Bent not Broken (32 page)

I smile and think of the last time I saw him.

We were at an underground nightclub. Arsen had chosen this place because we could blend in with the crowd easily and go unnoticed. The music was fast and hard, but as the crowd moved around us, bouncing and grinding, Arsen and I remained in our own little bubble. I could smell his delicious cologne and if I wanted, taste his sweat with my tongue. Arsen bent his head to rest his forehead against mine, grabbed my ass and pulled me flush against him, instantly igniting my ache for him. And like rolling waves, we danced together as one. Slowly. Sensually. Carnally.

The heat of the club, the sweat of our skin, the feel of his body so close to mine, yet not close enough, made me feel euphoric. Nothing seemed important but Arsen.

Nudging me gently, then not so gently, I started to laugh when I felt exactly what had nudged me. A smirking Arsen closed the space between our faces and kissed me open mouthed while our bodies kept writhing against each other.

I loved it.

We should have felt awkward by making out to this extent in the middle of the dance floor, but Arsen and I seemed to be in a different world where the passion that was making me incredibly wet and Arsen extremely hard, made everything trivial. I didn’t even care if pictures of this night made it on the newspaper. I was that far gone in ecstasy.

When the song changed to something even louder and faster than the one before, Arsen seemed to realize where we were. He let go of my ass, and cupped my chin in his hand while his fingers ran through my hair.

He moved his mouth close to my ear and whispered, “What is it about you that makes me fucking lose my mind?”

Before I had a chance to react, Arsen grabbed my hand and made me follow him to a dark and empty corner. By the time we made it to there, he backed me up against the wall. Arsen grabbed the hem of his shirt to wipe the perspiration off my face, revealing part of his six-pack. I wanted to lean down and trace my tongue through every ripple covered in his sweat.

After he releases his shirt, Arsen took me by surprise when he used the front of his body to pin me against the wall. He put his hands on the wall encasing my head, and then he leaned down to run his nose through my hair, my throat, behind my ear.

“The feel of you…” he whispered in my ear, “I want you so damn much. I don’t think I have ever wanted someone as much as I want you.”

It was in these moments when I was out with Arsen, so full of him, that not a thought of Ben crossed my mind. When I was able to bury my feelings for him deep in my heart and ignore the guilt festering inside me.

When I could ignore reality and pretend that Arsen was mine.

And in that moment I was drunk and high of him.

He was all I wanted.

He made me want to throw my head back and laugh.

He made me forget.

When Arsen voiced how much he wanted me, I felt powerful and inebriated with excitement. I wanted to show him how much he meant to me. He watched me closely as I lowered my eyes to where our bodies were connected, my hand coasting over the lean sides of his waist, the muscles of his chest, and his tense abdomen. Our need for each other so palpable in the air around us.

I wanted to touch him, to feel him in my hands, to make him feel as excited as he made me. I wanted him down on his knees with want. For me.

Without giving much thought to what I was about to do, I slid my fingers inside his jeans and boxer briefs until they curved over his erection.

I saw him close his eyes and take a deep breath as my hand felt how hard he was for me. Wanting to give him as much pleasure as possible, I slowly caressed his length, my thumb lightly rubbing the head of his dick.

Up and down…

Up and down…

I contracted my fingers boldly around him until I heard him hiss.

Arsen lowered his head and began whispering kisses all over my face with such tenderness it made me want to cry. It was as if he were worshiping me with his mouth and his touch. His searching lips lingered in the corners of mine, across my nose, then made their way back to my mouth. Urgently, I turned my face to kiss him, wanting his lips, his tongue, his mouth on mine, and he gave me what I wanted. He kissed me slowly, owning me by excruciating degrees, making me moan and open my mouth fully to the penetration of his tongue. Arsen led the kiss, setting the pace, not letting me pull away even when I felt overpowered by him.

He removed his hands from the wall and pulled me even closer to him than before. Arsen then hunched his shoulders over me and brought one of his hands to cup my ass, lifting me so that I stood on my tip-toes. I let go of his erection and brought my hands to his hair. I twisted and pulled it until I made him groan. He moved his mouth to my throat, to the top of my breasts peeking out of my tank top and licked the sweat off.

By that point, I had lost my fucking mind with need for him, so I brought one of my legs up to wrap around his waist, bringing us closer than before. In this new position, I was open to him, open to his wandering hand. He caressed the inside of my thigh as his fingers under my skirt inched up, and up, and up until I was sure he could feel how wet I was. His possessive hand stroked me outside my panties.

I knew we should have been paying more attention to what was going on around us, after all we were in a very public place and people could snap a picture, but honest to God…

I couldn’t care less, and Arsen seemed less concerned than me.

Arsen lips parted, and his eyes widened ever so slightly as he felt how close I was to getting off; his fingers teased and caressed me until I shattered.

My pulse pounded in my ears and throat while I felt spasms come over me, each beat of bliss pulling low moans from my throat. If not for the support of his hand on my ass, I’d have stumbled forward. His erection pressed hard against my belly while he watched my face, my mouth, the fast rise and fall of my breasts, with an expression of awe. Once I was coherent again, I noticed his flushed face and the way his jaw was set so tight, conveying how tense and in pain he was.

A smiling Arsen put a finger under my chin and lifted it until I looked up into his beautiful eyes. He bent to kiss me once more, but this kiss was short and sweet.

“Only…so…much...self…control.” I heard him say through the music. Then he helped me lower my leg and set our clothes in order, wincing as he adjusted his erection. When he was ready to lead us back to our table, he made sure my clothes were in place. He leaned down to whisper, “I don’t know how it’s possible, but you look more beautiful than before.”

I looked at him feeling my already flushed face turn hotter and mumbled, “Ummm...thank you.”

Arsen gazed down at me for a moment longer, then throwing his head back, he laughed. When he was done laughing, he said, “Best fucking dancing experience ever. Maybe I should do it more often?”

I wanted to smack him on the shoulder, but I laughed instead. He looked so adorable, all flushed. “Which reminds me…about your situation.”

Arsen wrapped his arms around my waist. “Don’t give it a thought, Dimples. I am very satisfied. Just keep your sweet ass in front of me when we get to the table and we’ll be okay.”

“What’s that smile for?” Arsen asks.

“Oh, nothing. Just thinking about your moves.”

“The club?” he asks, a cocky smile on his lips.

“Yep.”

“Shit, that was fucking incredible.”

And I agree. It was incredible, but it was because of him.

When we arrive at his apartment, I take in the minimalistic décor. I’ve only been here twice before today. We usually meet in a hotel in Queens, but Arsen figures his apartment can be just as private as long as we pretend not to know each other when we walk in.

The last time I was here my whole attention had been on Arsen, so as I make my way to his master bedroom, I take in my surroundings. Everything looks so empty and lifeless.

“How come you don’t have any pictures hanging on your walls?” I ask, glancing over my shoulder to stare at Arsen who is stripping me naked with his eyes.

Arsen shrugs his shoulders and follows me.

“There’s no point. All I want to look at is standing in front of me,” he says hoarsely.

“Oh. Um…” I stutter.

“Wait, come here.”

Curious, I turn around and approach him. Arsen surprises me by picking me up and wrapping my legs around him. Our bodies connect intimately with our clothing as the only barrier between us.

“Better,” he says as he squeezes my butt. “I’ve missed you.” He leans down and kisses me, his tongue seeking and tangling with mine.

After kissing for a couple minutes, I break away with the need for air.

“I’ve missed you too,” I murmur against his lips.

Arsen carries me to his bedroom and puts me down in front of a floor length mirror next to his bed. As I look at my reflection, I begin to take the pins out of my hair and let it flow over my shoulders.

I want Arsen. He makes me feel free. His mere presence buries a side of me that I hate, one that makes me vulnerable by reminding me of all the pain. A pain I want to forget. And Arsen does that for me. Maybe that’s why I feel this obsession with him.

“What are you thinking?” he asks.

I watch Arsen in the mirror as he begins to remove his clothing. He pulls his gray cotton t-shirt over his head and drops it on the floor, removing his pants and boxer briefs next. The powerful muscles on his torso and his arms give me the impression that he could lift me with one hand without any effort.

“Nothing. Just admiring you,” I say, warmth settling in my core as I observe his naked body.

Arsen chuckles and closes the distance between us. Placing his arms on my shoulders, he leans down, buries his nose in my hair, and takes a deep breath, drinking in the smell. He’s so close to me that it would be extremely easy to get down on my knees and take him in my mouth. The image and the memory of his taste makes me tremble from head to toe.

“Strip down for me, Catherine,” he orders roughly.

When I begin to remove my jacket, he moves away and sits on the edge of the bed. He observes me carefully as if he is the hunter and I, his prey.

My hands tremble as I take off my clothes until I’m down to my black lace bra and thong, showcasing my slim body. I can see my pebbled pink nipples and the vee of the most intimate part of my body through the lace work.

I lift my eyes from the perusal of my body and observe Arsen doing the same while he strokes his erection in his hand. There’s a sexy smile adorning his face as he drinks me in.

“Come here.” The order, though softly said, makes me shiver in excitement.

Arsen makes a dark side of me, one that is uninhibited, come out and want to be just as bad as he is. Maybe it’s because he sets me free, I don’t know, but when I’m with him I don’t care about anything other than him.

Slowly, I straddle him until the only thing separating us is the thin silk of my thong. It would be so easy to screw each other. All he would have to do is slide the fabric to the side and push inside me. But we don’t move. We gaze intensely at each other instead.

“You drive me fucking crazy,” he says before he licks the valley between my breasts, lightly running his hands over my back. I tilt my neck back as I offer myself to him.

“I want to fuck you so bad, Dimples. I haven’t been able to think of anything else since the last time I saw you.” He lifts his hips, grinding his erection against my sex. The carnal friction makes me groan as I feel the humid warmth of my body seeping through the material separating us.

“Can you feel how much I fucking want you?” he asks roughly.

I meet his gaze and stare at his feverish bright eyes. “I want you too,” I whisper softly against his mouth. I want this. I want him. He’s everything I need in this moment.

Arsen remains silent for a second, “You know, when I saw you for the first time, I remember noticing how sad your eyes looked.” He runs his finger along the edge of my jaw, “But it was nothing compared to how lost they were three weeks ago,” he adds huskily.

“And how do they look now?” I ask as I rub myself on his dick.

He smiles tenderly at me as he rubs his thumb across my lips. “Not so lost.”

I nod. Like a beacon, this man’s inner light illuminates all the darkness surrounding me.

Arsen sobers up. “Dimples, I want to make that fucking sadness in them disappear completely.”

“Oh.” I don’t think that’s possible. I’m truly past remedy. And If I wasn’t before, I am now. “I don’t know if that will ever happen. I-I don’t think it’s feasible,” I say.

“Fuck feasible.” He kisses me on the lips. “For you, I’ll fucking make the impossible happen. There’s no room for fucking sadness in such a pretty face as yours.”

I want to smile as I take in the earnest expression on his face, but instead I shake my head once more as tears pool in my eyes. I’m falling for him, and I don’t want to. I dismiss the thought and let the thrill of the moment take over my mind.

Arsen begins to kiss my neck, letting his tongue trace the goosebumps awakened on my skin by his touch. Skillfully he removes my bra, tosses it on the floor, and then palms my breasts until my nipples are a bright red.

I lift myself on my knees, about to remove my thong, when he puts a staying hand on mine.

“No,” he orders. “Leave it on.”

Arsen grabs his hard dick in one hand while the other pushes aside the thin fabric of my thong, twisting the string so tightly around his palm you can see its red imprint on his skin.

“You’re so beautiful, so fucking sweet,” he murmurs.

I begin to lower myself onto his erection when my phone begins to ring.