Being(s) In Love 03 - A Beginner’s Guide to Wooing Your Mate (6 page)

“He knew,” Theo confirmed in a tiny voice. If the sheriff had been rejected, what chance had Theo had? Why hadn’t they taught that in their sex and mating talk in middle school? He would have pored over a book called
How To Introduce Yourself To Your Mate
. Or, even,
What To Do When Your Mate Doesn’t Want You
.

“Well, then the kid must have known too, from the way he was staring. But when Sheriff Neri tried to talk to him, introduce himself, Littlewolf flinched as if the sheriff had insulted him, or scared him. That’s what Robin’s Egg said. Like the sheriff scared him, and then Littlewolf accused Sheriff Neri of”—Violet whispered in confused panic—“wanting to have his way with him or something.”

“That’s… what?” Theo’s mind wasn’t working properly today. “He thought the sheriff was going to….” He didn’t know how to finish that. It sounded like something from a human novel exaggerating the Old Ways and alpha wolf behavior.

Violet seemed to understand. “I
know
. He seemed to think he was going to be forced to say yes. Something like that. Are you guys sure you’re asking right?”

Theo’s cookies were burned. He moved to yank open the oven and look over a ruined batch. Only a minute too long, but it was enough to leave them less than perfect. Luckily Theo had more to replace them. He tossed the overdone batch in the trash and ignored Violet’s protest that they weren’t that bad. Robin’s Egg had said the sheriff barely managed a word, so how could he have asked incorrectly? As for Theo, he knew he hadn’t asked correctly. He’d known it the second he’d done it. His failure was his own.

“Poor Sheriff Neri,” he commented, setting the sheet aside to cool before going back to his dough. He had more to go. If he stayed up late he could get them all baked and iced and packed away. He wasn’t on shift tonight. There was nothing stopping him.

“You’re going to bake all night, aren’t you?” Violet did not seem surprised. Theo could detect their guilt now, and something saltier, sadder. People often smelled like that around Theo, as if it wasn’t enough for them that he was up and walking around, part of the world again.

He said nothing for a few minutes. Violet finally threw their hands in the air and went to the fridge for more juice.

“Are you going to help me with these or what?” Theo wondered, although Violet had no talent or interest in baking and generally got in his way and broke his concentration.

“I will help you eat them,” they answered cagily, although making no move to leave Theo’s kitchen or Theo’s house. So Theo wasn’t to be left alone tonight. He wasn’t surprised. His mom or dad would probably call later. He hadn’t told them, but someone would.

He stamped out another bear shape. “You know I won’t eat any. I don’t like cookies.” Yet his counter would soon be overflowing with them. Theo felt very obvious sometimes, though no one but Violet ever seemed to notice. No one else knew him; that was the reason. No one else would ever know him.

“Teddy baby, if I could get you drunk, I would.” Violet gave him a sideways hug, then took a second to pat down their hair.

“If I could stay drunk longer than a few minutes, I probably still wouldn’t,” Theo argued. He’d lost control two times before in his life and had no desire to repeat either experience. They’d had this discussion before. Violet thought Theo should let loose, express the feelings Violet felt he was suppressing. Theo wanted to be left alone.

Today Violet went easy on him and didn’t argue. “Did you seriously promise people bear cookies? Why?”

“They’re going to be pandas,” Theo corrected, then shrugged. “I had nothing else to do.” He was glad he’d made that promise. Otherwise he wasn’t sure what he would have done tonight. Of course, the coffee shop at the library didn’t need more than two dozen, and neither did Robbie’s son for his birthday party.

If he was going to keep baking at this level, he ought to do it full time, but Theo couldn’t imagine this as a real business. His stuff was good, but it wasn’t amazing, no matter what people sometimes said. Baking was a relief for him more than a side income. It kept him in the house and gave him something else to focus on. He needed that today. His heart was still racing from hearing that name.

“Theo, you know you can go out. You can even date whenever you are ready. You’re not dead.” Those were also words Violet had said to him before. Theo crushed the soft cookie in his hand before he could get it onto a cookie sheet. “Or you and the sheriff can start a support group,” Violet added, greenish eyes twinkling.

Theo let out a frustrated breath. After a moment’s hesitation, he threw the lump of dough at them. It hit Violet’s cheek before they grabbed it and ate the entire thing. “Oh my goodness,” Violet moaned around a mouthful of sugar cookie dough. Their cheeks flushed with color. “This is too good to be made by someone who doesn’t like cookies. This is aggressively delicious. Like a cookie that wants to be noticed, that demands to be noticed.” Violet grabbed a baked one and ate that too, though it hadn’t been frosted yet. “
I
appreciate you, cookies.”

“How hungry are you?” Theo tried to breathe normally. “You’re talking crazy.”

“Am I?” Violet went for cookie number three and met Theo’s gaze.

Theo went to the oven. “Does the town really know? That it was”—he braced himself for the name—“Zeki? How do they know?” Theo hadn’t told anyone but his family and Violet. He didn’t think Zeki had ever told anyone, but he guessed he could have.

Violet must have had the same thought. “I don’t know. Only a jerk would talk about it. But maybe Zeki is a—” The sentence went unfinished at Theo’s soft growl. “Okay, okay.” Violet backed down. “Maybe he’s not a jerk. But everyone knows anyway. Maybe they always knew and never said anything because he wasn’t in town. I mean, I know everyone knows about your cousin, but no one has said a word about it to him.”

Theo tried to imagine what was going on with his cousin Albert, then shoved the thought away for later. Violet was right. People might have always known. They might have been testing Zeki today. He took out more cookies to cool but didn’t put any more in. He forced his words out in a quiet rush. “He was at the café this morning… when we washed the trucks.”

“What?” A cookie hit the floor, and Theo winced. Violet seemed to grow in height, their greenish eyes becoming a definite, harder emerald. “He was in the pack of oglers? That jerk.”

“I wasn’t a firefighter then. He probably didn’t know I would be there when he sat down.” Theo had told himself that all day. It had to have been an accident. Unless it wasn’t. Unless Zeki Janowitz had shown up there on purpose, but Theo couldn’t imagine why he would, even when he wanted to think it was because Zeki had changed his mind about them. “But….” This Theo would not admit even to his parents. “He was… I could feel him watching me.”

“You’re worth watching.” He took comfort in how fast Violet answered. But his heart seemed to thrum nervously for the moment Violet took before going on. “I keep telling you that. But, hmm. Good. He thinks you’re hot. Make him want you, then dump him. Let him know how it feels, which I assume is terrible.”

“You know I’m not going to do that. I couldn’t and I wouldn’t.” Theo was no seducer, and even if he were, he would never punish Zeki for the rejection. Zeki had every right to say no, to say he’d known already and had been hoping Theo wouldn’t notice. That was how it worked, no matter how painful it was. Theo could have said no too. Instead he’d flung himself toward it without thinking. That was how Zeki remembered him, a too-eager, fumbling teenager.

He cringed, and then stood there wishing he had more cookies to watch over or that they were cool enough to begin icing them.

“I realize a rejection that deep at sixteen affects a person, Theo, but perhaps you’ve never seen yourself.” Pixies were capable of biting sarcasm when it suited them.

Theo shook his head. “He didn’t want me the first time. He’s not going to change his mind now. Anyway, that doesn’t matter, because I would never hurt him.”

“Yes, yes, protect your mate at all costs. Your standard werewolf ‘my instincts say so’ line.” Pixies were also capable of being dicks to their friends when it came to instinctual behavior they didn’t understand. Violet flapped a hand at him. “You won’t let your friends trash talk him even a little. The sheriff gets his weird, scrawny werewolf mate a job and a place to stay, despite accusations of
whatever
in front of everyone in town. I get it. Today happened and now these cookies aren’t going to get done if we don’t step on it.”

Theo could breathe again. “Okay.”

“Okay.” Violet grumbled one last time. “But I might punch him if he takes anyone up on their… oh, did I tell you how good these cookies are? Great cookies. The best. How are you going to do black icing?”

The sudden fast talking clued Theo in more than the sweaty, anxious scent. Springtime in Wolf’s Paw meant horny and lonely tourists. Zeki must have already gotten some attention from them. Some tourists didn’t care if they found a were or a human. Zeki must really be something if he’d gotten more than one offer in his first day in town.

He had every right to choose someone else. But Theo hadn’t prepared for having to witness it. He’d never expected to have to.

Zeki had an entire world in which to choose another, Theo couldn’t help but think, hot and sick. He didn’t have to come home to Wolf’s Paw to hook up with someone else. Now he would let someone else touch him, let someone else know him, right in front of Theo? Even a lost mate couldn’t be so cruel, surely. Theo didn’t think he could go outside now without accidentally tracking Zeki’s scent. He didn’t want to risk stumbling upon Zeki on a date, or worse, in someone’s hotel room. If Zeki was in town for the full moon Theo would have to leave. If he stayed in town, the chances of him doing something foolish would get so much worse. He’d have to leave before he found himself howling at windows, listening to the sounds Zeki made when he was with someone.

He couldn’t breathe. Theo pushed away from the counter and stumbled. He heard his name and drew in a deep, long breath.

“Theo! TheoTheoTheo!” Violet snapped their fingers in front of his face.

Theo came back to awareness, still trembling weakly. He was in his living room, with a very worried and wide-eyed pixy in front of him. He realized he was on his couch and partially shifted. He blinked down at his paws as they turned achingly back to human hands and then pulled his claws from the cushion. His couch had been secondhand, but in good condition until now. He’d ruined it, he noticed dimly.

The air smelled warm, like the oven was on, but nothing was baking. The cookies were cooling now, butter and vanilla scents drifting in from the kitchen. Violet was anxiety and the same salty sadness. Theo studied the holes he’d left in the cushion. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… do this.”

“It’s your couch. Stop apologizing.” Violet tackled him the moment he spoke, squashing on top of him the way his older sister had done when Theo had been little and worried about something he’d broken with clumsy childhood strength. The hug was a wolf thing, a family thing. Theo allowed it, going still when Violet snuffled into his shoulder and probably smeared eyeliner on him. “Don’t worry about me, Theo,” they mumbled. “You want me to call your folks? Do you need some pack time?”

Zeki Janowitz was in town. Zeki was in town, and Theo couldn’t, wouldn’t do a thing about it. His family couldn’t help him, even if they weren’t out of town at a powwow. Theo should have gone with them the way he normally did, but he’d had work, and he’d been grateful for the chance to avoid a large gathering of people, all of them concerned and nosy and pitying. He’d never been much of a dancer anyway. But if he’d gone, he would never have been here to face the realization.

Zeki was here, and he was going to meet someone and get on with his life while Theo hid in his house and baked desserts he wouldn’t eat.

“I have cookies to finish,” he answered after a while. “Dozens of pandas.”

“Yeah, I’m going to call your mom.” Violet pulled back to glare stubbornly. “I will assist you with your delicious cookies, and then I am calling your mom. She can talk to you, then come home and take you for a run.”

“I’m not going to disappear again,” Theo promised obediently, but looked away from Violet’s now-brown eyes. He stared toward his kitchen.

“And this tricksy pixy believes you,” Violet insisted, “but I’m going to call your mom anyway. Finish cookies. Talk to Mom. Go to bed. Or stay up. Whatever you want. His name doesn’t have to come up ever again.” Violet petted the top of Theo’s head, and Theo didn’t feel like reminding them he wasn’t a dog. He finally gave in and leaned against his friend.

“I want to finish those cookies, Violet.” Theo kept his voice gentle. “That’s all I want. Really.”

Violet gave a long, dramatic sigh. “Werewolves are terrible liars.”

That was true. But what Theo wanted he couldn’t have, so he might as well finish the cookies. He moved, and Violet climbed off him, smelling of lavender and salt and anger. But when Theo went back to the kitchen, Violet followed, and kept silent as Theo lost himself in the icing.

Chapter 3