Betrayal (12 page)

A single ray of sunshine slices through my blinds, hitting my eyelids with enough force to wake me with a headache.  As I roll out of the way and pull a blanket over my head to cower in darkness, it takes me a moment to remember why I’m acting like a vampire.  Three bottles of Chardonnay would bring even a seasoned drinker to her knees, and although I was splitting them with Evelyn, I know I drank more than she did.  I was the one hurting from Chase, and then reeling from Eve’s news. 

Chicago.  That was an eight hour drive.  Almost two hours by plane.  I’d probably hardly see her anymore.  I have no money for plane tickets, and no car of my own. 

Her news is upsetting, but I can’t be angry with her.  If anything, I feel guilty that I didn’t call her back days ago to hear her news, and when I finally did hear it my first thought was about how her move would negatively affect
my
life.  It means finding a new roommate.  One that likely won’t be so forgiving when I miss a rent payment. 

Still, it’s a selfish thought and I’m as quick to push it out of my mind as I was to let it in.  But the news was yet another reason why I kept drinking long after I know I should have stopped, and now I’m paying the price.

I drag myself into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.  Evelyn is already at the table, doing something on her phone and she looks up at me.  I can tell by her eyes she’s feeling almost as bad as I am.

“Good afternoon.  You look as shitty as I feel,” she says.

“Afternoon?  What time is it?”

“Almost one.  Good thing it’s Sunday.  No way I could drag my ass into the office feeling like this.”

I haven’t slept past noon since college.  Then again, I haven’t had a night of drinking like that since then either.  I pour myself a cup of coffee, thankful that Evelyn, at least, got up early enough to already make some.

“So, you’re leaving for Chicago next week?”  I sit down at the table next to her.  My memory is mostly intact from last night but some of the details are a bit hazy.

“I’m working here until Thursday but mostly I’m just packing things up and transitioning to the other EA they hired to take my place here in the Toronto office.  My flight is on Saturday.  That’ll give me some time to settle in and unpack.  Friday I’ll be home as they have some movers coming to pick up my stuff and meet me here.  So I have to be packed by then.”  She looks around.  Even in the kitchen, most of the stuff is hers.  “I haven’t even started yet.”

“I can help,” I say.  “Not like I have anything else to do, aside from sending out resumes.”

Evelyn puts her hand on mine and gives me a little squeeze.  “The rent is paid up for this month, and we’ve already paid for our last month which would cover next month if you aren’t going to stay.”

I smile at her, appreciating the gesture.  There’s no point in arguing with her about it, I know she doesn’t want the money back.  “I haven’t really decided what I’m going to do.”

“I know, this comes out of left field, I’m sorry Lila.”

“No, it’s a great opportunity for you.  Executive Assistant to the CEO of a billion dollar company?  Who the hell would turn that down?”

“I know,” she nods.  “I’ve met Mr. Stonewall a few times, he seems a bit harsh to some people but he’s always been very pleasant to me.”

I watch my best friend’s face for a second.  There’s a look there that I recognize.  “He’s hot, isn’t he?”

She giggles and turns a slight shade of pink as she stares down at her coffee.  “He’s no Chase Anderson,” she admits with a shrug, “but he is tall, dark and pretty handsome, yes.”

“Well, I’m really happy for you Eve, I mean it.”  I do.  It’s great for Evelyn.  I’m just not sure what it means for me.

* * *

“I got a call from Harrison today,” I say as I scoop a large ladle full of spaghetti onto Evelyn’s plate.  I figure the least I can do for her is cook dinners while I’m home all day and she’s at work.  Yesterday I made chicken parm and today is pasta.  It’s only Tuesday but I’m already worried about running out of recipes before she leaves, which is why I made enough tonight to have leftovers for tomorrow.

“I’m surprised it took him this long,” she says. 

“I think it took a couple days for the news of my return to filter out to him.”

“Did he ask you to get together?”

“Of course.”

“You aren’t, are you?”

“Of course not.”

“Good.  Does he know about Chase?”

I pause and purse my lips.  It’s a question I’ve been pondering myself lately, not that it matters.  “I don’t think so.  I mean, not specifically.  I think he does suspect I met someone out there.  He was asking me all sorts of questions about what I was doing in Vegas this long, he knows I don’t gamble or really have the money to pay for a week in a hotel.  I just avoided most of the questions and told him I needed time out there to think.  Not sure he bought it, but whatever.  If he can lie, so can I.”

“Well, like you said the other day, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.  I think that’s one of those universal rules.  People can’t ask you about it and expect the truth.”

I agree with a laugh as I shovel more pasta into my mouth.  It feels good to be home, with Evelyn.  It’s comfortable.  Unfortunately, that comfort has an expiration date and it’s coming up quickly.

I wash down the pasta with some water.  Both of us have sworn off wine for the time being.   “So what’s the plan for tonight?”

I’d promised to help her start packing tonight, anxious for anything I can use as a distraction.  Any time I have a free moment, her words from the other night echo through my head.  It’s true.  Not all lies are equal, and I don’t have to judge them as such.  Evelyn clearly thinks I was blowing things out of proportion, and I fear she might be right.  What if she was?  What if I made a huge mistake in leaving.  It’s a thought I have no interest in dealing with right now, so much so that helping her pack seems like a fantastic alternative.

“I think we have to tackle my closet first.”

I make a sound with my throat and Evelyn counters with a glare that I know is just a tease.  “It’s not that bad.”

“Really?  Did you have a team of organizers work on it while I was in Vegas?”  Evelyn has the master suite of our apartment and her closet is a walk in.  Last I saw it, it was a disaster.  Packed so full of clothes and shoes and who knows what else that she could barely squeeze her thin frame through the door to get anything.

“Shut up, you offered to help.”  She sticks her tongue out at me right before finishing the last bit of pasta in her bowl.

“I know I did, but I forgot what I was getting myself into.”

“Too late,” she laughs.  “You’re committed.” 

I open my mouth for another reply but I’m interrupted by a knock at the door.  Evelyn leaves to answer it, turning the corner of the hallway as I finish the last of my supper.  I hear voices and a weird sound from Evelyn before she comes back around the corner.  The look on her face is wide eyed and she’s biting her lip.

“What?” I ask.  “Who was it?”

“It looks like Vegas didn’t stay in Vegas,” she replies as Chase Anderson follows her into our dining room, a familiar half smile creeping onto his lips as soon as he sees me.

“How the hell did you find me?”  My anger at Chase has dissipated a bit, but this is still a big surprise.  I hadn’t expected to see him again so soon.  Or ever, really.

The smile fades from his lips and he lifts a rose he’s holding, tilting it toward me.  I hadn’t even noticed it until now.  He ignores my question and surprise.  “I couldn’t let you go like that, Lila.  I can’t stop thinking about you and I needed to see you again.  Can we please talk?”

I stare at the rose that he’s still holding.  It’s red and perfect.  I don’t know what to say, though.  Evelyn finally breaks the silence by clearing her throat to remind me that she’s still standing there.

“Oh, right, Chase, this is my roommate Evelyn Silver.  Evelyn, meet Chase Anderson.”

I’m pretty sure that Evelyn is actively trying to keep the drool in her mouth as she shakes Chase’s hand and acts like a total fan girl, letting him know how she’s seen him on television and how he’s such a fantastic player.  Chase is very kind in return, but barely takes his eyes off of me as he speaks to her.  I don’t think she notices though, as she turns to me with a huge grin.

“So um, I guess I’ll let you two talk for a bit.  I’ll go… uh, start on my closet.  In my room.”  She gives one last fleeting glance at Chase and then leaves us alone. 

“Why are you here?” I ask.  I’m ignoring the rose, although I do think the gesture is sweet, particularly since he only brought a single flower.  I think a whole bouquet is cliché.  A single rose is much classier and meaningful.  It makes it harder to stay mad but, even still, a flower isn’t going to make up for lies and betrayal.

“I’m serious, Lila.  I haven’t stopped thinking about you since you left.  I wanted to come sooner, but I thought I should give you some time.  And I wanted to finish things with the house.”

“The house that we were trespassing in, you mean?  The house that you told me you owned so that I would be a party to your break and enter thrill ride?”

“Lila, please.  It wasn’t break and enter.  Each time we went I had Denise clear the time with the owners for a walk through.  The only part that was disingenuous was that she was supposed to be with us on all of them.  Make sure we didn’t break or steal anything.  Obviously that wasn’t my intention.”

“Oh really?  That’s the
only
part you were disingenuous about?”

“To them.  To you, you’re right, I shouldn’t have claimed I owned the house in the first place.  I regret that.  I just felt like your feelings about poker players being degenerate gamblers would have been justified if you thought I just lived in a hotel.  I was trying to impress you.  At first because I wanted to prove to you that I was more than that, that I was stable, but then when things got more serious I didn’t know how to come clean.  I should have just told you the truth.”

“You’re right, you should have,” I reply, but a lot of the fire has left my voice.  “But that wasn’t even the biggest issue, Chase.  You were sneaking around with Denise.  I get that it’s because she is your agent now, but she’s also your ex-girlfriend and a complete bitch who still thinks you’re going to get back together with her one day.  The fact that you were spending time with
her…
behind my back… that hurt more than the issue with the house.”

Chase sighs and rolls his eyes.  “I know.  I’m sorry.  You’re right.  And I didn’t get that at the time, but I should have.  I do now.  I’ve already told her that as soon as everything with the house is wrapped up that it is best if she and I don’t speak anymore.”

“Really?”  I’m surprised.  “How did she take that?”

He shrugs, his lip curling up a bit in his familiar grin.  “About like you expect.  I don’t think she believes I’m serious, but I promise you that I am.  As soon as the house closes I’ll even get a new phone number.  I’m done with her.  You were right about her, I just didn’t see it.”

“Why do you now?”

“She admitted that she was goading you, trying to piss you off.  She said she was just trying to help, because she didn’t think you were
right for me
.  I know that’s bullshit.  Whether it’s because she wants to get back together or that she’s jealous of you, or just that she’s a complete bitch, I don’t know, but enough is enough.”

I take a deep breath and turn slightly from him, looking at the dinner table with our empty plates and a bowl still filled with pasta.  I’m relieved that he finally sees Denise for who she really is, and it’s hard to stay mad at him.  I don’t
want
to be mad at him.  “You hungry?”

“Starving.”

“I’ll get you a plate.  Sit down.”  I pluck the rose from his hand as I pass him on my way to the kitchen.  No sense letting it die just because I still don’t know what to do with the famous blond poker playing hunk that’s standing in my dining room.  I don’t have any vases, so I put it into one of the empty wine bottles from the other night which are still sitting on our counter. 

“It’s a good thing I made extra,” I say as I come back with his plate and start heaping it on.  I’m just talking now, and I know it, trying to avoid saying anything of substance because I have no idea what to say.  Chase is sitting in Evelyn’s seat, but suddenly his hand reaches out and closes on mine.  It’s warm, firm, and insistent.

“Lila,” he says softly.

“Chase,” I reply, slowly shaking my head.  I’m not sure what I’m still objecting to, though.  His touch has sent sparks through my body.  I’ve missed him more than I’ve wanted to admit, even to myself.  It’s taken seeing him again to realize just how much.

“The whole thing with the house, initially, was to prove something.”  His voice is soft, just above a whisper, and I stand very still next to him as I listen.  His hand is still holding onto mine and I have no intention of trying to break contact.  “At first it was to prove something to you - that I wasn’t who you thought I was.  That there was more to Chase Anderson than some famous poker player who lived his life out of a suitcase and moved from game to game.  But since then I have come to realize that, in fact, for the last few years that’s actually what my life has become.  I’ve been living for the moment, fearful of settling down because I thought I’d get bored.  But after I met you, I realized something.”  His grip tightens, pulling me toward him as he stands and my gaze finally raises to meet his.  His blue eyes seem deeper than normal, like an ocean with a tide that is drawing me in to try and drown me in its depths.

“What?”

“I realized that I wasn’t scared of being bored.  I was scared of being alone.  I’ve never even considered that before you came along, because it was never true until that moment.  In the past, people would come and go from my life and it wouldn’t even affect me.  But as soon as you left, it became obvious why.  I hadn’t ever met anyone I felt this strongly about before.  I knew I didn’t want you to leave, but it wasn’t until you did that I realized just how much I really needed you to stay.  My life has been empty before you, Lila.  And I never even realized it.”

“So you want me back because you don’t want to be lonely?”

His eyes get even more blue somehow, but then I realize it’s just a reflection of the light.  Light that is bouncing off the moisture that is pooling along it’s rims.

“No,” he breathes.  “I want you back because I love you.”