Beyond the Pine (12 page)

Riley

After close to an hour of lying tangled in each other, the sun begins to set and I know our time has come to an end. We slowly surrender and stand, neither of us eager to face the inevitable fate waiting for us on the other side of the stable door.

Asher’s trying his best to keep me smiling, both of us knowing it’s little more than a distraction to the reality that’s eating away at me from the inside.

As I pull my panties up my legs, I feel his eyes on me and can barely keep the buzz in my chest at bay. I’m facing the wall on the opposite side of the vacant stall when I feel him press his front to my back, slipping his hand between my thighs.

His large, calloused hand covers me there, his grip rougher than before as he squeezes slightly and buries his lips into my neck with a hum.

“My sweet, forbidden fruit,” he husks as his free hand travels upward, taking my bare breast in his hand, the heat from his breath traveling to my cheeks enough to light everything around us on fire. “You sore, sugar?”

“A little,” I admit, stifling a whimper as his hand begins massaging me gently over the thin cotton.

“Soak in a warm bath tonight. It’ll ease the soreness, help with the bleeding,” he starts, pressing his lips to my jaw, his beard brushing over my shoulder as his mouth turns up into a soft smile. “Here, let me help you.”

“With what?” I ask, turning to find a wide grin playing on his full lips.

“You have hay in your hair,” he chuckles, plucking the golden intrusions away as his eyes dance in amusement.

The sight of him, his long hair down and wild from our lovemaking, his eyes crinkling in the corners with his boyish smile in an attempt to hide the sorrow so plainly lingering in them, it tugs at my emotions. I know I should take this happy moment and embrace it, not let it become tainted like everything else, but I can’t keep my worries locked inside.

“What are we supposed to do, Asher?” I ask, hating the crack in my voice as his eyes fall to mine, the joy in them slowly fading. “How can we go back out there and just lie to everyone? How can I go back to this life knowing it’s not one I want?”

“You don’t have to, Riley,” he whispers, running the pad of his thumb over my cheek before cradling my face in his palm.

“Yes, Asher,” I sigh, covering his hand with my own. “Yes, I do. There’s no place for me beyond the pine.”

“There is,” he disagrees.

His words make my head spin, unable to find the logic in them. Although I’ve barely tasted the world outside this place, I know enough of him, of myself, to know how completely different it is from mine. I’d love nothing more than to believe him. In fact, there was a time not so long ago, I probably would have believed anything anyone told me. However, if the past few weeks have shown me anything, it’s that you can’t trust everything you’re told. Before I can cling to the hope his simple words try and give me, my disbelief slips past my lips.

“Where?”

“Beside me,” he breathes, pressing his lips to my forehead as he pulls me close, wrapping his arm around my waist. “Your place would be beside me, Riley.”

I say nothing, the surprise at his statement rocking through me as he misunderstands it for something else.

“I know it’s scary,” he starts, not letting me argue as he bends to press his lips to my forehead. Bending to pick up my discarded dress, he shakes it clean and pulls it over my head. “I’ll never take you from your home, Riley, but if you want me, if you want
this
...” he trails off, tracing the pad of his thumb over my lower lip. “We can figure it out.”

“Asher...”

“Don’t say anything else,” he cuts me off, shaking his head as he pulls his clothes on and holds my eyes. “You think about what
you
want, don’t let what’s happened between us cloud your judgment. I’m not going anywhere. Not right now, anyway.”

“But you are?” I start, my voice low. “You
are
planning to leave the farm?”

“Riley, I’ll stay as long as I can. There aren’t many things I wouldn’t endure to be near you, sugar,” he promises as he pulls his shirt on, facing me. “But watching you give yourself to another man? That’s something I can’t do.”

His words have sadness coursing through me, sadness I understand but am unsure of how to resolve. I give him a quick nod, drying my tears and releasing a low, shallow breath. I’m waiting to follow him out when he glances down at me, releasing a sigh.

“You go first,” he offers, gesturing toward the door. “It’ll look less suspicious that way if anyone sees us leaving.”

“Okay,” I agree, turning to face him once more. He’d told me he’d been released from the infirmary and would be staying here to work, but we’d not been able to talk much more than that. The thought of not knowing when I’d see him again, taste his lips, had fear coursing through my chest. “Asher, when...?”

“I’ll find you,” he vows.

“Do you swear it?”

“Of course,” he nods, giving me the best smile he can manage.

I nod my understanding, not sure I can say more while keeping my composure as I reach the door.

“Riley,” he calls out quietly, his gravelly voice breaking the silence in the stables. I turn to face him, finding his face angled down toward the heavy riding boots on his feet, but his eyes focused on me. “Before? That favor you asked of me?”

“Yes?” I manage, my heart fluttering back to life for a moment despite its despair.

“It wasn’t a lie.”

His words hit me, but I swallow them as I nod.

“I know,” I admit, my heart constricting in my chest as I discreetly brush away the traitor tear.

“Go, baby,” he rasps out, looking away for a moment as he releases a low sigh. “Before someone sees you.”

Somehow knowing any more resistance will only mean trouble for us both, I force myself from the safety of the stables.

The sound of the large wooden door behind me, separating me from the only thing that will heal my troubled soul, seems so much heavier than it had before.

I’d just gotten what I wanted.

For the first time in my life, I’d taken control of a piece of my fate, given myself to the man who’d already placed his claim on my heart.

I should be happy, feel free, but I don’t.

I feel shackled to this place in ways I never knew I could, ways I never thought were possible.

As soon as I close the door behind me in the small stone cabin I’d called home my whole life, I fall into a crumpled mass on the floor, finally letting it swallow my soul.

Asher

As I watch her leave the stables, I swallow the emotion coursing through me and rake my hands over my face. With a long, exhausted sigh, I lean back against the wall behind me, letting everything sink in.

I’d just taken her, just tasted the very skin I’d been agonizing over since they’d found me on the side of the road all those weeks ago.

I got what I wanted. I should be happy.

If I was smart, I’d revert to the asshole I was before she found me on the other side of that tree line.

I’d take her warning seriously, work on my bike and find a way to get the hell out of here while I still can. Ditch this place like I’d planned all along.

I can’t though.

I’d known it just as well as then as I do know that when I whispered the words of love she’d needed to hear it was just as much for myself as for her.

A part of me wishes it hadn’t been. A huge part of me knows falling for Riley is the thing that’s going to cost me...
both of us
... everything.

I sit for a few minutes, giving her time to get home undetected and me time to process everything that just happened.

Once the sun’s finally set, I lift myself from the bench we’d spent so many hours on and head out into the night.

Everything had happened so quickly, things had taken such a turn, I hadn’t even had the chance to tell her I’d be staying next door to her in Josiah’s cabin.

Reluctant to go back to my temporary home just yet, I stop by the infirmary, slipping in through the small divider beside my previous neighbor, Josiah.

He’s lying in his cot, eyes shut tight as he dutifully whispers his prayers, looking calm despite the disease running through his ragged body. Although I’m doing everything I can to stay silent, not wanting to disturb him, his eyelids flutter open a moment later, finding me sitting in the chair beside his bed.

“Asher,” he says, his voice tired and rugged with age. “How are you, my boy?”

“I’m good,” I lie, giving him a small smile as I lean forward on my knees. “How ‘bout you, old-timer? How’re you feeling tonight?”

“Blessed,” he replies, same as always. “Just saying my nightly prayers.”

“Don’t let me keep you from it,” I offer, smiling when he nods silently and lets his eyes drift shut once more.

During my time in the infirmary, I’d been confined to the bed just on the other side of the thin curtain next to his cot.

Long nights of pain and uncertainty on both sides of that fabric paved the way for our unlikely friendship. On nights when sleep wasn’t an option for either of us, we lie awake inside these walls, talking about most everything.

I’d thought I had it all figured out pretty well before I found myself inside this place, but after a few nights talking with Josiah, I realize how wrong I’d been about most things.

Life, the world, these walls... most of all, I’d been wrong about Riley.

Night after night, we’d start on one subject or another, but more often than not, we’d always end up coming back to her.

Although my fascination with her started the moment our eyes met, I didn’t know a thing about the girl until I talked to Josiah. She’d opened up to me since, but before then, I fed my infatuation by talking to the man in the cot beside mine night after night.

And so a friendship was born. A friendship I never thought I’d needed, but was more and more grateful with each passing day. It was through those talks that I first met the girl who had come to rule my thoughts. At the start of it, I’d thought the loneliness was something only I’d struggled with. However, the more I talked to him, the more I realized loneliness is something we’re all born with. It’s a demon we all fight.

It was loneliness that brought Riley into both of our lives.

A few moments of silence pass, both of our minds on those who saved our souls.

“Do you pray, Asher?” he asks, his low voice breaking my thoughts.

“I didn’t used to,” I admit. “I’m finding myself thinking about talking to someone up there more and more every day, though.”

“That’s good, boy,” he says quietly, trailing off for a moment before he continues. “You know, I didn’t used to much either. Caroline, my wife, she prayed all the time. It was when I met her that I started.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Hmm,” he nods, lost in the memory. “I used to pray she’d give a rascal like me the time of day,” he chuckles weakly. “Then I prayed for a little while she wouldn’t leave when the winter of her life first grew cold,” he muses. “I’m sad to say I stopped praying there for a while,” he sighs. “I took her for granted, thought she’d always be at my side. You can’t ever do that, boy,” he says, meeting my eyes seriously. “Eventually, I saw the light, started prayin’ for her again. By then, it was too late, though. She was already on her way back to the Lord. All I could do was pray she’d have a good trip back on home. That’s the hardest part, I think. Knowing you’re gonna lose the one that holds the other side of your soul and all you can do is pray they don’t hurt as bad as you do...”

For a moment, I say nothing, simply nodding my understanding as I take in his words. I wonder silently if he understands just how much they hit home and I’m still struggling for some words of substance when his voice breaks through my thoughts again.

“If it wasn’t for Riley, I’m not sure I would have kept up on prayin’,” he admits, his eyes finding mine as they slowly begin to dance with the promise of a smile. “You know, after her daddy died and my Caroline was real bad off, Riley used to sneak over to our place real early every morning. Her momma used to get on to her about botherin’ us,” he chuckles. “‘Course that girl couldn’t bother a horsefly, she’s always been such a sweet and loving soul, much too good for this world...”

He trails off, the corners of his mouth turning up at the corners, making me jealous as he thinks back to a time when I’d never know her. Like anyone who’s ever truly loved another, I’m eager to know more, but night after night of listening to his stories had taught me much.

It might take him a minute to get the whole thing told, but by the time he laid that story all out on the table, it would be worth the time we’d both invested in it.

Didn’t matter much to me anyway. I’d just spent all the time I could with Riley today and I’d have a long, sleepless night in front of me in Josiah’s cabin before I could see her again.

“She didn’t listen anyhow,” he finally says, pulling me back. “There used to be a garden back there behind our houses. Back when Caroline was young and we’d first come to the farm, she’d spend hours out there, tending to it. Once she couldn’t anymore, though, all that was left was a row of stones that go between Riley’s back door and ours. Every morning, even some nights when the worry would keep her up, she’d sneak over across the garden stones to check on Caroline, despite her mama’s warnings,” he continues, giving me an odd look. “I always thought it was a wonder she never got spooked. It’s so dark back there, no one, not even her mama, ever saw Riley comin’ and goin’.”

The old eyes staring back at me begin to twinkle with something that looks like truth with a little mischief thrown in. Like he’s telling me a secret he thinks maybe I already know. I’m about to ask him about it when he cuts me off again.

“’Course, my Caroline didn’t make it, but Riley taught me a lesson I’ll never forget, Asher.”

“What’s that?”

“You want something bad enough, you don’t tend to care what the rest of the world has to say about it.”