Authors: Kate Benson
Asher
I’ve never been afraid of a little hard work, but halfway through my day on the east end tending to crops, I feel as though my body has better ideas.
I’d left early, unable to sleep before my long day began. Once Riley snuck back to her cabin, I spent my final hours of solitude awake, staring at the ceiling in Josiah’s room. Long before I was ready for it, the sun was slowly rising, the light seeping in through the window signaling my need to shake her, if only for a few hours.
I put my head down and tow the land, busying my thoughts on other things so that I can get through the day as quickly as possible. This morning when she left, I’d promised her I’d sneak over once it was dark enough for me to go unnoticed. I hated that it had come to this between us, but our hands were tied and I’d take what I could get while I could get it.
By the time the bell rings signaling days’ end, I’m not sure I’ve ever been so tired. I know a big part of it is my body still recuperating from my injuries, that’s true. However, I’d be foolish to think that’s all it is. The better part of my exhaustion is due to the turmoil we’re enduring with each passing day.
Since my arrival on the farm, there are many things I’m not used to, but the hardest thing by far has been not being able to take what I want, come and go as I please. Being on the road for months at a time, patience isn’t something that came naturally for me at all. I’ve tried to extend it more for her, but when it came to rest of the world, I just didn’t care enough to try.
As I climb the old, rickety, wooden steps up to Josiah’s door, I see her. She’s making her way back from the square, a few tendrils of her dark hair having fallen around her cheeks to frame her face. I know I should head right in, pretend I don’t see her, but something deep inside me won’t allow it. I turn on my heels and make my way towards her, her sweet scent enough to drive a man to drink. I admire the slight dip in her collarbone, the light sheen of sweat that shimmers off her skin and I ache to taste her. Once my eyes meet hers, though, I see the frantic expression she’s holding and something else takes over.
“Riley?” I say low, my eyes shifting around to make sure we’re not attracting too much attention. “You okay, sugar?”
“Yes,” she lies, her head nodding quickly as she swallows hard, avoiding my gaze. “Yes, I’m fine, Ash...”
“You’re lying,” I cut her off, but no malice is in my tone at all. I know Riley well enough to know that lying isn’t something that comes second nature. “Riley, what’s wrong? What happened?”
Her eyes meet mine, the look of fear and longing dancing in them for a moment before they quickly shift away, surveying our surroundings. When she, too, sees that we’re in safe distance from the others, she returns her gaze to me, speaking at a whisper.
“Not right now,” she starts, her arms shifting uncomfortably with the weight of the basket she’s holding. “Tonight, Asher,” she promises. “Promise you’ll be by?”
“Yes,” I vow, swallowing hard at the idea of her keeping yet another secret that may put her in danger. “Yes, sugar, I swear it.”
“Okay,” she nods, her features softening with slight relief before she squares her shoulders, her voice rising to a normal level. “Be blessed, Asher.”
“And you,” I call after her, knowing I should go inside, wash the day from my skin.
I can’t though, not for a long moment at least. For a long moment, all I can do is stare after her, worrying for her burden as if it was my own.
It is, Asher...
I remind myself as I make my way back toward Josiah’s, closing myself in.
From the first moment you saw her, you relinquished your control.
***
By the time the sun has set, I’m nearly crawling out of my skin to see her. I slip on my dark leather coat and slip out the back door, cloaked in the darkness as I seek refuge in the trees. The light from the lantern she’s placed in the window illuminates the small space. I can see her moving in the kitchen, my mind mesmerized by the way her long, dark hair pours over her shoulders, brushing her waist. I’m falling under her spell as she lightly taps her fingertip against her lower lip when her eyes meet mine through the window. She rises and moves to the doorway, thrusting it open quickly before pulling me inside and shutting it tight behind us.
“What are you doing?” she asks, her voice hushed.
“Nothin’,” I smirk as I speak low, my hushed tone matching hers playfully. “Just watchin’ you.”
“Oh,” she blushes, her lips trembling as I bend to taste them. “I wasn’t sure you’d come.”
“I told you I would,” I say. “I might not have many redeeming qualities, Riley, but I’m a man of my word.”
She smiles, saying nothing for a long while she studies me carefully. I’m about to ask her what she’s thinking when her soft voice breaks our silence.
“Asher, if I show you something, do you promise you’ll keep it secret?” she asks. “Can you give me your word about that?”
“Of course,” I nod as I brush my thumb over its place on her waist, savoring in the feel of her skin though the thin cotton of her gown. “What’s the matter, baby?”
“I don’t know,” she sighs, shaking her head as she looks up at me. “I just... I was helping Reverend Tucker go through the files today for inventory. Every couple of months, he sends a few men into town to gather supplies and that time is coming so he asked me to help him put together a list.”
“Yeah?”
“Well, I was going through the files for the infirmary this morning and I was nearly done when I found something. Something I’m sure I wasn’t supposed to see.”
“What was it?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowing in concern when I see her beginning to nervously chew on her lower lip.
“Come with me,” she says, pulling away from my grip and slipping her hand in mine. “Come with me and I’ll show you.”
As she leads me through the small, humble house she calls home, I try to take in my surroundings, but find it difficult to do as I also focus on her distress. By the time we make it to her small bedroom, she’s all but shaking.
She sets the lantern on the bedside table, releasing a sigh as she bends at her knees, reaching for something beneath the mattress.
“I had to hide it until I can sneak it back into his office,” she admits, producing a thin file folder and sitting on her bed, facing me. “If anyone finds out I have it...”
“I’ll take it to the grave,” I promise, cutting her off and pulling a nod from her. “What is it?”
“I told you Reverend Tucker is married? That his wife has been very sick?” she starts, making me nod. “Well, aside from the first couple of weeks, she’s never been to the infirmary. The Reverend has always insisted Rebecca tend to her at the main house, their home, the one at the top of the hill on the west end of the farm.”
I nod my understanding, but say nothing, waiting for her to piece everything together for me.
“He’s always said she’s been too ill to leave the house and from what Rebecca’s said, she’s not likely to recover from her illness. I didn’t want to believe it, but I saw her recently and...” she stops speaking for a moment, swallowing hard passed the emotion. “Asher, I’m afraid it’s far worse than I could have imagined.”
“That’s terrible,” I say, reaching across to brush the stray tear from her cheek.
“It is,” she agrees, releasing a sigh. “At first, she seemed okay. Obviously not well, but she seemed to be managing. However, shortly before I left the main house, her symptoms were unlike any I’ve ever seen before. I didn’t understand until now.”
“And whatever’s in this file, it’s about her?”
“Yes,” she starts. “It contains everything about her diagnoses, her treatment, all of it.”
“What’s she sick with?”
“That’s the thing, Asher,” she whispers, her sweet voice suddenly mangled with fear. “I don’t think she ever had anything. I’ve looked over these papers a half a dozen times and none of it makes sense to me. There’s only one logical explanation for what’s in this folder and... I can’t…”
She trails off, her head shaking with indignation as she struggles to find sense or acceptance in anything she’s thinking.
“What Riley?”
“When I was with her, she said something,” she starts, looking down at her hands for a moment before releasing a low sigh and giving her eyes back to me. “Something I haven’t been able to shake.”
I wait patiently for a long moment while she rolls the information around in her mind before finally, it’s eating at me.
“Well, what did she say?”
“She recited a scripture, Proverbs 25:10,” she starts. “Do you know it?”
Despite my best efforts, I give her a look that says she should know better, but instead of the judging look I’d expect from most people around here, Riley graciously nods her understanding.
“It says, ‘Do not reveal the secret of another or he who hears it will reproach you.’”
“Hmm... that’s weird,” I start, finally giving her a shrug. “What do you think she meant by it?”
“I wasn’t sure,” she admits with a sigh. “Brother Abraham came back before I could ask and then she fell asleep.”
“You didn’t know before, sugar. What about now?” I start, taking in the worry in her features, far more pronounced than I’d ever seen before. “What did you find in that file?”
“Asher,” she whispers, her eyes meeting mine again as she stifles a sob. “I’m not sure I can say it.”
“Riley, you can tell me,” I whisper, pressing my lips to her hair as she rests her head in her hands. “You can tell me anything.”
She takes a moment, collecting her breath before she glances back at me.
“What is it, baby?”
“Asher, I think she was warning me,” she admits, the severity in her words sending a chill through me. “Asher, nothing about her condition made sense before because she’s not sick with anything natural.”
“What are you saying, Riley?” I ask, knowing deep down exactly what she’s saying, but needing her to clarify for both of us.
“Asher, I think the Reverend has done something terrible to her,” she finally admits out, her breath barely above a whisper. “I think he’s the one making her sick.”
Riley
“Are you sure?” he asks calmly, the lack of shock in his features surprising me. “Riley, if you’re right about this, this is serious, babe.”
“I know, but I don’t see any other explanation,” I shake my head, pulling the paper I’d spent the most time studying from its place and handing it to him. “What illness would call for this kind of treatment, Asher? What ailment could possibly warrant herbs with such extreme side effects?” I continue, running my eyes over the page once more.
“Aren’t most of the treatments in the infirmary herbal remedies?”
“Yes, they are, but larkspur, moonflower, oleander, lilies, azalea blossoms, these aren’t meant for medical use. Things like these aren’t used in any of our treatments,” I shake my head, my eyes still glued on the paperwork I’m holding. “We keep our medicinal herbs in the store room behind the nurses’ station. I’ve never seen any of these, Asher.”
He’s nodding, taking in everything I’m saying as he strokes his long beard. After a moment of careful consideration, his eyes snap up to mine, his head shaking in disagreement.
“Wait a minute,” he starts. “Rebecca’s a good nurse, babe. Why would she knowingly go along with this?”
“She wouldn’t,” I say immediately. “There’s no way she knows what’s happening, Asher. She may be very loyal to the farm, to Reverend Tucker, but she would never be party to something like this.”
“Right,” he nods, taking the paper from me and giving them a look over before he drops them onto my bed and releases a sigh. “Okay, so what do we do?”
“We?” I ask, surprised with his words.
“Of course,” he shrugs, keeping his eyes locked on mine. “What? You thought you were going to tell me something like this and I’d just wish you luck?” he takes in the slight blush of my cheeks and releases a light chuckle that comes from deep within his chest. “Yeah, not likely, sugar.”
“Thank you,” I whisper, still stunned by his commitment to my well-being with everything considered.
“So, this plan of yours? What is it?”
“I don’t know,” I admit. “What
can
we do, Asher? Sister Rachel is completely confined to that house and even if I could make my way to her side, what good would that even do? If she’s been exposed to these things for this long, her body can’t take much more,” I explain, my eyes filling with tears as a chill runs through me, straight to my bones. “I just don’t understand. Why would anyone do this to another person? How could someone do this to their wife, Asher?”
“I don’t know, baby,” he admits, his eyes filled with compassion as he takes in my frantic state. “Come here,” he whispers, reaching for me and pulling me close, cradling my head against his chest. “I can’t give you the answers you’re searchin’ for, sugar, but I can promise you that as long as I’m near, nothing like that will ever happen to you,” he vows, pressing his lips to my hair. “I’d die before I let anyone hurt you.”
“Asher,” I whisper, pulling away to get a better look at him, craving the blue-green of his eyes. “I’m not sure I deserve such devotion from you. After all I’ve done, how can you still say...”
“I love you, Riley,” he cuts me off. “Everything else comes second. I’ll protect you as long as I can.”
My cheeks heat at his words, a combination of sadness and pure adoration coursing through me, the same way they always seem to when he says such things. I’m about to reply when his deep voice continues low.
“That blush on your skin suits you, sugar,” he whispers, his words coming out slightly raspier than it had just moments before as he reaches out, running the pad of his thumb over my lower lip, effectively setting my skin on fire. “I like being the one to put it there.”
His eyes are slightly hooded, the sound of his voice enough to put butterflies in my belly. He cups my jaw in his hand, the feel of his calloused skin on mine both energizing and relaxing me all at once.
“Me, too,” I admit, gently leaning into his palm, resting my hand over his. “Asher, I’m scared.”
“Don’t be, sugar,” he husks out, leaning forward to gently rest his forehead against mine. “I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. You can trust me. You know that, don’t you?”
Our eyes are locked, his lips so close I can feel them as they flutter against mine. Aside from our fleeting time together, there’s no reason I should trust him. He’s a virtual stranger, completely detached from the world as I’ve known it. However, as I hold his gaze, there’s something deep inside me that tells me I’m safer than I’ve ever been before.
Safer than I may ever be again.
“Yes,” I breathe, my worry drowning into the ever-growing need building inside me. “Yes, Asher.”
“Good girl,” he mewls low as he takes my mouth, kissing me deeply.
Gently, he stretches me out over the bed, the folder holding my worries being pushed to the side as he unfolds on top of me, swallowing my moans, tasting my flesh.
The entire world could cease to exist right now and I would never, ever know it.
***
I wake early, my muscles sore from worry and a late night with Asher. I glance over to the side of the bed he’d stretched out on after he’d taken me and release a low sigh. He’d left before the dawn in hopes of not being seen. I knew it was what was best, but the longing inside me made it easy to forget for a moment as I wished I could have woken up in his arms.
As much as I’d like to spend my morning lost in the memory of last night, I pull myself from the bed and dress quickly, eager to try and beat the Reverend to the chapel. I need to return the papers I’d shown Asher before he has the chance to realize they’d gone missing.
Far faster than normal, I gather my things and set out on my walk, the sun still not fully risen. It’s impossible not to risk a glance over at Josiah’s door, but like most mornings, I find myself longing for the sight of Asher.
I let myself into the chapel, quickly saying my morning prayer before lighting a candle for my mother, relishing in the silence of the wooden structure that had brought me so much comfort. For reasons I may never know, I tiptoe toward the Reverend’s office, tapping gently just in case. When I hear the shuffle of something beyond the door, my heart sinks.
He’s already here.
“Sister Riley?” he starts as he pulls the door open. “You’re early.”
“Yes sir,” I nod, preparing for the lie I’d had stored inside my mind just in case. “I knew we had a lot of work today and I woke early, so I thought I’d head over.”
“Yes,” he nods, scratching his chin in consideration. “Well, that’s very thoughtful of you and much appreciated,” he starts. “However, I’m afraid I’ve got an early meeting this morning. Would you mind giving me just a few minutes? Perhaps you could sweep the steps. With the wind last night, they could use it.”
“Of course,” I nod, giving him the best smile I can manage.
“Thank you,” he says before quickly pushing the door shut.
I make my way out to the steps, gently setting my worn, leather bag down on a pew and reaching for a broom in the corner on the way. I busy myself with both sweeping and worry as I try to decide the best way to return the folder I’ve still got in my possession. By the time I’ve swept the front steps the fourth time and my worry is taking over, the main door to the chapel swings open and Sister Ophelia steps outside, her eyes puffy from crying.
“Sister Riley,” she starts, her voice shaking slightly as she looks up at me in surprise.
“Are you okay, Ophelia?” I ask, my voice low enough that the Reverend won’t overhear. I know it’s against the rules to ask about anyone’s counsel, but she looks so upset, it’s impossible for me not to.
“Yes,” she nods, the mistruth showing in her eyes. “Yes, I just didn’t know you were out here.”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” I apologize, my eyes soft with compassion for her emotional state as she takes the steps quickly. “Be blessed, Sister.”
“And you,” she calls out, her steps never slowing as she makes her way to the main road.
By the time the Reverend calls me inside a few moments later, I’ve still not come up with any plans to return the folder. However, I know I can’t wait long.
When we make our way into his office, I feel a shiver run over me as I take my place at my small, makeshift work area.
For reasons I can’t understand, the man I’m in this room with, the same man that leads our entire community, is poisoning his wife.
If he finds out I’ve taken that file, there’s no telling what he’ll do to me.