Beyond Repair (16 page)

I couldn’t kiss him anymore but kept his mouth against mine as our breaths mixed together while I panted and he whispered.

“You’re okay, baby. Let go. I have you.” His thumb, still pressed against my clit, rubbed in fast little circles, and I was
gone
. I gripped his shoulders and buried my head against his chest, trembling and gasping as the most insane pleasure shot through my body.

“That’s it,” he whispered, as his hand kept working me, the other stroking my hair. “Best feeling ever is you hot and wet around my fingers.”

He stayed inside as my tremors stopped and I caught my breath, and then kissed the top of my head. “You okay?”

I nodded. “That was so frigging amazing. Thank you.” It was such a stupid thing to say about something that felt so incredible, but my brain wasn’t working at top speed at the moment.

He gave me a huge smile. “Oh, it was my pleasure.”

I moved my hands toward his boxers, my arms tangling with his since his fingers were still inside of me. The grin fell from his face as I rested them on the waistband, and his chest rose and fell, though the rest of his body stayed perfectly still.

“You can move your hand now.”

His hand slowly slid out of me, and he looked into my eyes as I gripped the elastic waist and pulled down. His body shifted, allowing me to slide them down farther until his dick sprang free. I swallowed as I stared at it. It looked painful, so big and swollen, with a drop of pre-cum already on the tip. This poor man desperately needed to come, and I so badly wanted to do that for him.

I reached out and wrapped my hand around his thick length. God, I loved touching him. The contrast of him being so hard under the soft, smooth skin was amazing. I sighed, trailing my thumb along the ridge where his head met his shaft, then gripped him tightly. His eyes turned darker.

“You don’t have to do this,” he whispered.

“I want to,” I said back softly and pumped the length of him.

He closed his eyes for a second, and then he opened them back up and nodded. “Stop whenever you want to.” His voice was choked.

There was no way I was going to stop. I ran my thumb over the pre-cum, just to watch another drop take its place. As my hand moved, his eyes sank shut and he leaned back, his face tense and vulnerable. I reveled in the sight of him, worshiped the feeling of him in my hand, and became intoxicated by the faint scent of his soap that graced me with each little movement he made.

At that moment, I accepted what I knew all along. This was turning into so much more than I thought I’d be capable of giving to someone ever again. It was happiness, awe, and even a little bit of terror swirling in my stomach like a cyclone. This was huge, it was strong, and I desperately wanted it more than I’d ever wanted anything else.

I leaned over and pressed my mouth to his, trying to use my lips and tongue to convey my feelings. He responded eagerly as my hand moved up and down, tighter and faster. He tightly gripped the back of my head, holding me against him as we kissed until he broke away, “Baby, I’m not going last much longer,” he breathed.

Keeping my hand on him, I slid off his lap and onto the floor, kneeling in front of him. “Oh,
God
,” he let out as I opened my mouth and took him as deep as I could. “You don’t have to … oh,
shit
.”

I moved my head up and down so my lips would meet my hand wrapped around the bottom of his shaft, my hair falling in my face until Chris pulled it into a ponytail with his hands. He didn’t force my head to move but kept groaning as my mouth slid up and down. “God, Brooke … I … shit … your fucking mouth … I …”

His hips jerked as I sucked him, and I knew he was losing the control that he was trying so hard to hold onto. His hand tightened against the back of my head. “So damn close.
So damn
—”

I shoved him as deeply into my mouth as I could and hummed as I moved back up, adding my stroking hand to the mix. His breath quickened and he muttered a bunch of words that I couldn’t make out as his hips thrust forward. His dick jerked and warm, creamy liquid coated my tongue. I stayed where I was, making sure he was finished, before I pulled off, rubbed my mouth, and stared at him as I swallowed. His eyes widened as I smiled at him.

“God, get over here.” Chris grabbed my hand and pulled me next to him on the couch, wrapping his arms around me and resting his head on top of mine. His beating heart slowed to normal as we sat together.

“Staying in?” he whispered to me. “Best idea ever.”

Chapter Fifteen

M
IA SPRINTED AHEAD OF ME
into the karate studio and I followed her, whistling. I plopped a Styrofoam cup of coffee in front of Zoey. “Hey, it’s my favorite sister.”

“We’re going to get ice cream after karate tonight!” Mia announced, jumping up and down.

“That’s right.” I kissed the top of her head. “It’s a great day, so why not? Have fun.” She skipped through the door into the gym and I leaned against the desk, propping my folded hands under my chin as I grinned at my sister. “So, Zoe, how’s everything?”

Zoey had been staring at me with her mouth hanging open since I walked into the room. “Holy shit, you had sex.”

“
No.
Give me some credit. I’ve only known the guy for three weeks.”

“It’s been longer than three weeks.”

“Three weeks and three days.” I smirked at her. “But who’s counting?”

“So how long are you going to wait to have sex? Four weeks?”

The giddiness evaporated from my body, and I sighed. “I really have to tell him about what happened before we do that, but I keep putting it off. This afternoon I was going to tell him …”
but instead, I rode his hand like a pony.

“He’ll be okay with it, Brooke.”

I shook my head. “I got raped and then was paid off to keep my mouth shut. Yeah, I couldn’t control what Pierce did, but taking money is not the most admirable thing in the world.”

“You know damn well that if you had pressed charges, nothing would have happened. It would have gotten settled out of court, and you would have been all over the news.”

There was a bottle of hand sanitizer on the counter. I reached for it.

Zoey pulled it away. “You don’t need it.”

I nodded but rubbed my hands together anyway. “If I didn’t take the money and leave, then I don’t know if I would have had Mia. I don’t know how my mind would have worked when I was at the doctor’s office. If I had known that Pierce would have a right to see her, then I-I might have …”

She shook her head. “Don’t think like that.”

“Trust me, I don’t want to.”

“What’s really bothering you about this?”

“It’s a few things,” I said slowly. Chris conceived a baby with someone he loved, and she got rid of it. It was going to mess with his head so much that I was raped and kept mine. Then he was going to find out that I accepted money in exchange for silence. I was paid for sex like a whore. “Everything I’ve tried so hard to ignore for years, I can’t do anymore. I have to deal with it now.”

“Well, I’m here. For whatever you decide.”

“I know. Thanks, Zoe.” I squeezed her hand from across the counter and decided to change the subject. “So, Mia’s party is on Saturday. I have all the plates and decorations and stuff. What time do you want us here to set up?”

“At nine, I guess. That will give us two hours before the party starts. Plenty of time.” She tapped her fingers on the desk for a moment and then clapped her hands together. “Oh! Listen. We’re going to the beach on Sunday and wanted to take Mia with us. So this is perfect! You can talk to Chris. If you want. Or do whatever you two have been doing.”

It sounded like a win-win situation. Mia loved the beach, and she would get to spend time with Zoey’s family. And I could finally talk to Chris.

“Sounds like a good idea.” And I wasn’t backing down this time.

* * *

As promised, we stopped for ice cream on the way home. By the time we pulled into the driveway, Mia had so much chocolate on her face that it looked like she had a goatee.

“Say cheese.”

I snapped her picture on my phone and held it up so she could see it. She laughed and ran inside, then stopped in front of the bathroom mirror and made faces at herself.

“Come on, messy girl,” I said. “Let’s clean you up and then we can make the bags for you to give to your friends at your party.”

Mia smiled, the white of her teeth contrasting against the chocolate that surrounded her mouth. “My party will be super fun, Mom.”

“It will be. Are you excited?”

“Yeah!”

I gave her a bath, and then got three of the million bags of party supplies we had picked out last week. “Okay, here we go.”

Mia opened up all of the little packages and proudly placed boxes of chalk, necklaces, sunglasses, rings, and toy ponies in each bag. I watched her, realizing that these party favors hugely catered to girls. And there were four boys coming to the party.

Someone was going to the store tomorrow.

“Come on; let’s brush your teeth and then we’ll read a story.”

“Can’t I have five more minutes?”

“How about we read two stories?”

“Okay!”

We headed to the bathroom, and I looked at the little cups on the side of the vanity. “Have you been getting more bubbles in your throat?”

“Yes.” She nodded, giving me her best pathetic look. I’d seen it many times; normally it was when she really wanted a certain toy or for me to buy cookies.

“You poor girl. Is it going to be there at your party when it’s time for that cake with purple frosting?”

“Oh, no. It will be much better then.”

* * *

After working for a few hours the next day, I took a break to swing by the store and get some stuff for the boys. After grabbing bags of toy dinosaurs, little airplanes, and bouncy balls, I remembered that next week was going to be my scheduled monthly visit from Aunt Flo, and I needed tampons. I headed toward the health section, searching for the right aisle.

And there was Chris, in the next aisle, looking down at something he was holding. “Chris?”

He turned toward me, his mouth falling open and face turning pink as he tossed whatever he was looking at back on the shelf. “Hey.”

I frowned at his reaction but shrugged it off as I headed toward him. He had obviously just been working; his hair was messy and his clothes had sawdust on them. I had probably just caught him off guard. “Hi. I had to get some last-minute stuff for Mia’s party
.”
It was probably best not to mention the tampons yet.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other and gave me a little smile. “Cool. Um, walk with me? I need toothpaste.”

Fake smile.
“Uh, sure.” I started to follow him, glancing at the display he was looking at.

My feet glued themselves to the floor. I stared at the rows of boxes, hypnotized.

He was looking at condoms?

“Brooke.” Chris was a few feet from me, his voice slightly shaky.

Well, this was awkward.

“I didn’t come here intending to buy those. I just came down this aisle and saw them and started thinking … like the other day, I didn’t have any, and I thought maybe I should be prepared—” He rubbed the top of his head. “This is coming out all wrong. Brooke, you know I don’t expect that from you. Right?”

I focused on the only out of place box, obviously the one he threw when he saw me coming. “The jumbo box, huh?” My mouth had way too much spit in it, and I swallowed. “Someone has big plans.” I finally looked back at him. His face was neon pink, and since mine was on fire, I was sure I matched.

“I was just looking. I swear. I know we’re not there yet.” His eyes locked with mine, drowning in sincerity, and I knew he was telling the truth.

And the thing was, I wanted to be there. I wanted to tell him everything that happened, and then make love to him. I
hated
that Pierce was the last guy inside of me. I wanted it to be Chris.

“Brooke?” Chris’s voice pulled me out of my thoughts.

I smiled at him. “I know. You’ve been nothing but perfect. And understanding. But I don’t want to have this conversation in the middle of a store with a million boxes of condoms next to us.”

He instantly relaxed. “Yeah, okay.”

“But we do need to talk. Are you busy on Sunday?”

“No. I was hoping to hang out with you and Mia.”

“Well, it’s just going to be me. Mia’s going to the beach with Zoey and Kyle. So we’ll talk then?”

He nodded and flashed his uneven smile. “Yes, definitely.”

“Okay.” I looked at the pile of party favors in my arms. “I better get going, but I’ll see you at Mia’s party?”

“Of course. Ryder can’t wait.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “Do you need help carrying all of that stuff?”

“Nah, I got it. Bye.” I headed toward the tampon aisle.

After catching Chris with condoms, I didn’t think him seeing me with tampons was such a big deal anymore.

Chapter Sixteen

W
HEN I WOKE UP AT
six thirty on Saturday morning, I knew Mia wouldn’t be getting up for at least another hour and a half. Hell, I’d probably have to wake her. After getting ready for the day, I decided to bring the party supplies out to my car while I was thinking about it.

Loaded with bags, I headed down the front steps.

“Brooke!”

Chris jogged over to me, wearing his running clothes, including his shirt, which was disappointing
.
He wasn’t sweaty, so he must have just been about to start. “Hey,” he said. “Let me help you.”

My heart flipped as he came closer to me and took the bags on my left arm. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He wrapped his arm around my shoulders as we headed toward my car. “I wanted to make sure things are okay between us. After yesterday.”

“You mean will things be awkward because I caught you holding a huge box of condoms?” I popped my trunk and stared at him.

His eyes widened, but then I started laughing. He shook his head, smiling. “You’re such a smartass. I guess that’s a no.”

“We’re going to treat it like the texting incident. It never happened. But we’re still going to talk tomorrow.”