Being a Teen (22 page)

Unfortunately, girls tend to obsess about their looks and bodies partly because our culture places such importance on
women fitting into a certain image of beauty. But boys worry as well.

Everyone’s Different

Adolescence can be a difficult time because not everyone’s body changes at the same time and in the same ways and we may judge ourselves in comparison. There will be girls and boys who are much more developed and more physically mature than you. Or perhaps you have developed earlier than most. Older boys may come on to girls who have early breast development in ways that make the girls uncomfortable. This can make girls feel that their bodies are what matters the most about them. Larger, more physically developed boys may find that people treat them as more mature than they are and expect more of them.

Sooner or later everyone will have a mature body; developing at different rates is a normal part of puberty.

Being Full-Figured or Overweight

Some teens have full figures starting at puberty, and this may never change, and that’s okay. Others are heavy during puberty and thin out as they grow. There is a difference between being full-figured and being overweight or obese. Obesity is a serious health problem that can begin in childhood and lead to many serious illnesses. I will discuss obesity in more detail in a moment.

The Media and Body Image

As I have explained, the media offers a narrow view of what beauty is. If you believe all that you see in the media, especially in the advertisements, you might become upset that you don’t measure up. You might worry that you’re getting fat, for example, when you’re really just having a growth spurt in which your height needs to catch up to your weight. This might cause you to obsess about how you look. Just remember, most people don’t look like the actors and models in the media and never will. In fact, often the models don’t look like that, either. With computers, photographers can change (digitally alter) the model’s body shape, make a male seem more buff, make a female thinner and bigger-breasted, with technical tricks and air-brushing.

It’s important to remember that the media’s goal is to make money, not to give us realistic, healthy images of bodies and behavior.

How to Stay Healthy

Healthy Foods and Drinks

The key thing isn’t if you are thin or full-figured. The key is being healthy, and that means eating a healthy, balanced diet that includes fresh fruits, vegetables, lean protein, and whole grains. The things to stay away from are sugary, fatty foods. Fast foods are especially full of fat and sugar.

Calcium is important for your growing bones, so try to eat and drink calcium-rich ingredients that will provide about 1,300 milligrams of calcium daily. Here are some ideas:

• nonfat milk

• calcium-fortified soy milk

• calcium-fortified almond milk

• nonfat yogurt

• low-fat cheese

• calcium-fortified cereals

• calcium-fortified orange juice

• tofu

• broccoli

• kale

• green beans

The best drink of all is water—plain or sparkling. Water is very good for you. Try adding fruit juice to sparkling water. Stay away from sodas that are loaded with sugar. Sodas are bad for you because the ones with sugar are very fattening. Artificial sweeteners aren’t good for you, either. Juices and other sugary beverages like vitamin water or iced tea are also very high in calories. It’s much healthier to eat an apple than it is to drink apple juice.

It’s best not to drink too much caffeine (many sodas, energy drinks, and coffee contain it) because it can keep you from sleeping, and if you don’t sleep enough, it affects your mood and ability to concentrate.

Tips for Healthy Eating

1. Eat breakfast. A healthy one is oatmeal, a whole-grain, nonfat or low-sugar cereal, whole-grain bread, and fresh fruit. Cut back on bacon and sausage or other processed, sugary foods. Include a source of protein, such as milk with your oatmeal, an egg, or a small amount of cheese, yogurt, or peanut butter.

2. Stick healthy snacks into your lunch box or locker—fruit and string cheese are good examples.

3. Make sure you’ve eaten a variety of colors before the day is over, especially the healthiest super foods that are dark green, blue/purple, and yellow/orange, like blueberries, red or orange peppers, carrots, broccoli, or kale. Deeply colored foods are higher in nutrients.

4. Make sure at least half of the food on your plate consists of fruits and/or veggies.

5. Learn to eat slowly and chew well.

6. Eat sitting down.

7. Focus on what you are eating. It’s hard to do that if you’re reading or watching TV.

8. Try not to eat too much candy, cake, ice cream, and other sweet treats. Save them for special occasions.

9. Don’t eat chocolate before you go to bed. The sugar and caffeine it contains get you wired and make it harder to go to sleep.

The Value of Exercise

Exercise is so important for every part of your body as well as your mind. It helps maintain your muscle mass, which means you’ll have a healthy, active metabolism and will burn the calories you eat.

Good options include taking exercise classes at the local Y, biking, running, walking, participating in sports, skating. Use your Wii, which has exercise programs that include yoga, aerobics, and weight training—the programs can be customized to be just what you need.

Try to work some exercise into your daily routine. Walking to school instead of taking a bus or a ride, using the stairs instead of the elevator, will increase your level of fitness and don’t involve making a special time for a workout. Weight-bearing exercise like walking or running is important to maintain healthy bones.

Why You Should Avoid Dieting

There are many reasons that dieting is not good for people, especially at your age, when your body is changing so quickly. What matters more than being thin is being healthy. A person can be full-figured and still be physically fit. But this requires healthy eating and enough exercise.

Dieting or taking diet pills that take away your appetite and make you jittery and nervous is not the way to lose weight. The weight never stays off because no one can stay on a diet for very long. Dieting can deprive your body of vitamins, minerals, and other nutrients that are essential to you, especially now. You can become addicted to diet pills and that can have a negative effect on your body and your mind.

Because dieting affects your metabolism (the process by which our bodies burn up the calories we eat), when you fall off a diet, the weight you lost comes right back on, faster than when you lost it. As I have said, the true way to weight loss and health is a combination of eating a healthy diet (different from dieting) and playing sports or doing some sort of regular physical exercise. Even if obesity runs in your family, it is possible for you to overcome it through healthy eating and exercise.

Overcoming Obesity or Being Overweight

Being overweight means there is too much fat in your body. Being overweight can lead to obesity, which means that the excess fat may lead to health problems such as diabetes, asthma, and trouble with bones and joints, as well as high blood pressure and heart disease. Obesity is a real strain on the body.

Overcoming obesity is hard to do on your own, especially since some of the main causes of obesity have to do with whether your parents are obese, what kinds of foods you are given at home and at school, and whether you are encouraged by your parents, guardians, or grandparents to be physically active.

But since obesity is a very real health hazard, let’s look at some of the things you can do about it:

• Stop drinking soda at home or at school. These sugary soft drinks are a big contributor to childhood obesity.
  
• Stop eating fatty snacks and fast foods and eat more of the healthier foods I have listed above.
  
• Do all you can to be more physically active:
  

• Walk instead of ride.
  
• Climb stairs instead of taking the elevator or escalator.
  
• Schedule time to take a fifteen-minute walk three to five times a week.
  
• Try swimming, dancing, biking.
  
• Don’t spend all your time playing computer or video games or watching television.
  

If you are overweight, it isn’t easy to get started with physical activity, but if you can keep at it, it gets easier and you will keep feeling better and better. Better, in fact, than you ever imagined you could.

Resources

You might ask a doctor or school nurse if he or she knows of a local program that helps adolescents who suffer from obesity. There are a number of programs available to overweight and obese teens. One example is the Optimum Weight for Life program at the Children’s Hospital in Boston. Most major cities will have a similar obesity prevention and treatment program. Ask your medical provider for a referral if you are ready to start such a program.

20.

Eating Disorders

Somewhere between five and ten million girls in the United States—about one in five—and possibly as many as one million boys have eating disorders.

What Is an Eating Disorder?

An eating disorder, like alcoholism, is a disease, not a sign of personal weakness. In fact, many—maybe even a majority—of girls and women who suffer from eating disorders are disciplined high achievers who get good grades and are popular. Perhaps it’s the “pleasers”—those most concerned with pleasing others—who are most vulnerable to this addiction. About half of people with eating disorders also suffer from depression.

The pressure to rigidly conform and having no way to express yourself can trigger an eating disorder. So can feeling out of control in your life and needing to find something you can control—your eating. Other stress- and anxiety-causing events that can be triggers might include the death of a parent or a beloved pet, divorce in the family, the end of a relationship, or any kind of sexual abuse or rape—now or earlier in childhood.

Most people who suffer with eating disorders, however, have no trigger at all. Eating disorders tend to run in families, and you may be at risk simply because of your family history, rather than because of some stress or trigger in your life.

The Dangers of Eating Disorders

Eating disorders can cause later serious problems with the kidneys, intestines, throat, and glands; it can affect your metabolism and menstrual cycle, and cause dental problems.

Like any other addiction, an eating disorder makes it impossible to have a true, authentic relationship with anyone, including yourself. A teenager with an eating disorder may have a girlfriend or boyfriend, but it’s not likely to be an authentic, satisfying relationship, one in which he or she is fully present, not thinking about something else, like food. The all-consuming, antisocial, addictive nature of eating disorders leads to depression, loss of self-esteem, hostility, fatigue, being obsessive, or being secretive. These are things that only serve to drive a wedge between people, even loved ones.

Types of Eating Disorders

Anorexia

Anorexia nervosa
is an eating disorder in which sufferers severely restrict how much they eat in an effort to lose weight. It is very difficult to treat and has the highest fatality rate of all the psychiatric illnesses. Boys as well as girls suffer from anorexia.

Girls and boys who suffer from anorexia may also be trying to postpone becoming fully mature women and men. For example, girls can become so thin that they are sexless, because they stop having periods.

Over time, an anorexic’s bones may stick out and their skin and hair become dull, dry, and brittle. They have distended bellies, they stop menstruating, grow weak, depressed, and negative. Their entire lives revolve around avoiding food. The disease is very serious and can result in hospitalization or even death.

Bulimia

Bulimia
involves binging, which is eating a large amount of food at one time and then purging, or cleaning out the food, by throwing up or using laxatives to expel food before it is fully digested.

There are horrendous downsides to this disease and absolutely no upside. Bulimics think they will lose weight, but it’s an illusion. Inevitably, bulimia damages your metabolism and bodily functions so seriously that anything you eat will cause you to gain weight. Teeth are sometimes so damaged from the stomach acid when throwing up that they need to be removed and replaced.

Compulsive Eating

Some girls and boys binge, like bulimics, but do not purge. This is called
compulsive eating.
They do this to numb themselves against pain and anxiety. Victims of sexual abuse sometimes do this to arm themselves against unwanted approaches. They hide within their fat.