Bending Under Pressure (33 page)

Keelan leans over, his lips brushing my ear as he whispers, “Doing okay?” I nod and he chuckles. “You’re a terrible liar, Hales.” He releases my hand to wrap an arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. I’m grateful to have him here with me as a source of comfort, even if my grandparents eye him like he’s poison or something. “Want me to distract you?”

“How are you going to do that?” My gaze falls to his lips.

He grins. “Keep your mind out of the gutter. So, when I met Natalie for lunch last week, she was being Natalie and tried to convince me I should see my birth father.” Keelan has been actively avoiding talking about it. So much so that his mom even called my house and asked if he’d discussed it with me. I didn’t tell him she called, but it made me worry about him more. He continues to tell me what happened, keeping his voice low. “I’ll probably tell my parents tomorrow because I haven’t yet, but I feel a lot better about it.”

I don’t get to respond in any way before the groomsmen are taking their place as well as my father and the pastor. Dad smiles at me, but that’s it. Granted, he can’t do much right now either. In no time at all, the bridal party is coming up the aisle. I squeeze Keelan’s hand when I see Carly. I have to admit that she looks cute in her dress and I begin to wonder what she’s like. We stand once the music starts for the bride and Keelan takes my hand again.

This is the first time I’m getting a good look at Tonya. She’s beautiful in her dress, unfortunately. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve come to be happy that my parents aren’t together because Walter is good for Mom and they really love each other. However, this woman still played apart in ripping us a part. How could she do that to someone else’s family, especially when she has one of her own? Does Carly know how her mom and my dad got together?

Will my dad cheat on Tonya like he cheated on my mom?

Should I be thinking about this during their wedding?

Probably not.

My mind shuts down in a numb sort of way as I watch my father marry this woman. How can he do this? How can these vows mean something if he broke them once already while he was married to my mom? How can he be a good stepdad to Carly if he’s a terrible dad to me? This is wrong on so many levels. I shouldn’t even be here. I don’t support it and I hate my dad for what he did. I don’t even think he’s truly apologized for his actions.

Even if he did, how can that mean anything when he still forgets about me?

The church erupting into clapping and cheers snaps me out of my daze in time to see him kiss his new bride. I wish my mom were here. I wish someone could tell me what to feel or help me sort out how I feel instead of feeling a little bit of everything. After the wedding party left, someone stands at the front of the room and gives instructions on how to get to the dining hall where the reception will be held.

“Let’s sit here for a minute,” I tell Keelan, while everyone seems to converge in the same direction all at once, including my grandparents.

“How are you doing?”

“Wishing I hadn’t come,” I confess.

“Do you want to skip the reception?” His eyes light up with heat and desire. “I’m sure we can find a way to fill in the time before we’re expected back home.”

“What happened to making sure we don’t do anything to risk getting grounded again?”

“Right. You make me want to take the risk.” He sobers and rubs his thumb over my knuckles. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shake my head. “Do you?”

“I already did.”

I roll my eyes because he did not talk about it. He simply explained what happened and briefly commented on his feelings. The crowd has thinned, so I stand, pulling him with me. “Let’s go to a reception.”

My grandparents seem to have left already because I don’t see them anywhere. We find an unoccupied table and take a seat. A couple approaches the table with nice smiles.

“Mind if we sit here?” the man asks.

“No,” I answer with a shake of my head.

They sit down, and the woman turns to me with a smile. “So, who do you know? The bride or the groom? I think I would know everyone on the bride’s side, but I keep being surprised.”

“Oh, the groom. I’m his daughter, Haley, and this is my boyfriend, Keelan.” Both of their jaws drop in surprise. “What about you?”

“The bride is my sister. I, um, didn’t realize Tonya would be getting a stepdaughter. Carly must be excited though. You don’t live with your dad then, right? Otherwise, I’m sure we would’ve met by now.”

Pain explodes in my chest. They didn’t know I existed. How could they not know? Dad didn’t talk about me at all with his new relatives? Before I can think better of it, I curtly respond, “No, I don’t live with him. When he cheated on my mom with Tonya, I decided to live with Mom instead.”

That shuts them up, but by the surprise in their eyes, they must not have known about how the couple came to be. A waiter, who I assume is with the catering company they hired, comes to pour water in our glasses and ask them if they want something alcoholic to drink. Thanks to having family of the bride at our table, two more relatives sit down. It’s obvious by their surprise as well that they didn’t know my dad had a daughter.

I fold my arms over my chest, pissed off and wishing I could pout like a kid. What’s the point in me coming when no one aside from my dad knew who I was? Keelan rests an arm on the back of my chair, his thumb rubbing back and forth over the lace on my shoulder. I shoot him a grateful smile. He looks down at his pocket and pulls out my phone, handing it to me.

Mom has texted me. A few times, it seems.

Mom: Did you get there okay?

Mom: Please let me know you arrived.

Mom: You’re starting to worry me.

I quickly reply to her.

Me: Sorry, I didn’t see the text before the wedding. At the reception now. Her family didn’t even know I existed! I don’t know how long we’ll stay, but I want to stay long enough to see Dad. I can’t believe him.

A minute later, she responds.

Mom: What do you mean they didn’t know you existed? Let me know when y’all leave.

“I’m going to step outside and call my mom real quick, okay?” I say to Keelan.

“Do you want me to come with you? Do you want my jacket?”

“No, stay here with our seats. And yes, please.” He takes it off with ease and holds it so I can slip my arms into the sleeves. It’s too big, but warm from his body. “Thanks.” I lean over to kiss his cheek before making a beeline to a set of white doors that lead to the parking lot. I stop short as soon as I step outside. Across the lot, I can see the entrance to the church. Standing out front is the wedding party, waiting for their grand entrance, I guess. I would’ve thought they would wait in the lobby instead or somewhere else inside where it’s warm.

What makes me freeze though is seeing my dad. Tonya is to his right and Carly on this left. He’s smiling so big; I can easily tell from over here that he’s happy. He glances down at Carly as she says something. He laughs loud enough for it to ring out across the distance. My grandparents are out there with him. Shouldn’t I be there too? I’m still his family. Why didn’t my grandparents tell me? Something cold trickles down my cheek and I wipe at it.

Stupid tear.

I’ve done everything but run into Tonya and Carly’s arms. Why isn’t that enough? Swallowing hard, I turn to find Keelan. I can’t call Mom like this. She’d hear how upset I am and I don’t want to deal with it yet. I return my phone to his pocket and drape his jacket behind my chair since he’s rolled up his sleeves to his elbows.

“Are you sure you want to stay?” he asks, concern pulling his brows together.

“Yeah, I want to see my dad first.”

He nods and leaves it alone. A few minutes later, the wedding party is introduced. People clap and cheer, but I can’t bring myself to do it. This isn’t a happy day for me. As far as I’m concerned, this is the day I officially lose my dad. I hate how he even tried when all he was going to do was go back to the way things have been since the divorce. He got my hopes up for no good reason. It would have been easier to deal with the pain and then move on instead of him making promises he had no intention of keeping. Continuing to get my hopes up and then letting me down was just cruel and I don’t know if I can forgive that.

The meal is served. Chatter is happening all throughout the room with the exception of Keelan and me. I poke at my food until they take it away. I focus on Keelan’s fingers trailing over my shoulder instead of the cake cutting and all the other stupid wedding traditions. Biting the inside of my cheek doesn’t do enough to distract me from seeing my dad dance with Carly when Tonya dances with her father. It’s stupid to keep thinking he’ll come find me eventually. He probably won’t. He probably doesn’t care.

I shouldn’t either.

The area deemed as the dance floor soon fills up as the music alternates from high tempo music to slow songs. Two hours into the reception, two hours of seeing my father go around and talk to people, and I’ve yet to have a conversation with him. But then, as he’s inching his way closer to this side of the room, I decide I don’t want to talk to him. I don’t want to face him and pretend he hasn’t hurt me or explode in fury and cause a scene. I turn in my seat toward Keelan.

The tune is soft and slow right now. It’s the perfect song for me to use being in Keelan’s arms as a distraction. Anything to stop thinking about my dad.

“Will you dance with me?” I ask quietly.

His eyes widen, his brows shooting upward. “Dance? Like dance dance? I don’t dance, Hales,” he finishes in apology.

“It’s easy. You sway in place, that’s it.” He seems skeptical that it’s so easy, and I want to laugh. “You get to hold me close,” I add, hoping that will be enough incentive.

“I don’t know,” he hedges, but that’s better than a no.

“Please? I can’t sit here anymore.”

Keelan takes a steady breath before nodding. “Okay, but just one.”

He stands and holds his hand out. I take it. He leads me to the edge where there are fewer people. As if we will need plenty of room. Keelan swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbling in his throat. He stands in front of me, unmoving. I giggle at his unease and seemingly dumbfounded expression. My arms lift to wrap around his neck. His arms automatically snake around me to hold me closer. I begin to sway as I rest my cheek on my arm to press my face into his neck.

“Thank you for coming with me,” I whisper.

“It doesn’t seem as if I can say no to you.”

I smile and quickly press a kiss to his neck. “You’re a good dancer.”

Keelan laughs, his torso rumbling against me. “Yeah, if you say so.”

“You haven’t stepped on my feet yet, so you must be good.”

“We haven’t moved,” he points out with a chuckle.

“I’m still counting it.” I nuzzle my face closer to his neck and inhale slowly. He always smells so good. “I wish I could sneak over and stay with you tonight,” I tell him. Being in his arms all night sounds like the perfect way to end this stupid night.

His hands glide up and down my back to draw a shiver out of me. “Me too.”

“Probably not a good thing though, considering last time.” My mind is on the heated landing on second base more so than the fact that we got caught. Kissing is all I want to do for a while.

“Yeah, probably.”

The song ends and another slow song starts. I smile when Keelan keeps us swaying. He does lead us back to our seats at the end of it though. Dad and his bride are talking and laughing at something her sister must’ve said. Before I can take a seat, Dad sees me and breaks away from her to come over to me.

“I’m glad you came, Haley,” he says as he gives me a hug.

“Me too. It was nice to learn that her family didn’t even know you had a daughter.”

Dad tenses and I almost wish I kept my mouth shut.
Almost
. He pulls away to warily look at me. “Haley,” he begins, but I cut him off.

“I’m really tired of hearing your excuses, so please don’t give me another one. Do you even realize you forgot to have dinner with me a month ago? You didn’t show, didn’t call or text, or anything. You didn’t mention it when you finally did call me days later either.”

His voice is low as he warns me, “Don’t start a scene. We can talk later.”

“When?” My tone is more hysterically incredulous than I would’ve liked. “You don’t call, you don’t text, and I can’t ever get you to answer your damn phone!”

People have started to turn their heads toward us and I feel Keelan place a hand on my back from behind me.

“You’re angry with me, I get it.”

“Do you?” I interrupt again. “Because you don’t seem to care, Dad.”

His jaw clenches and I know he’s had enough. It was always a sign of that I’ve pushed him too far on the rare occasions that I’ve done so. “If you can’t behave and act properly, then you need to leave.”

I gasp as if he slapped me. I stare at his hard eyes, barely recognizing him anymore. “Fine.” I grab Keelan’s jacket from the back of the chair and look at Tonya. “Hopefully, he won’t cheat on you like he cheated with you while he was married to my mother. But if he does, you deserve it.”

“Haley!” Dad snaps, but I’ve already started walking away.

Tears silently fall down my face as we get into the car. I’m grateful Keelan doesn’t try to talk to me yet. Dad asked me to leave. Yeah, I know I didn’t have to bring everything up at his wedding, but it’s not like I’d get another opportunity to talk to him about it. Everything I said was true! I lean my head against the window and close my eyes.

My mind keeps replaying the entire stupid wedding in my head the whole way home. Keelan sits idling in the driveway for a minute before I pull on the handle.

“I’m sorry, Hales.”

“Me too. I’ll text you later.” I kiss him on the cheek and then get out.

I’m dreading going inside. I’ve had too much time to think as it is and going inside won’t help stop the thoughts. Before I can change my mind, I quietly sneak into the house, grab my keys, and sneak back out without taking the time to change. Mom and Walter were resting in their bedroom when I left and they’re still in there. I forgot to text her that I was on the way home, so she probably isn’t expecting me soon.