Beneath (20 page)

“We’ll freeze if we stand here moping,” said Freya, suddenly taking charge. “Come on. I wonder how much trouble we’re in? I wonder how long we’ve been gone? Let me do the talking, you two. I’ll say I made you go with me. It’s true, anyway.”

She kept up a stream of chatter all the way to the edge of the farmyard, covering the painful silence that hung over Jess and Magnus.

The smokehouse door opened and out came Ashe, chewing. He looked guilty for a second when he saw them, before he realised that, for once, he wasn’t going to be the one in trouble.

“Where have you been? You’ve missed breakfast
and
lunch. Father’s furious. Why are you wet?”

“We’ll tell you all about it in a while,” said Freya, and they walked on towards the house.

The year turned. The winter had been a hard one, but at last the final fall of snow melted, and the rivers were free of ice again. Each day grew a little longer, a little lighter. Spring was coming.

In Dundee, the Night of the Black Wolves was still the focus of rumour and tall tales. The reality had been bad enough; nine people killed, along with countless dogs and cats, horses, pigs and chickens. Some folk said there had been hundreds of wolves, but those who had stayed safe behind their closed shutters knew that must be an exaggeration, for where had they all gone so suddenly, if they’d ever been there?

And what about the boys who had raised the alarm? They’d disappeared in the middle of the night too, with the watchmen’s horses, and no one could trace them. Some folk said they were spirits, though the watchmen said they were real enough.

Magnus listened to his parents’ account of that night and said nothing. He hardly believed what had happened himself; why should anyone else?

At Westgarth, farm life continued its steady round, and Jess took up her part in the pattern again.

For weeks after they had come back from the Nykur world, she had gone to Roseroot Pool whenever she could, but there was never any sign of Finn. Twice she had walked into the water, trying to reach the Nykur world on her own, but that ability had gone.

An awkward constraint had fallen between Jess and Magnus when they returned, and for a while he’d avoided the farm altogether, working in Kirriemuir for Arnor, but the rest of the family had made it impossible for him to stay away for long. Slowly, step by delicate step, he and Jess recovered themselves
and began to relax in each other’s company again, and Magnus started to hope that everything might be all right.

Now he walked Jess to the farm cart from Arnor’s shop, arms full of supplies.

“I’ll see you later,” he said. He was coming to Westgarth for the weekend, ostensibly to help Ian repair fences.

She gave him a slightly awkward kiss. “Don’t be late. Ellen’s making a huge fruit cake for you.”

When she got back to Westgarth, she could smell the cake baking. The bowl was still waiting to be washed, and she wiped a finger round it and licked off the sticky mixture with relish.

“You’re as bad as Ashe,” said Ellen, helping her put the supplies away. “If he’d had his way there would have been nothing left to cook.”

“I told Magnus you were baking. He said he’ll be sure to work up an appetite.”

“I’d have made two if I’d known that.” Ellen stopped what she was doing. “I’m glad he’s come back to us. I missed him.”

“So did I,” said Jess after a moment. “It took me a while to realise how much.”

“So the two of you are all right?”

“Getting there.”

Ellen left things at that, to Jess’s relief.

After lunch, Jess went across to the dairy to churn butter.

There was a tiny roll of paper lying by the churn. Jess wiped her hands on her apron and unrolled it.

I’ll wait by the pool.

Please come.

That was all. She turned the paper over and over, sure there must be more, but that was all.

How long had it been there? She could swear it hadn’t been by the churn yesterday, but it was so small she could have
missed it.

She abandoned the butter, pulled her jacket on and left.

Jess had tried to convince herself to accept that she wouldn’t see Finn again. Now it was almost three weeks since she’d been to the pool. She’d been trying to break the habit and had been succeeding at last.

She walked quickly, resisting the temptation to run. How long had the note been waiting? How long would Finn wait?

At last, she was there. The pool lay unconcerned in front of her, the marsh marigolds just coming into bloom, glowingly golden.

“Finn?” she called.

“I didn’t know if you would come,” he said, stepping out from the trees.

Her heart gave a great thud.

They looked at one another, temporarily robbed of speech. Finally, Jess said, “You look well.”

It was true. All the marks of his illness had gone now, but more than that, he looked at peace with himself.

“You too.”

She took refuge in flippancy.

“I’d have put on something cleaner and brushed my hair if it had been a more formal invitation…”

He waited for her voice to skitter into silence.

“Have you made peace with your father?”

“More or less,” she said with a rueful smile. “Some things he’ll never be able to understand, but he’s doing his best to convince himself they never happened.” She moved towards him a little. “You and your family are…?”

“We’re fine. After what happened by the loch – it made us all realise how important we are to each other.”

“That’s good. And the wolves are gone?”

He nodded and took a couple of steps towards her. “Those ones at least. Even if the illusion was to break now, they’re long dead.”

They were so close now that they were almost touching.

“Do you think any of your family would come through this door? My grandmother would love to see Euan again. And now that everything’s fine…”

Finn’s face clouded.

“Everything isn’t fine.” He looked away for a second, then turned back to face her.

“That’s why I had to see you.”

“What? What’s wrong?” She caught hold of his hand.

“You saw how few of us there were. We’ve been pretending to ourselves for far too long that we can survive here. We can’t go on like this. We can’t stay here any longer. We’ve all decided to leave. We’re going north: there are more Nykur there. If we stay here, we’re doomed. We have to leave to have a chance.”

She stared at him, took a difficult breath.

“But you’ll come back sometimes, won’t you?”

Finn sat down, pulling Jess down beside him. He looked at the pool for a few seconds, then turned back to her. “This gateway will have to be sealed when we leave, or the wolves that are left in the Nykur world might find a way through eventually. It can’t be opened once it’s been sealed.”

“But that would mean I wouldn’t see you again,” she said slowly.

Surely that wasn’t really what he meant? She waited for him to tell her she’d misunderstood.

“That’s right.” His voice was barely more than a whisper. “Once I leave I can’t come back. So I’m asking you to come with me. To be with me. For good.” He stroked her cheek. “You know I love you. I’ve loved you for years. I know you love me. Come with me.”

For a long time, Jess was silent. She looked into his blue eyes.

“You could stay here,” she said hesitantly.

He shook his head. “I can’t, Jess. It nearly destroyed me to be separated from my family before. I can’t do it. I can’t
abandon the part of me that is Nykur. If you come into my world, you’ll forget this one. You won’t miss it.”

“I can’t do that,” Jess said in a small voice. “I don’t want to forget them. I can’t leave my whole life behind. I’m sorry. I love you, Finn. You know I do. But I can’t leave behind all the other people I love.”

They had moved into each other’s arms. They stayed like that for a long time, not speaking, until at last Finn said,

“I should go now.”

Jess tried to wipe away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling as they got to their feet.

“Say goodbye to Ashe for me, and to Ellen,” Finn said. “I know she never liked me, but she was very kind. And tell Magnus – no, probably best to tell him nothing. He’s a good man, Jess. The two of you make a good team.”

She swallowed hard, sniffed, and looked Finn in the eye.

“I know. And I do love him.”

“And so you should.”

They stepped away from each other a little.

“Goodbye then,” he said.

“Goodbye.”

And because neither of them could bear any more, he turned and walked into the water, looked back at her once, and was gone.

Jess stood there until the final ripples had died and she could see her reflection lying still again in the water. She wiped the last tears from her face and turned away.

For a long time she stood there, blind to her surroundings, following her thoughts as they spiralled away from this moment along the different paths the future could take.

Finally, she started to walk.

Magnus saw Jess coming and went across the yard to meet her.

“You’re early,” she said.

“Freya threw me out.”

He could see the marks of tears on her face.

“You shouldn’t let her boss you around, you know.”

They walked together towards the bright warmth of the kitchen door.

“Where have you been?” He was almost afraid to ask.

“Just for a walk.” She pulled him to a halt. “Before we go in, I’ve got something to say to you.”

Magnus took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself.

“What?”

“I love you. I don’t think I’ve ever told you that properly before.”

“No, you haven’t… not like that.”

Jess put her arms round his neck and gave him a kiss that wasn’t awkward at all.

“I went for a walk to Roseroot Pool, and now I’m back. For always.”

Gill Arbuthnott was born and brought up in Edinburgh but escaped briefly to study in St Andrews and Southampton. She couldn’t stay away, however, and now lives in Edinburgh with her family and Leonard the cat. When she’s not writing, she works as a biology teacher. She has written several novels for children and young adults:
Chaos Clock, Chaos Quest, Winterbringers, Dark Spell
and
The Keeper’s Daughter,
as well as non-fiction books that make science fun.

Visit Gill’s website at
gillarbuthnott.com