Beyond Reason (26 page)

“It is. I’ve been going after something that wasn’t even real just so I wouldn’t have to deal with things that were. I felt safe when there was no emotional pull to any of the guys I’d met in the past. I actually think I liked feeling numb, like it was my safety net. But there was a part of me that wanted Austin to be the one to pull me out of it, not realizing someone else already had.” I bit my lip and glanced at the floor.

“What?” Gabby asked. “What do you mean someone else?”

“There’s definitely someone else who has seen me at my worst and my best…”

“It’s Ayden, isn’t it?” Gabby’s brows shot up, and she couldn’t keep the smile off her face.

“How’d you know?” I asked.

“Seriously? I think he’s been in love with you for years.”

“No way,” I whispered.

“Yes, way.”

“How do you think Brandy’s going to take it?” I asked.

“Please. She’ll be fine with it. She better be fine with it. She’s dating my brother and I didn’t care. I just want my best friends to be happy.”

“I think I might tell her tonight if things continue the way they have been.”

“Oh, my God. I’m so excited about this,” Gabby gushed, completely in her own world. “So the Austin thing is completely okay, and you’re not going to kill us?”

I laughed. “Definitely not going to kill you, but I do think you owe me a lifetime of free baked goods.”

“I think that’s fair.”

“Good morning,” Sammie said, fussing in the kitchen. “How’d everything go last night?”

I stood up from the couch and turned around to Sammie beaming.

“Apparently things went according to your plan,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“What plan?” Gabby asked.

“Since I can’t have caffeine or alcohol, Lily’s just helping a poor pregnant girl stay amused.” She grinned and took a sip of orange juice.

“So what’s our plan for the day? I heard the guys were going to go snowshoeing,” Gabby said.

“I think most of the guys are going to go snowshoeing, but one has other plans,” I confessed.

“So no girl time?” Gabby teased.

“If Lily stayed behind with us, I’d lock her outside in the freezing cold,” Sammie vowed.

“She knows?” Gabby whispered.

I nodded.

“You’re probably right. So are you planning on seeing Austin any more, or is that kind of behind you?” Gabby asked.

“Oh, no. Did something go wrong last night?” Brandy asked, coming into the kitchen.

I glanced at Sammie whose eyes were as wide as saucers, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Well, yes and no,” I laughed nervously, walking into the kitchen.

“I think that’s our cue to exit,” Gabby announced and Sammie followed.

“Why did the kitchen suddenly turn into a ghost town around here?” Brandy asked.

Not wanting to wait any longer to tell her, I offered Brandy a cup of coffee and decided to repeat everything this vacation had taught me as her expression remained unchanged.

I took a sip of my coffee and waited for Brandy to say something, anything. But she just sat there and sipped her coffee slowly. This wasn’t exactly the reaction I was hoping for, and I wanted to get everything out in the open before Ayden reappeared.

Unable to handle the silence any longer, I hopped off the stool and began making toast. What was it with food and me? After popping the bread in the toaster, I glanced up at Brandy who was beaming from ear to ear.

“What?” I asked, placing my hands on my hips.

“I’ve known,” she laughed. “I just wanted to mess with you a little since you obviously didn’t feel any of the same pressures I did about dating Gabby’s brother.” She scowled at me teasingly.

“Are you serious? How’d you know?” I asked.

She started laughing and shook her head. “I’ll always protect my sources.”

“That’s totally my line,” I shot back. “So he told you?”

She nodded. “He asked me if I was okay with it. And, of course, I was okay with it. Like I’m in a position to not be okay with it?”

“True.” I teased, narrowing my eyes at her.

“Anyway, I’ve never seen Ayden so serious about anything in my life, and I’ve been a nervous wreck this entire time, worrying you’d break his heart and actually find your happily-ever-after with what’s his face.”

I started laughing. “You mean anti-snowball man, Austin? Definitely not happening. But to think I’d break Ayden’s heart? I’m kind of feeling like I might be the one who should worry about that. He’s been hot and cold for so long…”

“Well, you’re the one in Utah visiting your old boyfriend,” she scoffed, her face expressionless.

“Oh, my god! You pulled me down here,” I laughed.

“Still.” She smiled. “I’m sorry. I know I should be taking this more seriously, but I just don’t understand how I could’ve been torn up inside when I first started seeing Aaron, and you’ve got nothin’ going on about it upstairs. No remorse. Nothing,” she laughed. “I’ve gotta be able to mess with you a little.”

“Because I came to you right away. That’s why I didn’t feel bad about it. Plus, your track record already told me it would be fine,” I laughed. “Besides, you created your own inner turmoil with Aaron.”

My toast popped up and without buttering it, I began to munch on it.

“So, seriously? You’re okay with everything?” I asked again.

Brandy’s expression turned serious as she nodded. “I couldn’t be happier. You are my best friend and Ayden is well, amazing. He’s an awesome brother and—”

“Whoa. Why’s Ayden getting all these props all of a sudden?” Mason asked, coming into the kitchen with complete bedhead, but unlike his twin brother, he was fully clothed in flannel pajamas. “I thought I was the favorite brother, knucklehead.”

Mason stole my toast and finished it off. “So what’s the big idea making me second fiddle?”

“Don’t kid yourself. You’ve always been second fiddle,” Ayden laughed, walking into the kitchen. His eyes landed on Brandy, who gave him a quick nod and smile as he slid his arm around my shoulders for a hug. “So I’m going to bag out on you guys today.”

“What? We’ve even got turkey sandwiches chilling in the fridge for our snow picnic today,” Mason whined, slapping the counter. “And who’s going to be the one who saves the day when one of us rolls down a hill? Ayden, please, you’re so needed for today’s expedition or we won’t all survive.” Mason’s brow arched as he held in his laughter.

“I’ve got my priorities,” Ayden laughed, kissing the top of my head, sending a flutter of pure exhilaration through me. This was what things were supposed to feel like. “And laugh all you want, but who had to haul your ass out of the Cascade mountains after you slipped down an embankment?”

“Whatever, dude,” Mason joked. “That’s totally cold. I was like fifteen.”

Ayden laughed as Gabby, Jason, and Sammie appeared in the kitchen.

“Boy, did I luck out with the right brother,” I teased.

“I resent that. I’m completely the catch between the two of us,” Mason replied.

“So everything’s out in the open?” Gabby asked, sliding next to Brandy on a stool. “Did you have any idea Lily was swooning over your brother?”

“I hid it well. Thank you very much,” I said, rolling my eyes at Brandy. “Don’t tell me you knew.”

“No, definitely not, but I don’t know how I didn’t see it coming. I mean you were always telling me how cute they were.”

“
They
?” Mason and Ayden yelled at the same time and I cringed.

“No. Not
they
,” I corrected. “Ayden. Only Ayden.”

Gabby and Brandy started laughing while Mason turned to face me with a huge grin.

“Not even,” I said, rolling my eyes.

“I don’t know about that,” Gabby said. “I kind of remember the whole trip to their cabin and you—”

“I did not. I’ve only had eyes for Ayden. He’s way hotter.”

“So you talked about me?” Ayden whispered, grabbing me into a hug.

“Maybe.”

“Hmmm,” his whisper sent chills through me.

“Only in passing.”

“You two definitely need to spend the day together and get this out of your system,” Gabby said, waving at us.

“It’s not like that. We’re only going to play in the snow,” I protested.

“I saw how that worked out for you yesterday,” Gabby laughed.

“What do you mean?” Brandy looked over at us, amused.

“You don’t want to know,” Jason said. “But it certainly made a snowball fight look hotter than normal.”

“That’s it. Enough with the unjust persecution,” I said, as Ayden released me. “I did nothing wrong or out of the ordinary. I’m off to shower.”

I walked down the hall, leaving the excited voices back in the kitchen when I felt Ayden come up behind me and scoop me into his arms.

“I just wanted to tell you how hot the Yogi Bear pajamas are,” he teased.

“I’m glad you like them. They’re my favorite.”

“And holding you in my arms last night was—”

“Incredible,” I finished as I got to my door. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to get ready for a date with a really hot guy.”

I pushed him playfully out of my door and closed it behind him. Everything felt completely perfect, too perfect. But I didn’t want to get wrapped up in my usual paranoia. Instead, I picked out a pair of jeans and a grey sweater and headed for the shower.

Turning on the water, I let it warm up and stripped out of my pajamas. The fact that I crawled into bed with Ayden wearing them was oddly wonderful. Normally, I spent so much time on perfecting the right look with lingerie that I was never actually comfortable or myself. I stepped into the warm shower and let the water droplets cascade down my back, allowing me to fully relax for the first time since we arrived in Utah. I was absolutely amazed at how things had turned for the better because I stopped trying to force something that wasn’t natural.

I lathered the shampoo in my hair and was rinsing it out when I heard a rustle in my bedroom.

“Hello?” I called out but got no response.

I heard a few snickers and then more rustling so I hurried and rinsed my body and hair before turning off the water and drying off. I walked into the bedroom and there was no one around and no sign that anyone had been here, but I knew someone had definitely been snooping. Actually, it was probably two somebodies, but I couldn’t tell what they were up to as I looked around.

I went back into the bathroom and began blow-drying my hair and daydreaming about Ayden. I wondered what it would be like when we got back to reality, after our vacation in the winter wonderland. First of all, there was the distance. I lived in Portland. He lived near Seattle. Second, I was jobless, but when I did find one, I knew I’d throw myself into it, and that never left much time for a relationship. And third, his job kept him completely tied up and traveling. By the time I put down the blow dryer, I was depressed and annoyed until I heard his voice from the doorway.

“You look magnificent,” he murmured, his eyes cascading down my towel-wrapped body.

I blushed and decided to put all my worries behind me, at least for the next few days, while we enjoyed each other’s company.

“So was it my imagination or were there two accomplices in my bedroom while I was in the shower?” I asked.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he said, grinning. “So I’ve got the whole day planned out.”

“Are jeans and a sweater okay or do I need more?”

“That’ll be perfect.” His blue eyes sparkled as his eyes fell along my body once more. “I’m sorry, but I just can’t…”

He took two large steps and had me in his arms in under a second. My entire body melted into his as he gently slid his lips against the crook of my neck, sending shivers down my spine. I slid my hands around his hips as he pressed into me.

“Ayden,” I whispered, as my breath caught, feeling his firmness press against my body.

“I love how my name rolls off your tongue,” he whispered, right before his mouth came to mine. The sweetness of his lips was completely intoxicating. It took everything I had not to slip out of his arms. With each new kiss, my world spun into a whirlwind of emotions. Tasting his lips only created a deeper desire within my body, signaling how badly I needed more from him.