Authors: Kate Benson
Riley
Despite my best efforts, I can’t hold the break in my emotions this time. The tears continue to flow, this time taking a gentle sob with them.
As the Reverend bows his head, preparing himself to pray over me, I hear the shift of feet on the dirt outside. The sounds of heavy footsteps on the wooden planks of the infirmary floor break our silence and I gently close my eyes, preparing myself for what’s surely coming.
The voice that fills the room surprises me.
“Father,” Tobias says low, pulling my eyes to his as he faces me. “Riley.”
“Tobias,” I whisper, relief filling me for only a moment before I take in the stoic expression he’s wearing. “What are you doing here?”
“I was concerned when I didn’t see you in church this morning,” he says quietly, redirecting his eyes to the Reverend. “I didn’t know I’d be interrupting your counsel.”
“You aren’t,” Reverend Tucker answers him, gesturing to the Bible he’s still holding. “We were praying. Would you care to join us?”
“Of course,” Tobias nods, bending over the opposite side of my bed.
They bow their heads, their lips moving silently as they pray over me. I lie staring up at the ceiling, my own prayers louder in my mind than they’d ever been before.
My silent prayer to the heavens, pleading for help, is interrupted by the feel of Tobias squeezing my hand.
I look to him, finding him glaring over me toward his father before he gives me his eyes. He nods silently, affectionately squeezing my hand once more.
“‘Do not fear, for I am with you,’” he whispers, the familiar scripture leaving his lips filling my heart with something I’d not felt in weeks.
Hope.
“Thank you,” I mouth, unable to stop the tear falling down my cheek.
With a soft expression, he nods silently before closing his eyes and continuing his prayers.
As they finish, they both raise their heads, the Reverend standing before Tobias follows suit.
“I spoke with the elders after service,” Reverend Tucker says quietly, replacing his Bible to his bag before facing me. “We were able to come to a decision about your future here on the farm,” he continues, his expression solemn. “You say that Asher came to your cabin to seek prayer, counsel. If that’s true, then you’ll have nothing to worry yourself with. However, in order for things to progress, in order for this community to put their trust in your guidance, your example, we need to be sure of your purity, Sister.
“Tomorrow morning, once you’ve rested, you’ll be examined to make certain you’ve not been tainted, that you’re not unclean.”
“Father,” Tobias interjects with a sigh. “Is that really necess…”
“Yes,” he cuts him off, his eyes holding an edge. “Had she been accused of a lesser sin, had an elder himself not come to me, I might be able to make an exception, take her word. As it stands, I have no choice but to question her virtue. I love Sister Riley like she’s my own,” he continues, his words making my stomach turn. “But I have to do what’s best for my flock. If what’s she’s saying is true, she’ll have nothing to worry about. All of this will be behind her in the morning. Isn’t that right, Sister?”
“Yes Reverend,” I manage, my cracking voice coming out in a whisper.
“Very good,” he nods, gathering his things. “I’ll send one of the elders by in the morning to oversee the examination. I’m sure you’ll understand that your close relationship with Sister Sara and Sister Rebecca, we’ll need someone within the clergy to confirm you’ve not been soiled.”
“I’ll do it,” Tobias offers, his voice low.
“Son…”
“If I’m to marry this woman, if I’m to be your successor and lead this community to the light, I deserve to know of her virtue more than anyone, wouldn’t you agree?” he cuts him off, causing the Reverend to think carefully as he holds his gaze. “I have faith in Riley’s word. As we take our vows, I’d take great comfort in knowing that mine are the only eyes that have fallen on her flesh.”
“Very well. Be here at first light,” the Reverend agrees. “Once the other patients are tended to, I’ll expect this to take priority. You’ll give me word at the chapel first thing.”
“Yes sir,” Tobias agrees, giving him a curt nod as we watch him leave.
“Tobias,” I whisper, looking up to see him watching the curtain, but he says nothing, instead shaking his head and gesturing for my silence.
A moment later, the front door to the infirmary swings shut and he pats my hand, releasing a sigh of relief.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers, sitting in the chair at my side, reaching for my hand once more. “I thought it best we wait for him to leave so we might speak privately.”
Giving him a nod, I take comfort in his affectionate squeeze of my hand, reaching over to cover his with mine.
“Tobias,” I try again, my eyes holding a combination of guilt and gratitude as Sara returns to the room. “There’s something I have to tell you.”
“No,” he shakes his head, giving me a soft smile. “There isn’t.”
I’m about to argue, but a moment later, I see him coming from the same door Tobias had joined us from.
They exchange looks, some silent agreement hiding within their eyes as Tobias stands. Asher takes his place at my side, reaching for my hand as his lips press against my forehead.
Tobias stands at the end of my cot, his expression soft as he watches awkwardly.
“Are you alright, sugar?” Asher whispers, pulling my eyes to him.
I give him a nod, grateful as he wipes my silent tears away and takes my hand before returning his eyes to Tobias.
“Thank you,” he says low.
“You’re welcome,” Tobias nods before glancing back over at me.
“I’m sorry…” I start, but am cut off as he shakes his head in disagreement.
“Don’t be. I was raised here, same as you, and I believe in the light,” he says quietly. “I also believe that you deserve to be happy, Riley.”
“So do you, Tobias,” I whisper, glancing over in Sara’s direction, her teary expression causing my heart to clench.
He follows my gaze but says nothing, instead clearing his throat of emotion and nodding in agreement.
I move to readjust myself, the movement causing me to wince in pain.
Sara stands, wiping her cheeks clear before moving to the small table beneath the window.
“It’s about time to change your bandages,” she says quietly, glancing over her shoulder to find Asher’s eyes. “Can you help her sit up, please?”
He does and as she moves to my side, leaning me forward to replace my old dressings with fresh ones. As she gently reveals my abused skin, I release a low whimper, pulling a deep sigh from Tobias.
“I’m so sorry, Riley,” he whispers, his eyes finding mine, regret written deeply in his features.
“Thank you,” I offer, watching him shake his head. “But this isn’t your fault.”
“I know, but he’s my father. It’s hard to not feel responsible,” he admits with a sigh. “Riley, I swear, had I known what he was doing to you, I never would have…”
“It’s okay,” I shake my head, sniffing back my tears of discomfort. “Without your help, things would be so much worse.”
He acknowledges me with a slight nod, saying nothing.
“May I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he nods.
“You said you didn’t know what happened in the chapel this morning,” I start, holding his dark eyes as he nods. “How did you know where to find me, Tobias?”
I watch as he diverts his gaze, his expression solemn as he releases a sigh and returns his eyes to mine.
“I spoke to my mother,” he says low. “She told me you’d likely be here.”
“Oh?” I ask softly, her words replaying in my mind once more.
‘Do not reveal the secret of another or he who hears it will reproach you.’
“Yes,” he nods, straightening his back and giving me a look of determination I’m not sure I’d ever seen before. “That’s not all she told me.”
“What did she say?” I manage, my broken voice leaving me in a hushed whisper.
“I think you already know.”
Riley
“Riley, you have to wake up,” Sara whispers, causing me to stir on the thin cot beneath me. The rain outside is beating down on the metal roof, the sound of it lulling me back to slumber.
Sleep… all I want is sleep.
“Brother Abraham is here.”
“Why? I thought Tobias was going to…”
“It’s raining too hard for the men to be in the fields, so Reverend Tucker sent him here to deliver the results,” she whispers, giving me a knowing look. “Tobias asked him to wait outside the door, but we’ll have to do the exam, Riley. He’s listening.”
With a nod, I swallow hard, sitting up carefully with a sharp wince of pain.
“Are you okay?” Tobias asks from his place in the corner, pulling a nod from me.
“Yes,” I say low, steadying my breathing. “I’m just… I haven’t been feeling well.”
“Understandable,” he says quietly, giving me another look of apology.
“I’ll go as quickly as I can,” Sara promises, giving my hand a gentle squeeze before revealing her soft smile.
“I know you will,” I nod, releasing a sigh. “Thank you.”
She gestures silently for Tobias to turn his back to us before helping me with my gown and preparing the area for my examination.
As she’s placing my feet in the stirrups, I hear the gentle rustle of footsteps from outside, the door cracking quietly and revealing Asher as he peeks inside.
He gives me a look of confusion as he takes me in and I gesture for his silence, pulling a nod from him as he quietly sneaks inside.
“They’re right outside,” Sara mouths, making his eyes flutter shut for a moment in understanding as he lifts my hand, kissing me gently.
“Are you ready to get started?” Sara asks, her voice louder now for the sake of our monitor waiting just outside.
“Yes.”
I focus on a spot in the ceiling, eager to put this behind me, but grateful to Sara for not leaving my side.
She works quickly, her movements gentle as she continues to speak louder than normal, reciting medical terms to keep Abraham at bay. A moment later, her head perks up, her eyes finding mine.
“Um…” she starts, her eyes growing wide for a split second before she steadies herself. “Looks like we’re all done here if you’d like to replace your gown.”
“Okay,” I nod, silently thanking Asher for helping me back up before retreating to his hiding place beneath the eave covering the door.
“Is everything okay?” Tobias asks, turning around to face me only after I’m covered.
“Yes,” she nods quickly, moving to wash her hands. “Yes, everything looks exactly as it should. You should tell the Reverend he’s nothing to worry about. Sister Riley hasn’t been soiled, her virtue is still very much intact.”
“That’s great news,” Tobias says evenly. “I’ll go deliver the news to the elders.”
Turning to leave, I hear his voice traveling through the door, relaying the same words he’d just heard from Sara. A moment later, he returns, relief plain on his face as he faces us.
“He’s gone,” Tobias says low. “That was close.”
“Thank you,” I say with a sigh of relief. “Thank you both. I’d hate to even imagine what could have happened… I don’t even want to think of it.”
Tobias is about to speak, but is quickly cut off by Sara’s teary voice.
“We aren’t exactly out of the clear yet,” she whispers, pulling our eyes to her worried expression.
“Why?” I ask, unease filling me as I take in her features. “What’s the matter?”
“I couldn’t say anything before with him listening,” she starts low, taking my hand. “But there’s something I have to tell you, Riley. Something I’m not sure how to say.”
“What is it?” I ask. “You can tell me anything, Sara. You don’t have to be afraid, just come right out and say it.”
“Okay,” she nods, giving me her eyes once more. “Riley, you’re with child.”
Asher
Riley, you’re with child.
Her words replay through my mind at least a half a dozen times. Standing still in my hiding place, just beyond the back door, the emotions coursing through me are unlike any I’ve ever felt before, maybe will ever feel again.
I feel as though my legs are about to give out beneath me when Riley’s voice brings me back, her words heavy with uncertainty.
“Are you sure?” she manages, her voice coming out just above a whisper.
“Yes,” Sara replies.
She’s about to continue, but my heavy footsteps cut her off, pulling Riley’s eyes to mine.
“Asher…” she starts, the teary expression she’s holding cutting straight through my very being.
You’re with child.
The words echo through my mind once more and before she can manage another word, my lips are on hers.
I cradle her face, placing my hands on her neck and kissing her deeply, no longer caring about the consequences. She raises her hands to mine, willing me to stay close as she releases a low whimper into my mouth. By the time I pull away a moment later, both of us are panting, our eyes heavy with lust, our bodies heavy with burden.
“Asher, what are we going to do?” she whispers, her fingertips lingering on my hands, still resting on her face. “If anyone finds out…”
“No one will,” I promise, gently shaking my head as I hold her eyes. “Riley, I swear to God, no one will ever lay another finger on you. I won’t let anyone hurt you, not ever again, baby.”
“We can’t keep this secret forever, Asher,” she whispers, her tears finally escaping as panic begins to set in. “The Reverend, the elders… eventually they’re all going to find out.”
“Maybe Tobias can ask that the wedding be pushed up?” Sara starts low. “Everyone would think the baby is his…”
I’m about to state my disapproval, but Riley beats me to it.
“I could never ask that of him,” she says immediately, shaking her head as she returns her eyes to mine. “And I’d never deny Asher was the father of this child.”
She places her hand over her still flat stomach, looking down at it in wonder as she sniffs back her tears.
“I’ll just have to tell the truth,” she says resolutely. “I’ll tell them it happened after today, that way no harm will come to either of you,” she continues, facing Sara and Tobias before giving her eyes back to me. “That will give you time to leave, get yourself to safe…”
“I’m not leaving you here,” I cut her off, placing my hand over hers. “There’s no way in hell I’m leaving you in this place with our baby, Riley.”
“They wouldn’t harm our baby, but they would harm you,” she argues, tearing up once more as I continue to shake my head in disapproval. “I can’t do it if I think you’ll be hurt, Asher.”
“No, I won’t leave you here alone,” I tell her once more, pulling her to my chest. “I don’t know what we’ll do, but we’ll find another way. There has to be…”
“Run,” Tobias cuts me off, finally putting an end to his silence in the corner of the room.
Our eyes all move to his in disbelief, all of us searching for any sign of hesitance but there is none.
He stands, moving to the edge of her cot and bending at her side, taking her hand in his.
“If you ever want to make it out of here, if you want to preserve the safety of yourself, Asher, your baby,” he whispers. “You don’t have a choice here. You have to run, Riley. Run away and don’t ever look back.”