Behind Closed Doors (15 page)

“It just goes to show, some things never change. Don’t get me wrong. Not all white people are like that, because I’ve got two close friends from where I used to work who treat me no different than anybody else. And you know how down-to-earth my nail tech is. But there are always going to be those certain ones who have all blacks stereotyped the same way,” Karen said, taking notice of the cookie shop they were passing by. She decided against going in it, though.

“I swear. You’d never know it was 1995 with the way some white people act.”

“No, really you wouldn’t.”

“Shit like that makes me want to hurt somebody,” Regina said.

“Yeah, I know, but what sense would it make for you to be sitting behind bars, when the rest of this racist world would still be out here doing their thing.”

They stopped in front of the jewelry store that they’d been forced to take their business to. A nice-looking, im
maculately dressed black man, probably in his early thirties, was standing behind the counter.

“Well, well, well,” Regina said, turning to look at Karen. “I guess we don’t have to worry about any stereotyping up in here, now do we?”

Karen laughed. “Girl, shut up, and let’s go in.”

“Good afternoon, ladies,” the salesman said as they entered the store.

“Hello,” Regina and Karen said in unison.

“Is there something you’re looking for in particular?” he asked, smiling.

“Actually, there is,” Regina answered. “I’d like to see your diamond tennis bracelets.”

“If you’ll follow me over here, I’ll show them to you.”

Regina set her bag down when they arrived at the next showcase. She spotted the one she was interested in almost immediately and pointed toward it. “Could I see that one?”

“Sure.” He pulled the bracelet out and, unlike the previous salesclerk, placed it around her wrist and clasped it for her.

“Yeah, this is nice,” Regina said. “What do you think about this one?” she continued, gearing the question toward Karen.

“It’s just as sharp as the other one, and it seems like it’s the same weight as the other one too. I like it.”

“What’s the price on this one?” Regina asked him.

“We’ve got a fifty-percent-off sale going on, so it would be half of the price on the tag,” he said.

That was typical, Karen thought. Whenever one jewelry store in the mall had a sale, the others always seemed to follow suit. Had to, though, to be competitive, she guessed.

He lifted the price tag. “It’s seven thousand dollars, so the sale price is thirty-five hundred.”

“Hmmm. That’s two-fifty more than the one I just looked at down the mall,” Regina said. She was going to buy it regardless, but there was no sense in letting him know too soon. If she held out long enough, maybe he’d meet his competitor’s price.

He didn’t say anything.

And neither did Regina.

Karen was at the other end of the store, browsing the watches.

“This bracelet is definitely you,” he said.

“Yeah, I really like it, but two-fifty is two-fifty,” Regina said, unsnapping the bracelet.

“What if I meet the other store’s price? Will you buy it then?”

“I sure will.”

“Fine, let me take it over here, so I can ring you up.”

Regina passed her credit card across the counter as Karen walked toward her. “So, you decided to get it, huh?”

“I sure did.”

“So, where do you want to go now?” Karen asked.

“I’m with you. You still have to find an outfit, don’t you?”

“Yeah. I was thinking about going into Field’s, and although Nordstrom is probably too expensive, I want to check out what they have too.”

“I need to go into Field’s anyway, because there’s this red Coach handbag I’ve been wanting to—”

“Excuse me, I don’t mean to interrupt, but I need to get your signature on the dotted line,” the salesman said.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was so busy talking, I wasn’t paying attention,” Regina said.

He slipped her receipt inside the plastic drawstring bag and handed it to her. “Thanks for shopping with us. I hope you enjoy it.”

“It’s such a beautiful bracelet that you can’t help but enjoy it,” Regina said.

“A beautiful bracelet for a beautiful lady,” he said.

Regina smiled. When she stepped outside the store, she couldn’t help but look back to see if he was still watching her, and he was. She smiled again and kept walking until they were out of his sight.

“I haven’t seen you blush like that since—”

“Since the time I met Larry. Shit, what can I say, that brother back there looked good.”

Karen waited for Regina to add the part about him being dark, but she didn’t.

“Yeah, he was definitely nice looking, but you’re still married, my dear.”

“Hmmph. By paperwork only.”

“Whoa. What’s up with you?”

“Nothing, except I’m finally starting to wake up. I thought I was doing fine on Monday, but then I got depressed all over again after that incident over at Marilyn’s. But today I feel good and like I can get on with
my life. It’s only been two weeks since he walked out, but a lot has happened, and I’ve been doing some serious praying. The best thing you could have done was call me this morning, because I really needed to get out of that house. But, as usual, you always know the right thing to do when it comes to me and my problems.”

“I’ve been praying for you myself, and I’m glad you’re feeling a lot better.”

They walked through Marshall Field’s cosmetics entrance.

“I know you’re not serious about getting another Coach, are you?” Karen asked Regina in disbelief.

“Oh, yes I am.”

“Girl, if you keep it up, you’re going to spend five thousand dollars before we even leave here.”

“Shit, that’s what I’m planning on doing anyway. You can even charge that shorts set if you want to. And after we leave the mall, I need you to stop by my bank, so I can request a five-thousand-dollar cash advance.”

“Girl, what are you going to do with five thousand dollars cash? Larry is still paying the bills like he said, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. But so what? All I know is that this Visa of his has a ten-thousand-dollar credit line, and I’m going to charge up every dime of it. Shit. Let him do some worrying for a change.”

“Girl, he’s going to die when he gets that bill next month.”

“Maybe. But to tell you the honest truth, I really don’t give a damn.

A
FTER SCRUBBING THE TUB
and sink in the master bathroom, Karen removed a pair of white rubber gloves from her hands, rinsed them off, hung them from the shower nozzle to dry, and walked into the bedroom. Merry Maids cleaned the house once every two weeks, but this didn’t happen to be one of them. She’d thought about increasing the number of visits, but right now, that didn’t seem logical, with John gambling the way he was. The budget was tight enough, and all she’d be doing was making things harder for herself in the long run.

She sat down on the bed and wondered if he’d gone to that meeting last night like he’d promised. He hadn’t gone any other nights during the week, but that was her fault. She’d allowed him to sleep over Monday through Thursday, and it was obvious that he no longer saw an incentive to go. The man had gotten too comfortable for
his own good, which is why she’d had to put her foot down when she’d spoken to him yesterday afternoon: No more sleepovers until he was consistently going to those Gamblers Anonymous meetings.

She hated to call his mother’s house, but she needed to know if he’d done what he was supposed to. She dialed the number without even thinking about it. It was funny how she never used this number unless it was absolutely necessary but knew it well enough not to have to look it up. But then, for as long as she could remember, she’d never forgotten any phone number that she’d dialed at least once. Her memory for numbers was strong, and that was probably why she’d been so successful with a career in finance.

“Hello?” John’s mother said.

Shoot, she’d been hoping John would answer, because she wasn’t in the mood for dealing with this woman who was already sounding like she was mad at the world. “Hi, how are you?” Karen asked out of courtesy.

“Fine. I’m on a long-distance phone call, so you’ll have to call back. I think John is asleep, anyway.” Click.

Oooh. She’d switched back over to her other conversation without as much as saying, “Bye, I’ll tell him you called, I’ll tell him to call you,” or anything. Karen slammed the phone on the hook. That woman made her sick, and she had better be damned glad that Karen’s mother had taught her early on to respect her elders. She didn’t know how John was putting up with the old bat. Living with a mother like that was something she wouldn’t
have wished on an enemy. John was a good one. Much better than she could have been, that was for sure.

She picked up the phone again to dial Regina until she remembered her saying her yearly physical was scheduled for nine-thirty. What a terrible way to start a Saturday morning, Karen thought, but better she than her.

After straightening the covers on her bed, vacuuming every room on the upstairs level, and throwing a load of clothes in the washing machine, she sat down in the great room and dialed John again.

“Hello?” It was her again.

“Hi, is John there?” Karen said, trying to keep her composure.

John’s mother sighed deeply. “I don’t see whatcha call-in’ him for. The best thang you coulda done was put him out. He just don’t know it yet. See, I knew this day was comin’ from the very beginning.”

Karen didn’t want to get into it with this woman, so she ignored her. “Do you mind if I speak to John, please?”

“If he had only listened to me and not married you. Lord knows he wouldn’t be going through anythang like this.”

She was trying Karen’s patience, and Karen didn’t know how much more of this she could stand without blowing up. “Look, Mrs. Jackson, are you going to let me speak to him or not?”

“Let me tell you one thang, my baby will always have a place to stay as long as I’m breathin’. He’s much better
off with me anyway. Why don’t you just leave him alone?”

This woman was sounding like some crazy person and, the more Karen thought about it, like a jealous girlfriend. She was acting as if she were in some kind of competition with her son’s own wife. Karen wished she would get a life, keep her bossy self out of their business, and figure out that her “baby” was thirty-nine and not five. If she didn’t, she was going to get her feelings hurt. This thing with respecting elders could only go so far.

Karen was just about to hang up when she heard John in the background asking who was on the phone. When his mother didn’t answer him, he went and picked up another extension. “Karen?”

“Yeah, it’s me.”

“Mama, you can hang up now,” John said. “I’ve got it.”

She didn’t budge.

“Mama, I said you can hang up,” he repeated. Impatience flowed through his voice. He was clearly upset.

She blasted the phone on the hook, and Karen smiled. That’s what his mother got for meddling in other folks’ business. Served her right. She’d needed to be put in her place from the moment Karen had called, and she was glad John had taken care of it.

“You think we can spend the day together?” John asked, chomping at the bit.

“I’m fine. How are you?” Karen said, laughing.

He laughed too. “How are you, baby? I didn’t mean to
be rude, but I don’t want to waste any time. I want to be over there by noon.”

“Did you go to your meeting last night?”

John paused. Whenever he did that, it meant his reply wasn’t going to be promising. “Well, actually, I didn’t, because I fell asleep, and when I woke up, it was too late.”

Karen’s spirits dropped instantly. He just didn’t mean to take care of this problem of his. How was she ever going to get through to him? After all this, he was still blowing the whole thing off like it wasn’t serious. Now she was wondering if he’d gone to the track yesterday. “So, what did you do yesterday? I mean, where did you go after work? And you know what I’m talking about.”

“I didn’t go play the horses, if that’s what you mean. I didn’t deposit any money in the checking account, but I’ve got $700 cash here to give you today.”

Oh, now he was going to use money as an excuse to see her. She couldn’t believe he’d even stoop low enough to try something like that. But it was working, though. “You promised you’d go to a meeting, John. And since when do you fall asleep that early on a Friday evening? You haven’t done that since I’ve been married to you.”

“I was bored, I guess. I didn’t have anything to do. You said I couldn’t spend the night with you, so I came to my mother’s and fell asleep. That was that.”

“Can’t you see that if you don’t do this, you’re going
to be right back out there messing up your money again?”

“Let’s talk about it when I get there.”

She’d known that was coming. Especially since she was cornering him between two walls. He never liked that. “Fine, but you’re not spending the night, so don’t even plan on it.”

He didn’t even acknowledge that last comment. “I’ll see you around noon. You want me to pick up something for lunch?”

“It’s too early for me. But we can pick up something later if you want.”

“I’ll see you then.”

“I can’t believe you’re still runnin’ behind that woman after she put you out the way she did,” John’s mother screamed out in the background. She’d obviously been listening to his conversation all along and had been waiting for the opportune time to throw her two cents in.

“Look, Mama. Karen is my wife, and I’m sick of you disrespecting her. Don’t make me choose between you and my wife, because if you do, you won’t like the outcome. I’m sick of every time I turn around, you’re sticking your nose into my business. This is going to have to stop. I’m not some little kid.”

Ha, ha, and double ha, ha. This was getting good, and Karen was loving every bit of what she was hearing. “Hey. I’ll see you when you get here,” she said and hung up the phone. She laughed so hard that she fell
back on the sofa. She lay there cracking up for two whole minutes.

A
S USUAL
, John was looking casually fine. Karen smiled as she watched him step out of the BMW and walk toward the garage, which was already open. He was dressed in a beige, short-sleeved pullover by Perry Ellis, a pair of perfectly starched Silvertab Levi’s, and a pair of black, toe-enclosed huarache sandals. She shook her head in amazement. It was strange how so many positive aspects could be wrapped up in one man. A gorgeous face, skin like a baby’s, a size thirty-two waist, and the best sense of humor. Not to mention the fact that he dressed impeccably and always smelled good. It was nothing for him to dish out fifty to sixty dollars for a bottle of cologne to replenish his expensive stock of fragrances, and when it came to a piece of clothing, price was no object as long as he was sure he’d look good in it. But then, it was that same reasoning that was the cause of their separation. If only he could value a dollar the same as his physical characteristics. If he did, he’d be batting a thousand.

John entered through the kitchen and went into the great room, where Karen was standing. He walked over to her.

“Hey, baby,” he said, hugging her, then kissing her on the lips.

“Hey,” she said. It felt so good to be in his arms. She’d
just seen the man two days ago, but it felt like two weeks. Gosh, she wished he would take those GA meetings more seriously so they could get their marriage back on track, because this current situation was too unstable for her. His visits were starting to feel like those of some boyfriend dropping in to see how his new girlfriend was doing.

“Damn,” he said, stepping away from her. “You’re looking especially fine this afternoon. Is that new?” he asked, checking her out from head to toe.

“I bought the shirt yesterday when Regina and I went shopping, and you know I’ve had these jeans forever.” She was wearing a sleeveless indigo jean shirt, a pair of comfortably snug Guess jeans, and a pair of metallic-gold slip-on sandals.

“So, what’s up for today?” he asked. “You want to go to a movie or something?” He sat down on the sofa, picked up the Saturday edition of the
Daily Herald,
and started skimming through it.

“I guess we could. Although I don’t know if anything good is playing or not.” She sat down on the love seat adjacent to him and rested her foot on the edge of it. “I want to talk to you first, though, before we go.”

He didn’t say anything and didn’t look up from the paper, which meant he had a pretty good idea where the conversation was headed.

“What I want to know is when you plan on going to a meeting? I hate to keep pressuring you, but you know you have to do this.”

“I think there’s one tomorrow evening, so I’ll probably try to catch that one.”

“Try?” She didn’t like his choice of words.

“You know what I mean. Don’t even worry about it. I’ll go.”

“You’ve been claiming that all week, and still you haven’t gotten there yet. I just don’t understand you. Gambling is no different than alcohol or drugs. Once it becomes an addiction, you have to seek outside help. You can’t do this alone, because if you could, you wouldn’t be throwing away large sums of money like you do.”

“I haven’t gone to the track in over two weeks now, and you know it.”

“Yeah, only because I asked you to move out. But if I said you could move back in today, you’d be at that track first thing next Friday, right after work.”

“No, I wouldn’t. I’ve given that whole gambling thing up. You just don’t believe it,” he said, setting the paper down, leaning to one side on the sofa, and pulling out the brown leather wallet Karen had bought him last Christmas.

She’d been sort of skeptical when he’d said he had $700 left from the paycheck he’d received yesterday. It had almost been too good to be true, but now, he was actually about to give it to her, and suddenly she felt a huge amount of relief.

“Here’s the money for you to deposit,” he said, passing her a stack of one-hundred-dollar bills folded in half.

She put it on the glass coffee table, pretending like it was no big deal, though what she really wanted to do was
count them. But then, that would look like she didn’t trust him, so she decided against it. On a more positive note, though, these one-hundred-dollar bills meant she wouldn’t have to make another unnecessary withdrawal from the credit union. “Thanks.”

“Why don’t you just admit it, I’m a good person,” he said, going back to the paper. “How many men do you know would still be giving their wives money to pay bills, even though they’ve been kicked out of the house? Most people would think I’m some kind of fool.”

“I don’t know why they would, because you own fifty percent of everything we have, just like I do. And just because you’re not staying here doesn’t mean you don’t have any responsibility. I mean, it’s not like I’m taking your money and spending it on myself. I’m using this money to pay the bills that we’ve both made,” she said, staring at him. She was starting to get upset.

“Shit, you don’t have to get mad about it,” he said irritably. “I was just making a point.”

She didn’t say anything, because he didn’t sound anything like the man who’d been in beg mode for the past three weeks. He was upset. And anyway, he was probably right when he said most men wouldn’t give their wives any money, although she didn’t see any reason to let him know that she agreed with him.

He dropped the last section of the newspaper next to him on the sofa. “It’s still too early to catch a matinee, so let’s go get something to eat. I’m starving.”

That was just like him to carry on as if there hadn’t
been one ounce of tension between the two of them just a minute ago, and since she didn’t feel like arguing anyway, she followed his lead. “That’s fine, but I want to wait until the mailman gets here, so I can check the bank statement. When I called the automated teller last night, the bank’s balance seemed to be way off from the one in the checkbook. He should be here in a few minutes, though. Then we can leave.”

“Is there anything good in the refrigerator?” he asked, heading into the kitchen. “I at least need something to tide me over.”

“Some juice and a few cold cuts. That’s about it. I haven’t gone grocery shopping since you moved out.”

“What else is new,” he said, laughing. “Doesn’t make any sense to buy any food, if you don’t plan on cooking it.”

“Shut up,” she said and chuckled.