Bent not Broken (247 page)

“Mostly,” I shrugged. “I eat at the bar a lot. And Ms. Patty or Mavis drop by with food throughout the week. I think there’s some leftover fried chicken in the fridge.”

Kami nodded while sucking fruit juice off her fingers. I was on her before she could even blink.

“Maybe one day I could cook for you,” she said breathlessly, feeding me a small slice of peach.

I sucked the juice off her fingers slowly, twirling my barbell against the soft pads of her fingers. “You can cook?”

“Mmmm,” she moaned, as I nibbled the inside of her wrist, lapping up the juice that had dribbled down her hand. “Yeah. I’m pretty decent. I used to watch my mom in the kitchen. I think it was what she considered quality time - her cooking and me watching.”

I abandoned her wrist and fished a piece of melon from the bowl. Teasing her tongue, I glided the fruit across her lips before sucking the nectar from her mouth.

“You keep this up, and we’ll never get any food made,” she giggled once I released her lips. I rewarded her with the slice of melon.

“Would that be so bad?”

“Not at all. Especially since my hunger for food has suddenly been eclipsed by my hunger for something else,” she smirked, her eyes flicking down to the bulge in my shorts.

My cock jumped to attention, straining against the fabric. I turned back towards the stove to hide the evidence of my weakened willpower. When it came to Kami, self-control went completely to the left.

“I’d love for you to cook for me one day. But I must warn you: I may not let you go after that.”

Kami smiled and slid a wedge of tangerine between her pouty lips. “That’s what I’m counting on.”

I struggled to throw together a decent meal for Kami and me, too distracted by her presence to focus on much else. Once we had both filled up on cheese omelets and toast with Ms. Patty’s homemade boysenberry jam, we lounged on the couch with glasses of wine. Kami tucked her body under my arm and laid her head on my chest. She felt good in my arms. It felt natural, like she was made to always be there. It was presumptuous as hell, but shit… I didn’t believe in playing games. Not when it came to her.

“What does this mean?” she asked, running her fingers over the tattoo on my chest.

I grasped her hand gently and placed it over the words forever etched in my skin.
“Alis Volat Propriis
. It’s Latin for
‘she flies with her own wings.’”
I guided her fingers to the cluster of roses adorning the lettering. “These are Amelia roses. My mother’s name was Amelia Rose Jacobs.”

“It’s beautiful,” she smiled, as I brought her fingers up to my lips.

“I got it when I was 16. Even my ornery old uncle got a little choked up when I showed him.”

“I love your tattoos. I never really was into them before, but on you…it just sorta fits. Like I couldn’t imagine you without them.”

I released her fingers so she could explore further. “When did you get this?” she asked, pointing to my right sleeve.

“Different pieces from over the last few years,” I explained as she traced a finger over the mural that covered my arm. “I like to get something done whenever I travel to a different place. Sorta like the road map of my life.”

“How do you find time to travel the world and run a business?”

“I wasn’t always the owner of Dive,” I shrugged. “After shit went down with me and my ex, then with that asshole Clark… I kinda fell off the grid. As soon as my probation was up, I hit the road. No cell phone, no email, just the world mapped out in front of me. I needed to get away, just escape all the bullshit that was waiting for me here. And I really had no plans to ever return.”

I ran a hand through Kami’s hair while she continued her study of the lines and colors embedded in my skin. “I was gone for almost two years when I heard about my uncle’s situation with the bar. I knew what I needed to do. He took in his sister’s little badass kid and treated me like his own. Even moved to a better neighborhood to try to give me a new start. I owed it to him to help out. So, about a year ago, I came back.”

“Family is important to you,” she smiled up at me, her face completely devoid of sorrow. There was something else there. Admiration? Pride? The way she looked at me…I don’t know…it stirred something inside me. Like maybe she could see the man that I desperately wanted to be. Not the guy covered in ink with a reputation for being too quick with his fists. Not the guy that used to bang different chicks every night just because he could. Not the man that had tried to run from the shitty hand that life had dealt him.

Maybe Kami could see straight into my soul just as I tried to see into hers. With those green eyes penetrating flesh and bone, awakening the parts of me that I had kept hidden from the rest of the world, I silently vowed to make life beautiful for her again. To erase the ugliness that her father had left behind years ago. To restore her faith in humanity and make her believe in happily-ever-afters.

To
be
her happily-ever-after.

Chapter 24

Kami

They say God laughs when you make plans.

I had planned to survive. I was resigned to not having any emotional attachments other than Angel and Dom. I could float from job to job, refusing to lay down any roots in order to stay detached. I’d even move every few years, hoping to just coast under the radar. Life would be…easy, filled with inconsequential interactions just to squelch the need for intimacy. Shallow. Insignificant. And lonely.

God was flippin’ hysterical right now.

I knew Blaine was different. I wasn’t naive to the fact that I had feelings for him. Feelings that I never thought someone like me could ever harbor. I just didn’t know how deep those feelings could run. And holy shit…they ran deep. So deep that the impulse to stay and make Blaine the center of my universe was just as strong as the one to run like hell and escape the unknown.

Even as I made my way through the doors at Dive after waking up in his arms just hours before, sentiments of both bliss and dread overwhelmed me. I counted to 10, but the queasy feeling in my gut didn’t subside. My hands were clammy, and tiny beads of sweat broke out on the back of my neck. Still, something kept my feet moving farther into the building. Towards him. Running away wasn’t even an option.

The moment his deep brown eyes bore into mine, I knew exactly what that impulse was. It was all him. All Blaine. My affections for that scary-beautiful man had won out over reason and rendered me absolutely dumbfounded. I knew I was a fool, but dammit, I was a deliriously happy one.

“You’re not gonna make this easy, are you?” I asked, after I eased behind the bar.

Blaine narrowed his eyes, one side of his mouth curling into a knowing smirk. “Make what easy?”

I looked around to make sure no one was in earshot. “Playing it cool. Trying to act like nothing happened.”

“And why would I want you to do that?”

I frowned. “You don’t really want everyone knowing that we… slept together, do you?”

“Why not?” he shrugged. “I mean, no, they don’t need details. But Kami, what happened between us was more than just sex. You get that, right?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Not convinced that you do.”

Without saying another word, Blaine hopped on top of the bar and towered over the Dive Hump Day Happy Hour crowd. Everyone looked up at him like he had three heads.

“Attention everyone! You see this beautiful woman behind the bar? Well… I am pretty much crazy about her. Like fucking insane. And whether she wants it or not, Kami’s got me.
All of me
. And, all bullshit aside, I just want her too.”

Half the bar erupted into cheers, most of the patrons raising their glasses to Blaine and me in an air-toast while the other half ignored us completely. When Blaine hopped down from his makeshift soapbox, I was already seven shades of red and completely mortified.

“
Oh my God!
Why did you do that?” I screeched, covering my face.

Blaine gently tugged my hands and wrapped them around his waist before grasping my flush cheeks in his large tattooed hands. “Because, Kami, when you know, you know. And you don’t fight it. You don’t deny the inevitable. You free fall because you know there’s someone there to catch you on the other side.”

His face inched closer to mine, close enough for the scent of mint and spice to intoxicate me as his earnest words entranced me. “You don’t have to be afraid of falling. Just close your eyes, let go, and know that I’ll always be here with arms outstretched, ready to catch you.”

****

“So Blaine, what’s going on with you and my girl?” Angel asked, before taking a bite out of her French fry.

It was Thursday, over a week since Blaine and I had officially crossed the line from friends to lovers, leading to a mortifying declaration to the entire bar. Open Mic Nights were quickly becoming just as popular as nights when AngelDust ruled the stage, especially since my performance two weeks prior. Luckily, I had successfully reiterated to Angel that it was a one-time deal. She promised not to spring anymore surprises on me though I did have to throw her a teeny tiny bone and confess my real feelings for Blaine. To most, it was obvious. But me actually saying the words out loud to another living soul? Major.

Blaine swung his gaze to me and smiled. “You’ll have to ask Kam.”

“Ugh. Don’t you think I tried? I even bribed her with promises of shoes and handbags. Nothing. I swear, that girl is a steel vault,” Angel griped, rolling her eyes.

“Get over it,” Dom chimed in, swiping a chicken tender from her plate. “Not everyone is as shameless as you. Or slutty.”

“Slutty? Oh you’re one to talk! I’m sorry…I believe I ran into one of your “dates” this morning after you left for work. What was her name again? You know…the one with the butterfly tattoo?”

“How the hell should I know?” Dom munched away before whipping his head back to Angel with wide eyes. “Wait! How would you know about her tattoo? A tattoo that’s on her
ass?!”

I watched as the pieces fell into place for Dom, while Angel gave him a devious grin.

“Dammit, Angel! Not again!” he scoffed.

Angel shrugged and resumed nibbling her fry. “Not my fault you left her unsatisfied, and she found her way to my room. Don’t be so sensitive, Dom. It’s not like you cared.”

Dominic shook his head before turning to pin me with an accusatory glare. “And you knew about this?”

“Why are you asking her?” Angel interjected before I could even open my mouth to answer. “She spent the night at Blaine’s.
Again.”

My mouth dropped. I didn’t know what to be more mortified about: Angel announcing my newly revived sex life to the entire bar, CJ snickering beside her as he looked me up and down, or Blaine’s cocky grin. I decided a little friendly retaliation was in order.

“Thank God for that,” I shot back. “I sure as hell don’t want to witness you running to Dom’s room to borrow lube while wearing a strap-on.
Again
.”

Dom’s face was as red as Angel’s cherry red lipstick. “Ang, keep that shit in your room! I don’t want plastic dicks flying around where I sleep! And get your own damn lube!”

I shook my head at my shameless roommates, leaving them to bicker, before looking back at Blaine.

I returned his smile. “Still wanna be weird?” I asked, nodding towards the raucous scene before us.

He rolled the metal barbell inside his mouth, causing the delicious ache that still lingered between my legs to grow into a throb. “If it means I get to be with you? Yes. Weird as hell.”

Within the next hour, the crowd inside Dive had doubled, and we were swamped. I was glad for the distraction. With Blaine near, all I could think about was being pressed against him, feeling his hips settle between my legs, his tongue tracing a path down the length of my throat down to my hardened nipples…

“Kam?”

I looked up at Blaine, who was wearing a knowing smile. “This morning
was
incredible,” he whispered, causing my face to flame as hot as the fire in my belly.

“There you go again, giving me that look.”

Noticing my blush, Blaine stroked the apple of my cheek with the back of his hand. “The one that makes you nervous?”

I looked away, embarrassed by my wayward thoughts. “No. The one that makes me want to take you in the back and let you…”

“How you doin’ this evening, Dive?” Angel’s voice bellowed through the speakers, drawing my attention. Blaine’s eyes stayed focused on me, waiting for me to finish voicing my fantasy.

“This next performer is a repeat, and a damn good, musician. And ladies… he’s pretty fuckin’ hot, right?”

Shrill catcalls and estrogen-fueled hoots answered Angel as a familiar face climbed onto the stage. I couldn’t say I knew him, but something about him piqued my interest enough to keep my eyes trained on the guitar-toting blonde.

Then the memory hit me like a 2-ton boulder, stealing my breath and causing the prickle of new tears to sting my eyes. It was the same guy who had performed weeks ago, singing the song that had me running to the back before I burst into uncontrollable sobs. The song that had summoned the painful reminder of the man who had wounded me to my core. And when my tears had breached the dam, Blaine was right there, pulling me into his chest, wrapping his strong arms around me as I emptied 23 years worth of heartbreak and anger into his t-shirt.

My eyes met Blaine’s, hoping he would understand and let me slip out before emotion drowned me. I couldn’t revisit that dark headspace. I couldn’t keep letting him see me broken and defeated.

“Just wait, baby,” he said, his warm eyes devoid of alarm, despite my expression. “It’s not what you think. You’ll be ok.”

He turned me back to face the stage, just as the guy situated himself behind the mic.

“Good evening,” he said, his voice smooth and rich. “My name is Taylor Hart, and I have a special song, dedicated to a very special lady, from someone who is…” He smiled as he paused, scanning the crowd, “…fucking crazy about her.”

He spotted Blaine and I stationed at the bar and nodded, a mischievous grin on his face. “This is “Your Guardian Angel,” originally by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Hope you enjoy.”