Between Friends (4 page)

You see, I was mighty confused. I hadnt really thought everything through. Id thought a lot about what Id say to Jules, and it still went to shit. I couldnt even start figuring out how Id break it to my mother, but she clearly was ahead of me. I mustve given her a dazed look, because she stepped up to me, put her hands on either side of my face, and looked into my eyes like she used to when I was a kid.

“Lucas Francis Burke, Im your mother. I love you, and I want you to be happy, but its only you who knows wholl make you happy. Ill not hold that against you. Julians a nice kid.”

“Ma, I love you,” I said, eyes stinging. It meant everything in the world that she was okay with things being what they were. Maybe it wasnt all hopeless.

B
Y THE
time we got back to the party, the sun was going down. Once the pies were safely on the table, I looked around for Jules. He was standing in a small group: Kev and Emily were there, the Wilkinsons from across the street, and a few other people. Dolores Wilkinson was the biggest gossip in town. Perfect. I took a deep breath and strode straight up to Jules. Before he knew what was going on, I grabbed him by the back of the head and locked my lips on his. I didnt exactly expect him to melt, but I wasnt quite ready for a brawl. He tried to shove me away, but I wouldnt let go. We tripped over a cooler and landed on the grass with a thud. Our scuffle continued. Jules had done track and field in high school; Id done wrestling. It was no contest. I was also still bigger and stronger. Even pinned down, he looked furious. It was sexy as hell.

The party had gone real damn quiet; the only sounds were the kids squealing away in the background. We were surrounded by a circle of shocked and curious onlookers. I figured it was now or never.

“Julian Reid, you stubborn son of a bitch, Im in love with you and wanna spend the rest of my life with you,” I said, loud enough for everyone to hear.

There were gasps and murmurs, and some people giggled, thinking we were horsing around.
“Get off me,” Julian growled.
“No.” I could be stubborn too.
He struggled to throw me off, but I just held him tighter. He stilled but was still tense. I leaned in til our noses almost touched. “Jules, baby, I love you,” I whispered, only for him to hear.
His eyes burned into mine. Then it happened: the fight went out of him. Our next kiss was a real one. All sorts of noises broke out around us, hooting being the loudest. We quickly broke it off and stood up with our ears burning.
“Okay, move along, folks, nothing to see here,” Kev shooed the onlookers.
“Youre fucking insane,” Julian hissed at me. His voice was full of the same mix of anxiety and excitement I felt.
Despite Kevs best efforts, almost every face was turned toward us in a wide range of expressions. Jules tugged my arms and motioned in the direction of the house.

W
E ENTERED
it through the patio door and exited through the front.
“Ill race you,” I said.
We ran the short distance to my mothers house, like we often had as kids. Inside, we collapsed against the door in a heap of nervous laughter. Jules was in my arms, his hand on my chest over my heavily pounding heart.
“Shit, Luke, that was some coming out. People will be talking about it for years.”
I groaned. Not that I regretted anything, but I wasnt looking forward to that. I aint the shy type, but the idea of the whole town staring at me, judging me, wasnt all that pleasant.

“How do you feel?” Jules asked.
“Scared shitless,” I admitted.
“Itll be okay.”

Jules pressed himself closer and placed a kiss at the junction of my neck and shoulder. Again and again, soft touches up my neck. He nipped my jaw. I shuddered. Id missed it so bad, this mix of soft and firm. We stumbled to my room, tearing at each others clothes. We couldnt get naked fast enough. Youd think he was as starved for it as I was. Itd been a long time for me since Id been with anyone, and even longer since Id been with Jules. Id spent so many nights dreaming of him sucking my balls into his mouth, his warm, wet tongue sliding up my shaft, and it all paled in the intensity of him doing those things for real.

“Thats okay, baby, let go,” he said, and swallowed my cock down.
He was ruthless. Heat and suction enveloped my cock. He didnt buck when I put my hand on the back of his head and pushed him down over my cock; he just swallowed me deeper. My come shot down his throat. He didnt pull off til I started to get soft.
It was now totally dark outside. We lay in each others arms, kissing slowly, tasting, savoring. Juless erection pushed into my hip. The previous sense of urgency was gone, but I wasnt done being horny. My cock never went past half-hard.
“What about your mom?” Jules asked.
“She wont be back til after the fireworks are over.”
Jules leaned in and our lips and tongues met again. Id always liked kissing, but never more than with Jules. He knew what he wanted. Not unlike the finger circling my entrance. He broke the kiss, and our eyes locked. No words were said, but I let my legs fall open. A single digit pushed in, lubricated only by my own sweat. It was a confusing sensation; I wanted it both gone and to go deeper at the same time. Jules worked his finger in slowly. When he hit my prostate, I jumped a little.
“Oh,” I sighed.
I was in uncharted territory. Id known it was there, what it did, but Id never dared to venture so far.
“I want….”
“Yes,” I answered his unfinished question.
Jules rolled off the bed, found his jeans on the floor, and got out his wallet. He dug out two slim packages: condom and lube. A different brand than what he used to carry, back years ago. I pulled my legs up in that pose of submission. He opened me even more carefully than hed once taught me. He knew when I was ready. His cock drove into me, maddeningly slow. It was both uncomfortable and exciting. Jules watched me with an intense concentration.
“So full,” I gasped.
He pulled out almost completely, then pushed back, a little faster this time.
“Please fuck me,” I urged him.
It was utter surrender, far beyond just sex. I was giving up control. It was more terrifying than letting the whole neighborhood know I was queer. It was also incredibly freeing. Jules was pounding my ass harder and harder. The whimpering sounds I made wouldve been embarrassing, if I couldve given a damn.
I was startled by the first loud whistle until it bloomed into a loud explosion: the fireworks had started. Jules and I broke into a laugh at the same moment at the silliness of it. Our laughs turned into rough groans in the messy eruptions of our orgasms. Yeah, I know, its corny as hell, but there were actual fireworks going off when Jules and I made love for the first time. So sue me.
We lay there, sweaty and drained, and watched the tail end of the show through the window. I pushed myself up on an elbow, but it was Jules I wanted to get a better look at. He looked back, smiling. There was that tightness in my chest and silent panic in my belly again. This time I recognized it for what it was.
“I love you so fucking much,” I said.
Juless expression changed, got softer. More naked. He reached up to brush his fingers over my face. “You big sap. I think Ive loved you since I first laid eyes on you.”
“You were four!”
“Yeah. So?”
“You little perv.”
S
O THERE
you have it. When Jules went back to Chicago two days later, I went with him. I didnt mind staying out of Buford til the whole tongue-wagging died down. Now, that was over five years ago, and the story of how Luke Burke went queer all of a sudden on one Fourth of July still comes up, but thereve been other, more recent things to gossip about. Like the story of Marcy, the Wilkinsons daughter, showing up in one of those
Girls Gone Wild
videos. Or the other story about one of the high school jocks causing himself a serious crotch injury trying to copy a
Jackass
stunt. Life goes on.
We still go back to Buford every summer for the big party in the Reids backyard. The five of us always find time to sit around and shoot the shit. We talk about our jobs, families, and stuff. Jons married too, by now. We joke around about which one of them will go queer next. They wont; they are as hetero as one can reasonably get. Certain past events notwithstanding. Somebody did innocently bring up Kevs bachelor party last summer. All of us guys just turned beet-red and looked for our beers.
Yeah, that reminds me; I bought that couch from Johnny. He gave it up cheap. Its a tatty old thing by now, but we still have it and still use it too. What can I say? I got my kinks. So does Jules; he needled me til I grew my sideburns out. He says I look hotter than Hugh Jackman. I cant argue with that.
Jules and I got a place at the outskirts of Chicago, to the Buford side. The building is an old cannery converted to a loft. We did most of the converting ourselves. Theres enough space for my bikes and space for Jules to work. Were close to our families, but not too close, if you know what I mean. I wont lie, it was hard at first, but it got easier. Some people turned out to be shits. Fuck em, I say. Most people were cool, or at least civil, and some surprised us in a good way.
Is it a happy ever after? It is to me. Jules and I are still together. I still get that tightness in my chest when I look at him. We still have lots to talk about and still laugh at the same shit. We have troubles and hard times, like everyone else. There are arguments and fights, like in any relationship. We both have stubborn streaks and tempers. So we shout at each other until we get it out of our systems, then were good. At the end of the day, we fall asleep in each others arms. Oh, and yeah, we still fuck like bunnies.

incorrigible romantic. Her love affair with the written word started at a tender age. There was never a time when stories werent romping around in her head. She is currently embroiled in a ruinous romance with adjectives. In her free time, Lou stalks deviant words and feral narratives.

Lou has misspent her life in parts of Europe and the US but is now firmly settled in Los Angeles and worships the sun. Lou is a loner, a misfit, and a happy drunk.