Beyond The Limit (26 page)

C
ALI AWOKE SLOWLY
. Calmness inhabited her, not terror. That was new and different. Every morning she woke up feeling jittery and frazzled. Not today. She heard the melodic call of a robin outside the window. Barely opening her eyes, she realized the first rays of the sun had come over the horizon, setting the tips of the Douglas firs ablaze with gold fire.

Something was different. And wonderful. Sighing softly, she felt Pete's heavy arm around her waist, secure and comforting. His other arm rested beneath her neck on the pillow they shared. She was sleeping in Pete's embrace. The realization was sweet, poignant and filled with promise. As Cali listened to his sonorous breathing against the back of her neck, felt his moist breath flowing across her skin, a tender smile pulled at the corners of her mouth. Instead of waking this morning with death inhabiting her soul, she felt lightness and hope.

A miracle had occurred last night. Out of the raw, tortured darkness, Cali had not only found safety in Pete's arms, she'd discovered the sweetness of her real feelings for him. Pete could have tried to kiss her, grope her and taken her to bed for sex. Instead he'd held her, rocked her and tried to assuage the pain she was going through.

Once more, he had shown a maturity that few men would have in the same situation, and it blew Cali away. A dulcet heat flowed out of her heart and rippled through her body. She felt an ache, primal and intense, building within her. Pete was asleep, and yet they curved and flowed against one another like puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly together.

She lay there listening to his breathing, relishing his male strength holding her as if she were a priceless, fragile object. She couldn't bring herself to reestablish the defensive barriers her mind wanted her to erect. Before, Cali had always been able to logically explain away her hunger for Pete, her need of him as a friend and confidant. Russ had been that reason. But not now. Closing her eyes for a moment, Cali realized she had no answers to the dilemmas that faced them back at the job site, or the fact that Pete would leave in a year for another assignment. Just the thought of separation sent a terrible, ragged pain through her heart.

Opening her eyes, Cali understood something her mother had taught her. “Honey,” her mom would tell her very seriously, “life isn't for cowards. You have to step out on the plank and leap off, even though you can't see where you'll land, or if it's safe or dangerous. Living life is about taking risks and chances. It's about surrendering and having faith that whatever you decide, there's an invisible safety net out there. But you'll never know it before you make that leap, Cali. You'll only see it appear after you've shown the cosmos that you have the heart and blind faith to go ahead and make that jump.”

Well, Cali was going to do exactly that right now. She was going to take the greatest gamble in her life: love Pete. She was going to risk everything—her heart, her soul, her career and life as she knew it. Cali was going to let him know that she loved him so fiercely it stole her breath every time she tapped into that core energy.

Turning over, she slowly sat up. The quilt fell away. Pete shifted onto his back, his right arm flopping down beside his body. He stirred. Taking off her robe, Cali then pulled the nightgown over her head. She watched as Pete's black lashes fluttered. His mouth was beautifully shaped, strong and male. After dropping both silk garments to the cedar floor beside the bed, Cali eased down beside Pete and faced him. Her fingers moved slowly and sinuously up across his flat, hard belly to his wide, thickly haired chest.

It was so easy to lean closer, until she was touching his warm, firm flesh. Cali sought and found Pete's parted mouth. The moment her lips met his, she felt him come fully awake. She saw his lashes lift and those dove-gray eyes grow intense with new awareness. As her lips caressed his mouth, lingering and exploring, she felt his arm wrap around her.

“I want to love you, Pete,” Cali whispered against his mouth, trailing her tongue across his lower lip. “Right now, right here…” And she pressed her naked form fully against his tensing, muscular body.

“Cali, are you sure?”

Pete's voice was still thick with sleep, but his words carried an urgency in them. Lifting her head so that she could look down at him, Cali said, “There has been one constant in my life this past year, Pete, and that's you. Last night, I made a breakthrough of sorts.” She gazed deeply into his stormy eyes. “My need for you is really about loving you. Love. And that's why I want to be with you now. If you don't feel the same, it's okay. I'll understand.”

Cali tried to steel herself for his rejection. She saw so many emotions, vivid and readable, pass through his widening eyes. It was the last look, one of tenderness, that made her heart melt. Pete reached up and framed her face with his callused hands.

“Cali, I love you, too. I don't know when it happened, or how. I fought it just as hard as you did.” Pete slid his fingers across her smooth, soft cheek. “Last night I couldn't stand by and watch your pain or your tears. I realized then I was just playing a mind game with myself about how I really felt toward you. I was scared, though. I have one hell of a past to be wary of. I didn't want to make the same mistakes as before. You are…too precious to me, Cali. I was afraid to call what I felt for you anything except need, for fear of screwing up again.”

Giving her head a shake, Cali shared a smile with him. “I felt the same, only for different reasons. Right now, I need to love you, Pete. We've denied ourselves for so long. You're a part of my healing process, and I know it. How I feel toward you has been there from the day I met you, not just since the kidnapping. All that brush with death did was bring my feelings for you to the surface. I want to love you, if you want to love me in return, Pete.”

His arm tightened around her, and Cali felt the air rush out of her lungs as he crushed her against him. His body hardened beneath her own and he hotly returned her fevered kiss.

Wordlessly, Cali moved her palm in a caress across Pete's torso to the elastic waistband of his pajamas. With a few simple movements, she pushed them off his narrow hips and down his legs. Pete kicked them aside. Now he was completely naked, taut and hard beneath her eager body. As she pressed insistently against his hips, Cali heard him groan. The wonderful sound reverberated through her like thunder on a hot summer afternoon. His mouth was demanding, and she opened fully to him.

His hand wove teasingly down her spine, leaving a trail of fire in its wake. He grasped her hips and positioned her against his demanding length. Drowning in his stormy gaze, Cali wrapped her legs around his and moved down upon him. As he slid into her hot, eager depths, her eyes closed. Lips caressing her breast, Pete began to suckle her nipple and heat erupted throughout her hungry form. She surged rhythmically against him and felt the moorings of her mind disintegrating as the two of them fused into a fiery oneness.

All Cali wanted in this moment was to love Pete as fully as her heart, soul and body had yearned to do for so long. Absorbed in their passionate union, she felt an incredible explosion occur, sending white-hot fire emanating from her womanly core. Seconds later, she felt Pete's body grow rigid, bending like a taut bow against her own. Together, they rode the volcanic eruption that each had been wanting to share for so very, very long.

How long Cali clung to Pete and rode that crescendo of heat and blinding light, she didn't know. Finally, sobbing for breath, she felt Pete tuck her beside him. She smiled up at him and slid her arm around his damp shoulder. Pete was so strong. So male. And so gentle with her. “I love you, Pete Trayhern.”

The words, husky and filled with rich emotion, flowed through Pete like the brightness of a rainbow after a fierce, transforming storm. He grasped her hip with his hand and gazed deeply into her half-opened emerald eyes. Cali's mouth was soft and well kissed. Feeling drained and hot at the same time, glorying in the look she was giving him, Pete returned her smile.

“And I've loved you from the day I set eyes on you, Cali Roland.”

Pushing her fingers through his damp hair, she whispered, “I did, too, Pete, but I was too much of a coward to admit it.”

He caressed her tousled hair. “You've never been a coward, Cali. Not ever.”

She trembled and said in a low voice, “Pete, I have something about my past I need to share with you. It was the reason I fought so hard and long against loving you.” Taking a deep breath, Cali launched into the explanation. “Russ Turner was a mechanical engineer on my last project, over in Bahrain. He worked for the owner. Over time, he courted me. Oh, he said and did all the right things, Pete. Brought me flowers, candy and the rest. I fell for it. The whole dance was nothing more than a manipulation to get me into his bed. Afterward, he started to ask me to lie on some paperwork between my father's company and the owner. I refused to do it. I couldn't believe he'd cheat on specifications. When I said I wouldn't, he produced a videotape of us making love.”

Pete scowled, seeing the anguish in her eyes, “He
what?
”

“He wanted to blackmail me. He said if I didn't cheat on the specs to cover up mistakes he'd made, that he was going to put the tape on the Internet and ruin not only my career, but my family's company.”

“That son of a bitch,” Pete breathed, gently moving strands of her red hair behind her ear. “What did you do?”

“I was panicked. I went to my dad. It was so scary, Pete. I knew I had to tell him and I felt so ashamed, so embarrassed.”

“Anyone would, Cali.” Pete lay back and stared up at the ceiling. No wonder she had been so formal and standoffish at the site. Cali had to have been reeling from this awful experience. It all made so much sense now as he replayed those early months they'd spent getting to know one another at the job site.

“At the time,” Cali admitted, pain in her hushed tone, “I wasn't sure of anything. I was running scared. I'd never encountered someone so manipulative or controlling. My father listened without judgment. I was so grateful for his understanding. He said he'd take care of it.”

“How?”

“My dad went to the owner and told him everything. They had been long-time friends in the field, so he was able to persuade Mark Stilwell that Russ was the culprit, not me. Stilwell got the videotape from Russ and fired him on the spot.”

“That was good,” Pete said, relieved. Stroking her hair, he added, “The damage had been done to you, though, sweetheart.”

Arching at the softly spoken endearment, Cali said, “Russ was vindictive, Pete. He was fired from the job, a letter of reprimand put in his personnel file. Wanting to get even with me, with my father's company, he stayed outside the site gate and told anyone who would listen lies about me, and how I'd gotten him fired.”

“Damn…”

“Yes, and for two months after that, Russ hung around and spread all kinds of lurid gossip about me in the nearby villages, about what we did in bed together, and how bad Roland Construction was.” She shook her head and avoided Pete's sharpened gaze. Finally, forcing herself to face him, Cali added in an anguished voice, “So many of the hard hats believed him. I couldn't defend myself, I was one woman in an Islamic country and they all believed Russ. I had so many management problems with our subcontractors because of that. It was the worst nightmare of my life. Well, I'll amend that. The worst was the kidnapping, and thinking Ahmed was going to shoot me in the head.”

“I didn't know, Cali,” Pete said apologetically. He cupped her face and saw the tears swimming in her eyes. “What did you do about Russ? Someone—the owner—should have stopped that gossip.” Pete sure as hell would have. In a heartbeat.

“Stilwell finally acted and sent Russ back to the States.” She turned her face and pressed a kiss to Pete's callused palm. His touch was so steadying.

“Finally! I wouldn't have let that bastard hang around to do that kind of damage to you, to the project.” Pete kissed her lips. “It's over now, Cali. There are people like Russ in our world. And not just in the construction industry. You did the right things, though. I'm sure it was a managerial hell for you, with men thinking you were the reason for Russ being fired. But it's over, Cali. You're here with me. This connection we have is more than I thought I'd ever have in my life. I hope you feel the same way.”

“We had so many problems to overcome.”

Pete whispered against her lips, “Whatever problems are thrown at us we'll handle together, Cali. Last night when you were standing there in such tortured pain, I recalled my mother's words and wisdom about need. I knew then my need of you was based upon love. That's what love is all about, I realized. We can hold one another through the storms that swirl around us.” Pete lifted his head and met her teary eyes. “And we can share the joy, just as we are doing now, during the good times.” Caressing her hip, Pete gazed down the length of her firm, womanly body. “You are so beautiful to me, Cali,” he said, his heart expanding with a fierce love for this courageous woman.

The words were like a warm, soothing balm to her soul. Cali lay there wondering why she'd fought loving him for so long. Pete was nothing like Russ. Yet Cali knew that her wound had been so fresh and deep that she had been projecting her hurt onto Pete, who was the diametric opposite of Russ. Understanding that she needed time and space to see the difference, Cali felt at peace with the year-long process that had brought them to this place. “Sometimes, Pete, I get hardheaded.”