Beloved (29 page)

She pulled on her half-boots and pushed her stockings into her reticule. A moment more and her cape was settled firmly about
her shoulders.

“Good night, Saber. Thank you for agreeing to become my champion.”

“Wait.” He stopped her from approaching the door. “I will see you and Max home. Should you prefer me to speak with Struan
now, or in the morning?”

“There is no need to make a fuss about this. Come at your convenience.” What had she done? He could not help but detest her
for forcing his hand.

“Damn it, Ella. Let’s not have coy behavior now.”

“Coy?” She snorted and pulled up her hood. “Coy is something I’ve never been. Never will be. Life has not allowed me an opportunity
to develop the ability to be coy.”

“What, then?” He leaned against the door and crossed one foot over the other. “Are you going to insist that I go through the
expected courting ritual? Shall we dance a few dances at a few balls and simper through a few walks in a few gardens?”

His sarcasm cut Ella. Her legs felt fluid and shaky. “You have every right to chastise me.”

“Dash it all!” Even in the gloomy glow of a single lamp she saw a flush of anger in his cheeks. “You have what you wanted.
What the devil is this contrary behavior?”

She would never be without pride. “You, my lord, can be a crass, pompous, condescending ass. Good night.”

If he’d railed at her, she’d have managed to leave with her dignity intact.

Saber didn’t rail. He laughed. He opened his eyes wide, drove his fine white teeth into his bottom lip, braced his hands on
his knees, and burst into bellows of laughter.

“Laugh, sir. Go on, laugh. Asses bray, don’t they? So bray, sir, bray.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, and she saw the glitter of tears at their corners. Finally he wrapped his arms around his lean
middle and rested his head back against the door. “It’s— hardly—ladylike, ladylike to call a man an—ass.” Once more he dissolved
into a chuckling, rocking,
infuriatingly
amused rattle-brain.

“Let me pass, I tell you,” Ella demanded. “You are hysterical, my lord.” Her throat grew tighter by the moment. Any tears
she allowed to fall would not be tears of mirth.

“I thought you were different, not a woman likely to be offended by a man who thought you didn’t expect the niceties. I took
you for granted, didn’t I? That’s what you thought? I didn’t get down on my knee and ask for your hand. And I was supposed
to do that even though you came here and asked for mine.” His laughter faded to spasms of chuckles. “Really, Ella, you disappoint
me.”

“How unfortunate.” The tears came and she could not stop them. “You understand absolutely nothing. Do you understand that,
you cabbage-head? I need no pretty courtship. I need nothing but you, your love, your wanting to be with me. You once led
me to believe you wanted that too. All I longed for was to know I could stay where you are. But you decided to
bestow
your hand in marriage upon me. And I do thank you for that, Saber. As I’ve already said, you are an honorable man. Thank
you.”

“Ella, Ella—”

“I do not ask you to forget that I love you—there is no need because you will want to forget that. But I do love you. I will
always love you. And I think that in your way you love me.”

“Ella—!”

“Good night.”

“No.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You can’t respond to ‘good night’ with ‘no.’ Good night.”

“No.”

She spun away, and spun back to face him. “I need time to think—alone. Get out of my way.”

“No.”

“I’ll scream.”

“Scream.”

Ella wetted her lips, pressed them together, then opened her mouth …

She couldn’t scream, had never been able to scream even when she’d needed to. “Very well.” The hood was hot, and she pushed
it back. “Let me out of here.”

“Make me.”

“Oooh.” Ella paced before him.“You’d like that, wouldn’t you.”

“Would I?”

“Yes. You are excited by violence—” She knew her mistake at once.

Saber dropped his arms and stood aside. He opened the door.

“I only meant that you seemed to become quite over-wrought when you thought—”

“That will do, Ella. Don’t speak about something you don’t understand. I shall take you and Max home now.”

“No, thank you.” Mortification at her own indiscretion made her spine tingle. “We came on horseback and shall return that
way.”

“Then I shall ride with you. It’s dangerous for you to be abroad alone at this hour.”

She walked past him. “I wouldn’t dream of disturbing your routine further.”

“You have no more idea about my routine than about any other part of my life.”

“No,” she agreed tonelessly. “You are right. I know nothing about you, but I shall endeavor to learn.”

They reached the top of the stairs and Ella started down, preserving what dignity she could by not running.

Saber was right behind her. “I’ll return to Pall Mall in the morning. I hardly think my visit would be welcome now. Or will
you encounter some difficulty upon your return, do you think? If so, I’ll come in with you, of course.”

Ella gained the hall where Max stood, a wide grin on his boyishly handsome face. “I think Saber should come now, don’t you,
Ellie?”

“No,” she said, sweeping past him. “Not now. There is no need to make a fuss over this. More fuss than I have already made.”
Shame overwhelmed her.

“But—”

“Bigun,” Saber said to the hovering servant. “I need my horse.”

“At once, my lord,” Bigun said, scuttling toward the back of the house.

“I’ve decided to see your parents now.” Saber had grabbed a cravat and coat and was hastily, and not very efficiently, tying
the former. “There need be no mention of what you witnessed upstairs, young Max. You and Ella merely came for a visit at my
invitation. You were present when I made my intentions clear to her.”

Max saluted and pretended not to see Ella’s glare.

“You have your life, Saber,” she told him. “Please know that I’m aware of my selfishness. I will not allow our liaison to
interfere with the comfortable regimen you have evidently established.”

“I assure you that there is no regimen that would interfere with my being a husband to you.”

“Hush, Ella,” Max said. “You’ve got what you want, why be a widgeon about it now?”

“I do not have what I want.” She covered her eyes, shamed by the tears that refused to be suppressed for long. “I have what
I deserve.” The promise of a loveless marriage.

“Women.”
Saber pulled on his coat and snapped his shirt cuffs straight. “I shall never understand a single one of you.”

“Neither shall I,” Max said.

Ella scowled at her brother but addressed Saber. “No doubt you have had plenty of opportunities to be puzzled then, my lord.
But I expect there are other females who make up for their lack of intellect in other ways.”

“Not in my life, Ella. Not a single one.”

She glanced at him and away again. “Ella?” His voice became softly, sweetly wheedling. “Look at me, Ella.”

When she did, he smiled and came closer. “This may not have been the most romantic proposal in the world, but it will do,
won’t it? After all, you did surprise me somewhat.”

Ella wound the strings of her reticule around her fingers and nodded.

“Of course you did,” Max said. “Admit it, Ella. A chap’s got to fess up to his part in things, y’know.”

“I’m not a chap,” Ella told him indistinctly. In other circumstances she might be moved to giggle. “But you’re right. I did
surprise Saber and I ought to take responsibility for it.”

Saber stood over her. “Good. That’s fixed, then. Home now, then a morning call on your parents?”

“Yes,” Max said. “Good idea, Saber. But I’ll make sure they’re warned to wait until you get there.”

“Is that to your liking, Ella?” With a knuckle, Saber raised her chin. “We’ll deal with your demon together, you and I. And
I am glad, my dear. What I told you about my feelings is true. There is no one but you. We shall do very well together.”

Her heart lightened. After all, she had pushed him—not that a little pushing wouldn’t have been necessary at some time if
she were to make him know how much he wanted her….

“Very well.” Folding her fingers over his, she managed a wobbly smile. “We’ll do as you say.”

She heard the sound of hoofs on cobbles outside, and Max opened the door. He had tethered his own horse and Ella’s nearby.

Rather than a horse for Saber, a beautiful silver cabriolet pulled by two elegant grays drew up before the house. A particularly
small Tiger in striped livery jumped from his platform at the rear and ran to assist the occupant of the carriage to the flagway.

Dressed in a dark, swirling cloak trimmed with soft black fur, the female passenger tripped rapidly up the front steps, but
stopped abruptly when she encountered Max framed in the open doorway.

“Ah,” she exclaimed. “A new servant at last, Saber, darling? You took my advice. Really, Bigun could not be expected to continue
to do
everything.”

Ella slowly replaced her hood. Saber slipped an arm around her shoulders.

Countess Perruche’s coppery hair was unbound and flowed from beneath her hood. She sighed and then smiled at Saber. “I could
not sleep, my love, and I knew that meant I should be with you.”

“Margot, I don’t think—”

“Ella,” the countess said, suddenly frowning. “I didn’t notice you. How nice to see you. Saber is comforting you, I see. He
is a great comfort to all of his friends.”

“I’m sure he is,” Ella said stiffly. She stepped from beneath Saber’s arm. “I’ll leave you two to enjoy each other.”

“Ella, please,” Saber said. “This is not at all what it appears to be.”

“Don’t let me drive you away,” Countess Perruche said. “Oh, my dear, you care very much for Saber, don’t you? I should have
known as much at once. Please, you mustn’t think…Saber, explain to her that we are … She thinks we are other than, er … Ella,
you must try to understand certain things.”

Ella gripped Max’s arm and thrust him through the door and down the steps. “Don’t give it another thought, Countess,” she
said. “I’m sure you and Lord Avenall have important business together. Our business can certainly wait. Sleep well.”

When Max refused to help her mount her horse, she managed to haul herself into the saddle and ride away. Max caught up before
she reached the corner.

Max preceded Ella into the Pall Mall house. They entered through the old potting shed and used the back stairs, which had
been all but forgotten for years.

“Why did you do it?” Max said, breaking the silence he’d maintained all the way home. “Why did you rush away like that when
Saber was ready to come tonight?”

“Because he didn’t want to come,” she hissed. “Bosh! Of course he did. Sterling chap, Saber. Gad, those scars are impressive.”

“And I suppose his
ladybird
is also impressive?”

Max’s steps faltered. He turned to look down at Ella. “Ladybird? I thought she was some sort of friend.”

Ella rolled her eyes. “Of course she was. Forget I mentioned it. Let’s get to our rooms, and get there quietly and quickly
before the whole house comes down on us.”

“Do you mean you think Countess Perruche is Saber’s—?”

“Go on! Quickly!”

“I say. She certainly is a luscious piece, isn’t she?” Frustration and hurt tore at Ella. “Isn’t she, though.”

“Sort of the way it is, I suppose, isn’t it?” Max’s brows shot up. He turned quite pink. “I mean, isn’t it expected that a
man of his class should—”

“I don’t give a fig what’s expected.” She sniffed—too loudly. “I want to go to bed.”

“Saber will probably get rid of her after—”

“Stop it! If you think it’s all right to share one’s attentions with more than one woman, that’s your affair. I shall never
be happy with such an arrangement.”

“I
don’t
think that,” Max said hotly. “When I marry, it’ll be for love and there’ll be no one but her. And we’ll have children and
they’ll never know want or worry, and…”

Ella regarded him openmouthed. “And?”

“Nothing.”

“You are a dear brother and I adore you,” she told him gently. “Your wife will be very lucky and so will you, because you’ll
choose someone wonderful. Now, hurry up before someone hears us.”

A step behind Max, Ella emerged from the low doorway into an upper hallway. Cobwebs draped her hair and face. Brushing at
the sticky threads, she crept rapidly in Max’s wake toward the stairs leading up to their rooms.

“There you are.”

She jumped and spun to see Great-Grandmama—in a voluminous, ruffled black robe and a nightcap—standing on the threshold of
her boudoir.

“Gad,” Max muttered. “That’s torn it.”

“Come here,” Great-Grandmama said, entirely too pleasantly.

Ella straightened her back, did her best to restore order to her hair, and walked resolutely to meet her fate. “Max need not
be present,” she told Great-Grandmama. “He has no part in this.”

“Dash it all, Ella,” her ungrateful sibling said. “I’m hardly a child, y’know. I did come home to look after you. And this
is all my doing anyway.”

“Brilliant,” Ella muttered under her breath.

The dowager said, “Follow me, both of you. And be quick about it.”

Max and Ella walked with the old lady into her sumptuous gilded boudoir. She shut the door and arranged herself on her chaise.

“Come here,” she said. “Pull up those two little chairs and sit where I can see you plainly.”

Max got the chairs. He and Ella sat on the Aubusson tapestry seats and folded their hands in their laps.

When the old lady’s silent scrutiny had bored past Ella’s restraint, she said, “I’m sorry if we’ve caused you concern.”

“Where have you been?” Great-Grandmama said as if Ella hadn’t spoken.

“There’s no point in pursuing this,” Ella told her. “There’s every point. What do you say, Max?”

“I don’t understand women.”

“Oh,” the dowager said. “Such wisdom from one with exceedingly wide knowledge of the subject must mean that women are indeed
inscrutable. Where have you and Ella been?”