Better with Ben (How to Tame a Heartbreaker Book 3) (7 page)

"All Seasons," Molly said.

Hannah looked at Ben with a confused expression, but didn't say anything. Taylor watched the conversation knowing there was more to Ben's company truck than anybody was saying.

"It's totally overkill," Taylor said. She gave him a teasing smirk as she crossed the last few feet to the truck. She got in the passenger's side. Hannah got into the driver's side and Molly in the back.

Ben stood in the driveway, looking distractedly at a couple of bikes that were chained to a pole on the back porch. Hannah turned the lights on, causing Ben to squint and shield his eyes. She opened the door. "Can I start it?" she yelled.

Ben threw a hand in the air as if he knew she was gonna do it regardless of what he said.

"Thanks," she yelled. "We'll just be a minute."

Ben picked up a basketball from the patio and used it to shoot a few hoops. The hoop had been lowered to accommodate a twelve-year-old and the ball was slightly flat, but he took a few shots while he waited for the girls, making seven or eight out of ten. Taylor acted like she was looking at all the buttons and features of the beautiful SUV, but she was really just agreeing with everything the other two girls said.

She couldn’t take her eyes off of Molly's brother. He smiled as he made shot after shot on a basketball hoop Taylor had never even noticed was in her driveway. He moved like an athlete, and Taylor got lost in hoping he'd make the shot each time he sent it into the air. She also noticed, when his shirtsleeve lifted as he released the ball, that she'd been right about the tattoo being on the right side. Obviously, she didn't mention it since she wasn't supposed to be staring in the first place.

"My brother has some rockstar Army job he's not telling me about," Molly said from the backseat. She knew they wouldn’t buy the landscaping thing, and wanted to mention it while Ben wasn't around.

"I was wondering how this came from that landscaping job." Hannah looked at Molly conspiratorially. "Is it secret agent stuff?" she asked.

Molly's eye's got big. "I think so," she said, honestly.

Hannah was considerate enough not to prod Molly for any more information. Molly was grateful although she didn't really know anything anyway. Taylor heard something about secret agent, but was basically oblivious to their entire conversation because she was so preoccupied with trying to steal glimpses of the big, handsome athlete out the front window.

Chapter 7

"Are you and Ben coming in?" Hannah asked as the girls made their way out of the new ride and back toward the house. She tossed the keys to Ben who caught and slid them into his pocket. He was wearing jeans and a light jacket with a hood, and boy was he all male. He radiated masculinity.

"We really shouldn't stay long," Molly said. "I have school in the morning."

"You have to come have a drink with me," Taylor said. "I had a bad weekend."

Taylor probably wouldn't have said that if she wasn't already a little buzzed, but there it was; she said it. She waited for Molly to respond.

"Are you talking about hurting your arm?" Molly asked.

The four of them finished walking inside before Taylor answered. "Yeah that, and I just had a sucky day yesterday, that's all."

She crossed to the kitchen and poured a little of the White Russian into a small glass which she held up for Molly. It was more melted than she liked, but it was still frozen enough to taste good. Molly took it from her and tasted a little sip. Taylor started to pour one for Ben but Molly stopped her.

"I'll just give him this one," she said. "I wanted to see what it tasted like, but I can't have a drink. We really do have to be going. I just wanted to stop by."

Molly's resolve made Taylor feel a little guilty—as if she had to explain. "I usually don't get wasted on Monday nights either," she said. She looked at both Ben and Molly when she said it. Both of them looked back at her as if she didn't owe them any sort of explanation, but she continued. "Something happened to me yesterday that I wish I could forget and Hannah was kind enough to try to help me do that."

"Oh, well, now you've got me curious," Molly said. Her face showed her concern. "Is everything okay?"

"Taylor found a dead body and had to report it to the police," Hannah said.

Molly gasped and put a hand over her mouth. "Are you being serious?"

"I wish she were kidding," Taylor said. "I'm not trying to freak you guys out or anything, I just wanted you to know why I'm sitting here in my pajamas getting drunk on a Monday night."

Molly looked at Ben as if she were expecting him to say something.

He shrugged a shoulder. "Where'd you find it?" he asked.

"In a shed at a restaurant."

Molly gasped again. "I heard somebody talking about that at school today," she said. "I think the guy who did it turned himself in or killed himself or something."

Taylor's ears perked up when Molly said he killed himself. That would be the best-case scenario. She made a mental note to make one of her roommates look into it for her since she was too scared to look it up herself.

"I can't believe you had something to do with that," Molly said. "Were you seriously the first person to find it?"

Taylor let out a little laugh. "Well if someone saw her before me, they just left her there and didn't tell anyone because she was just laying in the shed when I found her."

Molly whimpered at the thought. She still had her hand over her face, and she looked at her brother like he too should be shocked at everything they were hearing. "I can't believe it, Taylor. It's not even sinking in that you're serious right now."

"That's how I got the broken arm," Taylor said. "I got so freaked out that my feet wouldn't even work right when I tried to run away."

"I'm so sorry about all of this," Molly said sweetly. She looked at her brother to see if he'd chime in, but he just took in the conversation without saying a word.

Taylor shrugged. "I guess I just never thought of myself as the type of person who'd find a dead body," she said. "I don't usually go poking around alleyways or dumpsters, or comb the bottom of a lake or anything."

Hannah and Molly both smiled at her attempt to be light hearted, but Ben just looked at her. It was as if he could see through her facade to the hurt and fear that lay just beyond the surface. His penetrating gaze held hers for a couple of seconds before she broke the eye contact.

Ben felt an insane urge to protect this girl he barely knew. He could clearly see the fear in her eyes, and he wanted more than words could describe to just reach out and hold her—to tell her nothing was going to hurt her. He had to remind himself that the gesture would be misunderstood by all three of the females in the room, and unless he wanted to hear about how much he had
a crush on Taylor
for the next year, he had to refrain from comforting her like he wanted to.

He'd been in scary situations himself and been with a few soldiers who suffered a panic attack. Ben knew fear—had seen it in action plenty of times, and it was really hard for him not to try to help her somehow. He watched her try to change the subject and shrug it off like any tough girl would do, and wondered how her friends didn't see right through it.

He stared at her, wanting to hear the words she was saying, but suddenly too distracted to do so. She had these full, pillowy lips, and he was staring at them thinking about how they looked nothing like the girl he dated in Germany. Katrina had long, blonde hair like Taylor, but the similarities stopped there.
Katrina definitely didn't have those lips
, he thought as he stared at Taylor and her somewhat convincible smile.

Taylor was having a hard time keeping it together. Talking about the body made her start to feel the physical symptoms she now associated with panic, and she felt a surge of annoyance at knowing it was all psychological but being unable to control it. She could feel her heart rate speed up and the tingly feeling she got in her limbs that made her feel like her blood wasn't circulating right. She told herself it was all in her head—
begged
her brain to understand that her body wasn't failing, but the sensation was real enough to make her feel like she was on the verge of passing out.
Shit
.

"I'll be right back, I forgot my phone in my bedroom," Taylor said. Once she rounded the corner and was out their sight, she began opening and closing her hands repeatedly as a means to get the blood to flow. She had the distinct feeling that she was about to pass out, and promised herself that if she just made it to her bedroom, she could get horizontal on the bed for a minute.
Make it to the bed. Make it to the bed. This is all in my head. I'm making this up. I was just in the hospital. They had me hooked up to all sorts of things. If something had been wrong with my body, they would have told me about it. My body works fine and everything I'm feeling is in my head.

She crashed onto her bed taking deep, controlled breaths. Breathe in for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, and breathe out for four seconds. Again. In 1,2,3,4, hold, 1,2,3,4, out, 1,2,3,4.
All in my head. All in my head. They're waiting for me out there. Get it together.

She did two more rounds of the breathing exercise, and after a few minutes, the tingling sensation that let her know a pass-out was looming finally subsided. She ran her hands up and down her arms and legs testing to make sure everything was working.
Phone. I came to get my phone.

She grabbed her phone and went to join Hannah, Molly and Ben in the living room. She was looking down at it when she opened the door, so she nearly bumped into Ben, who was randomly standing in the middle of the hallway. Taylor was startled and breathed in sharply at the sight of him, putting a hand to her chest.

"Sorry," he said quietly. "They told me the restroom was back here."

The location of the restroom was obvious. There was an open door right next to Ben. The light was on and the vanity could be clearly seen.

"Oh yeah, it's right there," Taylor said. She gave him that same smile—the one that was formulated to make everyone think she was fine. She turned and started toward the living room, but she didn't get very far.

A big hand came around her shoulder turning her around. Before she knew it, she was caught up in his solid arms. For several long seconds, he just held her there. Taylor had been in
pretend everything is fine
mode, so her first instinct was to end the contact as quickly as she could and point him to the restroom. She started to pull back, but she just couldn't make herself go through with it. Being held by such a big, solid guy felt good to her senses, and she told herself there was no reason to be in such a hurry to end it.

He held her tightly for what must have been at least ten or fifteen seconds before she truly let go and let herself enjoy it. She breathed a contented sigh and relaxed into his arms, wrapping her own arms around his waist. She was silently thanking him for the kindness, and he knew it. He squeezed her. Tears stung her eyes, but she held them back.

They stayed in that hallway for what must have been two full minutes. At one point, she considered breaking the embrace just for the sake of getting back in there to Hannah and Molly, but it felt too good. In that moment, with big, strong Ben wrapped around her, she didn't fear anything—not the murderer, or even her own panic.

The physical pressure of his arms around her inexplicably relieved the emotional tension she was experiencing. Taylor breathed easy in his arms, and she stayed there, enjoying the relief for as long as she thought she could. He held her tightly, never even letting up on the pressure, making it clear that he was willing to hold her as long as she needed to be held. She was thankful for the kind gesture, and would have stayed like that for hours, or even days or weeks, but she knew Hannah and Molly would be concerned about her if she didn't show her face.

She pulled back and looked up to stare into Ben's kind eyes. He stared down at her patiently as if he were willing to stand there and hold her all night if she needed it. He was so handsome that, had she not been such an emotional wreck, she would have been really giddy and probably flirted with him. Instead, she looked up at him with an expression that she hoped conveyed her gratitude.

"Thank you," she said.

He smiled at her, but didn't say anything. He still had his hand on her shoulder, and when Taylor became aware that it's presence was still there, she experienced a pang of longing—one that had her wanting to do more than hug him. The feeling caused her to break the contact. He was offering her a comforting hug and she'd only embarrass herself if she tried to make something out of nothing. Besides, with her current status being of emotionally challenged, she couldn't trust her instincts.

"Thank you," she said again, smiling. She turned around to leave the hallway, and was glad she had broken the contact when she did. Hannah rounded the corner, nearly bumping into Taylor. Taylor glanced back, but Ben was already on his way to the restroom. Hannah didn't seem to notice that they'd been in the hall together.

"I was just coming to check on you," Hannah said. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Taylor said. She
was
good. Her heart felt strong—plenty of blood flow. 

Hannah turned around and walked back to the kitchen without saying anything about Ben. Taylor followed her, feeling somehow better for having experienced that hug. It was like medicine coursing through her body, and she smiled as she had the fleeting thought that if she had trouble, she'd call Ben for a hug instead of getting the prescription filled.

"Call me if you need anything," Molly said, from across the living room. She was standing in such a way that Taylor knew they would be leaving when Ben got out of the restroom. She felt sad about that fact, wishing he'd stick around so she could snag one more hug.

"Thanks for coming by," Taylor said, acting like she didn't care. "Your brother's truck is gonna have to take me somewhere sometime," she added. She wasn't sure why she said it. Maybe it was just because she was trying to fill the silence and maybe she really did want to get back in his truck sometime. Either way, she hadn't intended for Ben to hear, so she was surprised and a little embarrassed when he came up behind her. "Where you wanna go in my truck?" she heard him ask.

She laughed awkwardly. "Oh, uh, no, Molly was saying you guys were taking off and I was, uh, just saying I liked your new truck."

"Well I'm the one who drives it, so if you need it to take you somewhere, I'm gonna have to come too."

Taylor wanted so badly to flirt but just couldn't make herself do it yet. She smiled and played off his comment. "I'm so glad you guys stopped by," she said. "And your truck is super nice."

Molly reminded her to call if she needed anything, and they all exchanged hugs at the door. Quick hugs—nothing like the one in the hallway. When it was Ben's turn to hug Taylor at the door, she felt his arms tighten around her, but didn't let herself enjoy it, even for the slightest second. Being in his arms was just too good. If she allowed herself time to enjoy it, she'd never want to let him go.

"Okay so, bye. I'll probably see you guys soon."

"Yeah, we'll get together soon," Molly said.

Taylor wanted to get out her calendar and set up the appointment right that second, but she knew that would come across as entirely too eager. Ben opened the door and stood aside for his sister to walk out. He gave Hannah and Taylor a curt nod and a grin as he walked out, closing the door behind him.

"I should probably call Jason and let him know I'll be staying over here," Hannah said. She scooped ice cream into the blender for a fresh round of White Russians.