Being Elizabeth (26 page)

‘My father was the prime example of a domineering, angry, frustrated husband, Robin, a man who was probably verbally abusive to some if not all of his wives. He was certainly verbally abusive to me.'

‘He was happy with his first wife, you know. He and his Spanish Catherine were very much in love, that I was told by my mother, who knew her quite well. The only problem in their marriage was actually the lack of an heir – otherwise they got on very well. She was inordinately clever, Elizabeth, a hard worker, efficient, energetic, and she had been extremely well educated in Spain. Your father's head got turned by … well, by your mother. After he met her, he became besotted with Anne. Anyway, let's not go into all of that, you've heard the story before.'

‘Then he met Jane Selmere, and fell hook, line and sinker for her, and decided to marry her. He suddenly saw only faults in my mother and no doubt drove her to desperation. When Jane died after Edward was born, he married the German Anne. But she was plain.'

‘Ugly is a better word to describe her,' Robert interjected.

‘She was a nice person, Robin, and certainly kind to me and Edward. And Mary, too. I always thought she was dreadfully
afraid
of Harry, and I know for a fact she was happy to be
quietly divorced. I always felt much more sorry for Kathy Howard Norfell, his gorgeous trophy wife, too young for him. And unfortunately she was not very bright.'

‘Are you kidding? She was as thick as a plank! Infidelity was her undoing, my father confided quite a lot about that to me. He was working for your father then. But who can blame her? By the time Harry married young Kathy he had become somewhat portly, ungainly, and monstrous, to be absolutely honest. No wonder she hopped into those many different beds … of more handsome and virile younger men.
Her undoing
. Ghastly divorce it was. Thank God Catherine Parker outlived him.'

Elizabeth said, ‘And then along came the gorgeous Rear-Admiral, full of charm and potent sexuality. And infatuated as she had long been, Catherine Parker married the irresistible Tom Selmere, who then started to flirt with me, even tried to seduce me on the side.'

Robert laughed. ‘Selmere was a bit of a bounder and a poor example of husband material, wasn't he, my pet?'

‘That's true, he was. But, so was Philip Alvarez. He married Mary for her money, I'm certain of that now. And then he dumped her, to be brutal about it.'

‘Didn't even come to her funeral, the rotten sod,' Robert said. ‘But
listen
to me,' he went on, his voice growing serious. ‘Not all men are like your father, Selmere and Alvarez. I'm not. Surely you understand that after all these years.'

‘I do. I do, Robin, honestly. But I want … to be
free
, independent, my own woman. I don't want marriage, not at any price.' She gave him a pleading look. ‘Can we drop the subject now?
Please
?'

‘Absolutely. We won't discuss it any further.' He took a sip of tea, and went on, ‘Thanks for coming down to the beach with Lucas.'

‘You didn't hurt yourself when you tripped over the pile of rocks, did you?'

‘No, I just got cold and wet. I'm feeling better now. In a few minutes I'll get dressed, and we'll have a drink.'

‘You have forgiven me, haven't you, Robin?'

‘There's nothing to forgive,' he said for the second time.

‘It's a beautiful sunny day, Robin,' Elizabeth said, as she drew back the curtains and looked out of the window on Sunday morning. ‘The storm's gone farther north, I suspect. Come on, get up, lazy bones, let's go downstairs and have breakfast.'

‘It's not even six o'clock,' Robert muttered, but nonetheless he was awake and he threw back the bedclothes, got out of bed. Reaching for his robe, he pulled it on, and found his slippers. ‘So, what do you plan to make for breakfast, Miss Turner?'

‘I'm sure there are all sorts of things in the refrigerator. Lucas always buys kippers. Would you like some of those? Or mushrooms and kidneys? They're his standbys.'

‘How about simple boiled eggs and toast?' he suggested, leading her out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

‘Boiled eggs it is,' she agreed. ‘I'll have the same.'

Once they were in the kitchen Elizabeth turned on the coffee pot, went to the refrigerator, took out the carton of milk and the eggs, and hurried over to the island in the middle of the room.

‘Is there any orange juice?' Robin asked.

‘Oh, sorry, I forgot. Yes, it's in the fridge.'

After filling two glasses, Robert carried them over to the kitchen table, picked up the remote control and turned on the television. ‘I just want to see what they say about the weather –' He broke off, frowning, staring at the set, and Elizabeth swung around, followed his gaze.

‘The car Princess Diana was travelling in drove into the Point D'Alma Tunnel at twenty-three minutes past midnight,' the voice
of the newscaster was saying. ‘The ambulance which arrived just after the crash took her to Pitié-Sâlpetrière, the hospital where she died in the early hours of the morning.'

‘Oh, my God!' Elizabeth cried. ‘It can't be possible. No, no, it can't be.' She turned to Robert, who was rooted to the spot near the table, and very carefully put down the carton of eggs before she dropped it. Her voice shook as she added, ‘It just can't be, Robin. Not Princess Diana.'

Robert was speechless. Putting his arm around Elizabeth, he eased her down into the chair, then sat next to her, all the time staring at the television set in disbelief. Like Elizabeth, he was unable to absorb the horrific news for a few seconds.

Tears were rolling down Elizabeth's cheeks, and she pulled a tissue out of her pocket, wiped her eyes. ‘Those poor little boys, her young sons,' she whispered, filled with enormous sorrow, and began to weep again.

It was Robert who eventually brought two mugs of coffee to the table, which is where they sat for the next few hours listening to the reports coming in from Paris and London. It was August thirty-first, 1997. Like the rest of Britain, and of the whole world, they were stunned and grief-stricken by the tragic death of the beautiful princess who had been cut down in the prime of her life.

Q
uiet as death. That is how it is here today. I've never
known Deravenels to be like this. So silent, so heavy in
spirit. People are working as usual but sadness casts a
strange haze over their faces. They slowly move along the corridors,
talk in whispers, do their jobs efficiently, but that cloud
of pain is a palpable thing, hangs over them like a mist. And
that is the way it is in the whole of Britain, and even in the rest
of the world, at least part of it
.

A vibrant and beautiful young woman no longer exists on
this planet. And yet … she does. She is in our hearts and minds
where she will live with us forever. Sudden and unexpected, her
violent death has had a violent impact on us, made us feel mortal
and vulnerable, somehow at risk. Grief stuns, brings us to
mourning
.

It is five days since she died and we remain in shock, unable
to truly comprehend that she is gone. I feel it strongly … the
sense of hurt and staggering loss, as though a shimmering dream
has been smashed to smithereens. She was so vitally alive, so
exuberant, so caring and full of love to give, especially to the
lost, the abandoned, the helpless and the frail. The flash of that
valiant smile. the sparkle in those bright blue eyes … it hardly
seems believable that we will never see them again … except in
our memories
…

The death of Princess Diana has made me feel vulnerable, in
so many different ways. Not about my own mortality, but about
Robin and the different aspects of our relationship. Last night
I could not sleep … I lay awake worrying about him … what
if he was killed or suddenly died? What would I do without
him? My life would be over. That is the way I feel because he
is my whole existence. And yet I hurt him so badly this past
weekend. My words cut to the quick, I know that. I should be
more careful in the things I say … I should not rush in where
angels fear to tread. That was one of my father's often said
remarks, borrowed from one of his favourite songs. He had a
good voice, my father. I can hear it now in my head, hear him
singing: ‘Fools rush in, where angels fear to tread.' He was a
tenor and so good he could have sung in the opera
.

My father loved music, and he frequently wrote it. He might
well have written this song, but he didn't. I asked him once and
he said he wished he could claim it as his own but that it had
been written by Johnny Mercer and Rube Bloom. My father the
romantic … the romantic fool. Robin called him a monstrosity
the other day, and perhaps he did become that. But once he had
been the Golden Boy. Glorious. Handsome, charming, irresistible.
Women fell at his feet
.

What's this? Tears on my cheeks? Am I crying for my father?
Or Robin? Or Princess Diana? My feelings are muddled up
today and my emotions are on the surface
.

My father Harry Turner. I loved him and now I also revere
him. How proud I am of his great accomplishments and what
he did for Deravenels during the years he ran it
…

Does the victim always love the tormentor? Is that the way
it is with everyone? I have often wondered why my father
treated me so shabbily when I was a child, why he was so
violent verbally, so appallingly nasty to me. He shouted and
ranted and sent me away. He was a wealthy man and yet he
kept Kat Ashe on a tight budget and we were always short
of money those years when I was growing up. It was people
like Aunt Grace Rose and John Dunley, Robin's father, who
showed me kindness and brought some happiness into my life.
John because he allowed his son to come and stay at Waverley
Court, and Grace Rose because she invited me to visit her at
Stonehurst Farm. And when I was there, either alone or with
Robin, we were dreadfully spoiled by her. She created magical
times for us
.

Why did my father hate me when I was a little girl? Was it
because he saw my mother in me? And had he hated my mother
so much that he had to take it out on me? An innocent child,
who could only have been HIS, with my bright auburn hair and
tall, slender build like my grandfather Henry Turner. Harry
Turner never laid a hand on me in violence, but his tongue was
like a lash. I was his victim and yet I loved him, and tried so
hard to please him. Was that because I wanted him so desperately
to love me; to bring me back into the fold? He did that
when I least expected it, when I had not seen him for years. He
invited me to come and visit him with Mary, my half-sister, and
we all had lunch together. He liked what he saw, I think, and he
was impressed by my intelligence and tickled to death that I had
his colouring and bright red hair. And so I was accepted.
According to Kat Ashe, my father was awed by my knowledge,
and proud of my extraordinary education, at least so she informed
me at that time
.

Robin believes my vow never to marry springs from my fear
of it. And he says I fear marriage because I've seen such terrible
examples of the state of matrimony. Perhaps he's correct. I cannot
fathom out why a piece of paper makes a difference in a relationship.
It is, after all, just a piece of paper … no, not true.
It's a LEGAL piece of paper that has a great deal of importance
in many matters in our lives. I am not enamoured of it even
though I an enamoured of Robin. I must therefore consider that
piece of paper … most carefully. I must also do my best to make
Robin feel better. I must reassure him
…

‘Come in, Merry,' Elizabeth called out, in answer to the loud knock on her office door.

Merry's beautiful face appeared around it, and she said, ‘Marcus Johnson's here. Shall I show him in?'

‘Yes, and will you please let Grace Rose know that I'll be there for drinks with her at six o'clock, as I promised.'

‘Yes, I will.' Merry disappeared and closed the door behind her.

Elizabeth pulled the black folder towards her, opened it, and ran her eyes down the list of points which had been made on the first sheet by Marcus Johnson. Then she looked up as Merry showed him in.

Standing, she went around the desk, took his outstretched hand and shook it. ‘Good morning, Marcus, I'm glad you could come today instead of tomorrow. I'm very appreciative.'

‘Morning, Elizabeth, and there was no problem at all.'

‘Do sit down,' she murmured, and took a seat opposite him behind her desk.

‘Tragic, wasn't it, about Princess Diana? Everybody's still reeling,' Marcus remarked as he settled in the chair.

‘Including me. I haven't been able to shake off the sadness or the sense of …
doom
,' Elizabeth said. ‘I can't help thinking it was an accident that needn't have happened.'

‘I think that as well, and so do a lot of people. Not enough care was taken of her … it seems to me that it was a … well, a bit of a chaotic situation.'

‘Now that you mention it, I have a feeling it probably was.'
Glancing at the page in front of her, she went on, ‘Well, let's get down to business, Marcus. I'm really pleased with this proposal of yours, thrilled actually.' She smiled, and added, ‘I want to hire your company to do the launch of the Elizabeth Turner Spas, and also I'd like you to help with the publicity for the auction of the Deravenel–Turner Collections. Sotheby's will be doing a great deal, of course, but I have a feeling I might need some … well, let's just call it auxiliary publicity, shall we? How do you feel about this?'

‘We can handle everything for you, and thank you for your confidence in us, Elizabeth. I'll put two different account executives on. One, with her own staff, will deal with publicity for the spas, and the other person, also with a staff, can work on the auction.' He leaned forward slightly. ‘You obviously like our plan, and the way we wish to launch the spas. How do you feel about the launch party being held at a hotel though, rather than at the spa in London?'

‘I love it! And you came up with the best suggestion, in my opinion, the
perfect solution
,' Elizabeth laughed. ‘I was really worried about my white floors, white curtains and white furniture. And masses of people spilling drinks, dropping food and scuffing the floors.'

‘I know what you mean. It's a nightmarish scenario. And that was the first thing Isabella Fort came up with. She focused on it immediately and opted for the hotel reception. She suggested the Dorchester for the launch, as you've read in our presentation. Or do you prefer another hotel?'

‘The Dorchester is fine for the reception. Also, I'm keen on the idea of giving tours to a few beauty, health and fashion editors. Showing the spa to them in groups of six, with a catered lunch at the spa afterwards is brilliant. In fact, I approve of all of your ideas, which is why I'm hiring you. When do you think you'll need to start?'

‘If you still plan to open the first spa in London in April of
1998, then it would have to be now. Immediately. We do need six months to plan everything properly.'

‘I'll give the contracts you prepared to Merry and she'll look them over, as will my lawyers, before I sign them. We'll get them back to you as quickly as possible. In the meantime, there are a couple of things I'd like to discuss with you.'

‘Then let's do it,' Marcus said. ‘I've plenty of time this morning.'

‘I really believe she's going too fast, too soon,' Mark Lott said, lifting his dry martini, taking a sip. ‘Too big for her breeches, this one.'

Alexander Dawson laughed gleefully. ‘Got it in for her, Mark, have you? Or would you rather have it
in
her, eh?'

‘Don't be bloody daft! Do you honestly think I'd even consider putting my most prized possession where bloody Dunley's been? Not on your life, mate. Anyway, she's not my type.'

‘She's certainly
his
. Those two are fucking like rabbits day and night, and the whole bloody town knows it. And don't think it sits well in the City. There's a lot of talk about the lady boss of Deravenels and her right-hand man having it off. Those guys might like to have a bit of the old fornication on the side, but they're very disapproving when it comes to doing it in the office.'

‘They're not doing it in the office, are they?' Mark asked shrilly, starring at his colleague askance.

‘Don't be a twit! It's a matter of speech.
Colleagues
doing it together, that's what's verboten. But getting back to your first point, about her going too fast, are you referring to the spas?'

‘Of course I am. They're going to cost a fortune,' Mark asserted.

Alexander motioned to the waiter, ordered two more dry martinis, then addressed Mark. ‘Where are your brains today,
you old duffer? The company's not paying for the spas. She is, with her own money.'

‘She doesn't have any money, as you well know. Sweet little Mary saw to that, dropping all that lovely lolly into the hot greedy hands of that Spanish conniver, Alvarez. He certainly knew how to diddle her.'

‘In more ways than one,' Alexander shot back with a suggestive smirk. ‘Much to the horror of Norfell. I've always thought he'd have liked to slip into her knickers any time he could. They were as thick as thieves, you know. In fact, maybe he did have a go now and then.'

‘Talking bloody nonsense, you are, laddie. Norfell and Mary went to the same church and that's the sum total of it. Norfell's picky when it comes to his tarts. He likes them pale-skinned and thin. And
hot
… hot to trot. Mary wasn't his type; too dark, heavy and … mournful,' Mark finished knowingly.