Bender (22 page)

My pulse picked up at his touch, while confusion settled on my features. “What’s going to stop?”

His eyes became hard, and my tough exterior Camden was back. “I’m going to find every single one of the assholes that had the balls to do this to you, and they are going to wish they’d never joined a fraternity. They’ll be lucky if they are still walking when I’m done with them.”

My eyes widened. “Camden, you can’t go beating up everybody who hurts my feelings.”

“The fuck I can’t. This shit has been going on for years. Maybe someone needs to put the fear of God in them… or rearrange their pretty little faces.” The smile that spread across his lips was scary. “They messed with the wrong girl.”

“I wish you wouldn’t. Fighting doesn’t solve anything.”

“That’s cute, Keegan. You sound like a fucking school counselor.” He smirked. “Luke knows what’s coming for him. I bet he’s shaking in his prissy little boots, and I plan on delivering.”

“Seriously Camden. No. Just leave it alone. I want to forget this night ever happened. Okay? Let. It. Go.”

“Not gonna happen, Blue.”

I laid my head back down on him and shook my head in frustration. Yet another battle I didn’t feel like fighting with him. He chuckled at my resignation. I hated that he felt the need to fight for me. I wasn’t an advocate for using fists. He was right though, Luke better be shaking in his boots. Not only was Camden very capable of taking him on, I was pretty sure
I
was going to flip my shit if I saw him again. Sighing deep into Camden I buried myself into his side and inhaled his scent again. His need to stand up for me was sweet, but misguided. He’d eventually figure out that there wasn’t much to me but a plain girl who could offer a nice friendship. It pained my heart that I thought so little of myself, but it was what I felt was true. I wanted Camden. I wanted him more than my next breath, but at what expense? Sadness seeped back into me as my eyelids grew so heavy I could no longer keep them open. While I drifted off to sleep, I had the scary thought that I was becoming attached to this man. With all of the passionate fighting and sometimes gentler moments, he had become a source of comfort. The apartment didn’t just feel like home to me, Camden did.

Opening my eyes, I saw that it was still dark outside. Looking at the clock on the bedside table, it was two in the morning. I closed my eyes and stretched my still muscles. The feel of the bed was foreign. Where was I? It dawned on me that I wasn’t in my room. Grabbing the sheet I pulled it up to my chin. The scent of Camden washing over me, I moaned in contentment. I was in his bed, and I’d fallen asleep on him. Except, I glanced around and he wasn’t in the room. Where did he go? Maybe he moved to sleep in my room to give me space. I wouldn’t blame him. First I flung myself at him and bawled my eyes out, then he felt obligated to take care of me. I was the quintessential needy girl. I bet this was why Luke chose me. The events that happened only a few hours ago plowed into me like a Mack truck. The game, their words, Veronica, Luke… it was real. He must have sensed my loneliness and zeroed in on me. It was like I was a standing target who was flashing a bright red sign screaming ‘pick me, I’ll be your next victim.’ Tears welled in my eyes, and the sorrow I felt came down around me like a heavy weight. Why me? What did I do in this life to deserve this? I was a decent daughter growing up, and I took care of my little sister like she was my own. I showed up at my job on time and did what was required of me. And academically I was an overachiever. It was like the world was playing a cruel joke on me. Was I so desperate for attention that I missed any warning signs from Luke? At any point did he do anything to indicate that it was all pretend? I wracked my brain to the point of pain. A deep ache was settling in just over my eyes and made me feel queasy. I gave myself to him in every way that I could. I felt so stupid.

So where did Camden fit in to all of this? I was definitely frustrated with him for not telling me about the frat’s history. If he’d known about it, he should have said something, not just warn me away from Luke. I’d thought his only reason for doing that was because he was jealous. What a ridiculous thought. Camden couldn’t be jealous… could he? I knew we had
something
going on between us, but was it what I thought it was? Clearly my track record with figuring out men wasn’t very on point. But Camden had kissed me, he had pushed me to the brink of orgasm, and touched me like he wanted me just as bad. I couldn’t be that far off base.

Sliding out of bed, I picked up my clothes and padded to the door. It wasn’t closed all the way, and I noticed that the shower water was running. Why on earth was he showering at two in the morning?
Well I take that back
. He had just gotten back from the gym when I went running into him, so he probably didn’t have a chance to get cleaned up before he was picking me up off the floor. I walked out into the hallway and tossed the nurse costume that I hated so much through my open bedroom door. I made a mental note to throw that sucker away the first chance I had. Turning and looking at the bathroom door I took a few steps toward it, noticing that the door was cracked open. The shower that we shared wasn’t one that had a curtain hanging on a rod. This one had a glass door. Peeking in, the whole bathroom was fogged up. The glass that he stood behind was steamed over, but I was able to make out his figure on the other side. Swallowing hard, I felt like my heart was in my throat. What was I doing? Since when had I become a Peeping Tom? I knew I should go back into my room like I’d planned, but something was holding me here. I watched as his muscled arms came up and brushed several times through his hair, the white foam from the shampoo cascading down his body. I was riveted. Lust and desire were burning hot through my veins. I was drawn to him. An ache deep down was pushing me forward. Placing my hand on the door, I inched it open and took a step inside. My thoughts were going nuts, screaming at me to get the hell out of there, and pretend like I didn’t just walk in there like a little pervert. But I couldn’t. I needed something, and it was propelling me to keep moving. I watched in fascination as if every move of his body was the most incredible thing I’d seen. Seeing his hands move over his chest and down to his abdomen… lathering areas I wished I could run my tongue over. Just as the thought passed through my head, his eyes snapped up like he had sensed me. I braced myself, thinking he was going to yell at me or kick me out. Instead he tilted his head to the side. His large hand came up and wiped the glass so he could see me better. Connecting with his brown eyes, I was hit with the innermost need for him to touch me…to hold me. Whether he understood what I couldn’t say out loud or not, he opened the glass door, never breaking eye contact.

Then he stood in front of me, completely nude and looking like an Adonis. You never really know just how sexy a man can look until you’ve gotten them completely wet and dripping with water. Nothing on earth like it! At least not in Camden’s case. My heart’s rhythm stuttered, trying to find its new beat. Oh God, what was I doing? I felt the pooling of tears in my eyes, and Camden took notice of my sudden change.

Holding out his hand to me he said, “Come here.” It came out deep and raspy.

I stepped forward and placed my hand in his. Giving me a light tug, he moved me till I was standing in the shower facing him. The air was thick and humid making it hard to take a full breath. Or maybe I was just choking on my own words. He was blocking most of the water from spraying me, but little droplets were landing on my skin. I was only wearing his t-shirt and a pair of underwear, but the vapor in the air kept me warm. Or maybe being in his presence was overheating me. I had yet to let my eyes roam over the rest of his body that was on display. I’d already come barging in here, like some deviant teenage girl trying to see the goods. I didn’t think I should take advantage of the situation. As I stood in front of him I couldn’t gather the courage to look up at him. I didn’t know what this was, what I was feeling, how I
should
be feeling. Embarrassment was overshadowing all other emotions that had previously been coursing through me. Sucking in as much air as I could I was about to tell him ‘sorry’ and leave when he put his fingers under my chin and forced my eyes up to meet his.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”

His words pierced my heart. My lip quivered. “Anything…everything.”

“Want to talk about it?” There he goes again with his sweet caring words. I didn’t know how to deal with this side of Camden. When he fought with me, warred with me, irritated me, I could handle him. I simply fought back. This was foreign.

All at once my emotions bubbled to the surface and came crashing out. Tears were pouring out of my eyes as my shoulders shook with heavy sobs. I covered my face with my hands and tried to turn away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I hiccupped.

“Hey, hey, what’s this?” he asked, his arms coming around me, holding me to his chest.

Confusion and hurt wracked my body like a tidal wave. It came slamming into me when I wasn’t prepared. Nothing felt right, and yet in his arms
everything
felt right. It was like my jumbled up mind was a contradiction in terms. How did I explain to him that I was sickened by what was done to me tonight? How did I express that I felt so degraded and used that I didn’t want to step foot outside of the house again? I was so ashamed for falling into that trap. That I slept with a guy who did nothing but use me. How did I tell him that I felt like maybe I deserved it? That maybe it was my penance. I shook even harder, and his arms squeezed me tighter. How did I tell Camden that I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life? That when he fought with me, he didn’t just make me angry, he made me delirious with need. Even now, I craved to feel his skin on my skin. To know what it was like to have the slickness of the water glide my aching nipples across his chest. I wanted to feel his fingers brushing along my clit and bring me to the brink of orgasm. My tormented body couldn’t decide what it wanted to do, so I cried some more.

I had no clue how long I stood there in his arms and wept, but as my tears slowed I was able to take deeper breaths. I became acutely aware of Camden’s hold on me. I was pressed tightly to his warmth, and I couldn’t help but noticed the very obvious erection that was digging into my stomach. I wiggled a bit to readjust my footing. He hissed at the sensation. My eyes shot up to his, and he knew that I knew. I watched as his look changed from gentle and caring to dark and toxic in a matter of seconds. The brown of his eyes were completely swallowed by his black pupils. His Adam’s apple bobbed. Ghosting his hands down my arms, his fingertips drifted across the hem of his shirt, brushing the tops of my thighs. I sucked in a breath. His eyes narrowed at me, and I knew in that moment that I wouldn’t be able to stop this. I didn’t want to. He lifted the shirt a few inches, gauging my reaction. He waited for me to tell him that this was okay, that this was what I wanted. I gave a slight nod, giving him permission to continue. As he raised up the fabric, I had a fleeting thought that I wasn’t wearing a bra. Camden was about to see a whole lot of me. I should have been worried about whether I had on my pretty lace panties, but I was more concerned with my body. I remembered the last few girls he’d brought home and how they looked. I still wasn’t at my goal weight, and I hated that I was scared that he might think I was too big or unattractive. He sensed my apprehension when he got the shirt as high as my belly button. Leaning forward he placed his forehead on mine.

“Clear your head Keegan. You’re going to be perfect.”

“I don’t look like the other girls, Camden.”

“I know. That’s what makes you perfect.”

And just like that, he melted me. I raised my arms up over my head. Like moving in slow motion, the fabric came up over my stomach, breasts, head, and then my arms. Each one tingling as the damp air hit them. When he dropped the shirt on the floor I let my arms come back down to my sides. I watched as his russet eyes traveled from my face to my breasts. Every single one of my nerve endings were alight with fire. My nipples pebbled under his watchful gaze. I had the urge to reach up and cover myself, but I refrained.

“Take off your underwear.” He spoke so deeply it was like a low rumble in his chest.

My face reddened, and I was feeling shy. “You…you wa-want everything off?” I stuttered.

“I want to see all of you. I want nothing in my way when I touch you. Underwear Keegan, now,” he demanded.

My hands trembled with a nervousness I’d never known before, but I complied. Hooking my fingers in my black silk panties, I slid them down my thighs and let them pool at my feet. I lifted one foot at a time and stepped out of them. I was completely bared to Camden, and he was to me. He reached up and touched my no longer covered hip with the subtlest of brushes. While he looked over my very naked body, I finally gave myself permission to see all that was Camden. My mouth parted at the view. He was quite a bit more endowed than I originally assumed. It was multiple inches of velvety skin with a smooth crown that stood at attention. I’d felt his cock against me before, but I couldn’t tell just how big he really was.