Below Unforgiven (27 page)

“
Kid
. Shut. The. Fuck.
Up
.”

I normally wouldn’t let Frank mouth off to me like that, but given the situation, I did what he suggested.

I shut the fuck up.

The interrogation, if that was even what it was called, was a twenty minute session of Grant speaking calmly and signing papers. I just sat back and watched, and it wasn’t until we were on our way out of the station before he even talked to me.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning, eight AM sharp. Keep the armed protection. Don’t talk to the press. I’ll have a statement ready for your publicist tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Grant.” I answered, returning his eager handshake.

“Absolutely, Mr. Thane.”

Traffic was a nightmare, and by the time I was back in my apartment, I had about ten minutes to decompress before someone was ringing my doorbell.

I checked the peephole, watching as Kelsey tapped her foot between the two muscled body guards, a sneer on her face.

Groaning inwardly, I turned the lock and held the door open. “Kelsey.”

“Oh thank god,” she cried, flinging herself into my chest, and I held my arms out to my sides as she gripped my neck. “I was so worried about you! There are murders, Keaton! Two murders!”

“I know. Off.” I unfurled her hands from my shoulders, and she pouted, releasing her hold.

Stepping back, I gave her a once-over.

Her belly was perfectly flat, and she’d done everything that she could to show it off beneath her cropped tee. The yoga pants clung to her curves, and her blond curls dripped over her shoulders like white-chocolate twists.

“Why are you here?”

“I wanted to check on you.”

“You call the lawyer, he calls me, he calls you. That’s how this whole divorce thing works.”

“You didn’t return my calls or my email.”

“Allow me to repeat. You call the lawyer, he-…,”

“But… about the baby, Keaton.” She gestured to her belly, whining. “I thought, when you found out, you’d have called me.”

I sighed.

She gazed up at me, her big, brown eyes pleading for some kind of acknowledgement. I crossed my arms over my chest, nodding toward her middle. “Is it mine, Kelsey?”

Her pause could only be described as pregnant, and I almost laughed at the pun that Vivian would have enjoyed so much.

Kelsey finally shook her head. “No. I mean, there is no baby. I was wrong. My lawyer told me it’d be better if I didn’t lie to you.”

“No fucking shit.” I rolled my eyes, turning to stalk to the bar. I already knew without looking that she’d plunked her hands on her hips, glaring in my direction.

“I need you, Keaton. Even if we can’t be married, I need you to be part of my life.”

I uncapped the bottle of Maker’s Mark, snatching a glass from the bar shelf with a sardonic laugh. “What in the hell are you talking about? Be a part of your
life?
Go. The. Fuck.
Home
.”

“Derrick doesn’t want what I want,” she whined, and I assumed that her fitness instructor, or dance partner, or whoeverthefuck’s name was Derrick. “You know me better than anyone else.”

“Then maybe you should have, oh, I don’t know,
not
fucked a guy in our bed? Jesus
Christ
, Kelsey, get out of my apartment. See? I’m here. And I’m fine. I haven’t murdered anybody. Yet.”

She snapped her mouth closed, seething. “You were spending your whole day with naked actresses! I was pissed! I was jealous! What makes what I did any different than what you did?”

“I didn’t stick my dick in any of them. And therein lies the difference.”

“God why do you have to be so fucking crude!”

“Get out.”

“Oh, and by the way, you can’t be engaged to Little Miss
Hick
town USA when you’re still fucking married to me!”

I opened the front door, gesturing to the body guards with my glass. “Either march your stupid ass out of here, or be thrown out. Your choice.”

She huffed, stomping through the doorway.

I slammed the door, downing the drink in one gulp before heading for my bed.

Unforgiven

I spent the night awake in the basement trundle bed next to Matthew, breaking into fresh tears every fifteen minutes.

He held me and left me to my own thoughts, not urging me to talk about Keaton, the weekend, or the time that we’d been apart.

Keaton was gone.

He was less than a half a mile away at his mother’s house, but he was gone. Gone from my life, and gone from my future.

Matthew didn’t know what to make of my hysterics, so instead he just kept me wrapped in his arms like he used to. “Vivian. Please try to sleep.”

I nodded, but I knew that it wasn’t going to happen.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the past, about the baby…

And about Keaton.

I couldn’t sleep knowing that I had new, beautiful outfits and jewelry, including Keaton’s diamond, tucked neatly into my suitcase in the corner. The promises I’d made to him, to give us a chance, now sounded like nothing but a bunch of lies.

I couldn’t take off the blue bracelet. Of everything that he’d given me, I loved the little charm the most.

When I’d turned to see Keaton standing on Gram’s porch, staring at me with the most broken hazel eyes I’d ever seen, I wanted to run to him.

But his gaze had quickly turned angry, and then he was gone.

The morning was quiet. Matthew made coffee for us both, talking easily with Gram about some news story that was playing on the TV in the kitchen. I sipped the coffee, knowing that I looked like complete and utter shit, but not caring. When the story about the Round Up Murders (as they’d been so cleverly labeled by the media) came on, Gram reached for the TV remote to turn up the volume.

“
…Round-Up Murders. Director Keaton Thane has been taken in for questioning this morning, but sources say that he had spent the weekend with his family for his brother’s wedding in Pennsylvania. More on this story as it develops.
”

“So frightening. Vivie, did Keaton say anything about the murders? Does he have any idea who’s involved?”

I stiffened at Keaton’s name.

They think he’s involved?
No! I have to call him!

Matthew pushed up from his chair, moving to the coffee pot.

Tugging at my hair, I forced my tone to sound disinterested. “No, he didn’t.”

Gram gave me a nod, her eyes shifting between me and Matthew. “Will you be going home with Matthew, then?” She urged, sipping her coffee.

I swallowed hard, focusing on the sunflower design in the placemat. “I think so, Gram.”

I could feel Matthew’s entire body relax from across the small kitchen. He turned and gave me a reassuring smile, nudging his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

Staring at him, I finally had a chance to fully see him after almost a year. He was thirty now. A little taller than Keaton, his thoughtful brown eyes lit up and displayed his every emotion. He’d lost a little weight, but was more muscular, and I wondered if he was using the gym equipment in his basement.

Our basement.

“Can we take a walk?” He asked, and I nodded, forcing myself to stand and follow him to the porch.

“Bring a sweater, Vivie, it’s chilly this morning,” Gram called.

I nodded, grabbing the sweater she’d knitted for me in the spring. Matthew opened the doors, and when we walked to the end of the driveway, he turned.

“Will you hold my hand?”

I gave him an awkward nod.

Keaton would have just taken my hand.

“Thank you,” he replied, taking my fingers in his. The movie camera charm dangled between us, and if he noticed, he said nothing.

We walked past the old church and the cemetery, continuing toward the main road before I finally turned to him. “Matthew, I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I ran. You were grieving, too, and you needed me too. It wasn’t just about me. I realize that now.”

He gripped my hand. “We both did our best. But what happened to us wasn’t our fault.”

I nodded, stubbornly refusing to start crying again. He saw my struggle, continuing.

“And you were just so young. You still are. It’s not an excuse, but it’s a reason. Being young and scared can sometimes feel like anger.”

I listened to his reassuring tone, brushing at a tear that escaped.

“And anger is part of grieving. But please don’t be angry with me. Even if you don’t want to come home, just don’t be angry with me anymore. I can’t stand it. I love you too much.”

“I’m not,” I cried, turning to him, letting him hold me next to the train tracks. “And I do want to go home. I want you in my life. I never… stopped… loving you.”

I tried the words on, and they didn’t fit.

I could tailor them with time, and routine, and miles between me and Keaton, but I didn’t know if they would ever fit again.

We held each other for a long time, silent. We had no idea where we were going, but we continued walking. When the video store caught my eye, I bit my lip, looking up at Matthew. “I need to say good-bye to Robin. And I would like for you to meet her.”

“Anything,” he agreed, taking my hand again.

We walked to the big Victorian house on the hill, and part of me prayed that Keaton was still there. When I rang the doorbell, Robin answered with a gigantic grin, throwing the screen door open and hugging Matthew. “You exist!” She cried, and Matthew laughed, patting her shoulder.

“Hi, Robin. Nice to finally meet you.”

“Likewise. Okay, Viv, before you quit the store and leave me for this gorgeous hunk of a man, I have two things for you. Hold on,” she turned for the kitchen.

“Where’s your mom?”

“Sleeping. Anyway, here,” she returned with an envelope and a DVD case, handing them over to me. “From my brother.”

I stared at the title, my chin quivering.

“I don’t know what’s up with the movie-he walked down to the video store at, like, one AM just to get it for you. He said that it was some kind of inside joke. I was supposed to give you this movie and this letter. So, done and done. And now, give
me
a huge hug, and promise me you won’t stay away long,” she ordered.

“
Unforgiven
? That’s an old movie. You don’t even like Westerns,” Matthew commented as Robin gripped me tightly.

“Give me a second,” I whispered, carrying the movie case and the letter out to the front yard.

When I opened the envelope, I managed to read every word before crumbling.

Dearest V,

I can’t decide which part of our weekend was my favorite. After much thought, it’s definitely a tie between our kiss outside the mall, and the night I went down on you in the hotel.

I covered my mouth with my hand, tears burning my already swollen eyes.

Either way, well done. Your acting skills are slightly better than subpar, and I’m sure you’ll make a fantastic B actress someday. If you’re ever interested in taking your clothes off for me again, you have my number.

Good luck in Ohio.

-Keaton

Inside the letter was a check from Keaton.

$2085.46.

“Vivian?” Robin ran across the yard as I dropped to my knees, her brows furrowed. She grabbed the letter from my hand and scanned it, and her jaw tightened. “That
fucking
asshole. I’m gonna
kill
him.”

“What’s wrong?” Matthew reached for me, turning toward the letter, but Robin flung it behind her back, forcing a smile.

“Nothing. My brother is just a jerk. But Vivian knew that
before
she agreed to spend the weekend with him,” Robin added with a pointed look my way.

“What did he write to her? Give me the letter, Robin,” Matthew ordered. I’d never heard him speak so forcefully, and Robin shook her head.

“No, no, it’s better if you just take her home and-…,”

“Give me the fucking letter. Now.”

My jaw fell open, and Robin arched one studded eyebrow.

I’d seen the way she dealt with rude customers in the video store, so I couldn’t even begin to imagine the hell that she was about to unleash on the man before her.

My throat constricted as she finally shrugged, handing him the piece of paper. “Well, I warned you.”

“Matthew-…,”

“…kiss outside the mall… hotel… what the
fuck?
” He lifted his dark eyes to me, and I climbed to my feet, digging my fingernails into the palms of my hands as I balled my fists.

“I…,”

“You
what?
Did you sleep with him?”

I let my mouth close, and that was all the answer that he needed.

“Were you planning on
telling
me?”

“Yes!
Yes
I was going to tell you, after we had time to talk, which we really haven’t, it’s only been a few hours since-…,”

“You cried all night, Vivian! All night. For
him?
For this kind of man? This is what you
want?
”

He wrenched the letter through the air between us, and I jolted, shaking my head.

“No! No that’s not what I want, I-…,”

“Sounds like she’s not sure what she wants,” Robin put in, and both Matthew and my heads swung in her direction.

“That’s not
true!
” I shouted.

“Bye, Viv.” She turned toward the house, and I ground my teeth together.

“
Fuck
you Robin!”

“Eh, you’ll thank me later,” she called, getting into her car and slamming the door.

Matthew turned to me angrily. “Okay. Okay, I’m done. This ends here and now. Look at me,” he demanded, and I stood my ground, lifting my face bravely to his. “Tell me what this
fucking
check is for. Because I swear to God, if you slept with him for money, we’re
over
. Then you are
not
the person I fell in love with.”

I rolled my shoulders back, brushed at my tears one more time, and cleared my throat.

Lie.

Lie, lie,
lie.

“I needed a dress and nice clothes for the weekend. Jewelry. A hotel room. He paid me back for them. When I slept with him, I was very drunk, and I don’t even remember it. He was, too. I wish it had never happened. I wish this whole weekend had never happened. I wish I’d never met Keaton Thorne. Ever.”