Big Shot (19 page)

Being served in bed would have been very romantic, especially if he’d snacked with her. She was pretty sure he wasn’t thinking that way. “I’m sorry I missed having dinner with your family. I hadn’t planned to fall asleep again. I just drifted off without warning.”

“You’re here to sleep and relax and not have to worry about schedules. Besides, I figured the emotional impact of talking to Lucy wore you out.”

“I was so engrossed in the moment, I didn’t see you leave. I was hoping you stuck around long enough to realize that I recognized Lucy’s voice.”

“Absolutely. I wouldn’t have missed that. But then I left so that you two could have some privacy.”

“Thanks for making that happen in spite of my protests.”

“You’re welcome. What’s the status on your memory now?”

“I still have quite a way to go, but at least it was a step in the right direction. Mostly it was childhood memories that came back to me. Unfortunately, I still don’t remember anything about the case I was working for Connie Latimer so I still can’t be certain that it was related to Ben’s murder.”

“Then I assume you don’t remember the actual attack?”

“I’m still drawing a complete blank there, too. I hate that I can’t get a handle on things.”

“It’ll happen. Just give it time. Now how about some food? I saved you a steak and some potatoes. Or if you’d like something light, Mom always has yogurt and fruit in the fridge.”

“The yogurt sounds good.”

“I’ll get you a spoon,” Durk said. “You can check the supply and pick out the flavor you want.”

Meghan opened the refrigerator and leaned over to search the laden shelves.

“Scoot stuff out of the way if you need to,” Durk said. He came over to help.

Their hands met in the refrigerator. Hers tangled with his. His tangled with a jar of strawberry preserves. They caught the jar together before it tumbled to the tile floor.

Their laugher intermingled. A split second later Durk’s arms were around her and Meghan reeled from the mesmerizing sensation of being exactly where she belonged.

Chapter Fifteen

Durk reacted instantaneously, his desire turning rock hard. The hunger for Meghan was fast pushing him over the edge. But if he kissed her, he might never be able to stop. Making out with Meghan right here in the kitchen where someone in his family might walk in on them at any second was out of the question.

Hell.
What was he thinking? He shouldn’t even have his arms around her. She wasn’t just emotionally vulnerable; she was recovering from a concussion. She’d checked out of the hospital today against the doctor’s recommendation. He was supposed to be watching over her.

Durk let his arms drop from around her and stepped away. He had to keep a clear head. “Do you feel like taking a walk?”

“If that’s what you want.”

“It’s what I need. There are some light jackets hanging in the laundry room. Wait here, and I’ll get us a couple.”

He breathed easier when he had walked away from her, but the desire was still riding him hard. He’d thought he was making progress in getting over her. The reaction he’d just had proved he was as bewitched as ever.

He should have hired all the help she needed, but he should have never brought her to the Bent Pine. But she was here now. He had to get his act together.

Once they’d stepped onto the back porch, he helped her into the jacket. He had a flashlight in the pocket of his, but there was little chance he’d need it. The moon was almost full and sparkling stars filled the sky. As if he needed a romantic backdrop tonight.

“It’s beautiful out here,” she said as they descended the steps. “The stars look as if I could reach up and grab one.”

“I think about that sometimes when I’m away on a business trip to the other side of the world,” Durk said. “Well, not actually about touching the stars but how the same stars that I see here seem just as near when I’m continents away, yet the Bent Pine Ranch seems light-years away.”

“Do you travel a lot?”

“I have lately. It’s the nature of the oil business and our shrinking world. It’s always good to get back to Texas, though, and especially great to get back to the ranch.”

“Yet you chose to go into the oil business while your brothers chose the ranching lifestyle.”

“Many things about the corporate world appeal to me.”

“For instance?”

“The responsibility. The challenges. The constant technological innovation. The interaction with all kinds of people from all over the world.

“Besides, it’s a family business. My grandfather and his father built it up from scratch when oil was first discovered on the land. I’ve always thought Lambert Inc. should have a Lambert at the helm.”

Durk started to relax. As long as they kept walking and stuck to safe topics, he could handle this.

“But you really are a cowboy at heart,” Meghan said. “I didn’t quite buy the cowboy clothes and easy mannerisms once I realized you were a wealthy entrepreneur, but seeing you on the ranch and interacting with your family, I get it.”

“See? I’m not that complicated once you get to know me.”

“How well did I get to know you when we were dating?”

“I couldn’t say. We didn’t do a lot of talking those first few weeks. We were too consumed with the physical side of the relationship. But I’m pretty much what you see is what you get.”

“Yet you admitted that you never brought me to the Bent Pine. Was that because I didn’t want to come or you didn’t think I’d fit in?”

Somehow he’d let the conversation take a bad turn. He wouldn’t lie to her, but there was no use getting into painful truths tonight. “It’s been two years since we dated, Meghan. Are you sure you want to get back into all of that again?”

She grabbed his hand and tugged him to a stop. “Kiss me, Durk. Not the way you did this afternoon, but the way you did when we first met.”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Then stop thinking and just lead with your mouth.”

He should run like hell from this kind of temptation. But when she put her arms around him and pulled his mouth to hers, he gave up the fight. He took Meghan in his arms and pressed his hungry lips against hers.

She melted into the kiss, yielding at first and then giving way to passion with the same wild, uninhibited fervor she always had before. Holding nothing back, as ravenous for him as he was for her, she toyed and nipped and sucked and parried until the thrill of her drove him absolutely crazy with desire.

Blood rushed to his head, the need for her so explosive he could feel it deep inside his soul.

But this was not what she needed. Not now. Not this soon after the attack. He forced himself to step away from her. “We should go back inside while I can still walk.”

“Not yet.”

“Meghan, I’m trying to do what’s right, but I have only so much control.”

“I won’t push myself on you again. But there’s something I have to know.”

“Shoot.”

“You said we split because we didn’t work together. I thought you meant there had been no magic. I know better now. What we just shared is dynamite.”

“It was always dynamite with you.”

“So why did we break up?”

It wasn’t the time or the place for this discussion, but he could tell Meghan was not going to drop it until he gave her an honest answer.

She shoved her hands in the jacket pockets. “Was there someone else?”

“Don’t ever think that. I couldn’t get enough of you. I went to work and counted the hours until I could see you again. I canceled business trips or sent someone else in my place because I didn’t want to spend a night without you in my arms.”

“But I simply wasn’t the one you wanted to take home to meet the family.”

“That’s not how it was, not even close.”

“Then what was it? My job.” Her hands flew to her hips. “It was my job, wasn’t it? Billionaire CEOs do not marry private investigators. I would have embarrassed you, out chasing killers when the other wives were shopping for their designer clothes and throwing debutante parties.”

Her accusations were as frustrating as everything else about this night. He threw up his hands in exasperation.

“If you think I’m so shallow and superficial that I’d give a rat’s behind about whether or not you shopped for designer clothes and hobnobbed with a bunch of socialites, then you don’t know me at all, Meghan.”

“That’s just it. I don’t know you, Durk. You have memories of us. I just have this inexplicable attraction and all the mixed signals you keep giving out. All I’m asking for is a level playing field.”

“What mixed signals do you think I’m giving out?”

“You put your life on hold to take care of me when we haven’t even exchanged a phone call in two years. You bring me home and insinuate me into your family when you’d never even introduced me to them while we were supposedly in a hot-and-heavy relationship.”

“Okay, Meghan. You made your point. You want the truth? I’ll give it to you. It
was
your job that broke us up. Not because there’s anything wrong with your profession. The problem was with the way you do your job.”

“What the devil is that supposed to mean?”

“You deliberately blur the lines between what you do and what should be left to law enforcement. You take unnecessary risks and put yourself in danger over and over and over again.”

“We could have talked about it before you just blew me off.”

“No, we couldn’t—because you didn’t want to talk about it. You were at the top of your game and your profession and you made it clear you had no intention of changing. And I didn’t blow you off. You broke up with me because you said I wanted more than you could give. I couldn’t argue with that.”

“Then maybe you did want too much. I don’t remember the past, Durk, but I know that I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure the no-good murderous monster who killed Ben Conroe will pay for the crime. If that means I’m not the kind of woman you want in your life, then you’re probably not man enough for me anyway.”

“That goes without saying. I’m not man enough to leave you every morning and worry that you’re meeting a murderer for lunch. I can’t plan a life with you only to come home one night and realize that I’ll never hold you in my arms again because you took one risk too many instead of handing the information over to the police.”

“Then you were right, Durk. It really was over for us before it ever got started. I’m cold and ready to go back inside now.”

Durk was cold, too, all the way down to his soul. He expected to feel that way for a long, long time.

* * *

M
EGHAN HAD PUSHED
the issue. She’d demanded answers and now she had to live with them.

The kitchen lights were on and she could hear laughter as they approached the house. Evidently, everyone had not been in bed earlier but had merely gone back to their private quarters. Now at least some of the Lamberts had reassembled and she’d have to walk right past them.

She’d have to speak to them and pretend that she hadn’t just sabotaged any future she might have had with Durk. Magic was not enough. Love didn’t solve every problem the way they promised in movies, books and songs.

Durk took her arm as they climbed the steps, no doubt making sure she was steady and that her verbal outburst hadn’t caused a surge of vertigo.

That was Durk. Protective of her in spite of the tension that dogged their every step.

They entered through the laundry room and hung their jackets on metal hooks next to the door.

“Hey, just in time for pie and hot chocolate,” Alexis called before they’d even reached the kitchen door. “We wondered where you two had gone off to.”

Meghan felt as if the air was being sucked from her lungs as they joined the two couples in the cozy kitchen. Tague was pouring hot chocolate into tall white mugs. Damien was serving pie. Emma and Alexis were sitting at the table, dressed in their pajamas, faces scrubbed clean of makeup.

Damien held up an empty pie-serving wedge. “Who’s in for pie? There’s two slices left.”

Meghan’s stomach rolled, a warning of what it would do if she pushed food into it. “None for me,” she said. “I’m a bit nauseous tonight.”

“In that case, I
almost
forgive you for missing out on my perfect steaks,” Damien said.

“I can fix you a scrambled egg if that would sit better on your stomach,” Emma offered.

“No, really, nothing for me. I hate to be a party pooper, but I’m feeling a little tired. If you’ll excuse me, I think I’ll retire to the guest quarters.”

“You do look a little shaky,” Alexis said. “Where’s your pager? You should alert the nurse.”

“The pager is next to my bed, and I promise I will use it if I need to.”

“I think you’re supposed to keep the pager with you at all times,” Emma cautioned. “That way you can let her know if you get dizzy or feel faint.”

“I think our walk just wore her out,” Durk said. “But I’ll see that the nurse checks on her.”

Durk didn’t look up as Meghan walked away. He joined in the animated camaraderie with his family while she was left to deal with the agonizing fear that she’d just traded a lifetime of love for the opportunity to get herself killed.

* * *

M
EGHAN POURED HERSELF
a cup of hot tea the next morning and glanced back at the kitchen table where Durk was engrossed in faxes. “Would you like a refill on your coffee?”

“Yeah, thanks,” he said without looking up. “Now that everyone has left for church, we can get back down to business.”

But he’d been all about business even before they’d left. The verbal clash last night had thrown a suffocating damper on their relationship. Now it seemed that all he wanted was to get his time with her over and done with.

She set his coffee in front of him and slid into the chair next to his, irritated that he’d seemingly been able to push the kiss from his mind while it dominated her thoughs. It had set her on fire. Had her job really meant so much to her that she’d walked away from Durk rather than cut back on the danger? What kind of danger junkie was she?

Durk pushed one of the fax printouts of her phone activity in her direction.