Being Zolt (9 page)

The next morning, Zolt and I fed each other fresh fruit while I sat on his lap in the kitchen. The juice of a strawberry dribbled off his lips, and I greedily licked it off.

“Mmm,” I moaned in delight. I leaned in and nibbled on his earlobe, making him squirm. Then, I proceeded to tell him where else I wanted to lick, and how I was dying to use my mouth and tongue on his hard cock.

He let out a low, guttural moan of need, which made me wet and needy.

Being with Zolt had turned me into a wanton and wild woman, and I loved it. I felt sexy and desirable. I’d finally grown into my skin as a woman. Having a man love and cherish you changed everything.

I nibbled his earlobe again, and then ran the tip of my tongue behind his ear, sucking on a spot I knew drove him crazy.

“Irelyn,” he growled. “If you don’t stop that, I’m going to clear this table and fuck you on it, and I won’t care if Brody catches us.”

Ignoring his warning, I continued my way down his neck to his jawline, until I finally landed at my intended destination. I savaged his mouth with mine, unable to restrain myself.

Zolt took hold of my ponytail and pulled my head back, breaking our kiss.

I grumbled at the loss of contact, and I pouted my lips.

“It won’t work.” Zolt glanced at me discerningly, arching a brow.

“What?” I answered sheepishly.

“You’re stalling, Irelyn, hoping that I’ll forget about Chris’s video; I won’t. We need to do this.”

I sighed out my resignation, knowing he was right. But it was more than apprehension that kept me from seeing the video message Chris had left. Fear with its nasty, invading tentacles had gripped me. I didn’t want to return to where I’d been right after his death.

“Talk to me, baby. The wheels are spinning in your head. I can tell, by the way, your pupils have dilated that you’re freaking. Why?” He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear, and I closed my eyes, reveling in his touch.

“I’m afraid,” I said and opened my eyes.

“I can see that.”

“Not afraid of what he’ll say exactly but more afraid of my reaction.”

Zolt embraced me, and I leaned my head on his shoulder.

“I didn’t do well after his death. For over a week, I retreated into myself, too freaked out to even go to the funeral.”

Zolt didn’t say anything, but his strong hold on me and the love I felt from him told me everything, and I continued.

“I still haven’t seen his grave. I know I should, but I can’t bring myself to. I guess that’s why I didn’t look at his laptop until now. It took me over six months to get in the Mustang. During that time is when I let Marcus in, and when my parents tightened their hold on me, treating me like a child instead of a grown woman. I know I need to see the message. It’s important for Kenna and for me. The worst part of this is it comes from an entirely selfish place.” I lifted my head, gazing into Zolt’s eyes, needing the reassurance I knew I’d find there.

“How so? How is not wanting to see his message selfish?”

“Because I’m happy. For the first time since Chris’s death, I’m happy. I want to hold on to this feeling, and I know as soon as I watch his message, it will be gone. My contentment will be replaced with guilt. Kenna should be my one and only concern.”

“Irelyn,” Zolt said soothingly as he stroked my cheek with his finger. “I understand what you’re saying because I’m right there with you. But we deserve this. Kenna will be saved, I promise. While it’s taking far longer than any of us wants, we will recover her. When we do, we’ll be here to help her deal with what happened. Just like I’ll be here with you today when you see Chris’s message. The selfish thing would be to ignore the video because you’re afraid. That’s not you, Irelyn. You’re one of the bravest, most caring people I know.”

Zolt kissed me sweetly, and I fell even more in love with him.

Brody came into the kitchen, pulling us from our moment.

“Geez, you two. Take it behind closed doors,” he complained as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Fuck off, Brody,” Zolt retorted.

I had to laugh at their interaction. It reminded me of the kind of relationship that Cory and Chris used to have. Somehow, within that memory, I found the strength I needed to hear Chris’s voice one last time.

I sat behind Zolt’s desk in his office, staring at the open laptop in front of me. Zolt and Brody flanked me, lending me their support. With a deep breath, I typed in the recovered password and waited for the laptop to boot.

After a minute, Chris’s desktop came into view, making me suck in a breath. I’d forgotten he had a picture of Rachel, Cory, me and him, taken when we went to Vegas for my twenty-first birthday. We had a blast that weekend, and the bittersweet memories put another ding in my already-battered heart.

“You’re doing great, Irelyn. Just great,” Brody encouraged.

“I’m right here. Squeeze my hand as hard as you must.” Zolt brought our joined hands to his lips and kissed mine.

When I stared at our hands, I was shocked to see just how tight a hold I had on his. Smiling weakly, I dropped it and steeled myself for the inevitable. The best course of action would be to get it over with; rip off the proverbial bandage so I could deal with the wound underneath.

With a shaking hand, I navigated to where T said the video diary lived. Just as he said, it was hidden in a file named OU812, a reference to our favorite Van Halen CD. It still amazed me that he and his men had found it, but that was what made T-bone the best.

Pointing the cursor over the entry named
For Irelyn,
I right-clicked on the file and was prompted for a password. My eyes darted to Zolt’s before I typed it in. I needed to find the strength to do this, but right now, all I wanted to do was crawl under the bed and hide.

“You can do this, Irelyn,” Zolt reassured.

I shook my head, wondering if I’d turned yellow because I sure felt like a coward. Seeing Chris and hearing his voice would open old wounds. Though I’d managed to keep myself from falling completely apart after Marcus’s visual and physical torture, I wasn’t sure I could stay in control once I saw the video of my brother.

Zolt turned my face from the laptop, forcing me to look at him. “Do you want me to open the file, Irelyn?”

I wanted to say “No, I can do it,” but I couldn’t find the words. They had exited stage left along with my resolve, so I nodded and let Zolt take over.

A few seconds later, my brother’s beautiful face appeared on the screen. I dug my nails into my leg and begged my tears to stay away, but they coursed mercilessly down my cheeks anyway.

Zolt glanced at me and paused the program. Without words, he caught Brody’s gaze. His brother stood, squeezed my shoulder and left the room.

“Stand,” Zolt commanded.

Without question, I did. He sat down in the chair I had just vacated, spreading his legs and making room for me to sit between them.

“Sit.”

I sat on the chair between Zolt’s legs and leaned back against his firm chest. He started the video again, and as Chris came to life in front of me, Zolt wrapped his arms around me, holding me, giving me the love and strength I so desperately needed.

“Irelyn,” Chris said, letting out a long, agonized sigh. His beautiful green eyes were dark and as tortured as his sigh had been.

I wanted to reach in and touch him—hold his hand and tell him that everything worked out. But it hadn’t. The situation couldn’t be more jacked up. He was dead. Ruthlessly murdered in cold blood by a monster of a man he’d called a friend.

I started to shake as the memory of Chris lying dead in a pool of his own blood bombarded me. I couldn’t do this. I just couldn’t.

Zolt stopped the video again.

“You can do this, Irelyn,” he said, negating my thoughts with his reassuring words. “I know it will seem like an eternity, but it’s only a few minutes. That’s it, baby. Just a few minutes.”

Swallowing hard, I nodded, and Zolt started the video once more.

“If you’re seeing this, it means some major shit has gone down and I’ve either disappeared or am dead. It also probably means you’re with Marcus; though, I pray to God I’m wrong.” Chris’s gorgeous countenance twisted with hate as he growled Marcus’s name.

“The first thing I’m going to tell you is to get away from Marcus. I just hope you’re seeing this before he’s convinced you to be with him or worse, marry him.” Chris sucked in a ragged breath and leaned closer to the screen. “He’s bad news, Irelyn. Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Him!”

My blood turned cold with my brother’s words and his message that had come too late to save me from everything I’d given to Marcus. But I had to hope Chris had more to tell us that would help Kenna.

Chris’s demeanor relaxed some and he sat back in his chair. “I know things—incriminating things. I’ve kept them to myself because it indicts our father, as well. But I’m done protecting him. Fuck him! He deserves everything he gets and more. I will never forgive him for what he’s done or will do. If I am dead, make no mistake, my death is on his head as much as it will be on Marcus’s.”

Quickly, I clicked the mouse and stopped the video.

“Why didn’t he just leave?” I said through my tears, turning to look at Zolt. “If he knew he was in danger, why didn’t he just leave?”

“I don’t know. Let’s watch the rest of the video.” I could tell from the shake in Zolt’s voice that this affected him as much as it did me.

I restarted the video, vowing not to stop it again.

“I’m sure you’re probably wondering why I didn’t leave if I’m worried about my safety?”

I laughed. Even from beyond the grave, Chris read my mind; he always could. It used to freak me out. Now, it made me love and miss him even more.

“I had to protect you, Irelyn. I’ve done everything in my power to do so. I can’t elaborate other than to say our father made some major mistakes and turned to Marcus for help. You paid the price to save his sorry ass.”

Chris stopped again and scrubbed his hands over his face; stress lines marred his forehead. “This isn’t what I wanted. I never dreamed that Jacob could be such a spineless, cheating bastard and Marcus would turn the club into a BDSM sex den. It was supposed to be a harmless club with games of chance and the like. You know a place where rich fucks could come drink, screw around with beautiful women, play some poker — shit like that. When it turned into a place where we planned to auction girls against their consent for money, I put my foot down. But since you’re watching this, I guess my foot wasn’t big enough to stop Marcus.”

“So,” Chris said and pinched the bridge of his nose. “There’s only one thing I can think to do for you. One thing I’m hoping won’t be sabotaged. Irelyn, I’m sending you Zolt Hamil. I hope to God he can help you, even if I can’t.”

I gasped at Chris’s words, not believing my ears, and embraced Irelyn tighter.

What the fuck!

“I’ll never forget that day on the sidelines during the Cardinal’s playoff game against the Steelers,” Chris continued.

“Neither will I,” I grumbled into Irelyn’s hair.

“You were so distraught. At first, I found it irritating when your despair lasted well into the next week. You were a fifteen-year-old girl completely torn up over a man you didn’t even know. You acted as if the two of you had a relationship—some kind of connection based on a fleeting moment. As the years passed, I started to look on it differently, especially when it became clear that day had stayed with you. I couldn’t help wondering if there were something bigger at play. You know me, I’m not a romantic by any means, but something about what happened between you and Zolt struck me.”

Irelyn and I both drew in a breath at the same time. She turned around and looked at me. The smile and love I saw on her face took my breath away.

Together we both turned our attention back to the screen to listen to the rest of Chris’s message.

“So, I did some research on him and found out he had become a lawyer. I went to Dad and convinced him to interview Zolt and bring him here. I knew Dad wanted to bring sports representation into the firm’s repertoire, and the idea of an ex-Arizona-Cardinal-quarterback-turned-lawyer would appeal to him in a big way. I hope that at this very moment, Zolt Hamil is working at the firm and the two of you have reconnected.

“If you have, if you have feelings for him, and he has them for you, don’t ignore them because of Marcus. I don’t care what he does, Irelyn. Move Heaven and Earth if you have to, but don’t let that monster control you. But I’m afraid I fucked up, yet again. Marcus asked me about Zolt and I stupidly told him Dad hired him. Now, I’m afraid he’ll do something to stop Zolt from coming here.”

“I’ll talk to Dad again and remind him of the benefits of bringing Zolt into the firm and the possible increased revenue stream. Hopefully, that will be enough to get him to push for Zolt. I have to believe somewhere in his greedy, black heart that our father cares about you enough to do this for you.”

Chris ran his hands through his hair. “Time is running out for me. This whole situation is so jacked-up that it’s almost laughable. I just hope I’ve done enough for you. The thought that you might end up with Marcus makes me physically ill. I’ll do anything to stop that from happening.”