Beyond My Control: Forbidden Fantasies in an Uncensored Age (21 page)

Over the years, I have masturbated almost daily, sometimes in a darkened movie theater as a teenager. I have used many images in my mind: lovers, events, sometimes videos and magazines. I have not had the fortune to be married to a sexually curious or adventurous woman. Though she is multi-orgasmic, getting her to put my cock in her mouth was a major event. I have been unable to interest her in masturbation— hers or mine. This is leading me to the point of wanting an affair or to find a woman who is willing to participate with me in any number of exciting things, but I’m quite concerned about the emotional attachment that might develop, not to mention the aftereffect if I was found out. On to one of my favorite fantasies:

Helena, my girlfriend, asks me to do her a favor, that it will take a couple of hours this evening. When I get to her apartment, she says that her seventeen-year-old niece needs our help, and we have to get over to her house right away. When we get there, we go right to a back bedroom. She asks me to sit down so that we can get ready. Naturally, I wonder what’s going on when she says I need to put on a blindfold. When it’s in place, and taped over the forehead and eyes so I can’t see, she tells me why we’re there. Her niece had been asking some questions about sex and boys a couple of

weeks ago. Since she and her friends haven’t seen a naked man or had any sexual experience, Helena says she volunteered to “demonstrate” me at their next slumber party so they can get a real close look. As Helena starts undressing me, I’m beginning to realize what kind of experience lies ahead. I ask her what she’s going to do; she tells me not to worry, that I’ll do just fine, and I’ll be under her control the whole time. She suddenly handcuffs my hands behind me, saying it’ll be better that way.

There is a lot of nervous laughter as she leads me into the room by the cock and tells them they’re going to get a close look at a real set of balls. Helena invites questions, and one asks how it gets hard. Another wants to know how big it gets.

Helena turns me around and tells me to sit down and lay back—it feels like a low coffee table with a pillow at one end. I’m spread very wide. The stirring in my cock continues as Helena stretches it out and holds it up for them to see. She asks everyone to get real close so they don’t miss anything.

The idea of six or seven females clustered around my cock is very exciting. Helena takes my cock into her mouth and a nip or two with her teeth really got me started as she lets it back out so the girls can see what’s going on. I’m pretty stiff by now and feel Helena’s hand take a familiar position on the shaft. She explains how to position the fingers for the best effect. She starts to stroke me up and down and shows how to hold it tighter or looser and how to speed up or slow down as it gets harder. Then, I feel her mouth again, and she sucks me deeper.

My cock is now fully erect and at attention. The girls comment about its size and want to know if it will hurt going into their pussies. Helena assures them there will be plenty of natural lubrication and suggests they check their pussies right now. There are a number of “oohhs” and “ahhs.” Helena removes her blouse and skirt and encourages them to take off whatever they want. She asks if any of them want to try, and I

feel Helena place a girl’s hand on my cock. She giggles how hard it is, and for the first time, I speak, telling her how good it feels.

Another girl tries. Helena shows them how to keep me from cumming by squeezing my balls just hard enough to ease the tension. Then, she resumes stroking, and I ask her to please let me cum. She tells me I’m not ready yet and squeezes some more. Then, she shows the girls how to take each ball into their mouths and gently pull and suck on them. The girls squeal with delight.

I start to shout how badly I need to cum. Knowing I’m being exhibited and controlled is having an effect on my mind, not to mention my cock. I hear them gasp as it disappears into her mouth again and applaud as I try to push up into her mouth even deeper. I yell again for Helena to let me cum. The girls agree it’s time, and Helena tells them the real good part is about to happen. I thrust in her mouth one last time and then pull out as I explode like the fourth of July.

Glenn

I’m a thirty-six-year-old single man, and though I have had to endure a lifetime of humiliation and pain resulting from having been sexually abused as a child by my mother, I am finally starting to come into my own as a sexual being and am enjoying it. It is a real turn-on to read women’s private sexual fantasies.

A typical one of mine is being at the doctor’s for a physical exam (my doctor is female, younger than me, and quite sexy) and getting an erection when she checks my genitals and/or prostate gland. I have never actually gotten an erection in a physical exam (I have tingles though)

because I get so panicked and afraid of being re-abused that I go into a traumatic reaction and freeze up. It is the weirdest combination of excitement and pain. I am afraid it will happen in an exam. Some of these fantasies involve nurses who walk in or are party to the exam. For example, the doctor squats down to look at my genitals (this really did happen). But then I start to get a hard-on, especially as she checks my balls. On the actual occasion when she said she wanted to check the alignment of my balls, I thought she was making an excuse to ogle my cock, and that really turned me on inside. I keep getting intensely re- stimulated when I recall those words.

In the fantasy, I am getting pretty big and sticking out straight. She acts cool, but I can tell she’s turned on, too, and when she tells me to turn around and spread my legs for a rectal exam, I get even hotter. She slips her gloved finger deep into my ass and strokes my prostate, at which time I casually mention that I am having some erection problems. She has me turn around and asks me to try to make myself erect, and as I turn, she sees I am already getting pretty big. She gets down close to my cock and reinserts her finger into my ass, tells me she needs to check the ejaculatory response, and has me pump my cock. (She offers me some lubricant.) But even though she is acting cool, I sneak a peek down and see that her other hand is under her smock, and she is secretly jacking herself off. I start to moan, she increases her rectal probing, and I start to ejaculate. And as she sees my sperm erupt from my cock, she moans and cums too.

Clayton

Clayton is ayoungblack virgin. in his fantasies, he fucks only beautiful womenwith authority: a teacher in front of her class, an anchorwoman on camera.

Many people assume that black people are always fucking and, because of this, they are magicians in the bedroom. I don’t discourage this belief. I mostly play along and let people assume what they will about my sex life.

In junior high, at a private school I attended, there was a teacher who was very well-built and angular. She wore revealing clothes that emphasized her great body. All the guys would joke that if you didn’t fantasize about her, something was wrong with you. During class, she would wiggle her sweet little ass while putting notes on the board. When passing out papers, she would slightly bend over, letting students get a glimpse of her soft, large breasts. Erections occurred by the dozens. My friends and I usually had to wait several minutes before leaving the class. Her classes were among the favorites.

My fantasy begins with me being told to stay after class while the rest of the class and the whole junior high go out to lunch. I stay after as instructed. She tells metowait in her roomwhile she goes to the bathroom. While she’s gone, I hide under her desk. She comes back in a few minutes to fi the room empty. She shuts the door and walks to her desk to write me up for disobeying her. She sits down. I notice she isn’t wearing any panties. I am captivated by how hairy she is and immediately begin to explore her with my tongue. Startled, she drops her pen and spreads her legs wider in response. Her cunt swells as it gets wetter. I push her chair back from the desk, revealing myself. She is shocked at first but gets more turned on, which leads her to her fi orgasm.

I glance over, seeing several friends looking through the door window. They’re clearly excited and give me a thumbs up, implying they’ll keep a watch out.

I stand up and clear the desk. She throws me on the desk. I am so hard I’m in pain. She unbuttons my pants, exposing my virgin prick. I undo her blouse and unhook her bra. She mounts me. I can’t believe

how warm and moist she feels. I see my friends watching and smiling as she starts to thrust up and down. I fondle her breasts, causing her nipples to get hard.

Over and over, she tells me how underdeveloped my penis is and how lucky I am she is fucking me. I start to feel the buildup of cum getting ready to shoot out of my cock as she screams louder and louder. I look over through the tinted classroom windows to see my classmates returning from lunch. My friends at the door signal to hurry up. This excites me, making me cum inside her quicker. We quickly disengage and rush to put our clothes back on as my friends at the door hold off the other kids. The students finally walk in to find me seated at a desk and her at her desk. They sit down as she begins her discussion of human sexuality, which is chapter nineteen in our health books.

Daydreaming about the encounter we just had, I look over by her desk on the floor. On the far side, away from my classmates, I notice her black bra. I ask permission to be excused. While getting a hall pass, I pick up the bra and tuck it under my shirt. I smile as I leave the classroom, the rush to put the bra in my locker as a souvenir and proof my buddies and I will have of what I did.

matthew

I’m a thirty-one-year-old lawyer with innumerable fantasies and endless variations, the likes of which would fill volumes. Some are raunchier than others; some are mild. For instance, I sometimes see an attractive woman, and I picture what her body would look like and how she would act if I got her hot enough to go with me into a public

bathroom and let me suck her tits. (I have actually done this a couple of times.)

I would also like to see a really old man, sixty to seventy, get sucked off by and try to fuck a really young-looking teenage nymph. Likewise, I would like to see a barely post-adolescent mulatto boy fuck a wrinkly, skinny, yet slightly attractive old white bitch with long, gray, dry hair and bright red lipstick.

One thing I find truly exciting is a woman who loves to fuck; the age or shape of the woman is secondary to my excitement level if I perceive her as loving to get rammed by a hard dick. I love the thought of young, beautiful lesbians licking each other and sucking each other’s breasts. One recurring theme I use a lot when I masturbate is turning on an older woman, forty-five to fifty years old or so. I like to think of such a woman, usually an older Asian, who is still sexually attractive, getting turned on by the thought of having sex with me, a younger man. I fantasize that she hasn’t had sex in three or four years, since her husband died. And when she did have sex, it was mediocre because her husband had a small penis and he was not very passionate or sensitive to what turns a woman on. I get off seeing her give in to her lust. I love picturing this woman getting rammed by me from behind, hearing the slapping of my thighs against her ass.