Behind Closed Doors (21 page)

“Hell, I was happy. We went back to the way things were until I quit school. I came back, worked like a dog to get the ranch started while she stayed in college for another year, but we saw each other a lot. As soon as the Lucky 7 started making money, we got married. I assumed we were doing great. We’d even decided to start a family....”

Hands tightening on the steering wheel, he exhaled. “I found out that I didn’t know Anne as well as I thought. The night of the accident, she and her friend Bella were on their way to Kalispell to audition for a play. I was away at a cattle auction and had no idea she was gone.” He shrugged. “Turned out every time I left town she’d take off for one audition or another. According to Bella, Anne had always wanted to be on the stage. She’d never said a word to me. I mean, I knew she’d liked drama class in high school....”

Nathan shook his head. “Since we’d agreed to pump extra cash back into the business, it took a while to finish the house. Once we’d made it over the hump and were flush, she was excited about decorating and ordering furniture. I thought everything was fine. But our marriage was a lie. She wasn’t happy. And I was too damned invested in the ranch to notice.”

Not knowing what to say, Beth hesitated. She knew what she
wanted
to ask him, but was it the right thing? Oh, what the hell.... “Were
you?
” she asked, and he frowned. “Were you happy?”

His head reared back. He looked as though she’d completely stumped him. She wasn’t surprised. Nathan would feel it was his responsibility to take care of his wife, be the provider.

“Yeah...I guess,” he said finally. “I’d always hoped she’d be more of a partner in making ranch decisions. But I’m sure she had a whole wish list of things I could’ve done better.” He sighed. “What I can’t let go of is that for two years she let me believe we were trying to have a baby. After the funeral I found her birth control pills.”

He looked at Beth, but quickly turned his gaze back to the road. “That was bad enough, but not a week later I discovered that practically everyone knew Anne wanted to be an actress. That she used to go off to auditions and God knows what else every time she could.”

A gasp escaped Beth’s lips. She could almost see the anger and hurt weighing down his shoulders.

“Still, it was my own damn fault. I should have known. Should have seen the truth for myself.”

There was nothing Beth could say that would help. After that first night with him, she remembered wondering whether he would ever get over his wife. Now she wondered if he could ever trust a woman or himself again.

16

O
N
S
ATURDAY, WHEN
Beth arrived at the Lucky 7 to collect Liberty, Nathan and his brother were in front of the house, talking.

Nathan had told her Clint was going to help him pick up the furniture from Albert, but she’d assumed he’d have gone home this late in the afternoon.

She smiled as she stepped out of the car, but couldn’t help stealing a glance at the barn. Today was Liberty’s last day of penance, no more drop-offs and pick-ups, and Beth didn’t need a parting incident to set her niece off.

With mixed feelings about meeting Clint, Beth slowly approached. He knew she and Nathan had gone away together last weekend. Beyond that, she had no clue what Nathan might have confided in him.

“Perfect timing,” Nathan said, and for a scary moment she thought he was going to put his arm around her. Instead, he gestured to his brother. “I wanted you to meet Clint.”

“Hi,” Beth said, extending her hand.

“I’m really glad to meet you,” he said, the sincerity in his smile and eyes matching his firm handshake. “I’ve heard a lot about you, Beth.”

“Really?” She shot a wary look at Nathan. The way he was looking back at her... God, she could scarcely breathe. Even someone who didn’t know him as well as his brother could have seen there was something going on. “Yes, I’m sure you’ve heard about my niece terrorizing him.”

Clint just grinned. He had the same dark hair as Nathan and his eyes were brown, too, but lighter. The smile was different, though. “I gotta get back and help Dad move hay. But I hope to see you real soon,” he said to Beth, and then exchanged a cryptic glance with Nathan. “Come to Dad’s birthday dinner, bro. Make Mom happy...Dad and Grandma, too. And think about what I said.”

“Sorry if I chased him off,” Beth said as she watched him walk to his truck.

“No, he really did have to go. He only hung around to meet you.”

“Why?” she asked, facing Nathan. “What did you tell him about me?”

After a second’s hesitation, he said, “The truth.”

She let out a soft gasp. “That we’re friends with benefits?”

“No.” He bit off the word and stared at her as if she’d insulted him.

Beth sighed. Of course he wouldn’t tell his brother or anyone else. That was private.

“The birthday dinner for my dad that Clint mentioned...you want to go?” Nathan asked, watching her closely.

“I don’t know. I—where? When?” It didn’t matter. She was stalling until she recovered from the shock. He wanted her to meet his folks?

“At their place. Next Wednesday. It’ll be small, just the immediate family.”

“Um, wouldn’t that be awkward?” She glanced over her shoulder and saw Liberty and Woody, still a ways off, loaded with paint supplies and heading toward the barn.

“If I thought so, I wouldn’t have asked.” He sounded tired. She turned back to him and saw the weariness in his eyes. “Think it over. We should also consider including Liberty.”

She gaped at him. “Why? Because today is her last day? Nothing’s changed. She’s told me you and Woody said she’s welcome to come back anytime, which I appreciate—”

“Is that what’s stopping you from telling her about us?”

The question took her by surprise. Yes, their relationship had been evolving into something more intimate, at least in her mind. But they hadn’t discussed it. “What do you mean by ‘us’?” she asked, and waited, letting the silence stretch until it nearly snapped. “We’re friends who have sex...is that something I should explain to my fifteen-year-old niece?”

She noted the sudden tightening of his mouth, but she didn’t regret speaking candidly. If she was upset, it was with herself for foolishly hoping he’d suddenly blurt a confession that he cared for her.

But he just studied her for a long, uncomfortable moment, then stared off in the direction of Lib and Woody.

Dammit, she wished they hadn’t broached the subject now. Not out here where she couldn’t touch him. “You know, it wouldn’t be a bad idea,” she said with a teasing smile. “Letting Lib meet your brothers. Maybe she’d transfer her crush to one of them.”

He gave her a faint smile. “Am I that easy to replace?”

“No.” She shook her head, horrified at the surge of emotion that blocked her throat. She’d entered their arrangement confident that good sex was all that mattered. Building a friendship would be a bonus. But they’d already passed that point...at least she had. “I’ll talk to Liberty,” Beth said. “About going to dinner.”

Nathan nodded and flexed his hands. She knew he wanted to touch her, just as she wanted to touch him. But they couldn’t. “Liberty is on her way over here. If dinner doesn’t work out, no sweat, okay? I don’t want it causing problems—”

The way he cut off the sentence bothered her. Maybe he was having second thoughts about going so public? “I’ll call you later.”

“Any chance I’ll see you tonight?” he asked.

“I hope so.” She glanced over her shoulder and waved to Liberty, wishing they could talk now. “I want to make sure Candace will be home.”

Nathan abruptly changed the subject to the Arabians, and seconds later Liberty joined in the conversation. Beth mostly stayed quiet, observing and listening. She liked seeing the passion in Liberty’s eyes, discovering how much she’d learned from Nathan. They had forged quite a bond. And when was the last time she’d seen Lib this happy?

Beth prayed she’d stay that way.

* * *

N
ATHAN LISTENED TO
Big John’s concern about why the hay in the east barn should be moved, but he was aware the second Beth’s truck disappeared from view. He wasn’t sorry their conversation had been interrupted. Nathan didn’t think he could’ve stood another minute of watching Beth slowly withdraw from him. Sure, he knew her silence had been intended to give Liberty the floor, but there was more to it.

He was beginning to read Beth pretty well. Too often they only had time for a quick lunch in her office, a cup of coffee here and there, a few kisses, but the late-night phone conversations? He’d never done so much talking in his entire life. And one thing was perfectly clear to him—Beth would do anything to protect Liberty. Even if it meant cutting ties with him.

While he admired her loyalty and commitment, he doubted her ability to rationally assess the situation. Liberty was still a kid. He didn’t know anything about young girls’ crushes, but he knew kids had short attention spans, and that Liberty was more interested in the Arabians than anything else.

Dammit, what was he supposed to do? Discourage Liberty from hanging out with him? Stop seeing Beth before things went too far?

He was as surprised as anyone that he’d told his brother about Beth. That he was considering letting Liberty in on their secret. Now he kicked himself for even mentioning the party. What if they let the cat out of the bag and Beth decided she couldn’t handle it? It hurt like hell knowing she might kick him to the side instead of looking for another solution.

If all they had between them was sex, he wouldn’t blame her for ending things. But their relationship had crossed over to something more intimate a while ago. He felt certain she could see that, too. Neither of them had said anything, but their feelings were as clear as day, so what was there to discuss?

Maybe he was worried for nothing.

Or just maybe the situation with Candace had Beth thinking about leaving Blackfoot Falls and taking Liberty with her. The way she cared about her niece, if she thought it necessary, even having all her money tied up with the boardinghouse wouldn’t be enough to keep her here.

And neither would he.

“Well, don’t you look as happy as a pig being dragged away from a feed trough.” Woody took off his hat, glanced toward the road and scratched his head. “Want to tell me what’s going on? Big John thinks you’ve gone loco. I might have to agree.”

Nathan looked around. Big John stood near the barn shooting him puzzled looks. No wonder. He didn’t even know the guy had left. “He’s worried about the hay getting wet,” Nathan muttered.

“Yep, and he’s going to take care of it. Right now I’m more concerned about you.”

“Why? I’m fine.” He turned toward the house but stopped. “Next week is Dad’s birthday. You’re invited to dinner.”

“You going?”

Nathan nodded. He’d missed the celebration for the past two years. Time to quit being a self-absorbed ass.

“Good for you,” Woody said quietly. “You taking Beth?”

“I asked her. Told her to bring Liberty.”

“She turn you down? Is that why the long face?”

“She’s thinking about it.” Nathan shrugged, then eyed his friend. “You writing a gossip column for the
Gazette?
”

“Maybe. You got something juicy for me?”

Chuckling, Nathan shook his head. He stared up at the dark clouds coming from the north. Only a week ago he’d been studying the stars with Beth. “You think Liberty has a crush on me?”

Woody barked out a laugh. Then frowned. “Well, hells bells, I think she just might. Wouldn’t that be something? Here you being old enough to—”

“Yeah, I know.” Nathan sighed. “Big John is right. Looks like rain, maybe even snow by tonight. Let’s get the hay moved.”

“Hold on there, son. I don’t know what’s got you all twisted up inside, but whatever it is...don’t you let that gal go.”

Nathan paused, though he wasn’t about to get into a discussion about Beth. Not today. “I might not have a choice.”

Woody’s eyes narrowed. “Now, that’s something I never expected to come out of your mouth. You’re the most single-minded, bull-headed person I know. You want something, it’s as good as got. So I reckon that means I was wrong. You mustn’t want her so badly.”

The old-timer jammed his hat back on his head and ambled toward the barn. Nathan knew damn well he hadn’t heard the last of it. Woody liked to dispense words of “wisdom” whenever they popped into his head. He’d only made it a few yards before he turned and walked back to Nathan. Had to be a record, even for Woody.

“You been sitting on that pity pot so long I expect you must have a ring around your ass by now,” Woody said, holding up a gnarled finger. “Get off, Nathan. Right now. It’s past time.”

Shocked, Nathan watched his friend turn on his heel and head back to the barn. People thought he was feeling sorry for himself? What complete bullshit.

* * *

A
FTER PUTTING IT
off for two days, on Monday Beth decided she’d have that talk with Liberty. Not just about going to the birthday dinner, but about her relationship with Nathan. No, he hadn’t admitted that his feelings for her had changed, but that was because he was gun-shy after all he’d gone through with Anne. Beth wouldn’t give him a pass forever, but she could for now.

Candace wasn’t there when Beth got home from work, and shock of all shocks, Liberty was at the kitchen table doing homework. That alone justified another delay, except it wasn’t fair to Nathan. He hadn’t pushed, and in fact hadn’t even mentioned it the few times they’d talked over the weekend, but she needed to give him an answer.

While she waited for Lib to finish her history paper, Beth made grilled-cheese sandwiches and heated a can of tomato soup for their dinner. Tomorrow she’d pick up stuff for salads at the Food Mart. Maybe she’d even put together some homemade soup.

Out of her peripheral vision she saw Lib close her book and the laptop Beth had given her. “Hey...do they still teach home-ec courses in high school?”

“What’s that?”

“Guess that answers my question.” Beth would’ve been surprised if the program still existed. She’d only wanted to start some conversation. “You want to learn how to cook?”