Behind His Eyes - Convicted: The Missing Years (33 page)

“We’re doing fine,” he said. “I’ll admit I miss being able to just ask her questions, but I’m an attorney. I love research and paperwork. Now, I’ve got more things to research.”

“I think it’s strange that she just decided to leave?” Though the inflection of her tone turned her statement into a question, John chose to let it go.

“Oh,” John said, “Before I forget, we’re getting together with Harry Baldwin tomorrow night. He’s going be in town and wants to talk to us.”

“Harry’s going to be in Iowa? Why?”

“He didn’t say.”

“I don’t know what to say to him… about Amber. I’m shocked.”

John agreed, as the two fell silent and listened to the peaceful sounds of the Iowa night. For a few minutes they could forget about Claire’s troubles, the fear over Nichol’s future, Anthony’s impending release, and even Mr. Bunny’s mitten. For a few moments, they could be husband and wife and enjoy each other’s company.

Hoping that it would make Harry more comfortable, Emily offered to have their get-together at their home. “I can make dinner. It’ll be like old times,” she suggested.

“Yes, old times—with two children running here and there,” John replied.

She shrugged. “All right, new times, but it’ll be more private.”

John gave her a kiss, as he readied for work. “I’ll let him know.”

That evening after John came home, Harry arrived to their house. They hadn’t seen him for almost two years, yet he’d aged beyond that. His carefree appearance was hidden behind a new mask of worry and concern. His blue eyes appeared clouded with angst. John knew the burdened feeling, too well. It hadn’t been that long ago that he carried the same look. Seeing Harry reminded John that despite it all, their lives had improved.

“Harry, we’re so sorry about Amber,” Emily offered, as she led him to the screened porch. The shaded room with the softly rotating ceiling fan offered them the beauty of the outdoors with a refreshing breeze. “We’re very familiar with false accusations. Hopefully, during the trial—”

Harry shook his head, and replied, “Thank you, time will tell; however, it doesn’t look promising.”

Emily offered a reassuring hug. “I’m sorry. I’m sure it was a shock.”

“It was. It’s actually made me rethink a lot of my choices, kind of a life inventory.”

Just then, the shrill ring of children’s laughter resonated from beyond the porch. “The kids are playing with their nanny in the side yard,” John explained with a grin.

Light returned to Harry’s blue eyes. “I bet they’re getting big. I’ve never met your son. Michael? Is that right?”

“It is. He’s almost two. It’s hard to believe,” John said.

“And Nichol?” Harry asked.

“She’ll be three in December, and she’s beautiful,” Emily offered with pride.

“I bet she is. She has a beautiful mother.” Harry’s words carried a wave of sadness. “How is Claire doing?”

John looked at Emily, deferring to her. Even with the closest of friends she was apprehensive about sharing information.

“She hasn’t changed much since you saw her last,” Emily began. “I don’t share it with many people, but since you two were close, I will. As much as I want to be positive, most research suggests that if recovery doesn’t happen within the first twelve months, it’s unlikely.”

Harry nodded. “I’ve looked into traumatic brain injury, too.”

Taking Emily’s lead, John went on. “However, Claire’s doctor heard this professor from Princeton speak at some medical conference. He has research showing recovery as late as four years post psychotic break. The NFL and its problems with CTE (chronic traumatic encephalopathy) has really spawned a surge in research into TBI recovery.”

“Yes, I honestly think of Claire every time I see something about it on the news,” Harry said.

“Emily’s agreed to allow this doctor to review Claire’s information and run some more tests. Once he’s done with that, we’re supposed to meet with him and hear what he has to say.”

Harry’s forehead wrinkled. “So this is good information?”

Emily feigned a grin. “We hope so, but I don’t like to get my hopes up.”

“It’s the most encouraging news we’ve heard in a while. And now it’s great to see you.”

“Yes,” Emily said, “We need to catch up, and dinner is almost ready.”

After lighthearted dinner conversation, where Nichol and Michael entertained and the adults reminisced, the three friends enjoyed a glass of wine back on the porch. “Your home is beautiful. How do you like living in Iowa?”

“Better than we expected,” Emily said. “It’s not as exciting as living in California, and I’m okay with that. It actually reminds me a lot of Indiana.”

Harry nodded. “I remember Claire saying the same thing.”

“I get the feeling you wanted to tell us something, Harry? I mean, who just comes to Iowa?” John asked.

Harry leaned forward in his chair. “I actually have a lot I want to say, but I’m thinking I should just leave instead.”

Emily’s questioning expression met John’s, before she asked, “Is it something about Amber?”

Harry inhaled. “Please, listen to everything before you comment. Let me explain it all.”

John reached for Emily’s hand. “We’re listening,” he said.

“I’m moving to North Carolina. I’ll go back to California for Amber’s trial, but like I said, I’ve been doing some re-evaluation of things. I-I, damn, this is harder than I thought.”

Emily’s voice softened. “Harry, I have no idea what you’re going to say, but it’s all right. We’re your friends. You’ve been great to us and to Claire. You can tell us anything.”

“See, that’s the thing. I haven’t been. Not really. Not to Claire and not to you. I haven’t been honest. It wasn’t that I wanted to be dishonest. It’s that it was my job. And I say
was
because I’ve quit my job. They call it retiring, but I’m not exactly of retirement age.”

“You quit your job with the CBI?” John asked.

“No,” Harry went on, “with the FBI. I’ve been an agent with the Federal Bureau of Investigation for almost ten years.”

“My grandfather was with the FBI,” Emily said. Her brows knit together. “He did undercover work. Is that what you’ve been doing? Oh, my God, is your name really Harry? Is Amber really your sister?”

“My name is Harrison Baldwin and Amber is my half-sister; we share a mother. This was a very unusual case.”

John’s voice deepened. “
What
was an unusual case? Amber?”

Harry shook his head, “Amber was a byproduct. My assignment was Claire.”

Emily gasped.

“Please, let me continue. I’m telling you all of this because we have become friends. I value your friendship and I wanted to apologize.”

“For lying?” Emily asked.

“I was doing my job. I wasn’t lying, but I feel responsible for Chester’s attack on Claire. I was the one who took her to him. It was a lead I wanted to follow, and I thought if she were with me… I shouldn’t have done it. I had no idea I was putting her in danger.”

“He attacked her because of
him
, not you,” Emily refuted.

“Chester would never have known about Claire if it weren’t for me. There’s more. I saw Claire in Europe before she and Rawlings went into hiding. I talked with her. She knows that I’m an agent, and she told me in no uncertain terms to leave.” He grinned. “I wish she’d tell me off like that again.” He refocused. “She was right, and she was determined about her decision to reunite with
him
. I know you have reasons to hate him, but I wanted you to know that her decision to remarry him was not coerced.”

Before either of the Vandersols could respond, Harry went on. “I’m not supposed to tell anyone any of this, but since Claire can’t, I thought you needed to know. They were both in contact with the bureau while they were away. It was a strange kind of limbo—more like a self-induced/bureau-accepted witness-protection situation. The bureau was investigating the deaths of many people, including one of our own—your grandfather—associated with the unusual poison actaea pachypoda. The connection that the bureau found was Anthony Rawlings. I was assigned to learn Claire’s secrets in an effort to confirm Rawlings’ connection. As you know, it wasn’t him, but Ms. London. While the case was being investigated, Rawlings negotiated a one-year reprieve with Claire and Nichol in the South Pacific.”

“A year? They weren’t gone a year,” John said.

“No,” Harry agreed. “They came back early, against the wishes of the bureau.”

“But why? Why did they do that? If they had clearance to stay safe—”

“Rawlings had some contact—he would never say who, although we have our suspicions. Anyway, his contact informed him of your visit to the estate.”

Emily inhaled as her eyes widened. “They left that island because of
us
?”

“According to Rawlings’ statement, they were concerned about your safety. When it’d been confirmed that you were traveling here to Iowa, they traveled home. Rawlings hoped to get to Ms. London before you arrived.”

John looked at his wife. “Remember, we got an earlier flight.”

“Oh, I can’t believe how this really fits,” Emily said.

“This is all classified, or most of it. Even leaving the bureau doesn’t allow me to share this information, but I keep thinking about Claire. I really did care for her. I can’t say we were madly in love, but we did become good friends.” His eyes twinkled with memories. “The research I saw about TBI was what you said earlier, if recovery doesn’t happen in the first year… Well, if she can never tell you the truth, I still thought you deserved to know.”

John nodded as his mind swirled with new and old information. He and Emily weren’t supposed to arrive to the Rawlings estate until later. If only…

He tried to refocus on Harry. As much as he wanted to be upset, the emotion that seemed paramount was gratitude.

“Thank you, thanks for telling us the truth. We won’t share it, if that’s what you want,” John said.

“As long as you don’t do a press release,” Harry said with a grin, “I see no harm in letting you know.”

John smiled. “We’re not much into sharing with the media.” Changing the subject, he asked, “Why North Carolina? What are you going to do there?”

“I’m thinking about starting my own investigative firm. Law enforcement has always been my dream. Entering the FBI was the ultimate fulfillment, but lately I’ve realized that the adrenaline rush I used to get from the dangers has been replaced. You see, I was married a long time ago. She’s remarried, but I’ve been talking with her. We have a daughter who’s almost seven. I’ve missed so much of my child’s life.” His eyes brimmed with moisture. “I don’t want to miss any more. That rush now comes when I think about moving closer and getting to know my daughter. Thankfully, my ex-wife is willing to re-introduce us. Hopefully, Jillian will allow me to be part of her life.”

“That’s a beautiful name,” Emily said.

The tips of Harry’s lips turned upward. “It’s silly, but my name begins with an
H
, my ex-wife’s with an
I
, we used to joke about continuing the alphabet. Ilona and I were already separated when she gave birth, but I was thrilled when I heard her name.”

“What about Liz?” Emily asked.

“We’re taking it slowly. She’s pretty devastated about Amber, but she’s willing to move to North Carolina with me. They’ve asked her to stay at SiJo and help the new CEO: she’s joining me after I get settled, maybe after the trial. I’m not sure what happened with the company. I was afraid that it would be gobbled up in some frenzy after everything went public. Liz said there was some talk of that, but then everything quieted. The board of directors have asked Simon’s mother to take a role, at least temporarily. I think it’s more as a figurehead, but it was a nice gesture. The new CEO is someone with a lot of experience. For Simon’s sake, I hope they can keep it going.”

John did know background on that, and though he appreciated Harry’s candor, he couldn’t reciprocate. It was Rawlings Industries, more specifically Roger Cunningham from Shedis-tics, who got the ball rolling on securing SiJo’s future. It was done as discreetly as possible. Apparently, Anthony didn’t want it to appear that Shedis-tics was priming the pump for a takeover. The instructions were painfully clear: it was strictly a rescue mission. SiJo would remain an independent company.

“We’ll see what the future holds. Liz isn’t sure how she feels about a seven-year-old daughter, and I get it. I’m hoping that once she gets to know Ilona and her husband, she’ll feel more secure. I think she’s worried about my being around my ex, but there’s nothing to fear. We were kids when we married. I want a relationship with Jillian, and even though I’ll be in North Carolina and Liz will be in California for right now, we hope to make it work. Our plan is to be together in North Carolina eventually. I’m thankful that Liz is supporting me.”

John listened as Emily asked more questions and Harry willingly answered. It was so much to process, too many pieces of the puzzle that seemed to forever remain unfinished. Despite the deception, there was something pure and sad in the man before them. He’d followed his dream career and figured out that nothing compared to his family. Harry talked about the sense of loss with Amber. Even his mother was upset that he didn’t use his role with the FBI to help his sister. He felt completely disconnected, until Ilona reached out to him. Through their conversations, Harry realized that Jillian was his family—his anchor. He wasn’t alone. He had roots, if only he was willing to step up and accept them. He’d chosen the FBI over his family once. He wouldn’t do that again.