Betrayal (41 page)

“Alex, just love us. That’s all.”

“I do.”

“Then, stop this,” Cassidy said softly.

“I trusted him, Cass. I loved him like a…”

“And he loved you.”

Alex shook her head. “He lied to me.”

“Maybe he did, Alex. Doesn’t mean he didn’t love you.”

“He put us all at risk. Even if he didn’t intend…I won’t do that to our family.”

Cassidy sighed. “When did you decide this? This quitting?”

“While I was watching Dylan.”

“And, you think you can just let all this go?” Alex stared blankly at her lover. “Mm-hum…that’s what I thought. Alex, that is not in your nature.” She kissed the agent and smiled.

Alex took a deep breath and let it out as Cassidy closed her eyes and leaned into the agent’s embrace. “Cass?”

“Yeah?”

“I blamed myself.” Alex swallowed hard.

“I know.”

“That day…”

Alex’s body began to shake and Cassidy pulled her to the bed to sit. She had grown familiar with Alex’s nightmares but the agent had never truly explained what happened in any detail. “Go on,” Cassidy said gently.

“There was this family…I….well, I worked with their daughter, teaching the young people English; you know?” Cassidy encouraged Alex with a smile. “Awad, he owned this bookstore. Sabeen and I, we would teach the children there.” Alex stopped. “There were always people in and out, so many people.” The agent closed her eyes as the memories flooded her consciousness. “It’s mostly outside, you know…the marketplace. I was so focused on Sabeen and the…”

“Alex…”

“I was…too focused on her and the kids. I wasn’t paying attention. I thought John wanted me there to help….Awad, he got shipments. They ran a small clinic out back three days a
week. I helped carry them, Cass. So many times. I helped carry them that morning. I thought they were books and medical supplies…I thought….”

Cassidy closed her eyes with a new and painful understanding. It was beginning to make sense to her now. Alex suspected that she had unknowingly carried the very materials that were used in the attack that injured her. Now, there was the possibility that John Merrow might have had a hand in all of it. “Alex, you couldn’t have known.”

“No, Cass. I should have known. I was too busy paying attention to Sabeen. Don’t you understand? I didn’t pay attention to John; where he was going, who he was meeting with. I didn’t pay attention to Awad.” Alex rubbed her face with force. “Twenty people died, Cassidy. Twenty. Three of my best friends, eight children and Sabeen. Sabeen triggered it…He threw her out. She was the trigger. His own daughter. I never saw it coming until that moment…not any of it.”

Alex’s body began to shake noticeably and Cassidy pulled her close. “Alex, I’m so sorry.”

“What if I am so busy looking at you that I miss it? That you and Dylan…that I don’t see Krause or Taylor? Or Jesus…who knows? For who they really are.”

“Alex, you are not a twenty something naïve girl.” Alex looked at Cassidy in amazement. “Well?” Cassidy continued. “You loved this girl?”

“That was….I thought….”

“Alex, we both have a past. You loved her?” Alex nodded. “And you think that blinded you?” Alex didn’t answer. “Maybe it did.” The agent looked back to Cassidy who smiled. “Love does that sometimes. It makes us see the best in people. It makes us hopeful.”

Alex shook her head. “Don’t you understand? John, it just makes it worse…it’s my fault.”

“No. It isn’t.” Cassidy laid back and guided Alex to her chest. “Alex, I loved Chris once. I didn’t know who he was. I
saw what I wanted to see. Maybe I saw what I needed to see. Do you think it’s my fault that Carl Fisher did what he did? Do you blame me for Chris shooting you?”

“Of course not.”

“You loved someone. You trusted them. You are not responsible for what they did. The only thing you are guilty of, Alex, is loving; that’s all.”

“I can’t lose you, Cass.”

“You’re not going to lose me, Alex. It’s different now, for both of us.”

“What do you mean?” Alex asked.

“The way I love you; it doesn’t close my eyes. It opens them.”

Alex propped herself up and looked at her lover. “I just want to keep you safe.”

“You do.”

Alex’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I promise you…”

“You don’t need to make me any promises. I already know.”

Alex closed her eyes and let Cassidy hold her, much as she did after a nightmare. Her mind was racing. There was little doubt in the agent’s mind that following this trail would be dangerous, for all of them. John Merrow was her best friend. He was Dylan’s father. In so many ways, he had been and was her family. Alex struggled to reconcile what she knew had to be the truth and what she felt in her heart. She contemplated everything Cassidy had said. It was one of the things Alex loved and admired most in the woman lying beside her; Cassidy was thoughtful, compassionate, and honest. She had the type of intelligence that no one can teach; the kind that comes from the heart. Throughout the entire day the agent had only one thing on her mind, protecting the family she now had. It was something she had never dreamed possible. In these last days, seeing her mother embrace Dylan, watching Nick chase Cat, drinking coffee with Rose, and now holding onto Cassidy; she realized how much her life had changed. Her mother had told her she couldn’t run anymore. Now, after hearing Cassidy’s
words, it suddenly all seemed to make sense. Cassidy was right. She couldn’t quit. She couldn’t run. Her eyes had been opened like never before and what had opened them was her love for the woman beside her.

“Cass?”

“Hum?”

“How do you feel about vanilla cake?”

Cassidy smiled and kissed the agent’s head. “I like it.”

“I know. I think maybe we should have one.”

The teacher chuckled, amused by the shift in Alex’s train of thought. “Is that right?”

For Alex, it made perfect sense. She was never good at being direct with personal requests. Vanilla cake was the best way she could think to convey that she wanted to spend her life with Cassidy. “Yeah, unless you don’t want to.”

“Actually, Alex, I don’t think there is anything I would like more than to share vanilla cake with you.”

“Good. Maybe we can talk about it tomorrow.”

“Does that mean you are not quitting anything?” Cassidy questioned.

The agent snuggled closer. “No, but I do think it is time for new beginnings.”

“Every day is a new beginning with you.”

“I love you, you know, Cassidy?”

“I know you do, Alex. I love you too. I just hope you don’t get disappointed in the
boring
stuff you keep looking forward to.”

“Cass, life with you will never be boring.”

Cassidy laughed. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should.”

“Get some sleep, love.”

“Thanks, Cass.”

“I have no idea what you are thanking me for.”

“Vanilla cake.”

“I’m not baking it,” Cassidy said plainly.

Alex chuckled as her eyes grew heavier. “Well, you know… we…”

Cassidy shifted and kissed the agent’s forehead. “Go to sleep, Alfred.”

Alex smiled and let her eyes fall shut. For the first time in many days she looked forward to her dreams knowing they would be filled tonight with images of a school teacher and a little boy, and maybe a little vanilla cake.

oles, are you sure?” Jon Krause asked through the phone.

“Yeah, I am,” she said.

“It makes sense.”

“Krause, was he? CIA, I mean.”

“Agent Toles, the agency is a strange place. There are webs within webs. It doesn’t matter what his designation was, really. If you are asking me if he was taking orders outside of ASOW, then yes, I’m certain that was so. Anything on SPHINX specifically stand out to you?”

“No. But WASHTUB was mentioned in those documents more than once.”

Krause sighed. “Historically?” he asked.

“I don’t think it was a historical reference,” Alex offered. “I suppose it’s possible. I pegged it as a laundering operation.” A lingering silence ensued as Alex stepped onto the back patio. “Krause? What are you thinking?”

“What if it was a historical reference?”

“That would be a relief, I guess.”

“Would it?” Krause asked. “Toles, what if WASHTUB was part of SPHINX?”

“Well, that’s why I figured it was a convenient…”

“No, Agent. What if WASHTUB was part of SPHINX?”

“WASHTUB was over fifty years ago.” Krause did not answer. “Krause, operations don’t last fifty years.” The silence continued. “Do you realize what you are suggesting?” she asked.

“Yeah, I do and I suspect that you already had that suspicion yourself.”

“Krause, who exactly is Admiral Brackett?”

“That’s a very good question, Agent Toles. He’s simply The Admiral. FBI, ATF, CIA, NSA, DOD, and USSS; he can pull strings just about anywhere. He knows the alliances and he keeps that very close to the vest. I need you to talk to Matthews. What I can tell you is that there is a massive Russian influence in all of this. The congressman’s accident, John’s,” he took a moment and continued. “Moving merchandise has been my job for years. Making certain it arrives at its destination, ensuring the funds follow accordingly, whatever that means. My field work has been largely limited to business transactions.”

Alex interrupted. “Matthews mentioned ASA after John’s funeral.”

“ASA isn’t the only interest. What did Matthews say?”

“Something about weapons and Corsica, and thinking John might have tried to prevent something. Maybe he wasn’t preventing at all.”

“Or maybe he was. Guess it was inevitable we both ended up in France,” Krause chuckled uncomfortably. “There are things we need to discuss when I get back. If you don’t hear for me...”

“Be careful,” Alex cautioned.

“You almost sound like you care, Agent Toles.”

Alex sighed. “Cassidy does.” There was no response. “There’s been enough loss for her…I don’t…”

“Deal with the ambassador,” he said. “I have a feeling he may know more than he is actually telling you. Given your suspicions about John…”

“You think Ambassador Matthews is CIA, don’t you?” Cassidy asked. The silence gave her the answer. “Jesus, Krause.”

“Not uncommon, Agent. I will look for clarification on the point, but yes.”

“What is? Uncommon, I mean?” she tried not to chuckle at the absurdity in the conversation.

“I’m headed out of the country,” Krause explained. “Talk to Matthews. He would not be the first operative placed as a diplomat, believe me.”

“Yeah, I do believe you. That’s what worries me.”

“I’ll contact you when I can, Agent. Just be safe.” “

Yeah. Krause?”

“What?”

“Watch your back. I’d hate you to get caught in one of those webs,” Alex said.