Behind Closed Doors (18 page)

She’d forgotten all about that. She chuckled quietly and said, “Do you always memorize the names on every credit card you see?”

“No, actually I don’t. But there was something special about you, and I couldn’t help but remember the name.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes. Really.”

“Well, to make a long story short, we’re about to go through a divorce, so I guess you could say I’m married, but not for long.”

“I’m sorry things didn’t work out for you. It’s never an easy thing when two people have to break up.”

Regina didn’t say anything, but she wondered if maybe he’d gone through a divorce himself, since it sounded like he understood what she was experiencing.

“It really feels good, holding you like this,” he said.

Regina didn’t know if she was ready for such straightforwardness and decided not to respond.

“I didn’t say anything out of line, did I?” he asked.

“No. Why’d you think that?”

“Because you’re not saying anything.”

Hmmph. Actually, she had a lot to say, but she wasn’t about to let him know it. He felt good to her too, and to be honest, she wished the dance would never end. That she could lie in his arms from now until the end of time. “No. You didn’t say anything out of line.”

“Good. Because the last thing I want to do is upset you.”

Regina glanced over at their table and caught Karen’s eye. They smiled at each other. Regina had been so caught up in her conversation with Malcolm that she hadn’t even noticed Karen returning from the ladies’ room. She couldn’t wait to tell her how attracted she was to Malcolm and how comfortable she felt with him. It was almost too good to be true. And although she hated to think about it, she wondered if it was.

When the song ended, TLC’s “Red Light Special” began with no break in between. Regina and Malcolm kept slow dancing.

K
AREN LOOKED AWAY
from the dance floor and saw a petite-sized waitress approaching her.

“Can I get you anything?” the waitress asked.

Karen was already starting to get bored and decided
that maybe if she had a drink, things might liven up a bit. “Sure. I’ll have a citrus wine cooler. Whatever brand you have is fine.” Karen never usually drank, so the label on the beverage really didn’t matter to her.

When the waitress walked away, Karen scanned the room again. This place wasn’t nearly as exciting as she’d thought it would be. And although she dreaded admitting it, it wasn’t the same without John. Damn him for ruining their marriage.

As the waitress set the drink down on the table, Karen pulled money out of her purse and paid her. But when the waitress started to walk away again, she sensed someone standing behind her, and she turned around. It was John.

He pulled around the chair Regina had been sitting in and sat down. “Hey, we need to talk, and I’m not taking no for an answer.”

Karen was shocked to see him and couldn’t believe how pushy he was acting. This wasn’t his way of handling things, and she wondered what had gotten into him.

“How’d you know where I was?”

“That’s not important,” John said, pulling her up from the table by her wrist.

Karen jerked her arm away from him. “I just know you’re not trying to strong-arm me. You must be out of your damn mind, because I’m not going anywhere with you.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean to grab you like that, but we really do need to talk.”

“What I want to know is how you knew where I was. What have you been doing? Spying on me?”

“Damn it, Karen. What difference does it make?”

“It makes a lot of difference to me.”

“I called Regina to talk to her about us, and she told me you were coming down here. Now, are you satisfied?”

“Regina had no right doing that, and you had no right calling her.”

“She’s your best friend. You’ve never had a problem with me talking to Regina before, so what’s the problem now?”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong. I have no problem with you talking to her, I just don’t want you guys scheming behind my back,” Karen said, staring straight at Regina, who was smiling. Karen furnished her with a dirty look and glanced in another direction.

“Karen, please. You know good and well we weren’t scheming behind your back. Why don’t you stop acting like this and just come outside with me.”

Karen was getting pissed off, and since she didn’t want to show her ass in front of a bunch of strangers, she figured it was best to go outside like John wanted. They strolled a ways down the street until they were alone.

“Look,” Karen said. “I’ve given you chance after chance to correct your shit, but you’ve refused to do it. You knew what the consequences were, but you kept doing what you were doing, anyway. You made your bed and now you have to lie in it. It’s as simple as that.”

“I haven’t gone to the track since the day I made that
last withdrawal, which was over a week and a half ago. I knew it was wrong, and I haven’t done anything like that since. I went too far that time, and I’m aware of it. I told you I was going to go to one of those meetings tomorrow, and I meant it. I’m not here to beg you, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let you end things between us without getting a chance to explain myself.”

“I don’t see what you have to explain. You’ve thrown a ton of money away, and as far as I’m concerned, that sums up everything. You have a problem, and when a person has a problem, they do whatever it takes to remedy the situation.”

“It’s not that easy. You don’t understand, because you don’t have any unusual problems or an obsessive personality like I do. When I gave up cigarettes, I became addicted to caffeine. Do you realize I drink at least six to seven cups of coffee every day? When I saw that the lottery wasn’t paying off, I started going to the track. Whenever I give up one obsession I search and search until I find some other outlet. It’s not about becoming rich from betting on the horses, it’s about being obsessed with winning. It gives me a sense of satisfaction that I can’t even explain. It’s almost like getting high. Like I’m living on the edge. I can’t explain why I do it, but when I’m inside Arlington and I’m waiting for those horses to race around that track, I get a feeling like I’ve never felt before. And as much as I hate to say it, not even you can give me that. It’s a sickness, and I know that now.”

Karen couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It was as
though he was finally reaching out to her. He’d never confessed his feelings like this before, and she wasn’t sure how she should respond. She waited for him to continue.

“Baby, please. Just wait for me. I know after what you found out today you’re probably wanting to divorce me, but I’m asking you to give me some time to get myself together. Once I get more involved with Gamblers Anonymous, I know things will be different. I wish I could have started way before now, but I just couldn’t see it. I mean, I knew I had a problem, but I honestly believed I could handle it. And if it makes any difference to you, I didn’t blow the entire fifteen hundred dollars. I used the money from that second withdrawal to get the transmission on the Beamer repaired.”

She couldn’t believe it. He’d actually done something logical with part of the money he’d taken from the account. This was good news, and it made her feel just a little better about all of this.

“I love you more than anything,” she finally said. “But I can’t live my life like this anymore. The last thing I ever wanted to do was be separated from you, but at the time, I didn’t see any other way,” she said, holding back what was sure to be huge crocodile tears if she released them.

John took her in his arms. “I love you, baby, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let gambling cause our marriage to break up,” he said, sniffling.

Was he crying? She couldn’t remember if he’d ever done that in front of her before. Maybe when someone had died, but never over something like this. She hugged him
tight, and for the first time in a while, she could tell she was doing the right thing. He’d taken $1,500 from their accounts, and there was no way she could merely pretend it hadn’t happened, but she was willing to stand by his side as long as he attended those meetings religiously.

Her mother had been advising her over and over again to work with John on his problem, but she’d never taken her seriously, until now. As far as Karen had been concerned, this was John’s problem, and it was up to him to be a man and take care of it. But now she had to admit that maybe that hadn’t been the right attitude, especially since she had a certain responsibility when it came to their marriage, the same as he did. She’d promised to stay with him in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, for better or worse, and it was time she acted like it.

“Hey,” John said, grabbing both sides of her face with his hands and gazing straight into her eyes. “Don’t be mad at Regina. She was only doing what she thought was right. She doesn’t want to see us apart, and that’s why she tried to get us together tonight.”

“Yeah. I know. I’d better go back in there so I can apologize for looking at her the way I did. She probably thinks I’m a real bitch.”

They walked back down to the club and went inside.

“Why don’t you tell her that you’re going to leave with me,” John said.

Karen looked at him indecisively, because she wasn’t sure if she should leave with him or not. On the one hand, she couldn’t wait to spend the night with him, but on the
other, she was scared shitless that he might not hold up his end of the deal by going to that meeting tomorrow. She decided to take her chances, though. “Are you ready now, or do you want to stay a while longer?” Karen asked.

“I’m ready whenever you are.”

Karen beckoned for Regina to meet her halfway across the room.

“You know you really pushed it this time, don’t you?” Karen asked, smiling.

“Girl, please. I knew you would have been upset if you’d known what I was up to, but I just couldn’t stand the thought of you and John not being together. It didn’t make any sense.”

“Well, we had a long talk, and I think things are about to fall back into place with us, so I guess instead of being mad at you for sticking your nose into our business, I should be thanking you. Actually, the best thing you could have done was bring me here, because it didn’t take more than a few minutes for me to look around and realize that I definitely don’t want to go back to the dating scene, and I definitely don’t want to give up a man who loves me the way John does.”

Regina laughed. “I’m glad you finally came to your senses. With your stubborn self.”

Karen rolled her eyes and laughed. “John and I are getting ready to leave, so I wanted to come let you know,” Karen said, glancing over at Malcolm. “And from what I can see, three’s a crowd, anyway. It doesn’t look like you need me at all.”

“Girl, please. I’ll have to call you tomorrow and fill you in, but the one thing I can tell you right now, is that he’s got it going on. And I feel like I’ve known him my entire life. He’s such a sweetheart. I could sit and talk with him all night and still have a shitload of conversation left over. Oh, and guess what? You won’t believe this. Remember how skeptical I was about him being a salesclerk?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Well, a few minutes ago, he told me that he owns the jewelry store we were in and three others located in the surrounding area. The only reason he was working yesterday was that his manager all of a sudden quit, and he hasn’t had a chance to hire a new one. Can you believe that? I mean, shoot.”

“I guess you never know, do you? But actually we should have known something was up when we saw how sharp he was dressed yesterday, not to mention that suit he’s got on right now. No salesclerk could afford that type of clothing.”

“That’s for sure. Well, I better get back over to the table, because Malcolm is the last person I want to keep waiting.”

“Don’t forget to call me tomorrow when you wake up. That is, if you’re alone,” Karen said and laughed.

“Girl, shut up. It’s not even like that. At least not yet, anyway. You and John have a good time,” Regina said, hugging Karen.

“We will. I love you, and thanks again for doing what you did for John and me. You have no idea how much it means.”

A
FTER ARRIVING HOME
from the club the previous night, Karen and John had laughed, reminisced, and made love until sometime after three in the morning. It was now ten o’clock. Karen was lying across the bed on her stomach listening to Pam, the gospel music DJ for V103, and John was in the shower.

He’d phoned his mother just before getting out of bed, letting her know that he was moving back home and that he’d be at her place around noon to move his things. Something he probably wished he hadn’t done, since the woman had thrown the pissiest fit of all times. Karen had actually heard her screaming at him through the phone. She’d sounded like some woman who’d just recently discovered that her husband was leaving her for another woman. And to Karen, that was about the craziest shit she’d ever heard of. Hell, she was his mother, not his
wife. If she’d said it once, she’d said it a thousand times: The woman needed to get a life. Needed someone to rock her little world. To put it plainly, she needed something she obviously hadn’t had in a very long time: hot, buck-wild sex.

Karen felt guilty for having such devilish thoughts like that on a Sunday morning, but the woman always seemed to bring out the worst in her. It had always been that way, and as far as she could see, it was never going to change.

As she rolled over on her back, the phone rang. It rang a second time before she finally picked it up. “Hello?”

“Hi, Auntie Karen,” her niece whispered. “It’s me. Shaniqua.”

Karen couldn’t remember one time when Shaniqua had ever sounded like she was sneaking to make a phone call to her. Something had to be wrong. “Hi, sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m fine.”

“What are you doing calling me this early on a Sunday morning, little girl?” Karen tried to sound cheerful and unworried.

“My mommy is pregnant again,” Shaniqua said without delay and in a lower tone of voice than before.

A wave of nervousness and frustration flashed through Karen’s body, and her eyes were already filling with water. “Maybe you heard her wrong, sweetheart.”

“No. I didn’t, Auntie Karen. She and Daddy were arguing about it last night.”

Karen had warned Sheila at least a hundred times about having adult conversations in front of those children, and still the girl hadn’t stopped doing it. She was afraid to even ask what else Shaniqua had heard, but she went ahead anyway. “Why were they arguing?”

“Because my daddy doesn’t want my mommy to have any more babies, and he wants her to have an abortion. What’s an abortion, Auntie Karen?”

Dear God. That was why the poor little thing had called. She’d probably been awake most of the night trying her hardest to figure out what an abortion was. Karen didn’t have the slightest idea as to how she was supposed to answer her niece’s question. She didn’t have any kids, and until now, she’d never had to worry about anything like this. “It’s really a grown-folks’ word and something you should talk to your mom about.”

Shaniqua was quiet.

Karen figured she’d better say something. “Don’t think you did anything wrong by asking me about it, because you didn’t. It’s just that I think it’ll be better if your mom explains it to you. I’ll call and talk to her about it later. Now, are you going to be all right?”

“Uh-huh,” Shaniqua said, sounding sweet, innocent, and slightly confused.

“We’d better hang up now, so the phone bill won’t be so high. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“I love you, honey.”

“I love you too, Auntie Karen.”

As soon as Karen laid the phone on the hook, tears flowed down her face. Why was this happening? And what in the world was Sheila going to do with a fourth mouth to feed? She was having a hard enough time trying to feed the three she already had. If only she’d had her tubes tied, like Karen had suggested. Couldn’t Sheila see that she was making things harder not just for herself but for her children as well?

John stepped out of the bathroom with a towel gathered around his waist and saw that Karen’s face was wet. “What’s the matter, baby?” he asked, moving closer to her. He sat down on the bed and hugged her as tightly as he could. “What’s wrong?”

Karen sniffled a couple of times, swallowed, and took a deep breath. “Sheila’s pregnant again.”

“What? Baby, I’m so sorry,” he said, rubbing her back. “What is she going to do?”

“I don’t know, but Shaniqua says she heard Terrance trying to talk her into having an abortion.”

“What does Shaniqua know about having an abortion?”

“She doesn’t, and I’m pretty sure that’s why she called me.”

“I don’t know what to say, baby. I thought your sister knew better than to let something like this happen again.”

“Yeah, I did too, or at least that’s what I’d been hoping.”

“Does your mother know yet?”

“I doubt it. I guess I better call her now. I hate to even
tell her, because she’s been saying all along that something like this was going to happen.”

“Are you going to be okay?”

“I’ll be fine. Go on and finish getting dressed.”

He kissed her on the forehead and went back into the bathroom.

She picked up the phone again and dialed her mother’s number.

“Hello?” Lucinda answered.

“Hi, Mom,” Karen said, trying to sound upbeat. “How are you?”

“Fine. How are you?”

“Everything’s good. John and I have worked things out, and he’s moving his things back home this afternoon.”

“I’m so glad to hear that. I’ve got some good news for you, too.”

Lucinda was sounding so happy that Karen knew it had to be something big. “What’s going on?”

“Well, you know Richard has been pressing me about marriage, but I’ve been putting him off.”

“Yeah. And?”

“I told him last night that I was finally ready.”

“Oh, Mom, that’s great. I have no doubt that you’re making the right decision. He’s a good man.”

“Yes, he is. It’s a big step, and it’s kind of scary, but I decided that I don’t want to mess around and lose somebody that treats me as well as he does.”

“So, when is the big day?”

“Probably sometime in August. It’ll be a small ceremony, but I will need you to be my matron of honor.”

“You know that’s not a problem. We’ll have to sit down next weekend and start planning the reception.”

“Well, I don’t want to rush you off the phone, but I’d better get back to doing my makeup before Richard gets here. We’re going to church.”

“Okay. I’ll talk to you later on tonight.”

“Bye,” Lucinda said and hung up.

Karen shook her head. She’d wanted desperately to tell her mother about Sheila, but she just couldn’t bring herself to say anything that was going to ruin one of the best days of her mother’s life. It was better to wait and break the news to her tomorrow.