Big Decisions (6 page)

“You lied to me when you said there was nothing in the box,” she said.

“Well, nothing besides the mouse. Plus, I guess, cookie crumbs and water.”

“Still, Levi, no matter how you say it, it still really wasn’t the truth. Telling lies, even littler white ones, will land us in a heap of trouble if we’re not careful.”

He looked at his desktop, avoiding her eyes. Lizzie sighed. Levi had a good heart. He was simply drawn to mischief just as a duck or goose is naturally attracted to water. He thrived on paddling around in his own little pond of schemes and pranks like this one. Harmless, perhaps, but disruptive nevertheless.

A certain quality in Levi spoke to Lizzie’s own heart. She had been very similar to Levi when she was in school. When she had gotten bored, she could always think of ways to make life more exciting. Then, when she was reprimanded, she was so embarrassed, until she thought of another prank.

The Valentine’s Day party went off without a hitch, although Lizzie ate so many cookies that her stomach hurt. Stephen gave her a beautiful Valentine and a huge box of chocolates. Lizzie couldn’t help eating just a few, even after all the cookies she had consumed earlier in the day.

Holiday or not, there was no rest at home. As soon as she sat on the sofa to catch her breath and read the comics in the daily paper, either Mam or Mandy asked her to do something like paint the basement.

For one thing, painting the basement was ridiculous. She had just painted it a nice coat of glossy white paint the summer before. But, oh, no! It had to be done again in the middle of the winter. It was the same all over the house and barn. No rest for mind or body.

No one cared what she thought or paid any attention to her. That was why she ended up at the family doctor’s office with a huge infected area on the back of her lower leg.

A week earlier, the winter temperatures had risen enough so that rain fell instead of snow. The rain froze immediately that night when the temperatures dipped, covering the drifts of snow with a slick coat of ice. It was the perfect mixture for wonderful sledding on the steep hill behind Lizzie’s schoolhouse.

The children careened wildly down the long, steep hill on sheets of plastic, cardboard, and sleds—anything they could cling to as they raced downward. Lizzie allowed the children an entire hour of extra recess, knowing this sledding was a rare opportunity for some exciting thrills.

Lizzie joined in the fun, flying down the hill with her students until one of Lizzie’s knee socks slid down, and the back of her leg scraped on the ice during a wild ride across the snow. She didn’t notice that she was injured until the children pointed, shrieking, to a large brush burn that ran down the entire back of Lizzie’s leg. She looked and gasped, stunned by the deep scrape. The cold had already numbed her leg, and she wasn’t in any pain. She limped back to the warmth of the schoolroom, bandaged her leg, rang the bell, and resumed classes.

That evening, Mam fussed and clucked over the size of the scrape, saying it looked more like a burn.

“Soak it in Epsom salt and put Union Salve on it,” she said, her usual, never-fail cure for every ache and injury.

“Now just how am I supposed to soak the back of my leg in Epsom salt?” Lizzie asked, a bit upset because Mam wouldn’t help her more.

Mandy glared at her, as if to tell her without words what an absolute baby she was.

“Just fill a dishpan almost full and hang your lower leg over it,” she said sternly.

So with a great deal of snorting and displays of her foul mood, Lizzie managed to wet the injured area, spread the dark brown salve painfully across it, and slap a paper towel on top, because, as usual, there was no gauze bandage in the bathroom cupboard.

But now it was only a week before the wedding, and her leg still had not healed. At night, she tossed fitfully, the throbbing pain keeping her awake as she resolved not to make a fuss to anyone. She had actually reached the point where she was truly happy for John and Mandy. Her jealousy had finally dispersed like storm clouds on a sunny day. She had wanted desperately to stop feeling so jealous of Mandy and even prayed earnestly about it. Once she really, really wanted to overcome this, she actually had.

Mandy was so sweet, so easy to like, and so in love with her tall, handsome John that she made everyone else happy, too. Little bursts of happiness shone from her green eyes, and Lizzie told her she reminded her of a fairy scattering stardust.

“Oh, Lizzie,” Mandy said sincerely. “I want the same thing for you. I hope with all my heart your turn will be in November.”

“I’m about 100 percent sure he’ll ask me. I mean, why wouldn’t he? Look how long we’ve been dating.”

“Sure he will, Lizzie.”

“Look at this, Mandy.” Lizzie turned the back of her leg to show her the now-infected wound, and Mandy gasped as she peeled off the bandage. It was clearly a bad infection, and at Mandy’s yelp, Mam came to see what all the commotion was about. She took one look at Lizzie’s leg and immediately bundled her off to see the doctor.

Armed with antibiotics, salve, gauze, cloth tape, hot and cold compresses, and orders to keep her leg elevated, Lizzie returned to the hubbub of preparing for Mandy’s wedding.

By the time the relatives came the next week on the
risht-dawg
, the day of preparation for Mandy’s wedding, Lizzie’s leg felt much better, and she was able to help get the house ready for the big day. There was the usual happy banter as the food was prepared. Lizzie’s aunts baked pies, cooked tapioca pudding, washed the celery, and baked bread until the whole house was a regular beehive of activity. In the living room, the men set up rows of benches and tables.

“When Amish people have a wedding, they even wash their barn windows,” Lizzie commented.

“Oh, yes, of course. The cow stable is whitewashed, and everything that isn’t painted gets a fresh coat,” her aunt laughed.

“Our cow stable isn’t in use anymore, so it didn’t get whitewashed, just cleaned,” Lizzie laughed.

Joshua and Emma arrived, all smiles and happy to be waiting on the
eck
. The married sisters and brothers of the bride had the special job of waiting on John and Mandy and the other members of the bridal party, or in the Pennsylvania Dutch language, the
nava-sitza
. It was a very important assignment, and Emma’s cheeks glowed with anticipation as she laid out the table linens, china, silverware, and all the pretty cut-glass dishes they would use. Mandy was not allowed to see what Emma and the cousins were doing, because it was all a surprise for her when she sat at the corner table the day she was married.

The women cut butter into fancy wedding-bell shapes, covering it carefully with plastic wrap and refrigerating it for the big day. They made special Jell-O dishes, fruit dip, and all kinds of delicious food for the bride and groom.

“What beautiful china!” Emma gasped.

Lizzie was hurrying past with a basket of clothes and turned to smile at her.

“Isn’t it? I was so jealous of Mandy’s china for so long that it actually cured me. Kind of like getting a severe dose of the measles. Once it’s that bad, you’re immune to it.”

Emma laughed. “Ach, Lizzie, you couldn’t be too envious of Mandy. She’s too sweet. Your turn will come.”

Lizzie smiled as she hurried up the stairs with her basket of clothes. Dear, dear Emma. She had so much plain-down goodness and common sense, such a well-grounded attitude about everything. She never got too much in a tizzy about anything, just took it all in stride matter-of-factly, never questioning God or fretting needlessly.

She probably didn’t even think there was anything to feel bad about if Mandy was married first. That was how God intended it, and Lizzie would just have to be patient and wait until Stephen decided to ask her. Mandy and Lizzie had laughed plenty, sitting in their rooms, trying to decide what you could say to your boyfriend to get him to ask you to marry him. But still, there was no getting around it, the ultimate timing, the big question was all up to Stephen, no matter how many broad hints Lizzie threw at him.

She never said too many shameless things, just coyly suggesting the colors she liked for a kitchen or the style of cabinets. Typically, Stephen never answered or mentioned the fact that he liked a certain type of house or anything at all.

The wedding day dawned bright and clear, a perfect late March day. Buses and passenger vans packed the driveway, mixed with teams of horses and buggies, people hurrying and scurrying everywhere.

John’s family and friends were all from the Lamton area, so it seemed as if over half of the crowd arrived in vehicles. Lizzie liked John’s parents immediately, a nice-looking, friendly couple who were from an old Lamton family, obviously hard-working and very proper with impeccable manners.

Lizzie told Mam they reminded her of the old Southern families she had read about in books. Mam said, yes, they were probably much the same. They were all well-to-do Amish farmers, though, and not plantation owners, although their ancestors, like the Southern families, probably came from a certain circle of people in England or Germany.

Hmm, Lizzie thought. So now Mandy is marrying into the “gentry” from Lamton. Oh, dear. Next thing, I’ll just be her common servant, and she’ll snap her fingers to have my absolute obedience.

When John and Mandy stood before the minister from Ohio, they looked so sincere and serious, pronouncing their vows with such quiet solemnity, that Lizzie was quite overcome by emotion. Unexpectedly, a huge lump formed in her throat, and quick tears sprang to her eyes at the thought of Mandy’s serious step, this embarking together on life’s river with John by her side.

John was as handsome as he had been the first day Lizzie saw him. It had taken her a while to accept that John wasn’t interested in her, but instead in skinny, big-eyed Mandy. Lizzie glanced over at Stephen who sat straight and still on his bench. Well, things had worked out for the best, just as Mam had said they would.

Still, Lizzie didn’t want Mandy to be married. First Emma, now Mandy. The thought of life without sisters, except for her twin sisters, KatieAnn and Susan, who were still too young to be much fun, was depressing indeed. But this was a day of happiness, of joy and celebration, so Lizzie put aside all thoughts of losing Mandy to John and his dairy farm. There was no sense in becoming absolutely morose on Mandy’s special day, so she did her level best to smile brightly, talking and laughing happily with all the guests after the service was over.

But once the buses and vans motored out the drive, and the tired aunts and uncles finished washing dishes and putting benches and chairs away, and she could finally collapse into bed, she cried great tears of genuine self-pity. She wallowed in her sad feelings like a pig in its mudhole, actually enjoying the fact that she could release her pent-up emotions after spending all day with that artificial smile pasted on.

She wished with all her heart that Mandy wouldn’t have married so young. Now she’d never be the same. She’d turn into this proper walking stick who didn’t laugh hilariously and kick Lizzie out of bed or do other unladylike things that were so … so sisterly and had long ago secured a bond between them that no proper Lamton family could even touch.

Oh, she could just see it. Now, when she’d go visiting Mandy on the dairy farm, she’d open the door, her hair combed sleek and smooth, not even a trace of any stray hairs, her covering ironed to perfection, and she’d inquire with genuine warmth about her trip. And Lizzie would stand on her doorstep and feel like a genuine hillbilly, fat, with her hair going in every direction and her covering crooked, and say, “Fine, thank you. Isn’t it a beautiful day?”

They would never again, not once, throw back their heads and laugh uproariously or go swimming in the creek or drive Billy. Mandy was
married
. A great wave of regret and nostalgia carried Lizzie along until she thought she would just stop breathing with the awful pain in her chest.

And another thing. Stephen hadn’t even been very romantic at the supper table. He was having too much fun with Marvin and Aaron, who sat across the table. He was having a great time, laughing and teasing poor Sara Ruth until Lizzie was embarrassed. He could at least act as if he planned to grow up someday and seriously ask her to be his wife.

Well, I’m not going to live here alone without Mandy, she decided. If he doesn’t ask me to marry him, I’ll have to ask him myself. It had been hard when Emma left home to live in Allen County, but Mandy getting married was even worse.

Why hadn’t Stephen tried to give her some special attention and hint about it being her turn to be the next bride? Not a word, not a serious look, nothing.

She punched her pillow, flipped on her side, and groped for the box of Kleenex in her nightstand drawer. Blowing her nose loudly, she wiped her eyes, rolled over, and resumed pitying herself. The next morning, when Mam asked her what was wrong with her eyes, Lizzie glared at her and told her she had eaten too much wedding cake.

J
OHN AND MANDY MOVED
10 miles away to their dairy farm soon after they were married. Lizzie went back to school where she was quickly swept up in her teacher’s duties again. The easy routine of teaching made it easier for her to accept the fact that Mandy was married and that she had gone to live with John.