Bent not Broken (314 page)

“And you guys are good with that?”

“Yes,” they say in unison.

“Why didn’t y’all say anything? And how did you know?” I ask, still incredulous.

Finn answers, “It’s gross how we know. I’m
not
saying it.” He swipes his arms in safe motion. I guess that makes it final or something.

Paris pipes up, “We saw you kiss when we were at the park a few days ago. We came from fishing from the other side of the lake, so we just turned around and headed back in the other direction.”

I know my face is blood red; I’m so embarrassed. “I’m sorry, guys.”

With an eye roll, Finn says, “Mom, we’re not babies.”

I squeeze him tight. “I know that, but I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you and that you found out that way.”

Archer looks over at Adrian and takes him in for a minute before he asks, “So what are your plans with our mom?”

“Archer!” I squeak.

“It’s OK, Celeste,” Adrian reassures me before looking back to Archer. “I think it’s important that you boys understand how much you and your mom mean to me. I consider y’all my family, and I have for a long time. And, to be honest, I’ve never had a family like this.” He looks from boy to boy and then finally to me. “I plan to protect that with everything I’ve got. And as for your mother,” he says as he makes eye contact with me again, “I plan to marry her if she’ll have me.” I feel my jaw drop but that doesn’t slow him down. He releases me from his stare to look at the boys with a wicked little smile. “Maybe you guys could help me think of a cool way to propose.”

Paris doesn’t miss a beat, “I think you just did.” We all laugh out loud.

I think he just did, indeed, and if I hadn’t been so shocked, I’d have probably said yes on the spot.

****

AFTER OUR REVEALING little chat, we settle in to watch a movie. Usually Adrian sits on one of the chairs with one of the boys and the other two boys and I will sit on the couch or they’ll curl up with the dogs on the floor. Tonight, however, he sits on the couch with me but still a respectable distance away. Archer and Paris lie on the floor using Shaggy, their Collie, as their pillow. Finn has his head on my lap and his feet in Adrian’s. Ruby is curled up next to me. I haven’t watched the movie at all because Adrian’s hand has never left my hair and his beautiful blues have never looked away from me.

****

ADRIAN LET ME tuck the boys in tonight so that I could have a private conversation with them about how they felt about our being a family. I told the boys that they are the first to know and that I’d appreciate them allowing me to tell everyone else. The boys assured me they were more than OK with it. In fact, they loved it. They told me repeatedly that they love Adrian. When I assured them that Adrian would add to our family and make it whole in a new way and that he wasn’t trying to replace their dad, they practically laughed at me and told me that that wasn’t something they were worried about—mature little things.

After I put the little ones in bed, Archer called me back into his room and told me that he’d been worried about what was going on between me and Adrian. He didn’t like the idea of someone, even Adrian, dating his mom without knowing what that person’s intentions were. Once again, I’m floored by one of my thoughtful sons, and I’m so grateful I didn’t screw everything up.

I’m still grinning when I hit the living room ready to make my way to the sunroom for a little private time with my man when I see him still in the living room leaning over the piano playing a couple of quiet notes. I sneak behind him and wrap my arms around him. Burying my forehead between his shoulder blades, I inhale deeply all that is him—strength, masculinity, compassion.

He continues to play for a few seconds before he asks, “Did I scare you with the marriage talk?”

I swallow hard. I’m not scared—I’m petrified. But not of the things he thinks I’m afraid of. “I love that that’s where your heart is. Truth be told, I can’t imagine my life without you. I think we still have some things to figure out, don’t you?”

After a minute of listening to him tinker around, he says, “We do. We need to talk. How about the front porch tonight?”

Loosening my arms to allow him to turn into me, I tilt my head back and take him in. Worry mars his features. I run my fingertips over the frown lines around his eyes. “You all right?”

“Yeah, just some things I want to tell you. I don’t want to get distracted on that loveseat,” he says as he leans in and proves his point by giving me a deep kiss. His hands slip behind me and overlap each other on my behind as he pulls me in tight before releasing me.

“Mmm...OK...I’ll meet you out there.”

Once I make my way to the porch, I’m a ball of nerves. I’ve an idea what he wants to share and it terrifies me. What if what they have on him is so bad that we can’t be together? That it would affect the boys for us to be together? I can’t even wrap my mind around the concept of living my life without him. I know we’ve only had a couple of weeks together, but what we’ve been able to carve out is everything I’ve ever needed. I’m not ready to give that up. I’m certainly not ready to give him up.

He pats the swing beside him, and I barely get settled before he jumps right to the matter at hand.

“I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, Celeste, but you have to know that I did them to protect you and the boys from William and the family. I’m afraid that what I’m about to tell you will scare you off, but I hope not. I want you to know I’m done with it. I won’t be doing them any more favors. If you know the truth, they have nothing to hold over my head. That’s the only thing that was keeping me in play.” Pausing, he looks at me and I can see the fear swimming in his eyes.

I’m scared too, but I reach out and run my hand up and down his jaw for a moment. He leans into my touch and closes his eyes as if gathering his strength.

Without opening his eyes, he begins after a deep sigh. “Did you know they picked me up and brought me in to harass me after I started helping you with the boys?” I murmur my no, but I’m not surprised. I knew how much they had hated him. “Yep, they were ticked that you were spending time with me and were trying to scare me off. Of course, they weren’t successful. Anyway, it wasn’t too long after they started talking to me about joining their ranks. I was able to keep them at bay, telling them I wanted to focus on my music career and possibly go to law school.” His eyes pop open, and I can see his sincerity. I give him an encouraging nod. “When I found out about their plan to marry you to William, I went to them and told them to back off. It was worse than just William. If he didn’t work out, their back up plan was to marry you to another cronies’ son.” I swallow hard, and if possible, come to despise them more. “They were insistent for a while but finally implied that they would leave you alone if I’d be willing to help them out. That was my condition—you and the boys were untouchable. I didn’t consider what they would want from me. As long as I was protecting y’all, I didn’t care. At first, it was little things—errands and such. Nothing illegal, just unethical mostly. But that didn’t last long. It escalated pretty quickly to me becoming a collector. Do you know what that is?”

Closing my eyes slowly, I nod my head slowly before reopening them. “Please don’t cry, baby,” he pleads as he wipes my tears from my face. I didn’t mean to start crying, and I didn’t even realize I had, but the thought of him hurting other people to protect me rips my heart out.

“Did it escalate from collector?” My voice sounds dead, but I can’t muster any strength because if he did more than collect we are in trouble.

“No, but they’re wanting it to. I’m going to talk to them tomorrow and come clean with them. Let them know that they can’t threaten me where you’re concerned any more. Honestly, I don’t care where this puts me, but I know it’s going to hurt you. I know they’re going to try to make you pay.”

I feel my shoulders relax because I may have our way out of this whole nightmare. Nodding, I take a deep breath before I launch into telling him about my meeting with Mr. OG. His blues run the emotional gamut before I finish—anger, fear, disbelief. “Do you think that would work? Me getting that information before you talk to them and having it accessible in case they threaten us further?”

He runs an impatient hand through his hair. “Well, I’m not crazy about you meeting with this OG guy but if Tripp trusted him then we probably can too.” I nod my agreement. “I think it will help put us on an equal playing field. Though, I wish Tripp would’ve shared that information with you rather than doing all this.”

“He probably thought that everything would be fine. He always tried to see the good in everyone, you know? And he would’ve never seen this thing with William coming.
I
couldn’t have predicted that, but I’m not surprised by their underhanded means and compulsion to control my life. That’s always been the case.”

“I know how they are with the men, so I can imagine how tough they were on you.”

I take a deep breath to prepare myself to tell him something I’d never told another soul. Not even Bonnie knew the whole story. “I got a wild hair while I was in college and had a short-lived fling with a guy named Scott. He was a handsome, nice, normal guy. Not connected. Not a threat in the world we live in. Anyway, before I began school, I was informed that I was to marry Tripp after graduation and that I was to save myself for him.” Suddenly uncomfortable, I shift on the swing and will myself to say these words aloud. Adrian squeezes my hand in silent support. “When they found out about Scott, I was summonsed to the office and told that I would be cut off from the family and kicked out of school if I didn’t end things; furthermore, they would have Scott’s scholarship pulled for his ‘drug use’ and his family’s small business would have ‘faced troubling times’ if I didn’t end it without a fuss. The worst part—they made me apologize to Tripp for sleeping around. He was so good to me about it. You know, sometimes I think that the whole reason he went along with their plans and married me was because he felt sorry for me. If he’d said no, there’s no telling who I would’ve ended up with. He knew that too.”

Adrian brushes my hair behind my shoulders and runs his thumb over my cheek. “I’m sorry, baby. About the threats and humiliation that is, not about you having to end things with that guy. And Tripp respected the hell out of you. Nothing was clearer to me than that.”

I give a little laugh. “He really was good to me. Anyway, I’d thought for a brief moment that if I pushed, if I questioned I might be able to escape their rule, so I gave it a little try. But I was just too scared to follow through.” Looking up at him, I promise, “But not now. I’m not scared anymore. I’m not going to let them destroy us—any of us.”

He leans back in the swing and brings me with him. I curl into his chest and, bringing my legs up under me, settle in. Adrian pushes off with his feet and swings us slowly. He exhales a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Celeste. Sorry that I acted on impulse. You’re going to lose your family over this, over me,” he says as he rubs my back soothingly.

Leaning back a little to capture his eyes, I tell him, “I’m not sorry that I chose you over them. That incident? Nothing new. All they’ve ever done my entire life is use me and hurt me and the people I care about. I know that I’m not exactly suffering in the grand scheme of things—I have everything anyone could ever want—but all that doesn’t compensate for the emotional hell they’ve put me through. I think that’s why I’m kinda over the top with the boys. I never want them to doubt for one second that I love them for exactly who they are.”

Tenderness battles with fierceness in my heart, before I confess, “Being with you, Adrian, it’s everything I’ve ever needed. Tripp protected me and loved me in his own way. But, with you, I feel like you love me for me. Not for what I have to offer you or what you can acquire or who you can make happy by being with me. And the things you make me feel—I thought I’d never be free to feel, so I don’t regret us. I’ll never be sorry for loving you.”

He doesn’t say a word, just grabs my jaw and ravages me. I cry out a little in surprise as he bites my lip a little to get me to open up to him. Once I do, his taste, his scent, his strength assail me so that I feel only pleasure at the little assault he exacts on me.

When he releases me, I lay my head on his chest to try to gather my wits and my breath.

After several beats, I do tell him what I regret. “I’m sorry that you had to compromise yourself to protect me.”

“I’ve done far worse than that, babe. You forget where I’ve been and what I’ve done. I’ve been on the frontlines of many wars. I’ve watched lives end right in front of me. I’ve even been the one to end some of those lives.”

Tilting my head back, I whisper fervently, “That’s different.”

“Hmm...is it?”

“Yes, you were fighting for your country and protecting her citizens. What you did over there was honorable.”

He doesn’t answer me. Instead, he places a light kiss on the end of my nose and nudges my mouth up to take me again. And take me he does. Our disturbing conversation recedes from my mind like the ocean during a tsunami.

Fifteen

Never Saw It Coming

I CONVINCE ADRIAN to wait until the weekend and until we get to the country to enlighten the family about the change in our relationship, arguing that being in a more relaxed setting might help our case. Since he agreed, we have a few more days of peace before all hell breaks loose. I don’t doubt for a second that that’s exactly what it’ll be like either.

Hearing my front door open and my best friend shouting for me jerks me out of my pensive state. She’s the one person I’m dying to tell. She’s going to be so happy for us and so supportive. I pop out of my bedroom to catch her checking herself out in my full-length mirror. Her eyes are currently roving over her behind.

I gasp. “You look amazing.” She has on a hot pink jumper that is sleeveless and very, very short. Gold jewelry accents her waist, her throat, and her wrists. The high-heeled booties make her legs look even longer. “Wow. Bonnie, you always look great, but I’ve never seen you look so...”