Belonging to Bandera (10 page)

“That’s true,” Bandera said.

“I want to be nothing for a while,” she said. “In general. I need time to think.”

He swallowed, his heart shriveling. She was totally serious about this, and he sensed that if he pushed her, he’d lose her forever. “I’m sorry if I’ve come on too strong. It’s sort of my nature, as you’ve noticed.”

This time, she took his hand and moved in next to him. “I’ve noticed that with your family and friends, it’s all pretty much a walk on the wild side. I really admire that. I do.” She took a deep breath. “But think about it. I’m a virgin, as you know from overhearing my phone conversation. One who lives very close to her parents, and who does nothing more exciting than plan weddings for a living.”

“Sounds pretty explosive to me.”

Smiling, she shook her head. “No. I had my life all planned out.” She frowned. “But today was a slight bump I wasn’t anticipating.”

“I like the way you handled it.”

She looked up at him. “At first I thought you were trying to make me feel better by being so attentive. But now I think you might just be a rogue, enjoying a flirtation.”

“Rogue. I like the sound of that. Bandera the rogue.”

She tapped his chest. “Pay attention here. I’m trying my best to be honest.”

“So far I’m coming off pretty heroic. Continue.”

She took a deep breath. “Okay. But then I met Mimi—”

“Blast Mimi. Something about her soured my game plan.”

Holly laughed. “No. But you can see how much she and Mason like each other.”

“You can?” Bandera put his arms around Holly as sneakily as he could. Maybe while she was busy philosophizing, she wouldn’t notice him enjoying how great she felt. Never had he encountered such soft skin, such smoothness. Almost like the meringue his mother used to put on the tops of pies at Christmas.

“You are definitely not paying attention,” she told him. “And I believe you’re copping a feel.”

He let go of her bra strap. “Sorry.”

She smiled. “No, you’re not.” Stepping away from him, she looked up, searching his eyes. “I hope you understand.”

He was still thinking about the tiny bra strap at her back. When he was young, he’d gained the very elementary skill of undoing a bra with one hand. It was no harder than throwing a lasso just right, or hanging on to a saddle horn. The challenge was in the timing.

His timing was clearly off. “I think so. You want to be friends.”

“Well, friends who care about each other.”

He sighed. “All right. I can handle rejection with the best of them. I have been thrown before and lived.”

“Come on,” she said. “Let’s go eat that wonderful supper.”

“And then what?”

“I’ve vacationed enough,” she said. “I’d like to go home and do some planning.”

“More planning,” he grumbled good-naturedly. “To think I almost had you in action mode.”

“If I’m going to start a new business, it will take lots of planning.”

“Hey, I’m still in on that.”

“Good. Business partners will be a lot more fun than being…whatever it was you had in mind.”

He grinned. No, business partnerships weren’t more fun than other kinds of…partnerships.

But she didn’t know that.

For now, he sensed it was best to let her run her rope for a while—before he ever so gently pulled her back in.

She smiled at him, and he tweaked her nose gently.

He was okay with “just friends.” Time was on his side.

Eventually she would come to him.

Holly walked back inside with Bandera, feeling good and yet somehow bad about the conversation they’d just had. The truth was, she had been flattered by his attention. But he was so handsome, so sure of himself that he was scaring her a bit.

She needed some time to figure things out. After all, she’d just made a colossal mistake.

Bandera was so much temptation she feared she might use him to rebound, based on her crushed dreams. It would be too easy to fall into this man’s very willing arms.

But it wasn’t nice to lead someone on, and she didn’t know if she’d ever be able to find joy in another relationship. Romance seemed to be wired with booby traps.

For now, though, she’d just enjoy Bandera’s company and a meal with his friends.

“Mason,” Mimi said a little while later as she pushed away her plate, “I think I’ll head on back.”

He seemed surprised. “What’s the rush?”

“You have somewhere to go. I have a baby waiting at home.”

“Well, okay, if you want.” He stood. “But we were planning on bunking here for the night, and then head out at first light. Jelly and Hawk and I want to talk over some plans. So don’t rush off.”

Mimi hesitated. Holly could practically feel the other woman’s indecision. Half of her wanted to stay, half of her knew she should go.

Holly completely understood. Bandera made her feel like that.

“Hey, Mimi,” Mason said, “stay awhile longer.”

Bandera blinked. Hawk and Jellyfish raised their heads. Holly tried to look busy rearranging her napkin. How could Mimi resist the plea in that voice? she wondered.

Mimi blushed. “If Holly’s staying, I suppose I could.”

Holly glanced up, startled. Now that was a new angle! “I am staying tonight, but if you’re changing your plans and leaving in the morning, could you give me a ride?”

“That would be great.” Mimi smiled. “It would be wonderful to have a woman to visit with on the drive. I’d really enjoy getting to know you.”

“Great,” Bandera said. “Thelma and Louise all over again.”

Mason started to say something, his mouth opening and closing, then he finally just shut it.

“Sounds like everything is worked out,” Hawk said, getting to his feet. “In the morning, we four men will ride out to Alaska. You two ladies will find spiritual comfort in each other as you return home.”

The table fell silent at that pronouncement.

Holly wondered why she felt so awkward. She had to leave sooner or later. Bandera was just a momentary fling. His attention, his sense of adventure—none of that was right for her in the long term. As a student of life she was cautious.

Business partners, maybe. Anything more, no.

“I’ll be ready when you are, Mimi,” Holly said brightly, taking her dishes into the kitchen, already knowing she would miss Bandera like crazy.

H
AWK AND
J
ELLY MADE
a campfire outside, studying maps for two hours after dinner. Holly was holed up in a guest room. Mason listened to the men plan their trip, sometimes answering questions, and Mimi sat beside him, their arms not touching.

Bandera rubbed dirt off his boot toe as he sat at the campfire. Okay, so it was early June, and they could have done this planning stuff inside, but Jelly’s
house was a tax address, not really a place of comfort. His home was the outdoors. In fact, he often slept in a sleeping bag on the porch or in the woods along the water. Sometimes he retired to the pier so he could hear the fish jump and the birds and insects move in the trees at night.

Bandera got up and tossed out his original goal of following Mason—even to Alaska. He knocked on Holly’s door.

When she opened it, his gut slid over, despite his best attempt not to stare at her in her long white gown with streaming satin ribbons. He’d like to say it wasn’t sexy, but he couldn’t. The top was held up with thin straps, and the sides were cut out. It was basically see-through, and the lamp on the table backlit her.

Damn,
he thought,
there is no way we can be just friends.
“Ah,” he said, backing away from the door, “I’m sorry. I thought maybe you were watching TV. I didn’t realize you were in bed.”

She looked at him, her face sweet and innocent. “Was there something you wanted?”

“Yes. I mean, no!” He gathered his wits, taking a deep breath. “That’s a beautiful, uh, nightgown.” The second he told her, he wished he hadn’t. Even as a schoolboy he hadn’t been this uncertain; he’d had the one-handed bra strap removal down cold. Why did this woman make him feel as though his every breath felt better, deeper, more alive, when he was with her?

“Thank you. It’s my wedding nightgown.” She smiled at him. “No point in it going to waste, I decided. This is the closest to a real wedding night that I’ll get.”

He was trembling, or at least his hands were. His blood felt funny; his mind seemed confused. All he could register was that this woman should be his, and yet she was innocently unaware of that fact.

“I was going to see if you wanted to take a walk,” he said, trying bravely not to look below her waist and finally giving up. If he ever got married, he was going to fill his home with lamps—cheery, homey little lamps that sent a glow right through any fabric on a woman’s body. His wife was going to wear nothing but sheer fabric, when she wore anything at all. “I’m sorry I disturbed you.”

He turned to walk away, trying to keep his lust from blowing out his brain function. Everything in his body screamed that he should go into that room and make love to that woman. He could teach her that some things were better when they weren’t planned. Without her groom, tonight was going to be lonely, and he wanted to show her that every night with
him
could seem like a real wedding night.

But she’d asked him to be friends. She needed time.

Trust was even more important than sex, and he had to let her know that he understood.

Even if it killed him.

I
N THE MORNING
, Bandera found that Holly had already left with Mimi. Mason stood by the remains of the campfire from the night before. Jelly and Hawk were nowhere to be seen, but they’d left a note that said they’d made a run for some supplies.

“I wonder what supplies one can find at six o’clock in the morning,” Bandera said, “and at what store. I didn’t see anything with a sign on it between here and Hawk’s.”

Mason grunted.

“So did Mimi say goodbye to you?”

“No. I came out here this morning to find her truck gone.”

“The least Holly could have done was say goodbye,” Bandera said. He’d never had a woman disappear on him like that before.

“She owed you nothing,” Mason said. “The way you had your paws all over her, she was probably glad you slept in.”

“I did not…” He stopped, annoyed. So he had kissed her as often as he’d dared. He’d also respected her need to be alone, though it had been difficult. “I knew she wouldn’t hang around,” he said miserably. “She was too good to be true.”

“Hell, Mimi didn’t hang around, either, and she’s always been too good to be true.”

Bandera stared at his brother, shocked. “How
come you don’t act like you think she’s too good to be true when she’s around?”

“Because.” Mason sounded surprised. “There are thoughts in that brain no man will ever understand, nor should he attempt to.”

“Mason, man, Mimi
loves
you.” Bandera stared at his brother.

Mason waved his hands in protest. “You don’t understand. Mimi loves everyone. It’s not a long-term thing. I ought to know that better than anyone,” he said with a sigh.

“What in the hell does that mean?”

“It means,” Mason said slowly, “that Miss Mimi and I have a secret no one knows. Not a single soul on the planet.”

Bandera blinked. “I’m all ears.”

“And nosy, too,” Mason growled. “Let’s just say that I know all too well how Holly feels.”

Bandera suddenly had the wildest notion that Mason had more of a grip on things than any of the brothers ever suspected; he’d just been keeping his feelings to himself all this time.
And we thought he was an unfeeling ass.

“I know what it feels like to have the person you love marry someone else,” Mason said gruffly.

Bandera frowned. “Earth to Mason. You’ve never told any woman you love her.”

“I’m not laying claim to it, so don’t ask me to,”
his brother said. “But let’s just say Mimi and I had one night where we nearly talked it all out.”

A cold wind, contrary to the June morning heat, swept through Bandera. “Wait,” he said, grabbing his brother’s sleeve as Mason turned away, “you’re not saying you and Mimi—”

Mason jerked his sleeve out of Bandera’s grasp. “I’m not saying any damn thing, except this—you need to take some time to figure out what you really want with that Holly girl. If you decide she’s the one, then don’t let her out of your sight.”

Mason walked away. Bandera stared after his brother, his jaw slack with wonder. “Mason has feelings,” he said to himself. “He’s not an unemotional blockhead.”

He was mildly jealous that Mason and Holly had found they had so much in common. They understood each other as friends.

Bandera, however, couldn’t see past Holly’s polka-dotted thong and her sheer gown. Even now, when he thought of her, he got a rise in his Levi’s that wouldn’t quit. Yes, he desired her; he knew because of the lust that hammered at his body.

But did the feeling resonate from his heart? Was it deep and real, or did he just want Holly because no one else had had her? Did he want her because she was beautiful?

If he wasn’t careful, he would end up like Mason,
which would be a fate worse than listening to his brother Crockett ramble on about art.

Holly had left him without saying goodbye, a fact that rankled and ate at Bandera’s pride. Why should he go tearing after a woman who didn’t want him?

Because,
he thought.
Because Mason said so.

But if anybody knows how to mess something up, it’s Mason.

Because if not for Mason, Bandera wouldn’t be
here
with three men about to head out on a wild-goose chase—instead of in a truck with two beautiful women.

One of whom had really caught his eye.

“S
O THE SCOOP ON THE
Jefferson men,” Mimi said to Holly as they rode down the interstate, “is that they’re different from any other men you may meet.”

Holly took that in, watching the countryside pass by. One thing she could say for certain was that Mimi drove much more slowly than Bandera. It was nice and peaceful to see the pretty green landscape as the trees exchanged their spring buds for June finery. “I did notice something different,” she finally said. “In a good way.”

“They’re wonderful. All the Jefferson men are. Their only hang-up is that they have a terrible fear of commitment, most of the time. But in the past couple of years, several of them have
run
to the altar with
the ladies they love. Of course, they met really nice women.” Mimi smiled. “It’s almost as if they know exactly what they want when they see it, and they go after it with everything they’ve got.”

“Do I sense some history between you and Mason?” Holly asked gently. She didn’t want to pry, but Mimi seemed to want to talk.

“There’s history,” she confirmed softly.

“Oh.” Holly looked at her newfound friend. Mimi seemed so gentle, so kind. Mason seemed like a cool dude. But Holly was seeing both of them from the outside looking in. There must be a reason they weren’t together…Holly’s heart ached for Mimi. She loved Mason; it was apparent, even to a stranger.

“I’m sorry,” Holly said. “Guys are kind of weird sometimes, as I just found out myself.”

Mimi laughed good-naturedly. “Mason’s more than weird sometimes. Let’s not sugarcoat it.”

Relieved, Holly smiled, too. “Okay. We won’t.”

“And while we’re vowing not to get out the artificial sweetener, let’s not sugarcoat Bandera, either. Be warned that if you’ve got your eye on him, you’ll have to do some pretty fancy roping.”

“Oh, it’s not like that,” Holly said hurriedly.

“Uh-huh.”

“We’re going into business together. In fact, Bandera has already put up a thousand dollars on good faith.” She politely neglected to mention the money
had satisfied his curiosity about her panties. “Polka dots are good luck,” she said softly. “I’m going to design a banner for my honeymoon retreat, of a balloon made with white lace and black polka dots.”

“Oh, good,” Mimi said, “Bandera loves polka dots. He’s just dotty for them.” She giggled, pleased with herself.

Holly frowned. “It’s unusual, isn’t it?”

“There is nothing normal about those men, Holly, from the way they were raised to the way they live their lives now. I would offer to help you get through your reluctance phase so you could move into your acceptance phase, but unfortunately, I’m just now moving into my own acceptance phase.”

Holly swallowed. “I should probably skip the whole thing. I’m not feeling very strong these days.”

Mimi turned to look at her briefly. “Well, tell me something. Have you ever met a man like Bandera?”

Holly could honestly say she had not. “No.”

“Are you sure you want to skip it?”