Big Girls Don't Cry (2 page)

‘Not emotionally,
’
she would reply. That’s why I loved her so much. She was the best friend a woman could ask for.

The group of trainers slowly disappears into another area of the gym, and I realize I am not going to be helped. I’m feeling sick to my stomach as I walk to the door
of
the club
.
I just want to get out of
here
quickly
,
before anyone else has time to laugh at me for even
thinking about
coming in.
I can hear them
chucklin
g in my head and I start to
panic
. My legs move faster a
s I begin running for the door.
My vision blurs,
slowly turning into a spiraling t
unnel
and
I pass out.

~ ~ ~

“Hello! Miss! Miss! Can you hear me? Can you hear me?” A voice echoes loudly in my head.

“Dude.
I think she’s dead.”

“No way.
There’s too much fat around her neck.
Probably saved her from breaking it when she fell.”

“I know. I heard the
thud from the back of the club,
”
another voice
speaks, and laughter follows.

“Sh
ut up!
Both of you
.”

“Sorry, Billy.”

“Me too, Bro.”

I struggle to open my eyes.

“Shhh! She’s coming to!”

“Still want me to call the ambulance, Billy?”

“Ambulance?”
I speak softly. “No, no ambulance.”

“
Whoa
,
j
ust lay still
. You took a pretty nasty fall, kiddo.” A firm hand holds me down as I try
sitting
up. “We’re going to have them come and check you out.
Just to be safe, okay?
”

“
Okay
.” I speak—
my head spinning. Slowly my vision returns
,
and I realized the man sitting over me is the same guy who opened the door
earlier
.
Just
is my luck. I see a good looking man and instead of being able to talk to
him, I pass out
and crack my skull open. Not literally, but right now
I hope it is
,
so they take me away quickly.

But it’s not, and they don’t. It takes t
he EMT’s over
20 minutes to arrive.

Don’t worry it’s j
ust a fat chick. Take your time…

~ ~ ~

By the time they arrive,
I’m sitting against the wall
with
an ice compress on my forehead— l
ooking like a complete dork, I’m sure.

I
pay no attention to the EMT
un
-
wrapping the b
lood pressure reader from
my
arm
.
I’m too busy
looking
over the large ice pack at
the good-looking man,
Billy
,
who is
now
scanning in
new arrivals
for the 10:30 kick boxing class.

“
Gretchen L
ane
. I’m Twenty-four, a
nd, it’s
Monday
the twenty-first
of May
,” I tell the young man taking my vital signs.
‘Is he going to be teaching the class?’
I wonder of Billy.

Of all of the times I’ve come to take a class, this is the only time I wish I actually could.

Billy has a hard time keeping his attention on the desk as he continues looking over, monitoring
my
situation.

The line of new arrivals ends
,
and
I s
hrivel
from
the realization he’
s walking over to me.
He’s tall and muscular
,
and
moves
confidently
through a domain he’s clearly comfortable being in
—
Large and in charge
.
‘
Not me. I’m just large.
’
I kid myself to keep from
panicking
.

I’ve always lacked self-confidence
.
I think tha
t
’s why I
fin
d it so attractive in others.

“Is she going to live?
” he asks, completing my self-mortification.

I hide from his perfect smile by placing t
he ice pack firmly over my face, and mumble from underneath,
“Unfortunately
.” I’m sure my face is beet red.
‘It’s from the ice pack!’
I want to scream.

An
EMT
gives Billy the
thumbs up
, and
his partner
continue
s
closing up
their
gear and preparing to leave.
Billy walks them to the exit of the gym
,
shaking hands, and thanking
them for the help.

He’s not smiling as he walks back, and I can only imagine what’s going on in his head.
‘Is she going to try and sue us?’

“Don’t worry. I’m not going to try and sue the gym,” I state as he returns.

The smile comes back to his face. “Well, that’s a relief. I’d hate to see us get sued over not having someone present to catch our fainting guest.”

“True,” I say, with a light giggle.

“Tell you what I would like to do for you
, though
.”

“What’s that?”

“When you’re feeling up to it, I’d like to offer you a couple of complimentary sessions with one of our trainers
…
By the way my name is, Billy.” A large hand extends out. I look past
to the
beautiful smile.

“
Gretchen
,” I respond, taking his hand. His grip is stron
g and firm, but he’s tender as
he holds my hand
,
shaking
lightly. “I would like that. But, I’ve already been given the free sessions the first time I came…
And,
I didn’t join,” I say, waiting for the
heave ho
I always get when they realize there is no money or sales to be had.

“That’s okay. I’m the fitness manger. I’ll give you a couple more. Maybe you’ll joi
n this time.” His hand squeezes mine tightly. “
Let me help you up,
”
he offers. I
push with all of my leg strength
,
trying
to lighten the load
,
and he
e
ffortlessly pulls me to my feet with a quick tug.

The fast
accent sends my head spinning—
One second I’m standing looking at his face, and the next I’m nestled on the small patch of hair
rising
out of his white tank top
.

“Hold on
champ
!” He says, catching me in his arms. He holds me
firm
, keeping
my body
from slipping to the floor. He’s strong
,
and I can feel his thick chest muscle
s
through the thin
fabric of the
shirt.  A light
odor
of spicy cologne fills my noise, and I breathe in deeply
,
as my head clears.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I
guess I’m
still dizzy.
” I pause for a moment
,
before trying to push away.

“
Here, wait one sec
. Let’s make sure you’re okay.”
He
holds me clo
sely and my heart races.

‘Please don’t let him feel that.’
I don’t want him to know
how excited I am to be
embraced
by a man. I
can’t even remember the last time I was held by
anybody other than a family member
.

My large breasts are smashing aga
inst
him
, and I feel my nipples responding
as they grow hard
. I watch as Billy slowly pushes me away. His eyes are deep blue and he stares intensely as
he
slowly
back
s me
up
. He smiles
with
the corners of his lips turn
ing
up, as his eyes travel down to my
over-sized
breasts. Looking down, I see my
erect
nipple
s
extending out
through the sheer fabric of my
white blouse. When I look up, Billy is smiling
as he watches unashamed
.

“I’ll do it, if you train me,” I
say
nervously.

“
Absolutely
,”
he
answers
,
smiling and quickly glancing again at my breasts. “Here is my card
.
Call me when you’re ready. And, don’t make me come looking for you. Or else,” he
smiles again, and I’m pretty sure I already love him
.
Not really,
but oh my God
.

“I won’t,” I say
, backing a
way
like a young school girl
.
Stumbling, I trip
over the turned up edge of the rug
at the
front of the door, before turning and
quickly
exiting the gym.

Outside
, I stand against the wall
breathing deeply
. My heart feels like it’s going to beat out of my chest, and I can barely catch my breath
,
as I wait for Michelle to answer
the
phone.

“Hello
.”

“OH MY GOD!
You
’
r
e
not going to
believe
what happened to me today!” I scream into the little receiver.

I spend the next fifteen minutes telling Michelle about the hot trainer and everything that happened.

“He
was even staring at my boobs
. Can you believe that
?
”
I ask, happily.

“Yeah, I don’t know if I’d be comfortable with that,
Gretchen
.”

“Oh, please. I wis
h more men would stare at them. Oh God, he was
gorgeous
! Tall, over six feet, I’m sure. Muscular, handsome, and he was so nice to me.”
I close my eyes and take in a deep breath trying to calm down from this self-attained high.

The
conversation ended with
me
promising
Michelle
I would be careful
,
and not get too attached.

“Remember what happened
the
last time someone showed an interest in your boobs,” she said.

“You
’
r
e
right,” I agreed. Remembering
a
sexually aggressive boss I
once
had. He had obsessed over my large breasts
, and offered
a lot
of
perks if I would allow him certain privileges with them. In a
moment of weakness I gave in, and before I
knew what was
happening
he had
torn open my blouse
and
ejaculated
onto my
hanging
breasts
.
He w
as embarrassed afterwards and
ran out of the room, leaving me alone
in his office, my breasts covered in semen
.
I was fired a week later. I should have sued, but I was too scared.

This was different though. I mean maybe Billy
was
just trying to get me to buy training. I didn’t care. I liked him and I wanted to be around him.