, Mitch on top, resting on his forearms so as not to crush her beneath his weight.

“Remember I said that wherever I touch you, I can kiss you,” he said, moving one finger from her jaw, down her neck, to the slope of her breast, and then, oh, finally, finally, to her sensitive nipple. She arched her back and let out a sound that had never escaped her lips before. She couldn’t help it. Never could she have believed that anything would feel as good as Mitch touching her.

“I wish I could tell you how beautiful you are.”

She smiled. “You just did.”

He bent and kissed her jaw, moving slowly down, following the path his finger had traced, and Genny felt her insides clench in anticipation of what was next. He’d said he would kiss wherever his hand had been, and it seemed as if he was moving . . . oh, goodness, there, to her nipple. He kissed, then licked, then suckled and she cried out, brought her hands to the back of his head just in case he got the idea that her crying out meant stop when she never, ever wanted him to stop.

Then he kissed the other breast and slid his hand down her body, resting it on her thigh, inches from where all sensation seemed to pool. “Mitch,” she said, stunned by how her voice sounded. Even more stunned by the way she lifted her hips, inviting, begging, for him to touch her, to somehow relieve the exquisite pressure that was building inside her.

“I know,” he said, bringing his lips to hers. “I know.”

What do you know?
Genny wanted to ask, would have asked, had he not touched her at that moment, right at the center of her.

“Yes,” she sighed. And then it seemed as if she lost control, lost sense of everything except his finger, moving against her, making her feel things she couldn’t have imagined just a few minutes earlier. She began moving her hips, unaware of why, but just knowing she had to, had to. “I need . . . oh, Mitch, I need . . .” And then it happened; her body grew taut, and a flood of such intensity enveloped her, and she was lost.

Slowly, she came back down, aware that Mitch was looking down at her and grinning. “I hardly got started, darlin’. You are a pure wonder.”

“What was that? It was wonderful.”

“You climaxed.”

“It was quite nice.”

He put his hand between her legs, the heel of his hand pressing lightly, and she lifted her hips experimentally, gasping at the sensation. “I’m going to make love to you now. Are you sure you want to do this? We could wait until we’re married. It just might kill me if you say no, but I’ll stop.”

“Why would I want to stop?” she asked, and pulled him down for a kiss, feeling his smile against her mouth. Mitch moved between her legs, touching her, inserting a finger, his eyes closed. She tensed at the invasion, but relaxed when he kissed her. “I love you,” he said, and she felt something larger there. He pushed inside, just a bit, and it felt as natural as breathing, so she shifted her hips. Mitch, shaking above her, let out a curse and pushed all the way inside her, letting out a long, low moan. It hurt, a burning sensation that she hadn’t expected, for everything else about making love up to this point had been only pleasure, and she let out a small cry.