Behind the Mask (128 page)

Again Abbi became thoughtful. She was surprised to have the story of Joseph appear in her mind. As a youth, when he had dreamed of his brothers bowing down before him, had he not doubted what he’d seen? Had he not been afraid and discouraged through all he’d suffered? Had he not achieved incomparable things because he’d never stopped fighting and believing in spite of his doubts? As the thought settled in, Abbi felt a tangible warmth succumb her. It started at the top of her head and filtered down over her, reaching out to her every nerve. What had been dark suddenly became light. Fear became replaced with hope. With Cameron by her side she could do anything. And she would
be
the Duchess of Horstberg!

Abbi looked into her father’s eyes and felt a genuine smile fill her countenance for the first time in months. She was truly happy—to be alive and to be where she was in her life. She was a wife to the most wonderful man in the world, and she was a mother to his beautiful son.

“I love you, Father,” she said, pushing her arms around him in a tight embrace.

“Ooh,” he chuckled, “where did this strength come from all of a sudden?”

“Perhaps it’s just been afraid,” she said. Then she laughed. “And just between you and me, perhaps you’d like to know what led me to Cameron in the first place.”

“I’ve wondered about that.”

Abbi smiled serenely. “I had a dream.”

Gerhard laughed with tears in his eyes and hugged her again. They talked for another hour, while Abbi continued to pour her thoughts out to him, and he helped her reconcile with all that had brought her to this day.

The minute her father left, Abbi rang for Elsa.

“You’re up,” Elsa said when she came in to find Abbi rummaging through her wardrobe.

“Yes, I’m up. I’m sick to death of this room. And I’m going to put some real clothes on.”

Elsa laughed much the same way her father had before he’d left. She helped Abbi clean up and put on a crimson day dress, then she quickly wound her hair up and pinned it into place. Before she was finished, Abbi realized Elsa was crying.

“Whatever is wrong?” Abbi asked, turning toward her.

Elsa shook her head and laughed through her tears. “Nothing,” she said. “It’s just . . . so good to see you up and so . . . like yourself. That’s all.”

Abbi embraced her, and Elsa finished with her hair. Erich began to fuss just as Abbi was about to leave, but Elsa assured Abbi she would take care of him.

“Don’t overdo, now,” Elsa warned with a smile as Abbi opened the door.

For a long moment she just stood there, soaking in life outside of the walls where she had confined herself. She wondered what kind of madness had overtaken her. Thinking of Elsa’s tears, she felt regret for all the worry and concern she had caused for those around her. But she concluded the best way to remedy that was to simply counteract the problem.

Abbi took the stairs slowly, hating the way she had to stop and catch her breath. But the doctor had assured her that it would improve with time. As usual, there were a couple of officers loitering in the hall outside the office, as if they were waiting for orders. They looked so surprised to see her that she couldn’t resist saying, “The dead do come back to life, you know.” She smirked and added, “My husband is proof of that.”

“It’s good to see you looking so well, Your Grace,” one of them said.

“Thank you. Is His Grace—”

“He’s inside.” The officer opened the door and stepped into the room just in front of Abbi. “Her Grace wishes to see you,” he said, and Cameron immediately removed his glasses and came to his feet.

He was nearly to the door when the officer moved aside and he looked up. “Oh,” Cameron said, visibly startled. “You’re here.”

The officer left the room and closed the door behind him, leaving Abbi alone with her husband. The warmth in his eyes made all her effort worthwhile. But he looked as stunned as he had when she’d first come face-to-face with him and he’d not seen another human being in years.

Cameron couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Only his pounding heart and sweating palms verified that she was really standing there. But she looked so radiant! So alive! Her pallor was still evident, but it had a way of magnifying her delicate beauty. And he had to search to remember the last time he’d seen her anywhere but in the bedroom, lying in the bed or sitting beside it, dressed only in nightgowns and bedjackets. Then he recalled. It had been the night before Erich was born, in this room; they’d been arguing. His regrets deepened along with his relief. But he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t dare hope this might be the miracle it appeared. He told himself that her standing here was not necessarily an indication that the problems were solved. But it was certainly a positive move.

He wrapped his arms around her, realizing the last time he’d embraced her standing up, she’d been incredibly pregnant. He was just thinking how good it felt to hold her close when she wrapped her arms around
him,
holding him as tightly as he held her.

“Forgive me,” she murmured.

“For what?” he asked, looking at her without letting her go.

“I know I’ve made things very difficult for you recently . . . and not so recently. I should have trusted you more. I should have trusted
God
more. He knew what He was doing . . . even if I didn’t understand it.” She pressed her fingers to his face, while he was left breathless and struck dumb. “I’ve been so blind,” she added, then pressed her face to his shoulder, tightening her embrace.

Still disbelieving, Cameron drew back to look into her eyes, looking at her as if he’d never seen her before. While he was trying to accept what he saw there, she lifted her lips to his with a kiss that bridged every chasm and healed every wound.

Abbi heard Cameron moan and felt him ease her more fully into his arms, while she wondered what she had been thinking all this time. Never had she felt more at home, more at peace, more completely right. Her place was with him, no matter where that might be. How could she have ever questioned it? When she drew back to look at him, there were tears streaking his face.

“What is it?” she asked, touching them with her fingers.

He searched her eyes and smiled. “You’re back.”

“Yes, and I’m here to stay,” she said and kissed him again. She felt him sob in the midst of it, and broke away. “Cameron, what’s wrong?”

He laughed and cried and pressed his face to her throat. “Nothing’s wrong,” he murmured close to her ear. “Everything is perfect.”

“Then why are you crying?” she asked.

Cameron attempted to explain as simply as possible. “Everyone’s been terribly worried about you. Especially me.”

“There’s no need for that,” Abbi said, easing back to look into his eyes.

Cameron’s hope increased tenfold when he met Abbi’s gaze. There was no denying the light in her eyes. He smiled and pressed his mouth over hers.

Abbi went on her tiptoes and tilted her head back, feeling delightfully powerless in his embrace. When their kiss finally ended, she said with mischief, “I didn’t come to distract the duke from his business.”

“The duke could use such distractions more often, I think.”

“Nevertheless,” she eased out of his arms, “there will be plenty of time for such things later.”

Cameron glanced at the clock. “I’ll be counting the hours.”

Their eyes met again, and she could feel him trying to assess the changes in her. She felt suddenly tense with the unspoken reasons for his emotion, and she attempted to draw his attention elsewhere. She walked around his desk, perusing for the first time ever the paperwork spread across it. She noticed the enormity of the room and the many chairs that filled it. She wondered who exactly used those chairs. She took a long look at the maps covering one wall of the room. Then she sat in the big chair behind the desk where Cameron had been sitting. It occurred to her that if her husband was going to be a busy man, she’d do well to be involved in his work—as any good duchess ought to be.

“Tell me what you’re doing,” she said.

Cameron’s surprise was evident. “I’m certain you’d find it tedious.”

“On the contrary,” she smiled at him, “I believe I would find it fascinating. If I start to get bored, I promise I’ll tell you.”

Cameron attempted to gauge her motives but decided it didn’t matter. Her interest was too genuine to be some attempt at placating him. He pulled a chair close beside her and sat down, telling her as simply as possible the process they were putting into effect to ease the ongoing burdens of poverty without throwing the rest of the economy off balance. He didn’t tell her how he’d been planning to turn the project over to his sister, and he didn’t tell her the perfect joy he felt in realizing that he didn’t have to leave everything behind for the sake of her health.
It was a miracle.

Elsa brought little Erich to the office nearly two hours later, and Abbi nursed him while she listened to Cameron with such overt interest that he felt increasingly baffled.

“Enough,” Cameron said, taking Erich from her once he was finished. “Your head must be spinning with all this nonsense.”

“I’m enjoying myself, actually.”

Again Cameron gave her that look, as if he were seeing her for the first time. “Why?” he asked.

“I don’t understand.”

“The duchesses I’ve known have never spent a minute in the office with the duke.”

“Well,” she cocked her head and smiled, “this duchess does not likely have much in common with them.”

“Amen,” Cameron muttered, then he laughed. But another unexpected rush of tears followed, and he leaned back in his chair, pressing a hand over his mouth.

Abbi took his hand and leaned toward him. “Have I been so difficult,” she asked, “that you would feel this—”

“No,” he said, touching her face. “It’s just . . .” He chuckled with disbelief. “What happened? Help me understand.”

She touched his face in return and gave him a loving smile. “You already understand,” she said. “You see . . . I realized . . . just a while ago . . . that I’ve been . . .” her voice cracked, “more afraid to live, than to die.”

Cameron sucked in his breath. She was right. He
did
understand. Memories of once feeling exactly the same way overtook his mind. Perfect empathy rushed into him, and a stark sense of gratitude. He held her close and together they cried. He didn’t begin to understand all that had happened between them, or how much of it had been meant to strengthen and teach them. But they were together, they were alive, and they understood each other in ways far deeper than any words could express.

A knock at the door startled them both, and they chuckled while wiping at each other’s tears and forcing some composure.

“Come,” Cameron called, once they both appeared somewhat normal.

Georg entered the room, looking as stunned as Cameron had when Abbi had arrived earlier.

“Your Grace,” he said, looking directly at her. “How . . . nice it is to . . . see you up and about.” She saw him exchange an anxious glance with Cameron.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Did you need something?” Cameron asked.

“Um . . . it can wait,” Georg said.

“Mr. Heinrich,” Cameron said before he could leave. “Those plans we had . . . for the day after tomorrow.”

“Yes?” Georg drawled.

“Cancel them.”

“All of them, sir?” Georg asked.

“All of them,” Cameron said, smiling at Abbi. “I’ll be staying in Horstberg . . . with my wife.”

Abbi said, “If you have business out of the country, then—”

“It’s not important,” Cameron said, kissing her hand.

Georg smiled. “I’ll see to it,” he said, and left the room.

Chapter Thirty-Five

IN HER OWN TIME

O
n the day that Cameron had planned to take his family away from Horstberg forever, he took them instead into the castle gardens with a blanket and a picnic hamper.

“It’s hard to believe it was snowing a few days ago,” Abbi said, inhaling the warm spring air. “Today is a perfectly beautiful day.”

“Yes, it certainly is,” Cameron said and laughed.

The following morning, Cameron was just finishing a private breakfast with his wife when an officer came to tell them the Baron of Kohenswald had arrived, unannounced, and was demanding to speak with the duke.

Cameron made a disgusted noise and said to the officer, “Keep him in the main hall. I’ll be right down.” Once alone, he said to Abbi, “The man is unbelievable. He purposely ignores protocol over and over, presumably hoping to catch me off guard, for what purpose I cannot imagine.” He kissed her quickly. “Hopefully this won’t take too long, and—”

“May I come with you?” she asked, not bothering to mention that just last night she’d had a dream about the baron. She’d dreamed of facing him, even speaking to him in a way she never would have imagined herself doing. The dream had given her a perspective of her own abilities she’d never considered before, but it also made her believe that she needed to be at her husband’s side, and it was no coincidence that the announcement of the baron’s arrival had come when they’d been together.

Cameron looked surprised, but pleased. “Of course.” He smirked and held out a hand. “Perhaps you can protect me.”