Bennett (On the Line Book 2) (18 page)

Bennett

A
blanket of snow covered the lawn of my childhood home in Orland Park. I parked in front of the huge brick three-story and surveyed the cars in the driveway.

Everyone was here already. My brother, both sisters, my parents, my paternal grandparents, and numerous aunts, uncles, and cousins were all inside celebrating. We always spent the day snacking, playing games, catching up, and eating an enormous meal cooked by my mom in the evening.

I just sat in my car for a couple minutes, trying to find the will to go inside. I loved my family and I enjoyed spending time with them. Just not on Christmas. This day had taken on new meaning for me five years ago.

“Kelly’s . . . gone, Bennett,” her mom Linda said when I rushed into the hospital. “It was too late. The pills she took . . . she went quickly and peacefully, the doctors said.”

Her voice shook as she spoke, a used tissue clutched tightly in one hand. I took a step back, dizzy as her words sank in.

“No,” I said softly. “I just saw her last night. You were there. She was fine last night.”

Linda wiped the corners of her red-rimmed eyes. “I think she wanted us to believe she was. One last Christmas Eve together.”

She started crying hard then, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed. I lost it, crying with her as I put my arms around her in a hug.

“How did this happen?” I said. “She was doing better. The counseling was helping.”

“I don’t know. I don’t think any of us really knew how much pain she was in. She couldn’t get past what happened to that little girl.”

I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead on the steering wheel. I wished Charlotte were here with me. I wanted to tell her why this day was hard and have her beside me as I tried not to let it show. With a heavy sigh, I lifted my head up and got out of the car.

My family mobbed me when I walked in. I got hugs, handshakes, and laughing kids wrapped around my legs.

“Where’s Charlotte?” my sister Grace asked, looking disappointed.

“Her mom’s visiting, so she stayed there.”

“She could have come, too,” my mom said, her expression about the same as Grace’s.

“You’ll meet her soon,” I promised.

“You excited about fatherhood?” my uncle Cory asked.

“Yeah, I am. We both are.”

I went into the living room and sat down, knowing I was in for a grilling. My family would want all the details about Charlotte and her pregnancy. But I loved that my family didn’t care whether we were married or that we’d gotten pregnant by accident. Charlotte and our child would be welcomed with open arms.

We exchanged gifts, with everyone getting gift cards from me. I kept my phone close by, waiting for a text from Charlotte. I was having a messenger service deliver her present today because I wanted her to get it on Christmas.

“How are you, Bennett?” my mom asked, sitting down next to me in a rare quiet moment.

“I’m good.”

“I know this is a hard day for you.”

I shrugged. “Yeah. I’m trying to move past it.”

“And?”

“And it’s not as easy as I wish it was.”

“You still miss her.”

I shrugged again. “Mostly, I still feel guilty I didn’t see that she was suffering.”

“But you know the reality, honey. She may not have been suffering until right before she did it. Those urges can strike without much warning.”

“I know. I just worry that I’m not . . . intuitive enough. That Charlotte will need me to see something that’s going on with her and I’ll miss it. Again.”

“Have you told her about Kelly?”

I shook my head.

“You will, when the time’s right.”

I put an arm around her shoulders. “It’s good to see you, Mom.”

“You too. We’re all here for you, you know.”

“I know.”

“And I’m thrilled you’ve found someone special again.”

“I was worried about whether I’d be good for her at first, but I am, you know? In all the ways that matter.”

Mom gave me a knowing smile. “Of course you are. I can see how much she means to you.”

“She does. Not just because of the baby. I’ve been thinking—” I looked around and lowered my voice “—about how if Kelly were still here, I’d probably be married to her. I never would’ve even met Charlotte. Makes me feel like a real dick even having those thoughts.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You tried to reach Kelly, but she was hurting deeply. The accident affected so many lives. She’d have wanted you to move on.”

I nodded. “I have. I’m at peace with things, but this day . . . it brings it back, you know?”

“It does for me, too. And I think that’s okay. When you share it with Charlotte, I bet her understanding will help. She sounds like a woman who will understand.”

Just the thought of Charlotte made me smile. She was more than special to me. I was starting to think fate had brought us together that night. It was like I found the woman I was looking for without even realizing I was looking.

I hadn’t planned on settling down this young. There was also my job and the constant travel it required. My lack of financial security. The fact she was Liam’s sister.

I no longer gave a single shit about any of that. I just wanted her.

Charlotte

It was a low-key Christmas Day at the apartment. My mom had run to the store for some last-minute dinner ingredients, and Liam hadn’t arrived yet. I was unloading the dishwasher when James came into the room and started helping me.

“Hey, Merry Christmas,” he said. “Guess I was tired.”

“Merry Christmas.”

It was close to noon and he’d just woken up. Not that I was judging since I’d slept ’til almost ten myself. James sorted clean silverware into the drawers, and I again wondered what had come over him. He’d never helped with this kind of stuff before.

“So how’s it going?” I asked.

He smiled and looked down at the silverware. “It’s good.”

“You seem . . . different lately.”

He glanced up at me. “Do I?”

“You’re like a different person.”

“I’m guessing you like this one better.”

I couldn’t help laughing. “Yeah, I’m not complaining or anything. Just wondering if you’re saving up comments and off-color jokes so you can hit me all at once or something.”

“Nah.”

“What brought on this new you?”

His face reddened and he shrugged. “I sort of . . . met someone. Someone who makes me want to be a better person.”

“You did? That’s great.”

His eyes twinkled as he looked at me and smiled like I’d never seen him smile. “It is. I’m really happy.”

“Tell me all about it. What’s her name?”

His blush deepened. “It’s actually . . . Brian.”

“Brian?” I tried not to look too shocked.

“Yeah.” He shrugged again. “Turns out I’m gay. I’ve always been drawn to men, but I never realized that was why. I just tried my whole life to find the right woman, and nothing ever fit. I felt like I was wrong in every way. And then I met Brian and it was like a light bulb went off. He loves who he is and makes me kind of love who I am, too. I don’t even have to try. We just . . . work, you know?”

“Oh, James. This is incredible. I’m so proud of you.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. You’ve shown a lot of courage. I’ve never seen you happier.”

He nodded. “Thanks. I’m meeting his family this afternoon. I’m nervous.”

“Just be yourself. Don’t try to be funny.”

Our eyes met and we both laughed at that.

“Got it,” he said. “And hey, wanted to ask you . . . would you meet Brian? Maybe we could all have dinner here one night soon?”

“Sure.”

He sighed, looking relieved. “Thanks. My family will be shocked by this, to say the least. I was hoping you could meet him for a dry run to help my nerves a little.”

“I’d love to. Maybe Bennett can come, too.”

“You mean Christopher?”

I buried my face in my hands. “I know.
Ugh.
I know.”

“What’s up with that?”

“Well, Bennett and I didn’t realize this the night we met and got it on, but he and my brother are teammates
and
roommates.”

“Oh, fuck.” James’s eyes bulged. “He didn’t say he was a hockey player?”

“It didn’t come up.”

He blew out a breath. “So now what?”

“Now . . . I work up the courage to have a conversation with my family, too. Nothing like the one you’ll have, but . . . I empathize.”

There was a knock at the door, and I wiped my hands on a dish towel and went to answer it.

“Merry Christmas,” Liam said, opening his arms for a hug.

“Merry Christmas.”

“I hope my present is finally meeting Christopher.”

“Ah, no.”

He furrowed his brow and stepped inside. James came out of the kitchen and a feeling of panic lodged in my throat. I’d trusted my historically-an-asshole roommate with my deepest secret. He could spill it to Liam right now, laugh his ass off, and leave me to pick up the pieces.

“Merry Christmas, Liam,” James said, turning to me right after my brother muttered a “Merry Christmas” in return. “I’m just gonna get a quick shower and go.”

Relief set in. My secret would live to see another day. But hopefully not many more, because I was ready to have everything out in the open. I just wanted Bennett by my side when that happened.

“Where’s Mom?” Liam asked, sitting on my couch.

“At the store.”

“How long is she staying here?”

“She hasn’t said. I tell her every day that she needs to go back home, pack her stuff, and leave Michael.”

Liam shook his head and looked disgusted. “She won’t. She’ll wait ’til he kicks her out.”

“Exactly. We know the pattern well.”

I was about to sit down by Liam when there was another knock at the door. I opened it and saw a uniformed messenger holding out a package.

“Charlotte Holloway?”

“Yeah, that’s me . . . hold on.”

I got five dollars from my purse and gave it to him. He passed me the package and gave me a mock salute.

When I opened it, there was a small, wrapped Christmas gift inside. My heart skipped a beat as I wondered if it was from Bennett. Part of me wanted to open it later, when I was alone, but another part was too eager.

I tore into the package and found a small black box. Inside was a pearl ring with little diamonds on each side of the stone. The June birthstone. I broke out into a huge grin as I read the card.

Merry Christmas, baby. Wish we could be together.

• ~B
  

“What do we have here?” Liam ripped the card from my hand.

“Give it back!”

“Aw, he calls you baby. How original.” He held the note in the air where I had no hope of reaching it and looked at me. “B? I thought his name was Christopher.”

“It is.”

“Then what’s this?” He shook the note back and forth.

I had to think fast. “It’s . . . my nickname for him. Boo Bear.”

“Boo Bear?” Liam grimaced. “The fuck is that? Is this guy a pansy?”

“Give it to me, Liam. Now.”

“Why haven’t I met him?”

I glared at him. “It just never feels like the right time to introduce him to my overbearing brother.”

“A good guy would want to meet your family.”

“Who said he doesn’t want to?”

“Then where the fuck is he?” Liam narrowed his eyes at me. “The only guy who’s stepped up so far is Riley.”

“He had no business calling you! Give me that note, Liam.”

“You ought to consider it. Where’s this Boo Bear asshole at? It’s Christmas, Charlotte. What about next Christmas? Will he be with someone else then, too?”

“I’m a grown woman,” I said through gritted teeth. “And right now I’m a very pissed off one. Give me that note.”

He handed it over, shaking his head.

“I just want what’s best for my niece or nephew,” he said.

“I do, too. You need to trust my judgment. Riley is a complete asshole. And I don’t have to be with a man to be a great parent to my child.”

“So you’re
not
with him, then? Christopher Van Douchenozzle, I mean.”

“If I wanted you to know anything more, I’d tell you.”