Betrayal (55 page)

             
“Ah,” Henry said, “here’s our Jan. We’ll have our tea and have a catch-up afterwards shall we?”

             
Lydia nodded numbly, relieved not to have to explain the regression and Alan’s presence to Dan just yet.             

***

              Alan watched with dismay as Lydia embraced Dan.  He felt eclipsed by the excitement at Dan’s arrival. Alan’s pale eyes clouded with pain as Henry moved forward to shake Dan’s hand and welcome him to Morely’s Cross.

             
Even Jan seemed excited to see Dan, chattering that she would bake an apple crumble for dessert or would he prefer a sticky toffee, or perhaps something else?

             
Alan stepped back, forgotten by the happy gathering. He paused in the doorway hoping that Lydia would call him back, but she didn’t.

             
He climbed the stairs slowly, feeling more an outsider with every step. He heard Ella call out as he passed her room.  Opening the door he said, “Ella, it’s me Alan. May I be of assistance?”

             
“Alan,” she replied, somewhat flustered to find him standing in her doorway. “I thought you were Jan.”

             
“She’s downstairs. Do you want me to get her?”

             
“No,” Ella said quietly, “fuss and bother.  I just wanted my pillows fluffed and a drink of water. I don’t want to bother you; I’ll wait until she comes up.”

             
“It’s no bother,” Alan said crossing to the high Georgian four-poster bed. “My grandmother used to say I had a master’s touch when it came to fluffing feather pillows. Now lean forward a bit. There now, just stay like that a moment,” he continued, reaching for her pillows.

             
“What’s all that noise?” Ella asked settling back on her pillows.

             
The low rays of the winter sun reflected the trees stark beauty in the still pond beyond Ella’s bedroom window.  Alan frowned as he turned from Ella.

             
“Alan, what is wrong?” she asked quietly.

             
“Nothing,” he said, suddenly aware that she had seen his frown.

             
“Something I think,” the old woman said mildly.  “Here sit down,” she said patting the bed. “He has come hasn’t he?”

             
Alan’s head shot up.

             
“I’m right aren’t I? Dan has come from Canada at last.”

             
“Yes,” Alan replied mumbling, then turning to look directly at Ella he continued, “I think I should return to the hotel in Totnes, now, tonight, before it gets much later.”

             
“Strange, I never took you for a coward, Dr. Stokes,” Ella said quietly as she shifted her blanket a bit.

             
He gave her a pained look, grimaced, and turned to stand up.

             
Ella grabbed his arm holding him fast.  “I don’t know the man downstairs, it is true, but I have seen how Lydia looks at you. If you run away now, you will regret it, of that I am sure.”

             
Alan sat there undecided.  He was about to speak when Henry came into the room.  He stood up abruptly and walked to the window.

             
“How are you, old girl?” Henry asked solicitously as he leaned over the side of the bed to kiss her withered cheek.  “You will never guess who is downstairs,” he said proudly.             

“Doctor Taylor has come at last has he?’ Ella asked sharply.

              “But how did you know, old thing? Oh, Alan, I didn’t see you standing there. Yes he is come at last. Lydia is so happy to see him.  And Jan is all aflutter over dessert. Such a madhouse down there, I had to escape up here,” Henry continued as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

             
Ella watched in dismay as Alan quietly left the room. She would have to speak with Henry soon about Alan’s feelings for their niece, but now wasn’t the time.

***

             
Alan heard his name mentioned as he closed the door on the loving scene behind him, but he didn’t turn back as he left Ella’s bedroom. He walked to his room in measured steps. Once inside he crossed to the window overlooking the small church of All Saints. “I know you are there, Elisabeth. Will you not speak to me as you do to Lydia?” he whispered as he laid his hands on the window trim and leaned into the cold window glass.  He waited a moment, foolishly hoping to hear Elisabeth’s distinctly provincial voice, but all was silence.

             
Frustrated, Alan turned back to face the bed. He saw his suitcase resting open on the deacon’s bench and moved towards it.  It was time to go. He didn’t belong here. He felt deflated as he moved slowly to the 18
th
century mahogany tallboy dresser for his underwear. He had a pile of shorts and tees in his hands when he heard a knock on his door. He paused mid-step pondering not answering when the knock came again.

             
“Come in,” he said quietly as he moved to his suitcase and dropped the clothes in.

             
“Alan,” Lydia said surprised to see him packing. “What are you doing?”

             
“I’m going back to Totnes.”

             
“When?”

             
“Tonight!” he said forcefully.

             
“But why?” Lydia asked, surprised.

Alan saw her pale drawn face and felt a moment’s hesitation. Perhaps he was being foolish to run away.
             

When he didn’t respond Lydia went on nervously.  “Dan is so tired. He had so much trouble finding a locum to cover his patients. He says he hasn’t slept well for days.”

              Alan nodded numbly and returned to his packing.

             
“Do you have to go, Alan?” Lydia asked her voice cracking.

             
“I think it’s for the best. I really should be thinking about getting back to Saint John, classes will be starting soon,” he answered, his back still turned to her. He didn’t see the tears in her eyes.

             
“What about Elisabeth?” she cried.

             
“What about her?”

             
“Alan,” Lydia sobbed, “without you I can’t hope to learn more about her.”

             
“Maybe you’ve learned enough. It is hopeless to try and learn more.”

             
Lydia ran from the room.  Alan turned at her step on the stairs regretting his cold behavior.

             
Impulsively he left his room and going down by the backstairs he crossed the garden to the churchyard.  He passed through the lych-gate, turned, and stood gazing back at the house.  The old Norman sanctuary held the cold of the blustery January day, its stone walls etched with shimmering crystals. The Christmas flowers of poinsettia and mistletoe lay wilting in the frozen quiet.

             
Alan moved to a pew, pulled down the kneeling pad, and sank to his knees.

“What do I do?” he asked aloud.  “How can I leave her?  How can I go back to Canada now? I love her. How am I supposed to live without her?”  He tilted his head to look at the figure of a dove flying above the Risen Christ in the stained glass behind the altar, his heart imploring God to direct his actions, to tell him what to do. But God remained silent. He prayed silently, then standing up, he bent to brush some lint from his flannel trousers he was surprised to find Lydia sitting in the pew behind him. Alan paled when he saw her. ‘What had he said aloud?  Had she heard him?’ Alan searched his mind in desperation.

“How long have you been there?” he asked his heart beating a rapid tattoo in his chest.

“Long enough,” Lydia answered quietly.

“Long enough,” Alan repeated.  “What do you mean?”

“I have been here long enough, to realize that you really have fallen in love with me,” Lydia said turning to leave the church.

He chased after her. He pulled her into his arms pressing her to his heart.

“No,” Lydia said pushing away from him.

“You must know how much I love you,” Alan said releasing her from his grasp. “I thought you felt the same way. I know that you love me, Lydia. Tell me that you do.”

            “Don’t ask me that!” Lydia cried.

              “But I must. I must know how you feel about me.”

             
“How can I tell you when I don’t know myself?”

             
Alan frowned.  He felt his way back into a pew and sat down.  “I guess I’ve made a fool of myself.  It’s time I went back to Canada.”

             
“No, Alan, don’t go. I need you!”

             
“How can I possibly stay?  Now that Dan is here, how can I see you in his arms, watch him kiss you without going out of my mind? No, it’s best for me to go back to Totnes now.”

             
“Alan, please don’t go!” Lydia begged sitting down beside him. She took his hand holding it to her breast she pleaded with him to stay.

             
His heart melted by her tears, Alan knew he could not leave her.  “I’ll stay until we find some reference to Elisabeth here. If we do not, then I will have to return to Saint John.”

Lydia let go of his hand.  “Please don’t go, Alan, not yet.”

Alan nodded his head. Standing he urged her to return to manor house. They walked back in silence.

             
                                                        ***

             
Dan stood in the upstairs window watching Lydia and Alan coming across

the lawn
. He grimaced as he recognized the look on Alan’s face. He is in love with her

.  Dan
felt his teeth grind as his mouth hardened.  He prepared himself to confront Alan. He thought of the all the times he had been aware of Alan’s rising interest in Lydia and had ignored it.  His mind raced as he wondered if she had been unfaithful.  “No,” he said aloud.  Lydia is not that type of person, but what if she was tempted?   Dan criticized himself for his reluctance to be supportive of her insane dreams. Had his disinterest driven her into another man’s arms?

             
Should he challenge Alan for Lydia’s hand? Dan grimaced that sounded like something out of a fairytale or a silly romance.  No, he would have to keep his cool and see how the day played out.

             
Lydia’s cousin Christine’s arrival distracted all of them.  The family gathered in the lounge to hear Christine’s news.  Dan found himself staring at the pretty redhead.  He hadn’t been paying attention to the conversation so he was surprised to hear Henry curse. Hurriedly he searched the faces in the room for a clue of what had happened.  When Christine spoke up, he breathed a sigh of relief no one had noticed his inattention.

             
                                                                      ***

              “It’s all right, Uncle Henry, I knew it was coming. I have been expecting to be sacked for weeks.  We all knew the new hospice in Paignton was nearing completion and that when our ten patients in Torquay were transferred we’d be out of a job.  I really should have been looking for another job, but with only two of us nurses working there, well I just couldn’t.” Christine frowned.

             
“Isn’t there a chance you could be taken on at the Paignton facility?” Ella asked.

             
Christine shook her head.  “I guess, I’ll have to go up to London.  There are always lots of jobs for RN’s there.”

             
Henry was crestfallen. He moved to sit on the arm of Ella’s chair. He took her fragile hand squeezing it gently.

             
Dan stood behind the sofa, his hand resting on Lydia’s shoulder.  He leaned forward to whisper, “Isn’t she married?”

             
Lydia whispered back, “No, divorced.”

             
Alan turned to look at Lydia, she blushed and Dan tightened his grip on her shoulder.

             
“Michael called today,” Christine said. She paused to see her Uncle’s reaction to the mention of her ex-husband.  “He had heard of the hospice’s closure and was wondering if I’d be coming back to London?”

             
Henry cleared his throat to speak but Ella silenced him with a look. The room was quiet except for the steady ticking of the mantle clock.

             
“I think you should know, Uncle Henry, Michael and I have been seeing each other over the past few months.  I think we are going to get back together, not get married right away, but to date, to get to know each other again.  I love him, I always have. Please don’t be angry,” she said reaching for Henry’s hand.

             
“Angry?” Henry said.  “I’m not sure what I feel at this news, but it’s not anger.”

             
“Oh dear,” Ella said. “Will you be leaving Devon soon?”

             
“No, the Paignton facility is opening March 1
st
.  Our patients are scheduled to be transferred by March 15
th.
I won’t be leaving until then. Although I expect I will be going to London to see Michael, perhaps next weekend.  Besides I’ve only just met my cousin and I don’t want to leave without getting to know her.” Christine smiled as she looked across at Lydia.

             
Lydia smiled back. She felt Dan’s hand on her shoulder. She glanced at Alan to see the studied grimace on his face as he loaded his pipe.  When he had finished, he excused himself to go outside for a smoke.  Lydia watched him go unsure of her true feelings for him.

             
Ella stood to embrace Christine and the two women left the room.  Henry wandered over to the window to look out over the frozen garden.

             
Dan sat down next to Lydia.  “What was happening when I arrived earlier? Were you hypnotized?  You seemed to be talking to a person named James; who was he?”

             
Lydia struggled to decide which question to answer first. They were interrupted when Alan came back into the room.

             
“It’s raining out,” he said simply as he turned toward the stairs and his room.

                                                                                    ***

              Jan invited Dan into the manor’s elegant dining room where he waited for her to return with a late lunch for him. As Dan looked around he felt his jaw drop at the reserved opulence of the large room. Raising his head he gazed at the ornamental ceiling which was composed of ribbed plaster squares decorated at each corner with trailing vines and fleur-de-lis while the white panels were filled with twisted knots and Tudor-style rosettes.

             
He turned his gaze to the six high windows which held patterns of leaded glass in diamond-latticed shaped panes overlooking the estate’s small Italian garden with its Roman style statuary. Turning back to the large fireplace he was admiring the paneling when Christine entered the room.