Betrayals (3 page)

Excitement rose in me so quickly that it probably would have knocked me over if I’d been standing. I’d forgotten all about that business of telling ourselves not to obey, and it made an enormous difference. If one of the man’s commands hadn’t worked, the other shouldn’t have worked either. I wasn’t permanently cut off from my talent, even if I hadn’t been able to detect the power at all….

With that thought I’d automatically reached out again, the way someone newly paralyzed probably tried without thinking to stand and walk. The only difference was that this tune I detected a glimmer of something, a distant hint of the great ocean of power usually right there beyond my mental fingertips. The ocean was still there, only not quite as close as it should be and not as easily reached. But that was better than not being able to detect anything….

Worry sent me up on my feet and pacing again, the darker emotion dimming the excitement I felt. I was now in a much better position than I’d been in earlier, but what had that Lord Lanir said about my talent? Something concerning “whatever ability” I might “have left”? He obviously knew something that I didn’t, and it remained to be seen how true his beliefs were.

After pacing back and forth for a while, I finally decided that I needed a cup of tea. I went to the tray and poured the cup, but didn’t so much as glance at whatever food lay under the plate covers. I might be free of needing to obey the monster who held me in capture, but without my talent I would certainly be helpless to defend myself against him. If a distant touch were all I ever found it possible to accomplish, I would still prefer to be dead.

Another stretch of time passed as I paced slowly and sipped tea, and the next change occurred so abruptly that I nearly dropped the teacup. One moment I walked and worried, and the next I was again so firmly touching the power that I staggered dizzily. Before this latest insanity began I hadn’t been able to release the power except when I fell asleep, and now I seemed to be back to that exact same state again.

“So why wasn’t I able to reach it sooner?” I asked aloud in a murmur, feeling the strength of personality that being in touch with the power always brought. “And why did that fool think my talent would be less than it was?”

Asking that second question aloud was indulging in a bit of bravado, as I felt quite clearly that I wasn’t completely back to the way I’d been. There was still something of a … drag, of sorts, slowing down my reactions and limiting my access to the power. That didn’t necessarily mean I would remain less than I’d been, but—

“Oh, for pity’s sake,” I muttered, beginning to be really disgusted with myself. “That sedative the noble mentioned … If it was hilsom powder, it’s no wonder I’m coming back so slowly.”

I’d beard of hilsom powder, of course, but never having used it myself meant I’d known nothing of the details concerning it until Lorand had explained its main purpose and effects. Hilsom powder was used for the most part by physicians, and not just to sedate certain patients, but also to separate them from the power. Even Low talents can cause a good deal of havoc if they’re hysterical, or insane, or even just delirious from a fever. Hilsom powder denies them the use of their talent while they’re sedated, and returns their ability slowly over a period of time.

“So that means all I should have to do is wait,” I murmured, feeling a good deal better. “Once I’ve regained every bit of my strength, I’ll simply walk out of here. Anyone who tries to stop me will find out the hard way why Fire is the guardian talent in a Blending—”

My words broke off rather abruptly, the silence caused by a sudden, deeper understanding of what I faced. Once I left that house, I not only had nowhere to go, I had no idea how I would locate the others. And I had to locate them, no other course of action was possible. They needed my help—assuming I found it possible to first help myself— and whatever I did would have to be done alone.

Depression tried to fill me again, but the strength flowing into me from the power left no room for debilitating emotions. It was impossible to deny that I would have to act alone, but that would hardly be the first time. It might turn out to be the hardest time, but that would hold true only if I failed to make a decent plan. That, then, was my first objective: to make a plan rather than simply to act and run. Running blindly is often worse than not running at all.

So I returned to the tray with the intention of refilling my teacup, and ended up sitting down to the meal. I’d suddenly noticed that I was quite hungry after all, and it was necessary to remember that I’d been commanded to eat. Giving those people the least hint that I wasn’t quite as helpless as they imagined would be stupid, and my Blendingmates and I had already committed enough stupidities.

By the time I finished the food—which I had to rewarm only a little—more of the fog was gone from my mind and I had a tentative plan. It had come to me that the others and I needed to know what had been done to us, to make certain it was never done a second time. I was sure Lanir knew the details, and it should be possible to get him to brag about his knowledge. He might even know what had been done with the others, and if so, then I would know. I promised myself that, in the grimmest tone I could ever remember using.

I sat back in the chair with my teacup, trying not to dwell on the most disturbing part of my plan—which revolved around the fact that I couldn’t afford to leave the house until after that dinner party. I would have been happiest if I could have walked out immediately, but that Lord Lanir wasn’t here to be questioned, and I really didn’t want anyone sending guardsmen after me right away. They’d probably be sent eventually, but the longer I had to find a place to go, the better off I would be.

So I sipped tea and wondered what had been planned for my father as a reception. Seeing him again was another thing I would have been happy to miss, especially if he brought Odrin Hallasser with him. It was difficult to believe that anyone would actually try to challenge a noble’s claim to anything, so my father had to be more than desperate. I might have pitied someone else in the same situation, but my father had brought his problems on himself. He’d deliberately made his bed without considering anyone else, and now he could lie in it without interference.

But I still would have been happier if I didn’t have to see him pull the covers up….

CHAPTER THREE

Rion sat in the chair the servant had helped him to, feeling more lightheaded than be could ever remember being. It almost felt as though he floated in midair, and his thoughts were much too vague. But that didn’t mean he had no idea about where he was or what was happening to him. That he knew all too well, and if not for whatever drug had been given him, he would have been drowning in despair.

“Ah, good morning, my darling,” Mother’s voice came, and then she appeared to take the chair opposite his. “Did you sleep well? Did you enjoy your breakfast? … I know you’re able to reply, Clarion, and I would advise you to do so at once. I’m sure you’ve learned better than to make Mother angry.”

“In point of fact, I’ve learned a good deal more than that,” Rion responded, forced to speak slowly and with difficulty. “The most important lesson is that your anger is meaningless, so you may do as you please in that regard. I assure you that it will all be the same to me.”

“That, of course, will be the first fallacy you unlearn,” she countered, no longer as pleased as she’d been. “You will quickly remember how uncomfortable my anger can make you, and also, if necessary, that it can become painful. I will have my darling boy back, just as he was before he left to be ruined.”

“You seem to think that ignoring the truth will make it go away,” Rion observed, wishing it were possible to throw off the lethargy holding him in place. “Your former ‘darling boy’ has ceased to exist, and the man he has become detests you and all you stand for. If not for whatever I’ve been drugged with, I would walk from this house without a single backward glance.”

“To do what?” Mother challenged with a sound of ridicule. “You haven’t a single copper of your own, and you’re completely incapable of earning anything to support yourself. You would be reduced to begging in the streets, and everyone who saw you would laugh. Do you want to be laughed at? As a child, you hated when it happened….”

“Do you mean when you arranged for it to happen?” Rion said, taking advantage of the way her voice had trailed off in an effort to humiliate him without words. “Yes, Mother, I have finally figured out that all my difficulties with people were caused by you. It left me no one but you to turn to for companionship, which was precisely the result you were after.”

“You don’t need anyone’s companionship but mine,” she grated, once again less than pleased. “But that doesn’t mean I caused those incidents. It’s painful to say this to you, my dear, but your… clumsiness and lack of personality precipitated those discomfitures. You simply weren’t able to cope, and all I did was sympathize and support you. If that’s the sort of thing you wish to blame me for, please feel free to do so. A loving mother is always willing to be of whatever help she can be?”

“I find it difficult to believe that at one time I would have been swayed by that sort of nonsense,” Rion remarked, ignoring the nobly suffering expression on her face. “This drug allows me nothing in the way of strong emotions, of course, but even beyond that your claims are patently absurd. Someone who is incapable is incapable all the time, not simply when one particular person is about. Tell me what has become of my friends.”

“I forbid you to mention low, vulgar peasants in my presence again,” she said coldly with a gesture of dismissal. “If it had been up to me, those who ruined my darling boy would have suffered a good deal more than they shall… And I will have my darling back again, even if I must use something other than persuasion to see it done.”

“If you’re waiting for me to ask what that something is, you’re being absurd again,” Rion said, trying to find the energy to at least think about struggling against the drug. “Your threats will never frighten me again, so you’d best resign yourself to not having your own way this time.”

“Indeed?” she said, the sleekness enough to have made Rion extremely uneasy had he been free of the drug. “But I always have my own way, unless some vindictive sneak exercises his greater power behind my back. If I’d known Embisson Ruhl was behind your having been stolen away from me … but no matter. I’ve already taken steps to even the score with him. He’ll have as much pain as I had at your loss … But we were discussing methods other than gentle persuasion for gaining what I refuse to do without.”

This time Rion said nothing, principally to underscore his lack of interest. He truly felt that being dead would be preferable to remaining a prisoner for as long as his mother lived, something she needed to understand and believe.

“The physician told me something rather interesting,” Mother continued in the purr that showed she was at her most vindictive. “The sedative you’re being given is called hilsom powder, and I was warned not to keep you on it too long. Another day or two will be enough to be certain that your Air magic talent is ruined beyond repair, but then you must be taken off it or there could be … mind damage. Are you able to appreciate what that means?”

“Mind damage,” Rion echoed, a faint chill actually touching him. “My talent…ruined? What are you saying?”

“Oh, my darling, don’t you remember?” the vile woman said with what he used to consider full concern. “Being forced out of that Blending hurt you, and I’ve decided against allowing you to make any effort to repair the harm. Your talent encouraged you to disobey me, so now it must be forfeit. There will be no discussion on that particular point, but your mind is another matter. In order to keep it as it is, you must give me your solemn oath that you’ll do as I wish. If not…”

She let the words trail off suggestively again, increasing the chill that refused to let Rion banish it. If he didn’t obey her, he would be left in a state that was worse than death. But his talent, his ability! That she meant to take, and how could he face life without it?

“My poor darling, I can see how terribly confused you are,” she said as she rose from her chair and came close to pat his cheek. “I’ll let you think about your answer for a short while, but only for a short while. I’ve been thinking about it as well, and I’m nearly to the point of deciding that I might actually prefer you … altered. You’d be much more like the way you once were, and I really do miss that. I sincerely hope that your decision comes before I make my own, and now I must see to some business. We’ll speak again later, darling.”

She smoothed his hair before heading out of the room, leaving Rion to sit numbly in silent shock. What she’d said … He now knew that he would not only have to give his word to obey her, but that she would also require him to beg for the opportunity to do so. He would be forced to abase himself completely, and then might even be refused! And in any event, she’d already made up her mind to maim him…

Some part deep inside Rion wanted to weep like a brokenhearted child, but the rest of him had passed beyond the comfort and release of tears. His Blendingmates would be made to suffer, and he sat helpless and unable to help them. It was even beyond him to help himself, which brought self-hatred and even rage. The only blessing was that Naran couldn’t see him now, and that she, at least, was safe….

But what of the others? And in the name of the Highest Aspect—what was he to do?

“Oh, yes …! That’s marvelous … ! Why didn’t I ever try this before … ?”

Valiant became aware of the woman’s voice first, and then, after a long moment, he realized what she was in the midst of. His first thought after that was of Tamrissa, and he smiled to think how far she’d come. But then he opened his eyes, and shock tried to touch him when he saw Eltrina Razas instead of the woman he loved.

“Don’t be a fool, dear boy,” the woman laughed as her body tightened around him. “We’re through when I say we’re through, and that time hasn’t come yet. Who would have believed that a sedative used at less than full strength would produce results like this? It has something to do with lowering inhibitions, I’m told, as if I care why it works. All I care about is that it does, and that it isn’t going to stop anytime soon.”