Behind His Eyes - Convicted: The Missing Years (37 page)

It was when they were in the kitchen that Tony heard Courtney’s voice. Within seconds she was in the kitchen with her arms flung around Tony’s neck. The sadness that had been threatening his tour disappeared in an instant. Her elation was contagious. From that moment on, she was his tour guide. It wasn’t until she walked them into the master suite’s dressing room that the sadness returned.

“Where are all of your things?” she asked, obviously perplexed. “They were here the other day. I had the closet stocked for both you and Claire.”

Tony avoided Brent’s darkening expression.

“I had them moved,” Tony answered.

“To where? Another room? Why would you do that?” she questioned.

Tony swallowed. “No, not to another room.”

“Shit, I told you I wouldn’t rent you an apartment,” Brent said.

Courtney’s eyes clouded in confusion. “I don’t understand. I’ve done everything I thought you’d like. Don’t you like the house?”

“I love the house. It’ll be the most perfect place for Claire to raise Nichol. It’s everything I asked for and more.”

Her jaw clenched as sparks of understanding came to her eyes. “
For Claire to raise Nichol
. What are you saying?”

He reached for Courtney’s shoulders. “Please, don’t worry about it. It’ll work out.”

“Yes, yes, Tony, it will. As long as you and Claire have Nichol and are a family, it will work. Why did you want Brent to rent you an apartment?”

Tony glared at Brent. “When Brent wouldn’t do it, I contacted Eric. I now have an apartment not far from the office.”

Tears spilled over Courtney’s lids. “Why, Tony? Why would you do this to Claire?”

“I’m not doing it
to
Claire: I’m doing it
for
Claire. Surely, you can understand. She’s been trapped at Everwood by Emily—”

“And you’re freeing her! Tomorrow, you’re bringing her home,” Courtney exclaimed.

“I am,” Tony replied. “Before Emily, it was me. She has truly been restrained since she was a child. I won’t allow that anymore. She deserves to be free.”

Though Courtney’s words were still clipped, she offered her support as she and Brent followed Tony’s car toward Everwood. In Brent’s possession were all the documents signed, sealed, and ready. He even had the doctors’ statements and the custody papers. All they needed was Claire.

The administrator of Everwood, Mr. Leason, met them at the door to the front lobby. After he and Tony shook hands, he led them to his office where Brent began explaining the documentation. As they spoke, Tony glanced around. From what little he’d seen, it was a very nice facility. He had to give that to Emily: she’d found a wonderful place. It wasn’t until Tony heard his name that he focused on Brent’s conversation.

“…Mr. Rawlings. Here’s the document signed by Judge Wein, as Mrs. Rawlings’ husband, until she’s medically cleared to make her own decisions, he has medical power of attorney. With that authority, and with the support of your medical staff—I have Dr. Brown’s statement—we are removing Claire Nichols Rawlings from Everwood today.”

“Does Mrs. Vandersol know? Is she aware?”

“Mr. Vandersol has been informed,” Brent said. Tony was shocked. John knew that he was coming and didn’t have guards stationed at every door?

“Mr. Simmons, Mr. Vandersol is not Ms. Nichol’s next of kin. It is
Mrs
. Vandersol.”

“I can assure you that I have been as thorough as possible. We’re removing
Mrs.
Rawlings
,” Brent emphasized her name, “today.”

“If you’ll excuse me for a moment,” Mr. Leason said, “I’d like to place a call to Judge Wein.”

Brent handed him another paper. “Here is her direct number. We’ll be outside.”

Once the three of them were outside of the administrator’s office, Tony asked, “John knows, and he didn’t tell Emily?”

“I don’t know if he told Emily or not. I sent Emily a formal request from you for permission to visit Claire. I wanted documentation of her denial. They knew you were being released. They’d been with me to Family Court regarding your rights. John’s not dumb. He came to me with Emily’s formal denial. He hinted that if he were I, he’d remove Emily as a roadblock. I didn’t let on that I’d already started the process, but I believe he’d already figured it out. He said that if that situation ever occurred, he wouldn’t fight you. I know you two have a history, but he’s a good man. I even think Emily believes she’s done what was right. John and I didn’t talk about his future employment, but Tim and I have. We both want him to stay. Hopefully he can.”

Courtney had been uncharacteristically quiet, but when Brent finished, she said, “I agree. Nichol adores them and they do her. I believe in the innocence of children. They can create a bridge capable of spanning an otherwise insurmountable gap. I can’t wait for you to see Nichol.”

Tony tried to process: John wasn’t going to fight him. “Tim’s told me how good it’s been to have John at Rawlings. I can’t deny they’ve taken good care of Nichol. I have to wonder if—”

Before he could finish his thought, Mr. Leason opened the door. “Excuse me, it seems as though you’re cleared. We can bring Ms. Nic—Mrs. Rawlings to the common room—”

“No, I want to go to her immediately,” Tony said.

“It’s against our policy to allow men into the residential—” Was it the look Tony was giving him or the tone of his original rebuttal? No matter the reason, Mr. Leason stopped and restated his response. “I believe we can make an exception. Let me show you the way.”

When they reached the door to her room, Tony said, “I know Emily’s in there. I’d rather go in alone.”

Courtney, Brent, and Mr. Leason nodded.

Inhaling deeply, Tony turned the knob. Two and a half years of separation ended in a split second. He saw Emily’s shocked expression, but that wasn’t what held his attention. It was the back of
her
head. She was right there: his wife, his life, and his envelope filled with hopes and dreams. Before he could speak, Claire stood and turned. No longer was Tony’s world bland—khaki and gray. The infusion of color was almost blinding. Green—emerald green—had been returned to the spectrum.

Unbridled desire surged through him. He momentarily forgot his talk of divorce. In that second, nothing mattered but Claire. Tony needed to touch his wife, to reassure himself that she was real. Not the woman in his dreams, but the living, breathing person who consumed his thoughts. The distance between them evaporated as the rest of the room disappeared. With an invisible bond, his Claire was once again in his arms. With her cheek against his chest he wrapped her in his arms. Though her body molded perfectly to his, he needed more. Like a man in the desert needs water, like a person needs air, Tony needed her eyes. Reaching for her chin he sought the green. Instantaneously, their gazes—their connection that surpassed all else—fused.

“I’ve dreamt of those eyes,” he whispered. Her smile washed over him with a warmth that even sunshine couldn’t provide.

“As have I.”

Her voice was the melody of his soul. Then it was gone. She had turned away. “Look at me,” he commanded. “I’ve missed you so much. Why are you looking away?”

Once again, peering upward, she asked, “Do you know? Do you know what they say about me?”

“I know. I love you.”

Her pained expression broke his heart.

“They think I’m crazy.”

Caressing her back, he tried to reassure her, “I think we’re all crazy. That doesn’t mean that I’m leaving here today without you. My love, you’re coming home.”

“I’m leaving here? How?” she asked.

Brent stepped forward, penetrating their bubble. Before he could speak, Claire reached out and took his hand. “I’m so thankful you’re all right!”

“Me too,” Brent said. “If I weren’t alive, I couldn’t be the one to tell you…” He grinned. “…I wouldn’t be the one to help you. As long as Tony was incarcerated, Emily was your listed next of kin and held your power of attorney. I’m holding the judgment by Judge Wein: your husband is, once again, legally your next of kin. Until you’re completely cleared medically, he has the power to make your medical decisions, including your release…”

Tony stared at the woman with her hand in his. She was the vision of everything and anything he’d ever wanted. As she questioned Brent about her release, and as she walked to her sister and spoke, all Tony could think about was her. She obviously wasn’t crazy. There’d never been anyone to hold him captive as she could. Yes, he may have been the one who locked the door, but she was the one who held the key to his heart. As long as she was near, she’d forever have that power. He didn’t mind. It could never belong to anyone else.

As they exited Mr. Leason’s office for the last time, Tony saw John and Emily waiting. They stood as he and Claire approached. To Tony’s surprise, John held out his hand.

“Anthony.”

With his hand extended, Tony replied, “
Tony
. Please, call me Tony. Thank you, John, for all you’ve done while I was away. Brent tells me you’ve been quite helpful at Rawlings.”

“It was for Nichol and Claire.”

Tony nodded. “And for that, for
our
family, I thank you.”

John went on, “I’ve been privy to many of your decisions. I want you to know that I respect them.”

Tony hadn’t known how this would go, but in this moment, he was relieved. “Then I hope my return won’t cause you to search for another job. Rawlings Industries
and I
can always use someone like you on our side.”

“Emily and I need to talk, but I think I’d like that.”

Tony looked at his wife as she released his hand and wrapped her arms around John’s neck. He heard tears in her voice as she said, “I had no idea you were working at Rawlings.” Next, she hugged her sister. “Thank you, Emily. Thank you for not fighting this.”

John explained, “Anth—I mean,
Tony’s
right and you’re right. We
are
a family. For our children, we need to behave like adults.”

Claire stammered, “Ch-children… I can’t wait to see Nichol and meet Michael.”

It was Emily’s turn to cry. “She’s so little. She won’t understand—”

John spoke the voice of reason. “Your daughter is beautiful and intelligent. She’s also young. As long as we do this together, she’ll make the transition just fine.”

Claire peered upward. Placing her hand back into Tony’s, she said, “We’ve missed so much. I can’t wait to hold her again.”

Could they make this work? Could the four of them, no, the six of them truly be a family? Tony spoke to his brother- and sister-in-law. “Thank you again, not just for Rawlings, but for taking care of Nichol. We’re anxious to come and see her, but first I’d like to take Claire somewhere. It won’t take long, and then we’ll be over to your house. The child psychologist I consulted recommended a gradual transition before we bring her home to stay.”

“I thought—” Claire started.

Emily interrupted, “Yes, gradual. I think Tony’s right.” Her pained smile turned toward Tony. “Thank you. This’ll give us time to talk with her, to try to explain things. Let’s make this as easy for Nichol as possible.”

With Claire’s hand once again secured, they walked through the doors. She looked up at the sky and said, “It feels so good to be free.”

He knew the feeling, but she was wrong. She wasn’t truly free, not yet. Despite the warmth of her hand, he knew what he needed to do. Never again would she be captive. When her beautiful green eyes met his, he said, “I want to show you something.”

We should regret our mistakes and learn from them, but never carry them forward into the future with us.

—Lucy Maud Montgomery

Unbeknownst to Claire, during their drive to the estate, Tony waged an internal war of wills. On one side was his desire. With Claire’s hand in his, her head on his shoulder, and her trusting gazes, that side was gaining strength by the second. He wanted her more than life. With her beside him, he was complete. Never had another person accepted him the way his Claire had done. Though she knew his sins and shortcomings, she never judged. She forgave. She forgave unforgivable acts. She forgave a man who had never before been forgiven. It was more than that: she’d given him a child and a life. Claire was the light to his dark and the right to his wrong. With her beside him, he wanted to forget everything he’d learned in prison, to forget why he was bad for her. He wanted his wife.