Betrayal (26 page)

His mouth opened as he dropped the bread he’d picked up to copy my twisting bread lesson and forcefully took my own out of my hands and sat it in front of me.  “Grace, I was just talking smack and I can tell you think what you’re saying is true in your eyes.  But take it from someone who saw it before you came to us, our world is not complete without you.  You’ve made more contact with uniting the dividing lines than any full blooded Fey in our history.  Unconventional, yes, but true nonetheless.”
              By the way, that was
wow
!  He surprised me at the strangest of times.  “Thank you.”  That’s all I could say.  He blushed, picked up the bread, and starting twisting and braiding again.

The next morning, Pike was in the garden helping me plant and weed after his workout on the range.  He’d become a stationary statue piece in my otherwise very lonely morning routines.  On the third day and no Ian surfacing in the morning light with Pike, I began to wonder what he might be doing.  Either I’d done something wrong by surviving with Kin or something else was up. 

Pike was there and ready to twist the bread again into breadsticks for the noon meal.  The people had loved them the first time, so now I was designated the bread roller!  Ha!

“Why hasn’t Ian wanted to talk to me in three days?  What did I do wrong?” I finally found the guts to ask.

He chuckled like I’d said something funny.  “I’m sorry to laugh, but you always think it’s you and you couldn’t be far from the truth.  You are such a girl sometimes.”

I scowled at him and ended up pinching the bread into inedible pieces rather than actual breadsticks.

He continued anyway, “He is just feeling unworthy of you.  He feels like he doesn’t do anything but let you down all the time.”

“And he told you this?” I eyed him through my lashes as I continued to massacre the bread with a guillotine effort. 

“He doesn’t have too.  I am guy, Grace.”  It was hard to tell with Pike just how deep his disinterest in the subject went, but I doubted it would ever surface in any other way around me.  Again.  We’d made it to this level of friendship and I didn’t see it getting much easier.  At least not for him. 

“That part I noticed,” I threw in just for the fun of it.

“Not helping
friend only
Pike here.”

“Sorry,” I smiled at him, “Still think you need to get a girlfriend.”

He grimaced.

“Smell that?” I asked him.

He stood to attention, “What?”  Alarm rang in his ears.

I leaned in closer, “Optimism is crawling up your back and moving in.”

Both of us belted out a laugh.

Pike was telling stupid jokes when Ian finally decided to show up.  He walked into the kitchen like he was on a mission, but stopped abruptly when he saw us.  Or rather, both of us
together
.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said to our blank faces.  Guess we did stop talking too fast. 

Pike stood and said he had to get to the range leaving us alone.  No he didn’t, he just left the range!

Ian shifted his weapon around on his belt for a bit then brought his flickering eyes up to mine.  I was already there. 

“Do you think you could spare some time for me?” I snipped no longer dodging the bullet.  It wasn’t right for me to do, but I was sorely lonely, missing him, and tired of being avoided.   

“I’ve got to get back to the range,” he said his jaw line more pronounced and gnawing back and forth. 

I looked back down to my bread and went about my twisting, each piece completely destroyed.  I held back the tears, but if he didn’t leave soon, they would burst.

He didn’t leave.

The hand that moved my bread over and forcibly made me drop it on the table was warm and shaking even more than mine.  I watched his fingers weave into mine like a slow motion button might push to a stop in mid air.  It caused us to be linked until the imaginary someone hit the button to turn the motion back on.  He pushed my hips off the high back stool and twirled me to stand beside him in the same way.

“I’m sorry I’m such an as—I want—“

“Why are you ignoring me?” I blurted out.

He sighed and adjusted my face to see him.  “I just can’t seem to keep you safe no matter what I do.”

The source of all our squabbles.   He’s ignored me yet again because he thinks he failed me.  I’ve got to get better at comforting him every time he
thinks
he let me down.

“Ian, you’ve got to realize that you didn’t let me down in any way.  I mean, look at me,” I motioned down me, “I’m okay.  In one piece.”

“No!  It’s not okay.  I can’t protect you right.” He walked away from me, slamming his fist into the stone, another outlet.  Blood ran down his hand.  I couldn’t ever understand his man anger, but I was the direct result of it. 

I kept the muscles in my face from moving to not send any message of disapproval.  He didn’t need Nurse Grace, he needed my need for his protection and to feel like I have been
well protected
.  He needed guy reassurance like a girl needs faithfulness reassurance.

“I know that the innermost part of your needs to feel like you keep me safe.  I get that Ian.  I don’t need this,” I pointed to his self inflicted wound, “or to ignore me to make yourself feel like you’re giving me time to think bad things about you because you’re getting it all wrong.  I’ve done nothing but miss you and wonder what I did wrong.”

Ian’s mouth opened to object, but I closed it with my finger.  “Obviously we are miscommunicating way too much.  Next time you feel you failed me, I promise to show you how much it is just the opposite.”

“You did nothing wrong,” he leaned his forehead to mine. Never my fault, always his.

  “Then neither did you, so you can get over this being far away from me and trying to keep yourself busy just for the sake of making me feel less of you because it will never happen.”

He smiled in spite of his anger.  He still hadn’t lifted his bloody hand.

“Can I nurse you back to health good sir?” I smiled pecking a small kiss on his lips.

He gave a simple nod. 

Two days passed and the pressure of knowing what Ian plotted for the other court was eating at my nerves.  He was putting everything on the line. 

The summer court backed us one hundred percent since Ian announced his intention to confront the king of the winter court and demand confirmation that he stop attempting to make me their queen without my permission.  The court had been in an uproar at first hurt that I might leave, but soon realized that I was being taken not at my own will.

Unfortunately, this put a damper on how their recent reversal of feelings towards Kin jackknifed backwards and lost its ground.  He was the enemy again no matter how much he might have been helping me.

The days were passing so slow I wanted to scream.  I knew full well what might happen to any of us if King Sane refused the officious lot and a war broke out.  I knew that it was inevitable whether it came verbally or violent.  I knew Ian knew this.  I knew Pike knew this.  I knew Kin knew this.

And if my suspicions weren’t confirmed by my own excessive anxieties, I knew it to be true when Ian ordered Altheon to stay at court and hide Queen Lazyra in her room under house arrest for her safety and the courts.  I wasn’t naive anymore like I was in the past.  Someone had to survive to run the court.

The range was a massive weaponry loading station.  I didn’t even know that Ian had been training some of the youngest of our kind for months in anticipation for this.  Our number of guards had doubled since I’d first come here.  We sat at a very happy number of one hundred fifty guards now.   When I asked, he just kissed my forehead and said all would be fine.  He needed to play protector and I’d promised myself and him I’d conform to his needs in that, so I let him see me smile and move to watch him train. 

The trainings lasted the whole day.  Pike, Bane, Eric, and every other guard I’d known personally were talking in every direction at what to do with this move and what to do when this happened. All one hundred and fifty of them.  I paid attention for one never knows when the moves might come in handy to know even if scared to fight.

I noticed Sarah leaning back against the entrance one morning watching and signaled for her to join me.  We hadn’t talked much since life had taken a turn for the doom and gloom.  We silently observed the sweaty, shirtless men discussing tactics, ambushing, intel gathering, and many more military talk conversations.  As a woman it excited me to sit and watch this many men just move around so huskily and forget at the same instance that they even had an audience.   Sarah giggled every time Bane bent over and he eventually noticed and started to do it on purpose.  Ian was all into it too.  He flexed and held a pose in all the right places for me to ogle and die of the heat it caused in me.

All in all, I was still saddened by the fact that it was centered around saving me.

I leaned into Sarah once and informed her, “I better not see any of this surface in your mind where my man sees you’ve pictured him naked or kissing me in any way.”

“Oh, no way.  That look he gave me said a thousand different ways he would take me out if I knew any more.  I intend to “la la la” you the next time you share any side stories of the two of you sucking face.” 

Her Caylie lingo had grown.  “Deal!  I don’t think Ian could take it hearing or seeing again though he has yet to mention it.”
              “Really?” Sarah asked shocked.

“Waiting for his wrath is sometimes exhausting,” I mumbled, my heart beating fast at the thought of it.  I deal in realities only, remember?  His retaliations on my fly by the seat of my pants decisions were too interesting to ignore, but wore me out nonetheless.  Maybe it was the anticipation of controlling himself with me like I knew he did, but his control was running out.  Maybe I even did some things based on the results it might get me, but somehow Ian always held back.  I cherished his honorable intentions, but I was ready to be married.  His.

“Yeah,” Sarah sighed, “But well worth the wait.”

I plucked her arm with a thump of my thumb, “Behave.”

Sarah giggled and snapped an “ow” at me at the same time.  “Never, that’s just boring.”

I lowered my voice so the men would for sure not hear, “That is not the Sarah I knew when I came here.”

“And you’re not the prudish queen I knew you to be when you came here now are you my little saucy hot for Mr. Shirtless Prince.”

I blushed and laughed enough to ease the moment.  “Either way, I want your confidence.  You are a great friend.”

“It’s all copacetic to me.”

“I’ve got to stop sending you out into the human world.  Your tainted view of the language will skew the Fey into new age lingo.  I can’t imagine what my friend Caylie would do to butcher Spanish or French.”

“Hey! I like her.  She’s really cool.”

I couldn’t help but enjoy my new friend’s acceptance of my old friend.  Sarah’s errands to the human world to snake secret goodies for my husband to be’s newest artwork for his (our) bedroom chamber was going to turn into a tale to tell my children.

I chose to ignore the circumstances surrounding me, forget my troubles, and enjoy what little time I did get with Ian before tomorrow came.  He held me all night, baring no shirt.  The revealing deep V of muscles that I considered mine already, were mine and
mine alone
.  I really wanted a pause button to be able to just stare all.day.long.

After him being away from me for three days and sleeping in my old room, or lack of sleep really, I slept like a baby.

When the morning came, I still wasn’t ready.

Before dawn under a drizzly cloudy sky, Kin was at the edge of the camp dressed in blues and full armored gear like our entire court’s guard, Ian, and Pike.  This was the only wat, Kin said.  The promise to not go in alone or to stay together was taken once again, but the hope was it was the last time.

He had the Nyms ready and armed with weapons galore.  We set off in the wind and rain at a good pace with the intention to break off at a meeting point to sever from Kin and the Nyms and meet again only in battle.  All was a go until I tripped over a tree root as has become my custom and sent myself screaming onto the ground.  I felt silly and well tended to after what the guys did, but at the same freaking time all three of my protector princely dudes came to my aid.     If one could believe in werewolves, one would think at this moment that all males had wolf pack like tendencies by the way their own eyes lit up at just the sight of mine with the protective nature.  I shook my head after being lifted off the ground and checked their eyes again.  Yep!  Affirmative.

They continued to stare checking for injuries under the canopy of trees just like that fateful day back when I’d met Kin in his true form.  Although they were checking me over head to toe, I didn’t feel violated.  Not anymore. Neither of the three had any type of wanting in their eyes, not even Ian.  It was a territorial look and I felt well protected at the moment.  And my foot was fine.

“Don’t get dead.”  I told Ian an hour after the fall and close enough to the winter court we were all a bit jittery but thankful the downpour of rain had subsided.  I did take a little moment in the silence of our walk to practice conjuring the sun.  I was not so hot at it since I didn’t have the foggiest how to do it.  

We were about to part ways, so I made the situation as light as I could.  He knew my quote worthy way of dealing with emotions and replied with, “Okay Neo.  Maybe I’ll meet you on the flip side of heaven.”

I frowned, “What?  No.”

He smiled, but it was still there from before, only bigger.  All in fun.    Man, he was gorgeous when he gave that kind of smile.  It could kill plants on impact if they fell for the swoon worthy smile of my Ian.  Lord knows, I did. 

“Then our bedroom then.  Extreme situations work for others.  Wanna get married?”  Several strands of hair fell across his forehead just like I liked and moved in to touch them. The back of his fingers brushed the warm skin on my cheek.

“Uh, I am so loving this Ian and jumping on your boat and following your white rabbit wherever you want to go.”  Devil Grace was hopping to go.  This other side-plan was not well thought out, but
who cares
!

His same
eternal beautiful sexy, make me all hot and
bothered
smile softened just before his lips smoothly and gently tugged at mine enough to make me fall apart. My emotions let me know what I could do next. 
I love you!

His lips pushed in more. 
I love you too.  God, don’t leave me.
              His hands squeezed my arms.  I didn’t even remember him putting them there.  My every thought was centered on him.

And when my eyes opened, he was gone.

Pike caught my arms as they fell.  Ian was never good at leaving me alone and this wasn’t any different.  “He’ll be back in a few minutes.”

My nod was sufficient. 

We stood stark still for what felt like a century when Ian came back into view visibly taking my first breath since he left me.  Ian registered Pike’s arms around me, holding me up.  He didn’t look threatened or angry, but rather comforted perhaps.  I said perhaps, for I couldn’t read his mind. Pike gently let go sliding me into Ian’s arms.  I slid my eyes up to Pike for the first time since Ian had left.  My smile said the thank you he needed. 

“You’re turn,” he told Pike. 

Pike didn’t have someone to kiss him off to his mission.  I more than ever felt sorry for him.  So what I did next was probably not the smartest move in my history of quick to aid others.

Pike.
  His stride slowed a little, the only acknowledgement I would get. 
Come back safe.  I can’t live without you.

He broke stride and turned back enough to aim his head in my direction. 
Beautiful, you couldn’t keep me away if you tried, but thanks.

He left like Ian and was gone about the same amount of time.  When he returned, I just beamed up at him in reassurance.  I’m sure Ian recognized the display of obvious connection, but he left it as the silent link that it was.

We arrived at the Unseelie winter court before the noon hour with bells and whistles.  Or rather, un-stealthily inviting.  We wanted to appear there just to talk.  We had to assume Kin was really on our side and that he was inside somewhere, waiting.  The weird weather was his doing as a cover-up for showing anger refusing to let the winter court see the sun shine like I liked.  Kin was doing a stellar job of thwarting the sun for our arrival, probably fighting against my poor attempts to release it.  He told me it would make us least expected to come. Just to think that the Fey were in connection to the seasons was phenomenal, but to recently realize that Kin was the Firebearer of the winter court and he had some control of the “winter” was as scary as the fact that I may be the one causing the sun to shine a little longer sometimes and I never knew it.  One being had that control and humans had no clue!

Of course this was why there was ever only one Firebearer between the courts.  To have two would cause friction. 
That’s
an understatement.

We asked permission to enter and have words with the Unseelie king.  After talk back and forth between messengers, the king had been informed we were there and would see us.  I had no doubt that he’d known of our presence long before we arrived either way but it gave him little time to prepare.

We were escorted through the eerie tunnel up to where King Sane kept his stadium sized main hall room.  The memories flooded back from each and every moment with this court.  My shoulders shook, but I managed to hide it.  Ian usually catches everything anyway.

In the open, we faced the devil himself, and his son.  Kin was situated at the head of room with Catrin close by.  It was nice to know he had a heart even at a younger age. Her pretty smile didn't fade as she looked at him without his notice.  I smiled at her giving a small whim to the idea that Kin could be happy one day even if she very we'll could stab him in his sleep.

King Sane welcomed us with the bogus smiles and forged words.  His agenda was well known to every single soul in the room by the way every guard seemed at attention.  And if all the hairs on my neck came up before when he was near, my whole body reacted to him this time.  I was officially freaked out.  I kind of wanted to hide under a rock and wait for the whole thing to blow over and Ian carry me away on the white horse.  So could happen!

“We want to plea a bargain with you,” Ian said demandingly.

“For?” the king boomed out now agitated at be confronted in his own court.

“You leave Grace alone.  We leave your court alive.”

I wasn’t expecting it to be this forceful.

The king deliberated this and actually said, “This bargain won’t suffice my need.”

He wanted me that bad.  Why was I such the prize?  King
In
Sane smiled evilly and even laughed a small amount.

Pike poked my back from behind, “Guard!”  He whispered, not thought it.  I blocked with everything I had.

“You still haven’t ever given her the full disclosure of her worth.  She has no idea what a pot of gold she is.”

I’m not a dang commodity at a state dinner.  When my anger rose, Ian shot his hand to my arm to soothe me and I let him.  I sure needed the cooling effect.

“What the heck am I then?”  My heat hadn’t subsided enough before the words bubbled out.

King Sane laughed heartily this time.  “Telling you gives me nothing.  Ask them.”

I folded my arms in my two victors direction and waited.  Ian and Pike matched their anger to each other.  This farce of a soap opera moment needed to end.

“I’ll tell you,” Kin announced.  The king didn’t look happy with him, but what’s new?

My unhurried turn to face him asked for rapt attention from the room.

“When you are marked, you will have power.”

I interrupted him, “I know this Kin, tell me something new.”  My hand shot to my hip in a forward pose ignoring all the ideas behind it.

The edge of his lip turned up, but disappeared fast when his father growled.  Not a human growl, but beastlike.

“It’s not the power you will hold that has the lot of us after you so wildly.  It’s the power you will give us.”

I knew Ian would gain control of more power, but would that really be so worth kidnapping and waging a war?

Kin let me register that and continued, “That power will make us rule over all others.  Your partner will rule our entire world with no one being above them.”

Dictatorship.  Adolf Hitler anyone?  Taking over the world talk.  Alexander the Great.  This is what he meant.  They were fighting over me not because I was extremely hot and just flat out awesomeness, but because whoever deflowered me held the highest bid for kingdomship.  How sick! 

I held my stomach.  I didn’t eat breakfast, but the nausea welled up inside me regardless.  This time when Ian reached to hold his hand out to me, I looked into his face.  The realization was there.  I knew he knew.  He’d known all along what being with me would do for him.  He’d known for how long?  Since my birth and before I guessed.

Then a new thought hit me all at once.  He knew and he never told me.  He was never the one who wanted me just for that.  If he had, he’d have taken my advances a long time ago and ran with it.  After the many times I’d thrown my half naked self at him hoping he'd take my gift, he knew what a gift it was and never took it.

He knew.

The decision was easy.  I stood up again, all thoughts of vomit lost in the pride and admiration I felt for this one man.  He loved me for me, not what I represented or could attain for him.

“Do we have a bargain?” I turned my cold, hard eyes to the king.  It had been a while since I’d hated someone so much.  The kids back in school calling me freak and waiting for me to react.  The hate I felt for Lazyra for treating her son the way she did.  This emotion was more powerful than any other. 

“No!” he simply said.

“Then we solve the only other way we know how.” I said with a vile measured tone.  I’d forgotten to keep my trap shut like we planned.

Already assessing the exact number of guards in the room being six, I unsheathed my dagger and readied my stance.  “We fight.”  I had told Ian I never wanted to fight again.  And I didn’t.  This would be my first and last time however that outcome would come to pass at my choosing. I didn't follow protocol, but when had I ever before?

Ian immediately shielded me from all.  I followed the first initial “last resort” plan and released my block sending out the message to our guard “army” standing hidden around the court.  Orchestrated by Pike, they were well hidden.  Backed by Kin, we were secure.   We hoped.

The army of guards were charging the doors when I heard Pike grunt out a thrust into the two blue guards that had attacked him.  Both winter court guards went down.  Dead.

My head spun a little as I closed my eyes to bring myself into control.  It might have escaped Ian earlier, but not this time.  Slowly  hurdling me to the exit with All of the six guards downed by Pike by now, I was amazed by his fighting abilities.  Wowed, actually. 

More winter guards arrived though.  And so did ours.

Ian stepped out to take one down that hadn’t gotten close.  I kept my unsteadily dagger at the ready and didn’t have to wait long to use it.  Replaying all the moves in my brain that I’d seen at the range the day before, self defense with Ian, and plain common sense I readied for the huge barbarian man who was coming at me from the opposite direction of Ian.

I reached out with my shiny dagger hoping the intimidating barbarian man wouldn’t be able to pick up just how afraid I was inside.  The guy laughed at me watching my weapon.  If I remained to look like the scared kitten he would doubt my abilities and mess up.  

When barbarian caveman thrust his sword at me I sidestepped my slight frame away from Ian and into the enemy’s hip and stabbed him straight through the gut.  His shock was evident as his sword dropped beside us.  I knew if I’d been a man he’d have not dropped the sword and would have easily killed me still, but my weak appearance is what saved me. He hit the floor without a glance at Ian who was far from happy with me but awed nonetheless. 

“Not the smartest move on your part!”

“Oh, says the guy with the sharp pointy dagger who isn’t near as intimidated by big hairy dudes!” I snarked at Pike who appeared on my other side where the dead guy lie.  He pocketed his own dagger, held two swords, a bow and quiver of arrows across his back, and I knew for a fact that there were at least five or six more hidden across his body.  I glanced around searching for Ian who shoved me into Pike and took care of a few more.  He was watching me with one eye and fighting with the other.  I watched him for the few withering seconds while Pike stood guard over me feeling like they were taking turns.