Authors: Jennifer Crusie
Tags: #Fiction, #Contemporary Women, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Romantic Comedy
Then Diana said, "Wow," and Liza said, "All right, I am impressed," and Min grabbed her purse and walked out of the restaurant.
Min let the restaurant door bang behind her and crossed the sidewalk, blind with the need to save herself. She stepped off the curb and a horn blared and somebody yanked her back from the street, and she turned and barged into Cal.
"I'm sorry," he said, holding on to her. "Whatever it was that I did—"
"You're going to hurt me," she said, breathless.
"What?" he said, looking appalled. "
No
. I'd never—"
"You're going to break my heart," Min said, taking a breath like a sob. "I'm going to love you, and you're going to leave, you always do, it's what you do, and I don't think I can get over you, if I ever let go and love you, I think it'll be forever because it's so deep, it already hurts just the little bit I let myself—"
"Min, I'd
never
hurt you," Cal said.
"Not on purpose," Min said. "But you have the right to leave. You've never promised me you'd stay. That's the way it always is. You're wonderful, you know us, and we love you, and you leave. I can't do that. I could tell myself that David was an idiot who didn't know me, but you know
me."
"Min, wait," Cal said, trying to put his arms around her.
"No,
" Min said, slipping away. "Nobody in my life has ever known me the way you do. Nobody in my life has ever made me feel as good as you do. You know me, you know everything about me, and when you leave me, you're going to be leaving the real me, the me nobody else has ever seen, that's who you're going to be rejecting,"
"What makes you so sure I'm going to leave you?" Cal said, his voice sharp.
"Because that's
what you do
. You
always leave
. Are you going to promise me right now that you'll stay forever?"
"I've known you three weeks," Cal said. "That'd be a little impulsive, don't you think?"
"Yes,
" Min said. "So why the full court press? Why the perfect shoes and the perfect song and ..." She shook her head, helpless. "I
told you
we should start as friends,
I told you
—"
"You want more than friends," Cal said flatly. "That's the dumbest line you ever pulled on me."
"Look, I'm not
ready
for you," Min said. "I'm not
prepared.
I don't have any defenses when you're around. I make these plans and I mean it, I really do, and then I kiss you because I'm crazy about you which would be fine if I didn't fall in love with you but there that is, just standing there, and you know it, you know you've got me." She stopped because she was sounding hysterical.
"All right," Cal said, setting his jaw. "Maybe we—"
"I need to go home," Min said.
"All right," Cal said again. "We can—"
"
No
," Min said. "Diana will be out to find me in a minute and she'll walk me. We'll walk each other."
"Min," Cal said.
"I just wasn't expecting that song," Min said. "Not the way you sang it."
"Neither was I," Cal said grimly.
"I know," Min said. "I could see it in your eyes. You didn't mean it."
"Of course I meant it," Cal snapped, as Diana came out into the street. "I just didn't know I meant it until I sang it. Fucking Elvis and his love songs."
"Well, that's the thing about Elvis," Min said, finally losing her temper. "You make all the fun you want of the fried bananas and the sequined jumpsuits, but he never lied when he sang, he always meant it. There weren't any damn secrets—"
"
What
secrets?" Cal said.
"—and there weren't any damn lies. So the next time you want to snow somebody,
don't channel Elvis
."
Min turned away and started off down the street, making her heels click on the pavement like a backbeat.
"You know, all I wanted was a little
peace and quiet
," Cal yelled after her. "But no, I had to
get you
."
Diana hurried behind her to catch up.
"Why are you upset?" Diana said when she was beside her. She looked back over her shoulder at Cal. "That was the most romantic thing I've ever heard."
"I know," Min said and walked faster.
"What's
wrong
?" Diana said.
Min stopped. "I'll tell you if you tell me what's wrong with you and Greg."
Diana bit her lip. "You first."
"The first night Cal picked me up?" Min said.
Di nodded.
"He did it because David bet him ten bucks he couldn't get me into bed in a month," Min said.
"No, he didn't," Diana said, positive. "He wouldn't do that."
"I heard him, Di," Min said. "He did it. And I know there's more there now, but I've only known him three weeks, and I'm already lost whenever he's around, and it's just too big a gamble. He's just... he leaves women all the time. Greg was right about that. I don't want to be in a place where I'll die if he leaves me because he's going to leave me." She felt tears start and blinked them back. "And then the son of a bitch sings to me like that, and I just.. . He's just too ..."
"Dangerous," Di said. "That's why I picked Greg. I knew he'd never be dangerous."
"What happened?" Min said.
"I don't think he wants to get married anymore," Di said, and Min heard the tears in her voice. "I asked him, I told him if he wasn't ready we could postpone it, but he keeps saying he's ready, he wants to, and I think it's just because he can't stand disappointing everybody but he's—"
"What are you guys doing?" Tony said, coming up out of the dark and scaring them both into shrieks. "Standing around waiting to get mugged?"
"And now our wait is over?" Min said, trying to get her breath back.
"Cal sent me," Tony said. "He doesn't like you walking home alone. So you get me."
"You don't have to," Min said.
"Are you kidding? I'm with two hot women in the dark," Tony said. "By the time I'm finished retelling this in my head, it's going to be phenomenal."
"Is he joking?" Di said to Min.
"I don't think so," Min said. "Could you picture me about twenty pounds lighter in this fantasy?"
"No," Tony said. "I'm picturing you just the way you are, babe. Don't tell Cal or he'll break my teeth."
"Your teeth are safe," Min said, and began to walk again.
"So what would we be doing in this fantasy?" Di said to Tony as they fell into step beside Min.
"Well, first we'd read a good book because I know that classy women like you go for guys who read," Tony said.
Min took his arm. "T
hank
you for walking us home."
"Anything for you, kid," Tony said, patting her hand, and then he went on with his fantasy, and Min held on to him and tried not to think about what she was walking away from.
Back in the restaurant, David looked at Cynthie triumphantly and said, "We did that."
"No," Cynthie said, her face white. "That wasn't us."
"Min was jealous," David said, feeling better than he had in weeks. "And then Cal made a fool of himself with that stupid song and embarrassed her. You were right about us..." He waved his hand and added silently,. . .
having the best sex in the history of the world. God, I’m good.
"I wish that were true," Cynthie said, still staring at the door.
"You know they're out there fighting," David said. "Why aren't you happy?"
"There's a certain kind of fight that is ... a relationship adjustment," Cynthie said, her voice dull. "You fight, and then reconcile and move closer together. And then fight again, and reconcile. Each time there's a compromise. Each time you grow closer."
"Fighting is good?" David said. "That's nonsense,"
"What's the best kind of sex there is, David?" Cynthie said. "Makeup sex. It's because you've come back even closer. If it's the right kind of fight. You're going to have to move fast if she truly is upset with him."
"I'll call her tomorrow," David promised. "She's emotional right now. Better to let her calm down."
Cynthie looked back at the door. "All right. Be careful."
"Stop it," David said, covering her hand with his. "We won."
Cynthie shook her head. "Nobody won tonight."
Later that night, after Min and Diana had folded two hundred cake boxes and talked about the wedding but not Greg or Cal, Diana went to bed, and Min sat alone on the couch with Elvis in her lap, and tried to figure out where she'd gone wrong. Maybe if she hadn't said yes to that picnic in the park, if she hadn't kissed him back, if he hadn't kissed her at all, if she hadn't met Harry. Definitely before she met Harry. Maybe if she hadn't thought she was so damn smart that she could play David and Cal in the beginning. Maybe if she'd had enough sense not to cross the damn bar in the first place, if she'd looked at him and known nothing good could come of him and had never overheard that damn bet. It was hard to pinpoint exactly where she'd moved past reckless and into insanity, but she kept thinking if she could just figure out where she'd gone wrong, she'd understand what happened, and then she'd be done with it—
Somebody knocked on the door, and when Min opened it, Bonnie was standing there in her chenille robe holding a teapot. "I made cocoa," she said, and Min felt the tears start. "Oh, baby," Bonnie said and came in, putting her arm around Min, balancing the cocoa pot in her other hand. "Come on. We just need to talk about it."
"I thought I was so smart," Min said, fighting to keep her voice steady. She took a shuddery breath. "I kept thinking I had it all under control."
"I thought you did pretty well," Bonnie said, putting the cocoa pot down on the sewing machine table. She took a cup out of each pocket, and Min laughed at her through her tears.
"Where's Roger?" Min said. "I don't—"
"He's asleep downstairs," Bonnie said, picking up the pot. "He's worried about you, but it gets to be midnight and he clonks right out for a solid eight hours."
Min laughed again and then sniffed. "If I'd had any brains, I'd have grabbed Roger that first night."