Beyond the Power of Your Subconscious Mind (21 page)

Monday will come soon enough. And, after viewing the film together with her coach, a good coach might say, “Anything you see there that we might want to work on?” Mary can see the difference. Let Mary suggest the things she wants to work on. Let the coach become a facilitator to assist Mary in improving the performance she wants to make, if any.

A perfect performance, or a “10,” is simply that certain moment when, in the pursuit of excellence, the stars seem to be aligned and nothing goes wrong. Athletes have written and spoken of “the flow” or “the zone.” And if it occasionally comes your way, that’s great. But, wouldn’t life be a whole lot more fun and less stressful if we re-set our internal bar from perfect to excellent?

I guarantee it will sure be a lot more fun for those young kids that you someday may have the privilege to coach or parent.

One last point. Be aware of perfectionists in positions of leadership. Remember, they were raised themselves by well-intended perfectionists. Because of their orientation to what’s wrong, combined with feelings of being worth-less, they oftentimes are very insecure and have a great fear of failure (despite their macho facade). They tend to be great procrastinators and can stifle organizations because of their indecisiveness and inability to make major decisions (again, derived from a fear of failure).

Although the road to success is always under construction, we would all benefit from a little less criticism, the unconditional love and acceptance of our brothers and sisters, and the realization that, like snowflakes, no two people are the same.

The “one size fits all” model is simply unsustainable.

20

Accepting Personal Accountability
for Our Choices and Reactions
to External Events

For more than 20 years I had a saying that was framed on the wall in my office which read,

THERE ARE NO STRESSFUL SITUATIONS,
THERE ARE ONLY STRESSFUL RESPONSES

The word
no
is used for emphasis. Yes, there are extremely tragic events that certainly demand a “stressful response.” But we are talking now about everyday events that many handle with ease and lack of stress, while, others react to the identical situation with anger, resentment, jealousy, and a great deal of stress. Those who experience such stress, along with the accompanying pain and discomfort, don’t realize that their choice of response or reaction is the cause of a self-inflicted wound. Those who embrace and support the adage, “There are no stressful situations, there are only stressful responses,” take ownership and accountability for how they choose to respond. It doesn’t mean that they don’t experience anger and other negative feelings. It simply means that in being responsible for their reactions, they are more easily able to identify why they are feeling that way, and can choose to not feel stressed, and can quickly siphon off whatever thoughts were causing their distress.

I know this sounds perverse, but many of us have known people who don’t seem to be happy unless they are unhappy. Go figure. They feel victimized for their misfortune(s) and dwell on blaming others or specific events for their stress and ill feelings. Much of their “now-ness” is wasted by dwelling both mentally and emotionally on the past.

Conversely, those who accept personal accountability for the events in their lives don’t waste emotional energy replaying old tapes and engaging in “would of, could of, should of” nightmares from an error in judgment, a poor choice, or misfortune.

Instead, they suck it up, still feel the pain, but quickly refocus on the
present
, and quietly say to themselves, “OK, that may have been a “train wreck” but it’s over! I can’t change what was, but I can greatly influence what will be my present self talk and attention to the vision or picture of what I want.”

These people are very resilient. They treat setbacks as temporary. Webster defines “resiliency” as, the ability to recover quickly from illness, change, or misfortune; buoyancy.

Resilient people have great “bounce-back” capacity. They are very goal oriented and live by and practice much of what Dr. Murphy teaches. A good affirmation for dealing with setbacks is:

I treat all set backs as temporary. I am very resilient and bounce back quickly from setbacks or misfortune.

Those who live their lives accepting personal accountability for their actions move quickly to make amends for behaving in a non-loving way. They are also very forgiving people—not only of themselves but also of others.

21

How to Use Your Subconscious Mind
to Remove Fear

One of our students told me that he was invited to speak at a banquet. He said he was panic-stricken at the thought of speaking before a thousand people. He overcame his fear this way: For several nights he sat down in an armchair for about five minutes and said to himself slowly, quietly, and positively, “I am going to master this fear. I am overcoming it now. I speak with poise and confidence. I am relaxed and at ease.” He operated a definite law of mind and overcame his fear.

The subconscious mind is amenable to suggestion and is controlled by suggestion. When you still your mind and relax, the thoughts of your conscious mind sink down in to the subconscious through a process similar to osmosis, whereby fluids separated by a porous membrane intermingle. As these positive seeds, or thoughts, sink into the subconscious area, they grow after their kind, and you become poised, serene, and calm.

Man’s greatest enemy

IT IS SAID THAT FEAR IS MAN’S GREATEST ENEMY. Fear is behind failure, sickness, and poor human relations. Millions of people are afraid of the past, the future, old age, insanity, and death. Fear is a thought in your mind, and you are afraid of your own thoughts.

Do the thing you fear

Ralph Waldo Emerson, philosopher and poet, said, “Do the thing you are afraid to do, and the death of fear is certain.”

There was a time when the writer of this chapter was filled with unutterable fear when standing before an audience. The way I overcame it was to stand before the audience, do the thing I was afraid to do, and the death of fear was certain.

When you affirm positively that you are going to master your fears, and you come to a definite decision in your conscious mind, you release the power of the subconscious, which flows in response to the nature of your thought.

Fear of failure

Occasionally young people from the local university come to see me, as well as schoolteachers, who often seem to suffer from suggestive amnesia at examinations. The complaint is always the same: “I know the answers after the examination is over, but I can’t remember the answers during the examination.”

The idea, which realizes itself, is the one to which we invariably give concentrated attention. I find that each one is obsessed with the idea of failure. Fear is behind the temporary amnesia, and it is the cause of the whole experience.

One young medical student was the most brilliant person in his class, yet he found himself failing to answer simple questions at the time of written or oral examinations. I explained to him that the reason was that he had been worrying and was fearful for several days previous to the examination. These negative thoughts became charged with fear.

Thoughts enveloped in the powerful emotion of fear are realized in the subconscious mind. In other words, this young man was requesting his subconscious mind to see to it that he failed, and that is exactly what it did. On the day of the examination he found himself stricken with what is called, in psychological circles, suggestive amnesia.

How he overcame the fear

He learned that his subconscious mind was the storehouse of memory, and that it had a perfect record of all he had heard and read during his medical training. Moreover, he learned that the subconscious mind was responsive and reciprocal. The way to be in rapport with it was to be relaxed, peaceful, and confident.

Every night and morning he began to imagine his mother congratulating him on his wonderful record. He would hold an imaginary letter from her in his hand. As he began to contemplate the happy result, he called forth a corresponding or reciprocal response or reaction in himself. The all-wise and omnipotent power of the subconscious took over, dictated, and directed his conscious mind accordingly. He imagined the end result, thereby willing the means to the realization of that end. Following this procedure, he had no trouble passing subsequent examinations. In other words, the subjective wisdom took over, compelling him to give an excellent account of himself.

Fear of water, mountains, closed places, etc.

There are many people who are afraid to go into an elevator, climb mountains, or even swim in the water. It may well be that the individual had unpleasant experiences in the water in his youth, such as having been thrown forcibly into the water without being able to swim. He might have been forcibly detained in an elevator, which failed to function properly, causing resultant fear of closed places.

I had an experience when I was about ten years of age. I accidentally fell into a pool and went down three times. I can still remember the dark water engulfing my head, and my gasping for air until another boy pulled me out at the last moment. This experience sank into my subconscious mind, and for years I feared the water.

An elderly psychologist said to me, “Go down to the swimming pool, look at the water, and say out loud in strong tones, ‘I am going to master you. I can dominate you.’ Then go into the water, take lessons, and overcome it.” This I did, and I mastered the water. When I assumed a new attitude of mind, the omnipotent power of the subconscious responded, giving me strength, faith, and confidence, and enabling me to overcome my fear.

Master technique for overcoming any particular fear

The following is a process and technique for overcoming fear which I teach from the platform. It works like a charm. Try it!

Suppose you are afraid of the water, a mountain, an interview, an audition, or you fear closed places. If you are afraid of swimming, begin now to sit still for five or ten minutes three or four times a day, and imagine you are swimming. Actually, you are swimming in your mind. It is a subjective experience. Mentally you have projected yourself into the water. You feel the chill of the water and the movement of your arms and legs. It is all real, vivid, and a joyous activity of the mind. It is not idle daydreaming, for you know that what you are experiencing in your imagination will be developed in your subconscious mind. Then you will be compelled to express the image and likeness of the picture you impressed on your deeper mind. This is the law of the subconscious.

You could apply the same technique if you are afraid of mountains or high places. Imagine you are climbing the mountain, feel the reality of it all, enjoy the scenery, knowing that as you continue to do this mentally, you will do it physically with ease and comfort.

Normal and abnormal fear

Man is born only with two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud noises. These are a sort of alarm system given you by nature as a means of self-preservation. Normal fear is good. You hear an automobile coming down the road, and you step aside to survive. The momentary fear of being run over is overcome by your action. All other fears were given to you by parents, relatives, teachers, and all those who influenced your early years.

Abnormal fear

Abnormal fear takes place when a person lets his imagination run riot. I knew a woman who was invited to go on a trip around the world by plane. She began to cut out of the newspapers all reports of airplane catastrophes. She pictured herself going down in the ocean, being drowned, etc. This is abnormal fear. Had she persisted in this, she would undoubtedly have attracted what she feared most.

There are people who are afraid that something terrible will happen to their children, and that some dread catastrophe will befall them. When they read about an epidemic or rare disease, they live in fear that they will catch it, and some imagine they have the disease already. All this is abnormal fear.

The answer to abnormal fear

Move mentally to the opposite. To stay at the extreme of fear is stagnation plus mental and physical deterioration. When fear arises, there immediately comes with it a desire for something opposite to the thing feared. Place your attention on the thing immediately desired. Get absorbed and engrossed in your desire, knowing that the subjective always overturns the objective. This attitude will give you confidence and lift your spirits. The infinite power of your subconscious mind is moving on your behalf, and it cannot fail. Therefore, peace and assurance are yours.

He dismissed himself

The general manager of an organization told me that for three years he feared he would lose his position. He was always imagining failure. The thing he feared did not exist, save as a morbid anxious thought in his own mind. His vivid imagination dramatized the loss of his job until he became nervous and neurotic. Finally he was asked to resign.

Actually, he dismissed himself. His constant negative imagery and fear suggestions to his subconscious mind caused the latter to respond and react accordingly. It caused him to make mistakes and foolish decisions, which resulted in his failure as a general manager. His dismissal would never have happened, if he had immediately moved to the opposite in his mind.

Deliver yourself from all your fears

Learn the wonders of your subconscious, and how it works and functions. Master the techniques given to you in this chapter. Put them into practice now, today! Your subconscious will respond, and you will be free of all fears.

Step this way to freedom from fear

1. Do the thing you are afraid to do, and the death of fear is certain. Say to yourself and mean it, “I am going to master this fear,” and you will.

2. Fear is a negative thought in your mind. Supplant it with a constructive thought. Confidence is greater than fear.

3. Fear is one’s greatest enemy. It is behind failure, sickness, and bad human relations. Love casts out fear. Love is an emotional attachment to the good things of life. Fall in love with honesty, integrity, justice, good will, and success. Live in the joyous expectancy of the best, and invariably the best will come to you.