Behind the Mask (130 page)

Cameron was grateful to see another tedious meeting come to a close, but through it he couldn’t help feeling deeply grateful to be present. He knew in his heart that he was supposed to be here, that his country needed him. And he believed that God had known those things all along as well.

As soon as the door to the office had opened, and the first man had left the room, an officer stepped in and said, “Your Grace.”

“Yes?”

“Her Grace wishes to see you, when it’s convenient, sir. She will be in her studio.”

“Thank you,” Cameron said and hurried from the room, leaving others behind to chat and take their time. His heart quickened as he ascended the stairs, and he realized that since Abbi had come back to life, it was as if he’d fallen in love with her all over again. He opened the door and immediately saw her, sitting with her feet up, the baby at her breast. Even the way she had been able to take over his feeding completely was a miracle and a good indicator of her improving health. She looked up and smiled, taking his breath away as he closed the door and leaned against it, just to soak in the picture before him.

“You wished to see me, Your Grace?” he said.

“When it was convenient. I hope I didn’t interrupt anything.”

“Not at all,” he said, and walked toward her. He found her sketchbook on the couch beside her and picked it up to see a partial drawing of their infant son, sleeping. “It’s beautiful,” he said. “I love the way you capture memories with a pencil.” He set it aside and sat down, leaning over the baby to kiss her. “And how are you this afternoon, Your Grace?”

“I’m well, and you?”

He smiled. “The same. What did you need? Or did you just miss me?”

“Both,” she said, smiling in return. Then she looked away as she added, “I understand you recently purchased a piece of real estate out of the country and then sold it at a loss.”

Cameron felt taken aback, not certain of her motives. He
was
certain of one thing, however. “Georg has been gossiping again.”

“He has a knack for it. Remember when he told you the captain had proposed to me? If we’re going to have him around, we would do well not to keep secrets from each other. He told me you might not be happy with him for repeating what he knew, but he believed that I should be told.”

“Told what?”

She turned to look at him. “That my husband was within hours of giving up his country . . . for my sake.” He said nothing, but kept his eyes firmly connected with hers. “Why would you do that, Cameron? After everything you went through to take back your country, why would you—”

“Abbi,” he leaned closer, “your happiness is more important to me than
anything
. Even my country. I wanted to take you to a place where you could just be Mrs. du Woernig, where we could share a simple life.”

Abbi looked into her husband’s eyes and felt his conviction pierce her heart. She could never deny, nor forget, what that meant to her. But equally profound was her relief that it hadn’t come to that. She knew he never would have been wholly content, and now that she’d come to understand her own place, she knew that she couldn’t have been either. “If I had known . . .”

“If you had known, Abbi, you would have pretended to be happy for my sake, and that would have been worse.”

“I
am
happy, Cameron. Truly.”

“I know. I can see it in your eyes. And I’m grateful beyond words. I thank God every day for the miracle of your happiness.”

“But you were willing to sacrifice your own happiness for mine? Could you have been happy living such a life, knowing that Horstberg needed you?”

“I admit that it would have been difficult, Abbi, but you need to understand my reasons for making such a decision.” He leaned closer still. “I prayed longer and harder than I ever have in my life, Abbi. I told God I would do anything if He would bring your spirit back to life. The answer was very clear; there was a price to be paid. And I was willing to pay it. Horstberg is free from tyranny, and I am a free man. But Abbi, until I made that decision, I’d never realized that, to some degree, I was still in bondage. I grew up believing I had no choice but to fill this position, and that there was only one way to do it. But
you
taught me that there are always options. And a marvelous thing happened when I chose to leave Horstberg behind. That’s just it; I realized it was a choice. When it became clear to me that we would be able to stay, and both be happy, something changed inside of me. From this day forward, I will rule my country with greater peace of mind and deeper fulfillment because I will always know that my being here is a choice. Once again, you have guided me to freedom, my love—a deeper, more profound freedom than I had ever imagined.” He touched her face. “For that and a thousand other reasons, I love you with all my soul.”

Cameron watched tears spill down her cheeks, and he wiped them away before she turned to look around the room with a sparkle in her eyes. “Something’s changed in me, as well,” she said. “It’s difficult to explain, but . . . I love it here, Cameron. It feels like home to me.” His heart quickened to hear such words come through her lips, then she turned to him and said, “There’s something I need to say. I never imagined it could be possible, but I want you to know that it comes from the heart, and I do not say it lightly.” She touched his face and murmured with conviction, “I need to thank you.”

“For what?” he asked when she hesitated.

She smiled and her eyes glowed, enhanced by a fresh rise of moisture. “For making me a duchess.”

A sob of laughter jumped out of Cameron’s throat before his heart fully perceived what such words meant to him. He pressed his face to her shoulder and cried, while she held him close and the baby continued to nurse. Then he realized that Erich was apparently finished eating. He’d pulled back and was looking up at Cameron, as if to silently inquire over his emotion.

“Hello, Your Highness,” Cameron said to the baby, wiping his face with his hands.

Erich smiled and made a cooing sound, which provoked laughter from his parents.

“He looks like you,” Abbi said. “I see it more every day.”

“You knew he would.”

“Yes, I knew. And so did you.”

“You’re the one who has the gift of dreams, Abbi girl.”

“But you trusted in them enough to make this day possible.”

It quickly became common for Abbi to spend some time each day with Cameron at his work, inquiring over the present state of affairs. And she only felt a little nervous when he announced that the Baron Von Schaal would be coming with his family to stay for a few days. He was an older gentleman, whom she recalled meeting at their last social. He’d been a good friend of Cameron’s father, and Cameron felt their visit was important for many reasons. Abbi kept busy making preparations, but still managed to get the rest she needed and to take care of her son. The days of entertaining their guests went quickly and without event, until the final evening of their stay.

Abbi sat in the drawing room with her hand in Cameron’s while he visited casually with the baron. The baron’s wife and two daughters were playing cards with Magda, but Abbi found the political discussions more to her liking.

Feeling the need to nurse Erich, she was about to excuse herself when she heard the baron speak to Cameron, as if she weren’t present. “Your wife is as competent as she is beautiful, Your Grace. Never have I seen the halls of Castle Horstberg graced with such a presence. Even your mother, may she rest in peace, for all her beauty, did not compare. I’ve never seen one so young manage herself so well.”

Abbi glanced discreetly at Cameron and caught a warm smile before he turned to the baron, saying, “Yes, she is everything a man in my position could ever hope to find.”

“And where
did
you find her, Your Grace? What delightful distant country did one so clever spring from? You must have traveled far in your years away to find this one, eh?” He nudged Cameron with an elbow, and bellowed a deep laugh.

Cameron’s laugh was not so deep, but equally joyful. “Actually, Baron, Her Grace is Horstberg born and bred.” He smiled at Abbi and squeezed her hand. “Her own country is in her soul, as it always has been.”

“As it should be,” the baron added.

Increasingly uncomfortable with being discussed so openly, Abbi acted on her recently acquired knowledge of handling such feelings.
Just say what needs to be said,
she reminded herself. “You flatter me terribly, Baron. Surely you—”

“Flattery is for fools and hypocrites.” The baron leaned across Cameron to take Abbi’s hand. “And one day, Your Grace, you will come to accept that you are a woman born to bear a country on your shoulders.” He pressed her fingers to his lips, then smiled at her. “Truly precious,” he said, and excused himself to hover over the ladies’ card game.

Abbi sat for a moment, attempting to digest the baron’s words, feeling a little dazed. Then she realized Cameron was watching her, some kind of wonder dancing in his eyes. “What?” she demanded while he scrutinized her, just as the baron had done.

“He’s right, you know.”

“About what?”

“All of it. Every word he said about you is true, Abbi. And I thank God for the day He led you into my life.” His voice lowered as he rubbed a thumb over her chin. “You are the answer to a nation’s prayers, Your Grace. And most especially an answer to mine. Before your life is over, Abbi du Woernig, you will be a legend in your own time.”

Abbi accused him of teasing her and hurried off to nurse the baby. But as she held little Erich close to her, rocking back and forth in the chair in the nursery, the things Cameron and the baron had said began to settle in. And she was pleased to note that they settled comfortably. She thought it funny to recall the words Georg had said to her when they had been dancing together in the square, the day of Cameron’s Reclamation.
There’s nothing to be afraid of, Abbi. You have everything you need already in your heart
.

Before undressing for bed, Abbi caught sight of her reflection in the long mirror. She was surprised to realize that she no longer felt like an imposter; she felt like a duchess. It was as if her heart had finally come to accept what others could see—and what she could now see in herself. She knew who she was, who she had been born to be. And she was happy.

On a beautiful warm day, Cameron announced that he was taking Abbi into town. It was her first opportunity to go beyond the castle gates since Erich had been born, and she felt a childlike excitement at the thought of going
anywhere
.

“Should I dress up?” she asked.

“No,” Cameron said. “It’s just a little shopping.”

Abbi chose a simple green day dress that she’d worn long before she became the duchess. And she was pleased to see Cameron appear dressed as casually as he had been on the mountain. He insisted on riding with her, since he knew she was still weak. She’d never felt more happy and secure as she did when he got into the saddle behind her and eased Blaze toward the castle gate. She noted they took no military escort, which was evidence that Horstberg had settled peacefully beyond the upheaval of Cameron’s revolution.

Abbi was prepared to be treated with deference and awe when they came into town. But she was completely taken aback by the joy and adulation that greeted her. Cameron dismounted and led Blaze by the reins through the crowds that gathered around them. She was told over and over how well she looked and how good it was to see her. Hands reached out to take hers, and she saw many eyes with tears in them.